Tim ban nao nhiet tinh check writing

Chào các bạn, mình đang chuẩn bị thi IELTS vào cuối tháng này nhưng vì hoàn cảnh gia đình éo le nên không ở thủ đô được, hiện mình đang ở quê. KHông có thầy dậy, hiện mình đang tự mò mẫm. Thành thật là reading và listening thì mình còn cố được, chứ wirting cứ độc lập tác chiến mãi thế này mình thấy không ổn. Có bận nào tốt writing, có chút thời gian thì check jup mình nhé. Cứu 1 mạng người hơn xây 7 tòa biệt thự mà,

Đây là bài viết của mình. Các bạn comment giúp mình nhé


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To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement.

These days, along with the improvement of advanced technologies, our life is increased depending on computer technology in some aspect of communication, medicine and transport. Some social methodologists concerned that the reliance has caused a detrimental problem. In my opinion, computer technologies not only implement some kinds of difficult task more accurate and time- saving but also help people more active and social.
Modern technical computer seems more accurate and time-saving in compared to humankind efforts. For example, in entry gates placed in railway stations , a range of modern equipment automatically controlled by complex computer systems would help the progress for checking and identifying individuals via cards more quickly and nearly entirely truthfully. Those actions should be time-consuming and less accurate if fulfilled by human-being. Furthermore, in term of medicine, it is said that intelligent machines managed by computer systems are the ideal assistances for experts in tough surgeries. The minor changes in patients would be promptly discovered by sophisticated supporting equipment which helps doctors resolving immediately happening problems. Thanks to those advances, many lives would be saved from the threat of dangerous situations.
It some time said that in aspect of communication, the overdependence on computer technologies would lead to the shortage of face to face communication as well as negative affects to interpersonal skills, especially young generation who spend a lot of time on the screen of computer connected internet for their virtual world. However, I would argue that the outside interact which done via computer intelligent software such as email or skype will help people making new friends what culture they belong to and how age they are. As a result, this will significantly improve their communication skills as well as make them more active – the key factors which greatly contributing to their success in the future.


In conclusion, our life are increasingly developing and more convenient thanks to the support form the computer technology. If lacking of those advances, people would confront with a varieties of difficulty in conducting their daily businesses


Cám ơn các bạn,

These days, with the improvement of advanced technologies, as human beings we rely on computer techonology for conveniences in communication, medicine and transportation. Some social methodologists are concerned that the reliance has caused a detrimental problem. In my opinion, computer technologies not only help implement certain difficult tasks more accurately while saving time, they also help people become more active and social.

Modern technical computers are more accurate and time-saving compared to natural human efforts. For example, in entry gates placed in railway stations , a range of modern equipment automatically controlled by complex computer systems would help the progress for checking and identifying individuals via cards more quickly and nearly entirely truthfully. These actions would otherwise be more time-consuming and less accurate if fulfilled by a human-being. Furthermore, in terms of medicine, it is said that intelligent machines managed by computer systems are the ideal assistances for experts in tough surgeries. The minor changes in a patients con***ion such as heart beat and breathing,would be promptly discovered by sophisticated supporting equipment, that would help doctors resolve any immediate problems. Thanks to these advances, many lives are saved from dangerous medical situations.

Often, in the aspect of communication, the overdependence on computer technologies would lead to the shortage of face to face communication resulting in negative affects to interpersonal skills. The prime concern being the younger generations who spend a lot of time on computers connected to their virtual world. However, I would argue that the other interactions done via computer intelligent software such as email or skype will help people make new friends despite their culture and age. As a result, this will significantly improve their communication skills as well as make them more active – the key factors which greatly contribute to their future successes.

In conclusion, our life are increasingly developing and more convenient thanks to the support from computer technologies. Lacking those advanceswould affect the convienience of which people conduct their daily businesses.


I think you did a good job over all. Just focus on writing more simple sentences, and be more specific. Where are you getting your information? you keep writing "it is said" Who says all this? You also use quite an amount of passive tense (dạng thụ động) so avoid that. Ex: passive: "The minor changes in patients would promptly be discovered" vs nonpassive:"Sophisticated supporting equipment can promptly discover minor changes in a patient's con***ion"
Overall good job tho : ) keep working on it. my email is tramimitea.pham@yahoo.com. I'll be glad to help you further! writing, pronunciation, bất kể việc gì trong khả năng của tớ! I love helping hard working students such as yourself! Hoàn cảnh già đình khó khăn mà vẫn cố gắng học tiếng xoá nạn mù chữ, thật là đáng ngưỡng mộ! x> Cố lên nhé!

Cám ơn bạn nhiều lắm, mình đã gửi mail vào địa chỉ của bạn rồi, mong nhận được feedback của bạn.

Ah, nếu được mình đã attach 1 ít quà quê cho bạn rồi, nhưng mà bạn biết rồi đấy, ở quê thì chỉ có "tấm lòng" là dạt dào thôi, đành cảm ơn bạn trước vậy,

Chào cả nhà, lại thêm 1 sản phẩm chưa hoàn chỉnh nữa cần mọi người góp ý giúp mình. Lúc mình ngồi làm bài, trời nóng vô cùng,[r37)][] mải làm quá quên cả nóng. Khuyến cáo mọi người, tu luyện môn writing này là cách nhanh nhất để tránh nóng,[]


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To what extent is this style of management effective ?
Are there better ways of encouraging employees t work hard?

Some employers found out that one of the most effective ways to encourage their numbers of staff is give them extra money for their brilliant contribution. This type of encouragement would raise motivation as well as enthusiasm among staffs and inevitably, significantly increase company benefit.

No denial, the extra money which is awarded merely by the minority of employees who greatly contribute to the company will raise a sense of competition and motivation through which each individual further attempt to improve their personal skills and working efficiency. This, clearly, considerably increase the productivity of their companies. Furthermore, a significant bonus money paid will play a crucial role in improving their life both in physical and spiritual way. By higher paid, not only their daily accommodation are guaranteed , they but also possess further chances approaching more luxurious recreational activities which would considerably ease their high pressure they confront with in working environment such as paying for expensive holidays or simply going to the theatre for a concert.

Opponents of paying extra money to employees as a reward for their remarkable achievement concerned that the way of incentive would destroy the friendly working environment between brilliant employees and nothing-awarded ones as well as undermined their true values such as passion and enthusiasm. However, the productivity and creativity which are nearly entirely come out in the atmosphere of competition would outweigh those concerns. Ad***ionally, achieving higher positions resulted in a huge amount of money paid would be a biggest motivation for the staff to try their utmost. For example, Henry Ford made a decision which was considered ineffectively at that time, doubled the salary of his workers if they fulfil his task earlier than usual one month. The result gained was unbelievable, they even finished those assignments earlier than prediction a half of a month. How amazing they are!

In conclude, material award is one of the most effective ways to encourage employees. They would be more enthusiastic and hard-working to what they do if their contribution are recognized and generously paid.

Cám ơn cả nhà rất nhiều,






.

Bạn gửi bài bạn viết vào mail cho mình nhé, mình sẽ check cho. Thú thực là mình cũng ko phải good at writing lắm, mà cũng lâu lắm từ ngày thi TOEFL (mình được 29 Writing) rồi ko luyện lại viết, nhưng hy vọng giúp bạn được nếu có thể. Gluck!

Bạn ơi, mình cũng giống bạn cái tính absent-minded đấy, hii. Bạn không public email thì mình không gửi bài cho ban được. Đây là địa chỉ email của mình bomh123@yahoo.com.
Cám ơn bạn vì đã nhiêt tình giúp mình,

Dù chưa có bạn nào comment bài trước của mình nhưng nhân lúc có internet mìn phải post bài tiếp ngay. Các bác thông cảm nhé, mấy hôm trước kéo được cái văn minh về nhà nhưng do share với nhà bên cạnh nên nguồn cung cấp này thình thoảng lại bị cắt,. Anyway, nếu bạn nào có thời gian thì comment giúp mình, rất cám ơn cả nhà>
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Some people therefore think that governments should pay university fees for students who study subjects that are needed by society. Those who choose to study less relevant subjects should not receive government funding.
Would the advantages of such an educational policy outweigh the disadvantages.

For the purpose of encouraging a higher number of experts who devote themselves in some sectors needed by society, government should totally fund their university fees. Contrarily, ones who study irrelevant subjects should pay for their tuition fees. In my opinion the support from authorities would lead to the inequality as well as several detrimental consequences to workforce.

Government funding in aspect of tuition fees for students who devote themselves at university level should excessively depend on their financial situations and how excellent they are other than which fields they choose. If they know that a subject for free to study, they would tend to choose it for the purpose of financial support whether they are passionate it or not. This would lead the tough situations that they would hardly attempt and hard-working to pursue it in long run without enthusiasm and passion.

Furthermore, the irrational funding would create an imbalance in labor workforce. It seems that a numerous number of high school graduates will choose the areas government encourage in comparison with merely a minority devote themselves in unnecessary sectors which are not favor by the authority donator. For example, for the progress of industrialize, 10 years ago, Viet Nam government encouraged by giving free tuition fees to whose subject were IT sector which necessary for the improvement of the country in the context of world integration. This incentive led to the imbalance between the huge quantity of specialists who work in IT industry and the shortage of other careers such as doctor and teacher.

Last but not least, it would be a wiser policy for government if they give scholars to students who study some particular sector needed by society instead of fee tuition fees to them. This would resolve the issue of inequality among university students, ad***ionally, the incentive will help those students more enthusiastic and hard-working to achieve.

In conclude, government should issue an equal policy of tuition fees all of students at university paid no matter what subject they study. Otherwise, they would confront with the tough situation of imbalance in labor workforce in the future.



Thank a lot

Mail vào quangtrunge8k42@gmail.com để nhận phản hồi nhé. Mình mới sửa được một bài vào word. Mail ghi subject liên quan tới Writing là được.

Marking

bác bad, í quên, batman này có ý j nhỉ,[r23)]