Chia sẻ đôi dòng nhật ký

Mon Oct 20
As schedule today you will go on business. Yesterday I thought & decided to call you next morning. 8.30am, I called to your HP, you said you now prepared to go. I found your voice seem not nice. So I said " Thanks for your gift" ( My god, I felt as we were playing a clumsy drama), and I said that because you talked nothing on the last morning, so I didn''t know that you would come last night.I felt that you breathed so long, but said nothing. Then we finished our conversation.

Mon Oct 20
As schedule today you will go on business. Yesterday I thought & decided to call you next morning. 8.30am, I called to your HP, you said you now prepared to go. I found your voice seem not nice. So I said " Thanks for your gift" ( My god, I felt as we were playing a clumsy drama), and I said that because you talked nothing on the last morning, so I didn''t know that you would come last night.I felt that you breathed so long, but said nothing. Then we finished our conversation.

I''ve got it all, but I feel so deprived. I go up, I come down and I''m emptier inside. Tell me what is this thing that I feel like I''m missing? And why can''t I let it go? There''s gotta be more to life... than chasing down every temporary high to satisfy me. Cause the more that I''m trippin'' out thinkin'' there must be more to life. Well it''s life, but I''m sure... there''s gotta be morê? I''ve got the time and I''m wasting it slowly. Here in this moment I''m half-way out the door. Onto the next thing, I''m searching for something that''s missing. I''m always waiting on something other than this. Why am I feelin'' like there''s something I missed.... always... always...
So close no matter how far... I have you in my heart and nothing else matters...

I''ve got it all, but I feel so deprived. I go up, I come down and I''m emptier inside. Tell me what is this thing that I feel like I''m missing? And why can''t I let it go? There''s gotta be more to life... than chasing down every temporary high to satisfy me. Cause the more that I''m trippin'' out thinkin'' there must be more to life. Well it''s life, but I''m sure... there''s gotta be morê? I''ve got the time and I''m wasting it slowly. Here in this moment I''m half-way out the door. Onto the next thing, I''m searching for something that''s missing. I''m always waiting on something other than this. Why am I feelin'' like there''s something I missed.... always... always...
So close no matter how far... I have you in my heart and nothing else matters...

Tues Oct 21
We not contact. It was OK,if you did like this.
Tonigh I didn''t undestand myself , I hate you, I hate you ,why you did not call to me, but I also missed you so much.
" D , What are you doing now ? Do you miss me ? ". I felt lonely & sad today. You were far from me now.

Tues Oct 21
We not contact. It was OK,if you did like this.
Tonigh I didn''t undestand myself , I hate you, I hate you ,why you did not call to me, but I also missed you so much.
" D , What are you doing now ? Do you miss me ? ". I felt lonely & sad today. You were far from me now.

So it happened yesterday. I knew it would happen someday, but didn''t know it could happen to soon. And I didn''t feel sad after all. Just a little bit empty. I''ve been too sensitive these days, and now I want to be unemotional. Or at least pretend to be so.
Yeah I''m shallow...
õ?Âõ?Âõ?Â
Free as a bird, wild as the wind...
õ?Âõ?Âõ?Â

So it happened yesterday. I knew it would happen someday, but didn''t know it could happen to soon. And I didn''t feel sad after all. Just a little bit empty. I''ve been too sensitive these days, and now I want to be unemotional. Or at least pretend to be so.
Yeah I''m shallow...
õ?Âõ?Âõ?Â
Free as a bird, wild as the wind...
õ?Âõ?Âõ?Â

anotha day has almost gone
Didnt hav to take tha first class today, so got one more hour for sleep. It was rainin for abt 10 mins this morning, lovely, enough to get ppl put on raincoats. The copy of translation assigned this time was tough, didnt make it in written form, waz lazy n tired, lucky that kat waznt called for reading any lil part or else i would say i give up. Hah last tues i got 2 chocs frm Ms Diane, piece of cake, dont know how come ppl didnt raise their hand to win the chocs (one got peanuts), just stand up n read loud the article given, nothing would be easier!!
So finally printed out the 2 assignments, had them bound up, looked not too bad n didnt cost as much as i expected.
waz abt to go to the libra this afternoon after nappin for while cuz i got heaps of accountancy exercises to do, im in flood of it, awwh god bless me plzz, but too bad, waznt up til the phone rang, waz lyin in bed like an insect n wanted to ignore it but it rang for abt 3 mins, gossh, had to work my body then. It waz Quyen, suggested goin for a swim, she said a girl had to squeeze out her month ticket so she asked us to join, good, long time no swim, nice stuff to do on such these days-the very start of winter. So fooled around the pool for abt 2 hrs in late afternoon, nice thou heavy traffic at the pool, jezus, easy to be bumped into. ooohla i waz a true mermaid, waz swimmin for the length of 4 rounds of the pool at one attempt only.
how stupid, waz abt to see him in the eve cuz bday!!! called several times at tha pool so that i could drop by for while on the way home to wish for tha day, but no answer, didnt want to come back home n asked parents for goin out again, n then when able to be in touch, ehh, how very nice!! No available at home but at a friend''s, and were like ehh "how abt seein tomorrow or the day after", man, where s the sense in tomorrow or days later, should be on the day okay. And actually i will be tied up, plan on already n hav loads to do. thnx god i didnt plan to much. Anyway i myself went deliver the gift already, will like it rite cuz it s the nicest thing i can pick up, n for me it makes more sense to be on the day! Misaki sounds a lil upset when i called, she dropped in when i waznt home, since when she just comes w/o call in advance!!
huhm, i should be doing some drawing now, i need some charts as visual aid for my presentation next Mon, but cannot manage at the moment, weary, just enough energy to memorize the day n do some nonsense typing like this. Huh shame on me!! as usual, me always put off whateva can be put off, laziness has been intimate buddy. I do wish i got the power to handle skool stuffs w/ entire interest n passion. awwh, but thinkin of the teacher in charge of grading our presentation, i lose the whole inspiration to make a good preparation. okay work hard on weekends, there s no other way.
tomorrow s coming, also hallowe''en, n on friday, ohh n we ll see rite, how many days, 5 rite, yeah rite after 5, who waits for tha day!
Im gonna deliver a ''speech'' on handling conflict but am in conflict, intrapersonal one.
I dont want to think abt it but i think abt it.
-kat-
UTurnAwayWhenICaptureUrGlance

anotha day has almost gone
Didnt hav to take tha first class today, so got one more hour for sleep. It was rainin for abt 10 mins this morning, lovely, enough to get ppl put on raincoats. The copy of translation assigned this time was tough, didnt make it in written form, waz lazy n tired, lucky that kat waznt called for reading any lil part or else i would say i give up. Hah last tues i got 2 chocs frm Ms Diane, piece of cake, dont know how come ppl didnt raise their hand to win the chocs (one got peanuts), just stand up n read loud the article given, nothing would be easier!!
So finally printed out the 2 assignments, had them bound up, looked not too bad n didnt cost as much as i expected.
waz abt to go to the libra this afternoon after nappin for while cuz i got heaps of accountancy exercises to do, im in flood of it, awwh god bless me plzz, but too bad, waznt up til the phone rang, waz lyin in bed like an insect n wanted to ignore it but it rang for abt 3 mins, gossh, had to work my body then. It waz Quyen, suggested goin for a swim, she said a girl had to squeeze out her month ticket so she asked us to join, good, long time no swim, nice stuff to do on such these days-the very start of winter. So fooled around the pool for abt 2 hrs in late afternoon, nice thou heavy traffic at the pool, jezus, easy to be bumped into. ooohla i waz a true mermaid, waz swimmin for the length of 4 rounds of the pool at one attempt only.
how stupid, waz abt to see him in the eve cuz bday!!! called several times at tha pool so that i could drop by for while on the way home to wish for tha day, but no answer, didnt want to come back home n asked parents for goin out again, n then when able to be in touch, ehh, how very nice!! No available at home but at a friend''s, and were like ehh "how abt seein tomorrow or the day after", man, where s the sense in tomorrow or days later, should be on the day okay. And actually i will be tied up, plan on already n hav loads to do. thnx god i didnt plan to much. Anyway i myself went deliver the gift already, will like it rite cuz it s the nicest thing i can pick up, n for me it makes more sense to be on the day! Misaki sounds a lil upset when i called, she dropped in when i waznt home, since when she just comes w/o call in advance!!
huhm, i should be doing some drawing now, i need some charts as visual aid for my presentation next Mon, but cannot manage at the moment, weary, just enough energy to memorize the day n do some nonsense typing like this. Huh shame on me!! as usual, me always put off whateva can be put off, laziness has been intimate buddy. I do wish i got the power to handle skool stuffs w/ entire interest n passion. awwh, but thinkin of the teacher in charge of grading our presentation, i lose the whole inspiration to make a good preparation. okay work hard on weekends, there s no other way.
tomorrow s coming, also hallowe''en, n on friday, ohh n we ll see rite, how many days, 5 rite, yeah rite after 5, who waits for tha day!
Im gonna deliver a ''speech'' on handling conflict but am in conflict, intrapersonal one.
I dont want to think abt it but i think abt it.
-kat-
UTurnAwayWhenICaptureUrGlance