60 things Not to talk to naked guys

phần đầu buồn cười quá nên viết đây cho bà con đọc còn phần hai là xem báo của canada về vấn đề "tình trạng bạo lực của các wild woman " đối với children và man ,ai xem thì đừng có tưởng chuyện bịa nhé ! 100% đấy, đọc mà thấy hãi
60 things NOT to say to a naked guy


1. I've smoked fatter joints than that.
2. Ahh, it's cute.
3. Who circumcised you?
4. Why don't we just cuddle?
5. You know they have surgery to fix that.
6. It's more fun to look at.
7. Make it dance.
8. You know, there's a tower in Italy like that.
9. Can I paint a smiley face on that?
10. It looks like a night crawler.
11. Wow, and your feet are so big.
12. My last boyfriend was 4" bigger.
13. It's ok, we'll work around it.
14. Is this a mild or a spicy Slim Jim?
15. Eww, there's an inch worm on your thigh.
16. Will it squeak if I squeeze it?
17. Oh no, a flash headache.
18. (giggle and point)
19. Can I be honest with you?
20. My 8-year-old brother has one like that.
21. Let me go get my tweezers.
22. How sweet, you brought incense.
23. This explains your car.
24. You must be a growing boy.
25. Maybe if we water it, it'll grow.
26. Thanks, I needed a toothpick.
27. Are you one of those pygmies?
28. Have you ever thought of working in a sideshow?
29. Every heard of clearasil?
30. All right, a treasure hunt!
31. I didn't know they came that small.
32. Why is God punishing you?
33. At least this won't take long.
34. I never saw one like that before.
35. What do you call this?
36. But it still works, right?
37. Damn, I hate baby-sitting.
38. It looks so unused.
39. Do you take steroids?
40. I hear excessive masturbation shrinks it.
41. Maybe it looks better in natural light.
42. Why don't we skip right to the cigarettes?
43. Oh, I didn't know you were in an accident.
44. Did you date Lorena Bobbitt?
45. Aww, it's hiding.
46. Are you cold?
47. If you get me real drunk first.
48. Is that an optical illusion?
49. What is that?
50. I'll go get the ketchup for your French fry.
51. Were you neutered?
52. It's a good thing you have so many other talents.
53. Does it come with an air pump?
54. So this is why you're supposed to judge people on personality.
55. Where are the puppet strings?
56. Your big gun is more like a BB gun.
57. Look, it fits my Barbie clothes.
58. Never mind, why bother.
59. Is that a second belly button?
60. Where's the rest of it?

à giải thích cái bà "Lorena Bobbitt " câu 44 : bà này là nỗi khiếp sợ của các man đấy ạ , người gì mà điên đến mức cắt ... của chồng , một trong những vụ khiếp đảm nhất trong hồ sơ cảnh sát canada!
"Lorena Bobbitt Again Facing Prison
Another violence charge against the slicer
More of this Women's sick behavior

Lorena Gallo Bobbitt, who was set free after slicing off her sleeping husband's ***** with a kitchen knife, is now charged with assaulting her mother. Bobbitt, once the hero of the gender-feminists, faces trial in April.

Will she again use the "I'm just a poor innocent suffering woman" defense that got her off with the first jury? Will the cheering supporters present at Lorena's earlier trial be there again for her this time?

________________________________________________

Lorena Bobbitt arrested; men relive fears
Warning note to e***ors and readers: Lorena Bobbitt made news again, and therefore the following column justifiably and unavoidably contains potentially offensive words. The column contains a single use of each word: "*****," "de*****ed," "be*****ed," "un*****ed" and "testicles." To avoid offending sensitive readers -- especially men who shudder to think about "de*****ing" or "untesticlement" -- the column substitutes terms for sausage, such as "wiener" or "frankfurter," in subsequent references to "*****" and substitutes terms for eggs in further references to "testicles." Thank you.

© Copyright 1998
By JEFF LANGLEY

Lorena Bobbitt was in the news again, and merely the latest mention of her name psychosomatically burned and stung the groin regions of many men and encouraged many women to raise two fingers in a "V" for victory sign with a snipping motion.

The former Lorena Bobbitt, who has used her maiden name, Lorena Gallo, since her 1995 divorce from John Wayne Bobbitt, was charged with assaulting her mother on Dec. 5. She was arraigned Dec. 8 and faces up to one year in jail and a $2,500 fine, if convicted of the misdemeanor.

Gallo, 28, was accused of punching her mother, Elvia Gallo, 49, while the older woman watched television. Gallo lives with her parents in a Virginia suburb of Washington.

Trial was scheduled for April 2, and Gallo was released on a $750 bond.

Few people would know or care about the former Lorena Bobbitt's latest trouble, if the woman hadn't gained earlier worldwide infamy for cutting off her sleeping husband's ***** with a kitchen knife. The woman severed the "frankfurter" with one swipe in June 1993. She carried the detached "wiener" with her when she left, but tossed the amputated "braunschweiger" along the road.

The "hot dog" was recovered and reattached in a nine-hour operation, leaving the "salami" mostly functional.

Mrs. Bobbitt said she bobbed Mr. Bobbitt's "bologna" because he raped her and abused her for years. Mr. Bobbitt, however, was found not guilty of raping his wife. Later, in January 1994, jurors found Mrs. Bobbitt not guilty by reason of insanity on a charge of "malicious wounding," a legally polite term for lopping off her husband's "knockwurst." She was ordered to spend 45 days in a mental hospital.

Bobbitt parlayed his surgically reattached "Vienna sausage" into a new career. He was the main character in a fast-selling porno movie, "John Wayne Bobbitt--Uncut," and worked as a male stripper and on the talk-show circuit.

The Bobbitts' 15 minutes of fame would be over, if not for Lorena's December arrest. An Associated Press story about the arrest said John Bobbitt, 30, has stopped putting his "tube steak" on display as sleazy entertainment.

He moved to Nevada to live near four of his five brothers, and in January, he found a new job. Bobbitt was hired as a host, bartender and limousine driver for a legal whorehouse near Carson City.

Lorena Bobbitt wasn't the first or the last woman to lop off her mate's "chorizo y huevos," and some men even chop their own.

Aurelia Macias of Los Angeles was charged at a November 1993 hearing with snipping off her sleeping husband's testicles with heavy shears.

"The 'eggs' were not found," the Los Angeles Times reported. Reuters News Service reported last spring that a 58-year-old woman in Vilnius, Lithuania, was arrested after she tried to castrate her husband.

"She did succeed to cut off one of her husband's 'ova.' Apparently, the woman was under the influence of alcohol. The police searched the house and found the missing 'embryo' on top of a wardrobe with a surgeon's knife next to it," the news service reported. On Dec. 5, a California man told police a woman known only as "Brenda" severed his "bratwurst" to the base with an X-Acto razor-blade knife, the AP reported.
amen cho ông chồng của bà nàyAlan Hall, a 48-year-old pipe fitter, told police Brenda came to his trailer, where they had ***. Hall told police the woman said she cut off his "hot link" in retaliation for Hall killing her female friend in the early 1980s. But Hall admitted slicing off his own "liverwurst," after police questioned him for information needed to create a composite drawing of Brenda. New Yorker Earl Zea, 34, told police last spring an intruder sawed off his "wienerwurst." Zea drove himself to the hospital. He finally admitted cutting off his "Polish dog" with pruning shears to discourage another man from seeking him for romance, an AP story said.

A 67-year-old New York man missing the same body part turned up at a Bronx hospital in the fall of 1995 and claimed a prostitute snipped off his "tubular casement," because he refused to pay her. Domingo Morales' missing "bloodwurst" was found in a plastic food container in his kitchen. The retired truck driver said he made up the story about the prostitute in fear that he would be sent to a mental institution, AP reported.

Lorena Bobbitt could open an unlicensed home surgical clinic and make a fortune, based on the substantial number of men who actually want to be "de*****ed," "be*****ed" or "un*****ed." " ôi trời đất




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