Chia sẻ đôi dòng nhật ký

Chiều nay gọi điện cho dì Huyền. Dì hỏi, "Sao con Hương với thằng Châu ra sao rồi?"
Em nói, "didn''t work out rồi dì ơi"
Dì hỏi, "Hương không chịu hả?"
hehe
"Không có dì ơi. Dì Huyền biết ý con quá. Con thấy anh Châu perfect for con. Nhưng mà anh Châu không thấy connection"
Dì nói, "Sao kì vậy. Để tối nay tao gọi hỏi bố mẹ với nó coi sao"
heheh
Châu đáng ghét. Anh lấy bố mẹ ra để làm em thương anh. Giờ thì em mét bà dì để bố mẹ anh give anh a hard time
Châu đáng ghét. Em chưa từng khóc trước mặt ai, mà giờ anh bắt em phải khóc trước anh. I swear I''ll not let you rest. I''ll do anything I can to give you a hard time!!!
Chọc anh thôi. I hurt. But I got to move on...
Có lần nào đó em đã nói, "You can never make someone love you", và em tin là vậy. Love cannot be forced. Nothing I can do...
Nhưng em feel good after all because I''ve told you everything I need to tell you.
Em cũng cám ơn anh vì tự nhiên giờ em hứa là em sẽ keep good grade at school, watch the news more often, and try to improve my speaking skill. You change me, anh, in some way.

Chiều nay gọi điện cho dì Huyền. Dì hỏi, "Sao con Hương với thằng Châu ra sao rồi?"
Em nói, "didn''t work out rồi dì ơi"
Dì hỏi, "Hương không chịu hả?"
hehe
"Không có dì ơi. Dì Huyền biết ý con quá. Con thấy anh Châu perfect for con. Nhưng mà anh Châu không thấy connection"
Dì nói, "Sao kì vậy. Để tối nay tao gọi hỏi bố mẹ với nó coi sao"
heheh
Châu đáng ghét. Anh lấy bố mẹ ra để làm em thương anh. Giờ thì em mét bà dì để bố mẹ anh give anh a hard time
Châu đáng ghét. Em chưa từng khóc trước mặt ai, mà giờ anh bắt em phải khóc trước anh. I swear I''ll not let you rest. I''ll do anything I can to give you a hard time!!!
Chọc anh thôi. I hurt. But I got to move on...
Có lần nào đó em đã nói, "You can never make someone love you", và em tin là vậy. Love cannot be forced. Nothing I can do...
Nhưng em feel good after all because I''ve told you everything I need to tell you.
Em cũng cám ơn anh vì tự nhiên giờ em hứa là em sẽ keep good grade at school, watch the news more often, and try to improve my speaking skill. You change me, anh, in some way.

hehe Thằng học trò vừa mới gọi phone, "Hey cô Hương, can you teach me 5 days a week from Monday to Friday from 8-9pm? "
"Sure I can"
Thanks God ! There ought to be something to keep me busy now. Nếu không thì em bị dày vò vì nhớ anh.
I''m not strong, anh, not at all. I''ve deleted all your mails and your phone number, too. There''s no way I can contact you now.
Chúa ơi, em nhớ khi anh đến nhà chơi với cháu của em. Em nhớ anh ôm nó trong lòng, anh chơi đồ chơi với nó. Em nhớ anh cười nắc nẻ như con nít. Em nhớ cái tóc ngắn gần như trọc đầu vậy đó, khiến em chỉ muốn lấy tay vò đầu anh thôi. Em nhớ đôi mắt nhìn, khiến em chỉ muốn vỡ tan trong lòng anh. Em nhớ cái cảm giác cánh tay em đặt gần cánh tay anh, khi mình đi xem phim. Em nhớ cái cảm giác thật mạnh mẽ khi anh hug em goodbye. Mặc dù chỉ là cái hug xã giao bình thường, nhưng em biết, nếu anh yêu ai, that woman gonna be happy.
Lúc này em đang viết nhật kí này, thì nhỏ Đào gọi điện thoại. Nó nghe giọng em, nói em "hyper". Ừ, em điên rồi.
................But I got to move on....

hehe Thằng học trò vừa mới gọi phone, "Hey cô Hương, can you teach me 5 days a week from Monday to Friday from 8-9pm? "
"Sure I can"
Thanks God ! There ought to be something to keep me busy now. Nếu không thì em bị dày vò vì nhớ anh.
I''m not strong, anh, not at all. I''ve deleted all your mails and your phone number, too. There''s no way I can contact you now.
Chúa ơi, em nhớ khi anh đến nhà chơi với cháu của em. Em nhớ anh ôm nó trong lòng, anh chơi đồ chơi với nó. Em nhớ anh cười nắc nẻ như con nít. Em nhớ cái tóc ngắn gần như trọc đầu vậy đó, khiến em chỉ muốn lấy tay vò đầu anh thôi. Em nhớ đôi mắt nhìn, khiến em chỉ muốn vỡ tan trong lòng anh. Em nhớ cái cảm giác cánh tay em đặt gần cánh tay anh, khi mình đi xem phim. Em nhớ cái cảm giác thật mạnh mẽ khi anh hug em goodbye. Mặc dù chỉ là cái hug xã giao bình thường, nhưng em biết, nếu anh yêu ai, that woman gonna be happy.
Lúc này em đang viết nhật kí này, thì nhỏ Đào gọi điện thoại. Nó nghe giọng em, nói em "hyper". Ừ, em điên rồi.
................But I got to move on....

Sis 6sense: I''m so sorry that you and C didn''t work out. I can imagine how upset you are at this moment but Please be strong, it''s just not the right time... I''m really at a loss for words, just can''t find a way to show you how I feel. You know what a friend told me? She said, "Girls are the ones who make decisions. Boys just have the chance." That''s it. C didn''t take his and who knows someday he will have to be sorry for that mistake.
Do you listen to LeAnn Rimes, sis? I think this chorus is extremely beautiful and I really wanna dedicate it to you. Hope that you can be better.
... Oh life goes on, and it''s only gonna make me strong. It''s a fact. Once you get on board say goodbye cause you can''t go back. Oh it''s a fight. And I really wanna get it right. Where I''m at, it''s my life before me. Got thing feeling that I can''t go back...
Let it be a memorable experience
7/10/2003
Just a few days left before my birthday comes. Normally, I feel absolutely happy and excited, but right now, how do I feel? Empty. Yes, totally empty. I''m not looking forward to that day. It''s just an ordinary day like every other ones in the week!!! Earlier, my mother asked "What do you like, dear?" "Nothing, mom.", I answered sorrowly. "So how do you want to hold your party?" "I don''t wanna do anything. I don''t want to have a birthday party." She must have felt a little bit strange since it was quite abnormal of me to say such a thing. I''ve been so eager to reach that point yet now... just wanna do thing nothing about it. How is my birthday gonna be??? No brother? No "best friend"? Still remember how glad I was last year when October 18 came. It was the day when my brother returned from the UK after quite a while. But this time, he won''t be back until December. Best friends? Oh I have a lot and they''re always by my side, whenever I need them. But ... YOU are not here now. Hey.... you know how much I miss you? Everyday I open my mail box to see if your email is there. But ... nothing õ?Ư it''s alright. I can understand you''re busy and you need time to adapt to a new life. Just wanna read sth from you, my friend. Will you call me? It''d be the most wonderful present... I miss your voice, I miss your smile, I miss everything about you.... Every single time I open my wallet, our pictures are there. We look so good together and they remind me of the time we played about, the way we used to scream and shout... never thought you''d go your own sweet way...
So close no matter how far... I have you in my heart and nothing else matters...

Sis 6sense: I''m so sorry that you and C didn''t work out. I can imagine how upset you are at this moment but Please be strong, it''s just not the right time... I''m really at a loss for words, just can''t find a way to show you how I feel. You know what a friend told me? She said, "Girls are the ones who make decisions. Boys just have the chance." That''s it. C didn''t take his and who knows someday he will have to be sorry for that mistake.
Do you listen to LeAnn Rimes, sis? I think this chorus is extremely beautiful and I really wanna dedicate it to you. Hope that you can be better.
... Oh life goes on, and it''s only gonna make me strong. It''s a fact. Once you get on board say goodbye cause you can''t go back. Oh it''s a fight. And I really wanna get it right. Where I''m at, it''s my life before me. Got thing feeling that I can''t go back...
Let it be a memorable experience
7/10/2003
Just a few days left before my birthday comes. Normally, I feel absolutely happy and excited, but right now, how do I feel? Empty. Yes, totally empty. I''m not looking forward to that day. It''s just an ordinary day like every other ones in the week!!! Earlier, my mother asked "What do you like, dear?" "Nothing, mom.", I answered sorrowly. "So how do you want to hold your party?" "I don''t wanna do anything. I don''t want to have a birthday party." She must have felt a little bit strange since it was quite abnormal of me to say such a thing. I''ve been so eager to reach that point yet now... just wanna do thing nothing about it. How is my birthday gonna be??? No brother? No "best friend"? Still remember how glad I was last year when October 18 came. It was the day when my brother returned from the UK after quite a while. But this time, he won''t be back until December. Best friends? Oh I have a lot and they''re always by my side, whenever I need them. But ... YOU are not here now. Hey.... you know how much I miss you? Everyday I open my mail box to see if your email is there. But ... nothing õ?Ư it''s alright. I can understand you''re busy and you need time to adapt to a new life. Just wanna read sth from you, my friend. Will you call me? It''d be the most wonderful present... I miss your voice, I miss your smile, I miss everything about you.... Every single time I open my wallet, our pictures are there. We look so good together and they remind me of the time we played about, the way we used to scream and shout... never thought you''d go your own sweet way...
So close no matter how far... I have you in my heart and nothing else matters...

''Cái gì không phải của mình thì sẽ mãi không là của mình'' I didn''t believe this before but now, I should keep it in mind. Forget him, ignore her and push everything that makes you sad away pls. How many times I''ll have to remind you again that you''ve got your very own life and have to live for it???Pls pls pls...never forget it.
One Step Closer

''Cái gì không phải của mình thì sẽ mãi không là của mình'' I didn''t believe this before but now, I should keep it in mind. Forget him, ignore her and push everything that makes you sad away pls. How many times I''ll have to remind you again that you''ve got your very own life and have to live for it???Pls pls pls...never forget it.
One Step Closer

Hi 5plus6sense,
Sorry to hear that it didn''t work out for you. I know exactly how you feel. I was in a two years -long distance relationship with my "used to be honey, sweetie, pumpkin, lover" I thought everthing went fine because he never told me he feels anything different. He loved me, pampered me, took care of me whenever he visited me. He gave me the biggest hope that we''re the greatest couple in the world. We even talked about marriage, and our plans, our future together. All of the sudden, he started to fade away, I didn''t know what I was doing wrong. I kept asking him but he kept avoiding it. I sensed something wrong but he didn''t tell me. He said I was overracted and being ridiculous. However, I found out he was dating someone else for a period of the last 6 months of our relationship. So, in order words, he was dating someone but didn''t have the guts to tell me. I was shock, hurt and disappointed. In my mind, he was the perfect man in this imperfect world. I loved him and felt so secure being with him. I trusted him, never had any doubts about our relationship. But , if something is too good to be true, it''s probably not true...... So I lost him..........When I kept pressuring him to tell me what went wrong, he finally admit that he didn''t find the chemistry between us anymore. However, later on, I found out it was because he found someone else in town. She''s local, she''s so convenience .She has her advantage.
He didnt'' want to deal with the distance, even though I had offered him that I would move there with him when we would get married . Anyway, I just want to let you know that I feel the pain you''re going through. For my case, it hurt me more because we had it going on for 2 years and 6 months. When we were ready to go down the road of marriage, he backed out and dated someone else , lied to me and didn''t have the back bone to tell me. He kept me wondering what had I done wrong that he seemed fading away. The last time I came to see him before we broke up, I could totally sense the different. He hugged me but looked somewhere else, I caught his eyes and I asked him " so you''re hugging me and thinking about someone else? " He was like " No way baby, you are being ridiculous, I was wondering how soon will I be able to hold you like this again" He lied to me, he played with my emotions. I rather for him to tell me the truth before he was dating the other girl. I rather for him to tell me up front that he didn''t feel the love there anymore, so that I could move on. But it was like that for a good 6 months, and when I found out, he shamelessly admited that he fell out of love but didn''t want to hurt me. What does he mean? He hurt me more this way, but oh well, he will never get it. I don''t hate him for not loving me anymore, I hate him for not telling me what''s his true feeling was..I hate him for making me love him and thinking of him as a God everyday and nights, making me miserable. Now I''m getting through my days slowly, it''s so painful, but I''m making progress everyday. I''m doing fine, really. I have my whole life ahead of me and in the end, it''s his loss, not mine, for not loving me. I gave him my love but he took it for granted. He won''t be able to get what I have to offer anymore. Samething for you, Chau didn''t know what''s he missing..... You''ll meet someone better who truly appreciates your love.
Good luck to you sis....

Hi 5plus6sense,
Sorry to hear that it didn''t work out for you. I know exactly how you feel. I was in a two years -long distance relationship with my "used to be honey, sweetie, pumpkin, lover" I thought everthing went fine because he never told me he feels anything different. He loved me, pampered me, took care of me whenever he visited me. He gave me the biggest hope that we''re the greatest couple in the world. We even talked about marriage, and our plans, our future together. All of the sudden, he started to fade away, I didn''t know what I was doing wrong. I kept asking him but he kept avoiding it. I sensed something wrong but he didn''t tell me. He said I was overracted and being ridiculous. However, I found out he was dating someone else for a period of the last 6 months of our relationship. So, in order words, he was dating someone but didn''t have the guts to tell me. I was shock, hurt and disappointed. In my mind, he was the perfect man in this imperfect world. I loved him and felt so secure being with him. I trusted him, never had any doubts about our relationship. But , if something is too good to be true, it''s probably not true...... So I lost him..........When I kept pressuring him to tell me what went wrong, he finally admit that he didn''t find the chemistry between us anymore. However, later on, I found out it was because he found someone else in town. She''s local, she''s so convenience .She has her advantage.
He didnt'' want to deal with the distance, even though I had offered him that I would move there with him when we would get married . Anyway, I just want to let you know that I feel the pain you''re going through. For my case, it hurt me more because we had it going on for 2 years and 6 months. When we were ready to go down the road of marriage, he backed out and dated someone else , lied to me and didn''t have the back bone to tell me. He kept me wondering what had I done wrong that he seemed fading away. The last time I came to see him before we broke up, I could totally sense the different. He hugged me but looked somewhere else, I caught his eyes and I asked him " so you''re hugging me and thinking about someone else? " He was like " No way baby, you are being ridiculous, I was wondering how soon will I be able to hold you like this again" He lied to me, he played with my emotions. I rather for him to tell me the truth before he was dating the other girl. I rather for him to tell me up front that he didn''t feel the love there anymore, so that I could move on. But it was like that for a good 6 months, and when I found out, he shamelessly admited that he fell out of love but didn''t want to hurt me. What does he mean? He hurt me more this way, but oh well, he will never get it. I don''t hate him for not loving me anymore, I hate him for not telling me what''s his true feeling was..I hate him for making me love him and thinking of him as a God everyday and nights, making me miserable. Now I''m getting through my days slowly, it''s so painful, but I''m making progress everyday. I''m doing fine, really. I have my whole life ahead of me and in the end, it''s his loss, not mine, for not loving me. I gave him my love but he took it for granted. He won''t be able to get what I have to offer anymore. Samething for you, Chau didn''t know what''s he missing..... You''ll meet someone better who truly appreciates your love.
Good luck to you sis....