Chia sẻ đôi dòng nhật ký

thanx for the song little sis , seems like I have had a quite clear goal for my life already...but now I''m kind of exhausted while on my way reaching that goal. Stresses are everywhere, at house, on the road, in the class...everywhere. I think I have one friend like those you mentioned (you know, I met him via Internet, and he''s a mod of IAT like me)...but to be honestly, he gets much more trouble than I have. And everytime we meet, only wine makes us talk about our troubles since in "normal" con***ion, we both afraid or just dont like to talk about it. In this way, you have thing in common with us "yet my problem was that I never dared tell them what I''''m feeling inside" ^_^
umm, maybe you right when said that I''m not courageous enough to open my heart...but, should we open our heart for some unworthy people??? Those who only pretent that they''re treating me good while stabbing their knife right on my back ???
Sure it''s good to have a friend...or some...to talk to, but it makes me sick ,times after times when I lay my feelings on some one I think I can rely on, sooner or later they pissed me off with their ****ty "pathetic" gestures...

Heh, guess I have to go to learn how to justify people more accurately
You know I'm a dreamerMy heart's like an open bookFor the whole world to readAnd when things went rightIt doesn't mean they were always wrong...
Somtimes nothing--keeps me togetherAt the seams...

thanx for the song little sis , seems like I have had a quite clear goal for my life already...but now I''m kind of exhausted while on my way reaching that goal. Stresses are everywhere, at house, on the road, in the class...everywhere. I think I have one friend like those you mentioned (you know, I met him via Internet, and he''s a mod of IAT like me)...but to be honestly, he gets much more trouble than I have. And everytime we meet, only wine makes us talk about our troubles since in "normal" con***ion, we both afraid or just dont like to talk about it. In this way, you have thing in common with us "yet my problem was that I never dared tell them what I''''m feeling inside" ^_^
umm, maybe you right when said that I''m not courageous enough to open my heart...but, should we open our heart for some unworthy people??? Those who only pretent that they''re treating me good while stabbing their knife right on my back ???
Sure it''s good to have a friend...or some...to talk to, but it makes me sick ,times after times when I lay my feelings on some one I think I can rely on, sooner or later they pissed me off with their ****ty "pathetic" gestures...

Heh, guess I have to go to learn how to justify people more accurately
You know I'm a dreamerMy heart's like an open bookFor the whole world to readAnd when things went rightIt doesn't mean they were always wrong...
Somtimes nothing--keeps me togetherAt the seams...

"There''s no need for you to say you''re sorry
Goodbye I''m going home
I don''t care no more so don''t you worry
Goodbye I''m going home
I hate the way that even though you
Know you''re wrong you say you''re right
I hate the books you read and all your friends
Your music''s ****e it keeps me up all night
And it will be nice to be alone
For a week or two
But I know that I will be
Right back here with you
...."
anyway the song doesnt coincide with the mood, just turn it on thou.
still there will be times we scream tha songs like heck together eh
see, that s the way it is when ppl grow up, that s usual, it used to be so nice when tha 3 gals could be w/ each other, but now when u grow up you prefer spendin the time w/ eh uhm,,, i knew this time when i told you i wouldnt go, you werent that mad as u used to cuz uh this time u have some accompany, eii so that s fine, i know, just same here, if i were you i would just feel and want the same, wish you nice time then. will u tell us how the time goes can hardly imagine. "Do whatever u feel like doing" is ur guideline rite, very childish, impulsive n, well admirable.
u know, she was convincin me to go this whole morning, n i was thinkin of some great fun that encouraged me a lot. she joined it n excited she was, so she must hav been upset then, she waz so cold sayin no cuz she doesnt want to bother the, k, call it the 2 couples. This gal is cold n nice, occasionally do i find any gal who can handle stuffs as easily as the way she does. If i were her, i would hate the idea a lot, jesus!!! down-to-earth is the word for her, very positive in meaning i mean if i get it right.
still i remember when u wrote abt me on ur own-created wsite, u say that im selfish, like the western ppl, n u just said it isnt either good or bad and what else, Im a Ms complicated. Rite, more n more i can say it s acute judgements of you on me.
,,,i just talked again,, is it totally gone, i just hate that kind of fading away,,did i sound indifferent, I am the cause, too. I make it. Is there anythin that always remains the same as its right from the start?
-kat-
UTurnAwayWhenICaptureUrGlance

"There''s no need for you to say you''re sorry
Goodbye I''m going home
I don''t care no more so don''t you worry
Goodbye I''m going home
I hate the way that even though you
Know you''re wrong you say you''re right
I hate the books you read and all your friends
Your music''s ****e it keeps me up all night
And it will be nice to be alone
For a week or two
But I know that I will be
Right back here with you
...."
anyway the song doesnt coincide with the mood, just turn it on thou.
still there will be times we scream tha songs like heck together eh
see, that s the way it is when ppl grow up, that s usual, it used to be so nice when tha 3 gals could be w/ each other, but now when u grow up you prefer spendin the time w/ eh uhm,,, i knew this time when i told you i wouldnt go, you werent that mad as u used to cuz uh this time u have some accompany, eii so that s fine, i know, just same here, if i were you i would just feel and want the same, wish you nice time then. will u tell us how the time goes can hardly imagine. "Do whatever u feel like doing" is ur guideline rite, very childish, impulsive n, well admirable.
u know, she was convincin me to go this whole morning, n i was thinkin of some great fun that encouraged me a lot. she joined it n excited she was, so she must hav been upset then, she waz so cold sayin no cuz she doesnt want to bother the, k, call it the 2 couples. This gal is cold n nice, occasionally do i find any gal who can handle stuffs as easily as the way she does. If i were her, i would hate the idea a lot, jesus!!! down-to-earth is the word for her, very positive in meaning i mean if i get it right.
still i remember when u wrote abt me on ur own-created wsite, u say that im selfish, like the western ppl, n u just said it isnt either good or bad and what else, Im a Ms complicated. Rite, more n more i can say it s acute judgements of you on me.
,,,i just talked again,, is it totally gone, i just hate that kind of fading away,,did i sound indifferent, I am the cause, too. I make it. Is there anythin that always remains the same as its right from the start?
-kat-
UTurnAwayWhenICaptureUrGlance

I told my friends about a. Châu. I told them everything. I think I''m lucky to have friends like them. They are supportive, and they are funny, too. Guess what they told me when anh Châu and I couldn''t connect outside. They said, "May mắn cho you đó Hương. Chứ không mai mốt về ổng bắt you phải đi "tan" da thì khổ. You khoái da trắng mà" haha....
Yeah, I like fair skin, and my skin is really fair. And also when people look at me, they think I needs lots of protection and attention. It''s true I need lots of attention. I''m the youngest in the house, and I''m spoiled. But I can be strong, really strong if I want to. And I''m stubborn.
It''s funny that I like Hải, and a. Châu. And they both are the sportive type of men. I still remember the first time I went with Hải to play baseball. I stood in the shadow to avoid the sun, while Hải was out playing. He looked so manly. I remember him in his white T-shirt and shorts, with his sunglasses on. He captivated me.
When I first knew Hải, at that time I didn''t play any kind of sport. My hobby was stay up late, watching video, and woke up real late in the morning. I still remember once, Hải woke me up in the morning. He said, "Giờ Hải đi chơi thể thao nè. Mun dậy chưa. Hải muốn Mun đi tập thể thao." I felt the care in his voice. And the first time, I surrendered.
I took tennis classes, and then swimming classes. Only a few months later, I could swim, and I went swimming every day. Sometimes, I even went swimming in the afternoon when the sun was highest. And I turned real black. My skin was real tanned. I didn''t see Hải for a long time, and one day, he came see me. I still remember he looked at me, and he couldn''t open his mouth. i felt he was embarrassed.
Later when I went to the US, and Hải went to Sing. Every time, he called me, he asked, "Mun có tập thể thao không? Mun có mập không?" I know he likes me to gain weight. He told me he like women with muscles. But he like my fair skin.
When I knew anh Châu, once he told me he worked in the garden all day, and I asked him if he wore sunblock. Then he said, "What? No, never, I like my tan". haha
Then I said, "No, you wear sunblock to protect your skin from UVA/UVB, not keep it white".
The first time I saw anh Châu, I felt kinda strange. But then when I looked into his eyes, I felt so close. I loved his eyes. I remember when we went around up in San Francisco, once we were standing waiting for the light to turn green to cross the street. People in front of me crossed the street even though the light hadn''t turned yet, and I just followed suit. At that time, suddenly, anh Châu reached out and held me back. He screamed, "What are you doing? Don''t just follow others. Only cross the street when it''s green."
I have to say he stirred up a lot of feelings in me. When I was with him, I wanted to be protected. I felt mad because he didn''t give me enough attention.
But I don''t know if I love him yet.

I told my friends about a. Châu. I told them everything. I think I''m lucky to have friends like them. They are supportive, and they are funny, too. Guess what they told me when anh Châu and I couldn''t connect outside. They said, "May mắn cho you đó Hương. Chứ không mai mốt về ổng bắt you phải đi "tan" da thì khổ. You khoái da trắng mà" haha....
Yeah, I like fair skin, and my skin is really fair. And also when people look at me, they think I needs lots of protection and attention. It''s true I need lots of attention. I''m the youngest in the house, and I''m spoiled. But I can be strong, really strong if I want to. And I''m stubborn.
It''s funny that I like Hải, and a. Châu. And they both are the sportive type of men. I still remember the first time I went with Hải to play baseball. I stood in the shadow to avoid the sun, while Hải was out playing. He looked so manly. I remember him in his white T-shirt and shorts, with his sunglasses on. He captivated me.
When I first knew Hải, at that time I didn''t play any kind of sport. My hobby was stay up late, watching video, and woke up real late in the morning. I still remember once, Hải woke me up in the morning. He said, "Giờ Hải đi chơi thể thao nè. Mun dậy chưa. Hải muốn Mun đi tập thể thao." I felt the care in his voice. And the first time, I surrendered.
I took tennis classes, and then swimming classes. Only a few months later, I could swim, and I went swimming every day. Sometimes, I even went swimming in the afternoon when the sun was highest. And I turned real black. My skin was real tanned. I didn''t see Hải for a long time, and one day, he came see me. I still remember he looked at me, and he couldn''t open his mouth. i felt he was embarrassed.
Later when I went to the US, and Hải went to Sing. Every time, he called me, he asked, "Mun có tập thể thao không? Mun có mập không?" I know he likes me to gain weight. He told me he like women with muscles. But he like my fair skin.
When I knew anh Châu, once he told me he worked in the garden all day, and I asked him if he wore sunblock. Then he said, "What? No, never, I like my tan". haha
Then I said, "No, you wear sunblock to protect your skin from UVA/UVB, not keep it white".
The first time I saw anh Châu, I felt kinda strange. But then when I looked into his eyes, I felt so close. I loved his eyes. I remember when we went around up in San Francisco, once we were standing waiting for the light to turn green to cross the street. People in front of me crossed the street even though the light hadn''t turned yet, and I just followed suit. At that time, suddenly, anh Châu reached out and held me back. He screamed, "What are you doing? Don''t just follow others. Only cross the street when it''s green."
I have to say he stirred up a lot of feelings in me. When I was with him, I wanted to be protected. I felt mad because he didn''t give me enough attention.
But I don''t know if I love him yet.

Today I think rather differently from yesterday. I think each of us can find many people that we "match". Anh Châu has taught me a very important thing in relationship: love has no boundaries. As long as we are open and willing to accept differences, everything is possible.
I have to say a. Châu has the qualities that I''m looking for in my possible partner. I still want to keep him as a friend, coz who knows, maybe sometime in the future, if we have another chance to see again....
But I''m going out meeting new people and making new friends. One never knows......

Today I think rather differently from yesterday. I think each of us can find many people that we "match". Anh Châu has taught me a very important thing in relationship: love has no boundaries. As long as we are open and willing to accept differences, everything is possible.
I have to say a. Châu has the qualities that I''m looking for in my possible partner. I still want to keep him as a friend, coz who knows, maybe sometime in the future, if we have another chance to see again....
But I''m going out meeting new people and making new friends. One never knows......

had some drink with an old friend last night, made me remember of MLTR song: Drunk again but that''s all right....
realizing that things are not that bad as it seems
become a little more optimistic this morning
time could change somebody...but not me...guess I have to go on...CHEERS
...Paranoid...Insane...Mad...Schizophrenic...

had some drink with an old friend last night, made me remember of MLTR song: Drunk again but that''s all right....
realizing that things are not that bad as it seems
become a little more optimistic this morning
time could change somebody...but not me...guess I have to go on...CHEERS
...Paranoid...Insane...Mad...Schizophrenic...