các bác giúp e check hô. bài essay, thanks

các bác giúp e check hô. bài essay, thanks

Leader like John F. Kennedy and Martin Luther King have made important contributions to the people of the United States. Name another world leader you think is important. Give specific reasons for your choice.

Perhaps, bringing up in peace, I have always been heard about proud tra***ions as well as glorious victories of the whole country. However, to achieve these, we will never forget our leader and his accomplishment for liberty. His famous quote has awoken many Vietnamese generations.
?oNothing is more precious than freedom and independencê? Ho Chi Minh said.
I know words cannot completely express all his achievement, but I?Tm going to do my best to do in this essay.

First of all, Patriotism is the motivation leading Ho Chi Minh to achieve the goals. Living the country to find a way to rescue my country from a very young age, Ho Chi Minh became more mature in both mental and physical ways through lessons which he witnessed. Those lessons played very important roles to form plans, ideas for the revolution when he returned my country. No matter how miserable the life was, patriotism seemed to wrap feather on the wings of belief. For him, only can peace bring about a miracle for his people. And this was derived from patriotism

How many enemy?Ts disastrous traps were created for him, how many jails he was captured in, how many fights he took part in? All together present his bravery. Not only has this bravery shone the racê?Ts pride but also a straightforward thrust to the malicious enemy. He presented his irony spirit in a poem collective ?odairy in the jail? as well. And we learn that circumstance is not the element pushing people under pressure, but bravery is the efficient method to raise a person up through difficulties.

I have wondered how many of us carry the determination to overcome a problem daily. And how we can retain this for such a period. Ho Chi Minh was successful in remaining and developing his determination. He set goals to gradually settle down problems related to poverty, education, and war. The determination to bring our country peace was the greatest passion that I have ever seen so far. He proved that by forcing the enemy to be out of my country and holding victory for the whole country.

In conclusion, As I mentioned in above sentences, words cannot expressed all the glory that a world leader can bring to us. We, the next generations are not only thankful to the achievement but also remember for the rest of our life. Ho Chi Minh is truly a great world leader in our eye as well as the world eye. And we pride in having a great leader like him.

Trình độ còi nên chỉ dám phát hiện giúp bác mấy lỗi từ/ngữ pháp thui. Nhiều câu có lẽ nên viết lại, nhưng tui thì chẳng biết viết thế nào cả

Mấy câu: How many enemy''s... nên đc sửa lại vì:
-Những cái đó (enemy''s traps, in jails) không trực tiếp present bravery.
-Fights take part in: Cái này thì có thể nói là trực tiếp thể hiện lòng dũng cảm đây. Nhưng nghe đầu gấu quá, như uýnh lộn ở ngoài đường ấy.
-Cách diễn đạt chưa ổn lắm
Ví dụ sửa thành: no matter how.., how.., .. ,his bravery still shone.. chẳng hạn cho gọn

?oNothing is more precious than freedom and independencê? nghe hỈi Vietnamese , mình thì d<ch là
Freedom and independence matter most.

"great leader" thôi, "great world leader" dễ hiểu sang ý khác. eyes chứ chột hết hay sao mà "our eye".
Nếu cần thì He và Him viết hoa cả cho nó có vẻ kính trọng
Được alexanderthegreat sửa chữa / chuyển vào 22:30 ngày 12/03/2007

Xin phép các bác, trình độ em còi xin góp ý như sau :
In conclusion, As I mentioned in above sentences, words cannot express all the glories that a world leader brought to us. We, the next generations not only thank to the achievement but also remember for the rest of our life. Ho Chi Minh is truly a great leader in our eyes as well as the world eyes. And we pride in having a great leader like him.
Cấu trúc : not only... but also phải tương ứng với nhau.
Em còn câu cuối : em k biết có chính xác k ? Bác nào biết chỉ em với
And we pride in having a great leader like

Bạn này dùng từ đao to, búa lớn quá nên nguyên cái bài essay thấy có cái gì đó nó thiếu thiếu. cứ ca ngợi một chiều thế thì hơi mất hay. Nếu có thể so sánh với mấy người kia có lẽ hay hơn.
Anyway, một số chỗ mình thấy bạn dùng từ sai.
shone the race?Ts pride but also a straightforward thrust to the malicious enemy
Theo câu này thì la his bravery shone a straightforward thrust to the malicious enemy.
Vậy cần một động từ sau chữ and. thrust at/into thì nghe có lý hơn là thrust to. tuy nhiên đọc đi đọc lại vẫn thấy từ thrust nó kì kì sao á.
Xin sửa lại là "Not only is his bravery our nation''s pride but also a direct hit against the malicious enemies."
Nhưng mà lòng dũng cảm sao đâm quân thù đuợc ta. VN thì có nói bóng nói gió chứ nói tiếng anh zdị ko hiểu có ai hiểu ko.
in a collection of poem/poetry collection
Put people under pressure. chua nghe ai noi push bao giờ. nhưng biết đâu đấy.
bravery is the efficient method to raise a person up through difficulties
Bravery sao là method được ta???
help a person through difficulties.
I have wondered how many of us carry the determination to overcome a problem daily
I wonder how many of us have enough dertermincation to overcome such hardship.
developing determination
làm sao determination can be developed???
settle down problems (settle down là sai nghen, settle còn được) ko thì solve, resolve
The determination to bring our country peace was the greatest passion that I have ever seen so far. ko hỉu bạn mún nói gì.

As I mentioned in above sentences
As I mentioned above thui
We, the next generations are not only thankful to the achievement
not only apppreciate his achievement.
words cannot expressed chia động từ
Irony spirit -&gt; iron spirit
Nhìn chung là dùng từ đao to búa lớn vì dịch từ mấy bài lịch sử tiếng việt sang tiếng anh. Dùng từ sai nhiều.
Anyway, phê phán dễ hơn làm nên bạn đừng có nản nhé

great !

Nghe hỈi quê quê
" freedom and independence matter most " nghe b"i hỈn