CLB Tiếng Anh BE - Nơi hội tụ của những người Việt trẻ năng động, sáng tạo và chuyên nghiệp - "TẦNG

Bi hài chuyện lấy chồng Hàn Quốc
"Xem phim Hàn Quốc, thấy đàn ông xứ họ dù nghèo hay giàu, đều đẹp trai, lãng mạn, hiếu thảo, nên em lên TP HCM đăng ký học, hy vọng kiếm được tấm chồng như thế", Linh - học viên tiếng Hàn tại một trung tâm ngoại ngữ chia sẻ.
> Gá thân mong đổi đời nơi xứ Hàn/ Chợ ''coi mắt'' cho trai Hàn
Linh quê Cần Thơ, năm nay 24 tuổi, mới học hết lớp 4, nhưng có thể đọc vanh cách tên các ngôi sao điện ảnh nước Hàn và một loạt địa danh nổi tiếng của xứ sở kim chi như Seoul, Busan, Daegu, Jeju... Linh khoe trước khi lên TP HCM học ngoại ngữ cô đã biết chào tiếng Hàn, nhờ xem nhiều phim truyền hình của họ.
Nhà Linh có bốn chị em gái đã lập gia đình, nhưng chồng đều nghèo túng, các anh rể lại thường xuyên rượu chè và đánh vợ. "Nếu ở quê thì em cũng chẳng khá hơn, rồi cũng phải lấy chồng, biết đâu lại gặp một ông chồng như các chị gái. Vậy sao không thử vận may ở xứ Hàn?", Linh nói.
Giống như Linh, cô gái quê Vĩnh Long tên Xuyến, đang tìm hiểu thủ tục đăng ký kết bạn tại Trung tâm tư vấn hỗ trợ kết hôn nước ngoài - Hội LHPN Việt Nam TP HCM. Lý do thích làm dâu xứ Hàn của cô là vì qua phim, thấy "phong cảnh bên đó đẹp, còn cuộc sống thật bình yên. Hơn nữa, gia đình em cũng nghèo, mong qua đó lấy được người chồng giàu có, cùng phụ giúp gia đình", Xuyến nói.
Các cô gái tham gia thi "tuyển vợ" trong một quán karaoke. Ảnh: N.H.
Đối với Lựu, cô gái Tiền Giang 22 tuổi, thì theo đuổi mục đích lấy chồng ở xứ sở kim chi để "mở mang kiến thức". Lựu cho biết đã tốt nghiệp trung cấp nghề tại tỉnh Tiền Giang nhưng luôn khao khát du học nước ngoài. "Gia đình quá nghèo, năng lực bản thân em lại khó có thể tự kiếm học bổng. Nếu lấy chồng Hàn Quốc, sang bên đó sinh sống, em sẽ có môi trường học tiếng Hàn, có cơ hội tìm hiểu, học tập thêm", Lựu hào hứng nói về kế hoạch.
Một cán bộ phòng Cảnh sát điều tra tội phạm về trật tự xã hội, Công an TP HCM cũng chia sẻ về một tình huống "cười ra nước mắt" trong lần bắt một đường dây môi giới hôn nhân trái phép. Khi bị gọi lại lấy lời khai, cô gái 18 tuổi tham gia thi tuyển, khóc như mưa rồi nài nỉ: "Xin các anh đừng bỏ tù em, em không làm gì phạm pháp, em bị người ta đưa đến đây"...
Lúc biết mình chỉ bị nhắc nhở, giáo dục để về quê, cô gái quệt nước mắt, cười tươi rói. "Em chỉ ao ước được đi máy bay một lần cho biết", cô gái bẽn lẽn thổ lộ về lý do muốn "xuất ngoại".
Cũng bị cảnh sát "hỏi thăm" khi một đường dây môi giới kết hôn bị khám phá, cô gái đến từ Cà Mau hồn nhiên tiết lộ, đã tham dự 3 cuộc tuyển chọn rồi nhưng đều thất bại. Sau lần "thi rớt" đầu tiên, cô sợ hàng xóm xì xào nên đã lên thành phố làm may nhưng ước mơ lấy được một ông chồng Hàn Quốc vẫn luôn thúc giục. Viễn cảnh về cuộc sống sung sướng như người chị họ đã khiến cô quyết định lại tham gia "thi tuyển".
"Lần này, em được chọn, đinh ninh đã lấy được chồng ngoại, ai ngờ lại bị công an bắt vào phút cuối. Giờ em biết liên lạc với ông ấy thế nào đây...", cô gái nức nở.
Trong lần khác, Phòng Cảnh sát điều tra tội phạm về trật tự xã hội, Công an thành phố, tiếp nhận trường hợp hai mẹ con cô dâu tố cáo người chồng mới cưới lừa đảo. Theo lời cô gái này, cô vừa là người chiến thắng, "lọt" vào mắt xanh của người đàn ông Hàn Quốc hơn 40 tuổi trong cuộc "thi tuyển vợ" cách đó vài ngày. Nhưng chỉ sau 2 hôm ở với nhau, ông chồng đã vơ hết vòng vàng, nhẫn cưới của cô và biến mất.
Cô yêu cầu công an phải buộc tên chủ môi giới đền lại tài sản cho cô. Dĩ nhiên, trong cuộc đối chất sau đó, tay "cò" này từ chối đòi hỏi trên và tiết lộ lý do chú rể "cao chạy xa bay" vì phát hiện ra cô dâu này từng mổ u nang, sợ không có khả năng sinh con.

VÌ SAO Họ LấY CHồNG HÀN QUốC, ĐÀI LOAN?
Phận ?ovợ chọn?: May nhờ rủi chịu
05-05-2007 09:29:30 GMT +7
Ông T.V.T trong ngôi nhà đầy đủ tiện nghi, do hai cô con gái lấy chồng Hàn gửi tiền về giúp
Chúng tôi đặt chân đến vùng sông nước ĐBSCL những ngày đầu tháng 5. Sau một thời gian trở lại, những xã vùng ven như Thuận Hưng, Kiên Trung, Tân Lộc (huyện Thốt Nốt), xã Vĩnh Trinh (huyện Vĩnh Thạnh) - những nơi có tỉ lệ thôn nữ lấy chồng ngoại cao nhất nhì tỉnh Cần Thơ- đã thay da đổi thịt rất nhiều, đường sá, nhà cửa khang trang hơn. Một cán bộ địa phương cho biết: ?oĐó là kết quả báo hiếu của những cô gái lấy chồng xa hằng tháng gửi tiền về cho bố mẹ?.
Lấy chồng để cải thiện kinh tế
Vào thời điểm mùa khô, việc đi lại ở vùng sông nước thuận lợi hơn, các chàng ?orể ngoại? vào VN tìm vợ theo đường du lịch có xu hướng tăng, thôn nữ được các bà mối săn lùng ráo riết.
Trao đổi với chúng tôi, ông Phan Văn Tùng, Phó Chủ tịch UBND xã Thuận Hưng, cho biết: ?oNơi đây, đời sống vẫn còn rất nhiều khó khăn, nhiều gia đình thuần nông nhưng không có đất canh tác, chủ yếu sống bằng nghề làm mướn. Xã vẫn còn đến 10% hộ nghèo. Và trong số hộ ấy, hễ nhà nào có con gái đều ao ước cải thiện kinh tế bằng cách gả con sang xứ người?.
Khi các cô gái trẻ đang nuôi giấc mơ ?ochồng ngoại? bị săm soi thân thể trong một số đường dây môi giới kết hôn bất hợp pháp, thì ở quê các bậc phụ huynh vẫn luôn cầu trời cho con gái họ được đổi đời
Ở nông thôn, việc ?obán mặt cho đất bán lưng cho trời? quanh quẩn cả năm may ra mới đủ ăn đã khiến không ít bậc cha mẹ xiêu lòng trước viễn cảnh giàu sang mà bà mối thường vẽ nên cho họ. Vả lại, một thực trạng buồn là nam, nữ thanh niên nông thôn thường không có điều kiện học tập, nghề nghiệp bấp bênh, thu nhập không ổn định, đôi nào xây mộng đẹp với ?omột túp lều tranh, hai trái tim vàng? thì cuộc sống vẫn thường xuyên lục đục vì túng thiếu. Nhiều thôn nữ mới lớn, nhìn xung quanh mà... ngán ngại trai làng. Không ai bảo ai, nhưng tâm lý, thôi thì lấy chồng ngoại vừa giúp được gia đình vừa... may ra đổi đời, đã hình thành.
Hai cô con gái ông T.V.T ở xã Thuận Hưng đã hiện thực hóa giấc mơ của mình. Mới lấy chồng Hàn Quốc chưa đầy 2 năm nhưng hai cô đã gửi tiền giúp cha mẹ cất được một căn nhà khang trang trên 100 triệu đồng và mua sắm đầy đủ tiện nghi sinh hoạt. Trở về thăm cha mẹ, hai cô đã rủ thêm cháu gái sang xứ Hàn làm dâu.
Cũng nằm trong số những thôn nữ may mắn, là gia đình ông Ng.V.Nh ở ấp Tân Phước 1. Từ ngày có con sang xứ sở kim chi lấy chồng, ông đã cất được ngôi nhà đẹp, mua xe máy từ số tiền con gửi về. Ông Phan Văn Tùng cũng cho biết thêm, nhiều thôn nữ lấy chồng Hàn Quốc có cuộc sống ổn định, mỗi quý đã gửi về nhà giúp cha mẹ được 30 - 40 triệu đồng, có cô gửi về cả trăm triệu đồng.
Kẻ khóc, người cười
Câu cửa miệng: ?oBà mai ăn một lần, gia đình ăn cả đời? đã trở nên quen thuộc ở những gia đình có con lấy chồng ngoại. Nếu như nhiều vụ mai mối bất hợp pháp bị phanh phui ở TPHCM, người môi giới phải hoạt động lén lút thì ở vùng sông nước này bà mai (có thể là tú bà) vẫn xuất hiện và săn tìm thôn nữ. Theo bà Lý Thị Kim Cương, cán bộ Hội Phụ nữ xã Tân Lộc: ?oĐiều kiện thông tin ở đây còn hạn chế nên nhiều gia đình có con em lên TP cho người ta ?oxem mặt? vẫn chưa biết chuyện gì đang xảy ra. Hội đã nhiều lần tổ chức tuyên truyền vận động các gia đình, chị em nhưng hiệu quả chưa cao vì kinh tế khó khăn và lấy chồng ngoại đã thành phong trào?.
Cũng theo bà Cương, đa số những cô gái lấy chồng ngoại quốc có cuộc sống ổn định trở về, sẽ tìm vợ giúp cho đối tượng mà họ quen biết. Và thường là chị em trong gia đình, dòng họ với nhau. Chính vì có hậu thuẫn từ trước nên tỉ lệ rủi ro ở những trường hợp này ít hơn. Những thôn nữ không quen biết ai mới rơi vào tay bà mối và chấp nhận ?omay nhờ rủi chịu?. Phận ?ovợ chọn? phải chịu vậy!
Một trong số những gia đình có con em xuất ngoại lấy chồng, có bà T.C ở ấp Tân Quới (xã Thuận Hưng) cho biết: ?oHọ hàng nhà tôi đã có trên 10 cháu lấy chồng Hàn Quốc, Đài Loan. Người có hạnh phúc, giúp được cha mẹ cũng nhiều mà trường hợp ?ocơm không lành canh chả ngọt? cũng có. Đó là lẽ thường của cuộc sống lứa đôi. Nếu nói gả con xa... sợ, thì gả con trong xóm mà không hạnh phúc, nhếch nhác còn đau lòng hơn?.
Theo Cục Thống kê Hàn Quốc, số cô dâu Việt Nam tại nước này hiện nay đã 11.000 người, tăng trung bình 74%/năm. Chú rể đa phần là nông dân và ngư dân. Thống kê tại Sở Tư pháp Cần Thơ cho thấy 79% các cô gái lấy chồng Hàn Quốc xuất thân từ những gia đình khó khăn, số còn lại do sở thích.
Kết quả của những cuộc xuất giá làm ?ovợ chọn?: 67% cô dâu lấy chồng Hàn Quốc đã giúp đỡ được gia đình, đời sống ổn định; có 18% trường hợp không hạnh phúc.

Further Reference in English:
Only 50-60% of Vietnamese brides happy in Korea
VietNamNet Bridge â?" Consecutively reported cases on Vietnamese brides who were maltreated in the Republic of Korea (RoK) has stirred up the public in Vietnam and the RoK. Vietnam Womenâ?Ts Union senior official, Cao Hong Van, talked about the situation and solutions for this matter.

Why have many family violence cases in the RoK with Vietnamese women as victims happened? Is there any statistic about family happiness of Vietnamese brides there?

According to the Vietnamese Embassy in the RoK, around 60% of Vietnamese brides in the RoK are happy. The figure, according to Korean agencies, is 50% only. The remaining Vietnamese women have unstable lives, face economic difficulties and are maltreated by their husbands.

I think one of the reasons causing difficulties of some Vietnamese women who get married to foreigners, including Korean men, is the two sides donâ?Tt know each other. The bridegrooms meet the brides at match-making centres and they accept their marriages without love, without communication, without understanding of culture and lifestyle of each others.

We have met brides who are beaten by their husbands and they didnâ?Tt know why they were beaten. The nature of marriages of this kind is a matter of luck.

What has the Vietnam Womenâ?Ts Union done to diminish risks for Vietnamese girls who want to get married to foreigners?

We have requested that local womenâ?Ts union branches establish legal assistance centres to help girls who want to get married to foreigners. The first centre of this kind was set up in HCM City in 2003. Those centres are facing some difficulties like lacking personnel and money.

The people who work as advisors on marriages with foreigners at those centres must at least have knowledge about the law and culture of the related countries but many staffs at those centres donâ?Tt know about those things.

We have worked with the Korean Ministry of Gender Equality and Family about solutions for maltreatment of Vietnamese brides in the RoK. We have also worked with the Vietnamese Embassy in the RoK to solve cases related to Vietnamese brides there.

For example, in the case of Huynh Mai, we asked the Vietnamese Embassy in the RoK to require the Korean side to investigate and sentence the Korean man who beat his wife to death.

In the past three years, Vietnamese girls have turned from marrying Taiwanese to Korean men. The rate of risk has also increased. Is it true that too little assistance activities make them not have enough information before deciding to marry foreigners?


There is a fact that we have opened assistance centres but not many girls come to those centres. It is because match-making agencies work very hard. RoK has around 1,500 match-making companies and they come to Vietnam to seek Vietnamese girls. They work fast because of huge profit. Normally, bridegroomâ?Ts families often pay $10,000-$15,000/wedding and match-making companies obtain half of this.

In Hai Phong city, the trend of getting married Korean men is developing. Each month nearly 200 girls come to the local assistance centre for consulting service. Some girls receive less than VND1 million ($60) for the ceremony and cheap wedding rings. However, they are still very determined to get married to foreigners. I think the major reason is still economics. They want to change their lives.

The Vietnam Womenâ?Ts Union on August 10 signed a $3.5 million project with a Korean partner to assist Vietnamese girls who want to marry Korean men. What are the main goals of this project and do you think that it is late to begin assisting girls?

This project will last for five years, aiming to provide knowledge and information for girls who want to or are about to marry Korean men. We will work with the Vietnamese Womenâ?Ts Cultural Centre in the RoK to assist Vietnamese brides. The Korean side will collect information about Korean bridegrooms while the Vietnamese side will seek information about the Vietnamese brides to exchange to each other.

Some short-term courses will be held, firstly for Vietnamese girls who will marry Korean men, and then for women who will get married to men of other nationalities.

They will be instructed in how to communicate and behave when they live with their husbands and their husbandsâ?T families, how to use family appliances, how to cook popular cuisines in the RoK, Korean customs and habits, the Korean law on marriage and family, and the addresses that they can call if they see any problem.

We will give priority to provinces where many girls get married to foreigners like in the Mekong Delta. Those assistance activities are not early but not too late.

Have we made any survey about foreign bridegrooms to provide for girls who want to marry foreigners to help them avoid having illusions?

Korean bridegrooms are mainly farmers. I know that gender selection also exists in the RoK so the number of men is more than women. Moreover, Korean girls tend to go to urban areas so it is difficult for rural men to seek wives. The number of single men of 30-50 years old is high and getting married to foreign girls is a real demand. However, information about bridegrooms is often wrong when it comes to Vietnamese girls.
AND MORE:
Tragedy of girls with foreign marriages
08:44'' 08/08/2007 (GMT+7)

A wedding party between a Vietnamese girl and a foreign man.

VietNamNet Bridge â?" Many girls in the Mekong Delta region consider getting married with foreigners as chances to change their lives. But many of them have to divorce and return home in pains.

Phuc Loc 1 hamlet in Trung Nhut commune, Thot Not district, Can Tho province has nearly 6,000 people and 56 girls who tided up foreigner, mainly Taiwanese and Korean men.

We came to a typical family there which has eight children. The fifth child told us that their family had 3,500sq.m of field but recently this area was cut down largely since they had to give land for irrigation works. They have to work as hired workers or do small trade to earn their living.

The eighth girl in the family named Pham My Phuong worked for her relative in HCM City. Next to the house of her relative is the house of a Taiwanese family. A Taiwanese man in this house, who is a mechanic fell in love with Phuong and married her.

After the wedding ceremony, Phuong began to study Chinese. After three months, she could speak some popular sentences of conversations and she went to Taiwan.

Phuong said that her husbandâ?Ts family is quite rich. Phuong lived with her husband and her mother-in-law. Her husband went to business from the morning to the evening and she stayed at home with the mother-in-law. Her job was cooking and taking care of the house only.

The life was quite easy for Phuong, except for one thing: she couldnâ?Tt speak to anybody. She studied some Chinese but thatâ?Ts popular Chinese while her mother speaks a local language.

Phuong and her mother-in-law couldnâ?Tt understand each other and gradually problems emerged.

Phuong wanted to learn many strange things in her husbandâ?Ts land but she couldnâ?Tt. Sometimes she tried to learn but her mother-in-law didnâ?Tt understand and she thought that Phuong intentionally roused her.

Phuongâ?Ts husband taught her some Chinese at the evening but her Chinese skills was not improved much because her husband couldnâ?Tt speak Vietnamese while her Chinese was very bad. This situation made the couple tired.

Phuong got married in 2003 and initially she often called home and sent money to her family but after a period of time, she called home more often to cry and complain.

Hai, Phuongâ?Ts elder brother said: â?oShe called home and told us that she wanted to divorce. My family was very worried for her. I told her to think carefully before making a decision. In 2005 she returned home with a divorce certification. Thatâ?Ts what she told us because the paper is in Chinese language that we donâ?Tt understandâ?.

â?oAt the beginning we loved each others very much and we tried at our best to overcome the cultural barrier but gradually we realised that we couldnâ?Tt deal with it,â? Phuong said.

â?oAll members in the family became tired. My husband then supported my mother-in-law to upraid me. It was so happy when I came to Taiwan and so sad when I returned,â? she added.

More than one year since she returned home, Phuongâ?Ts sadness was burnt out. Phuong met a friend of her fifth elder brother, a divorced man with two children, and they got married in April 2007. The couple now lives in Thot Not town with a small watch repairing shop.

An official of Phuc Loc 1 hamlet said that three girls who married foreigners have divorced and returned home. The cases of Phuong and those girls have made influences on girls who plan to seek a foreign husband.

Below is an article on New York Times in connection with our Topic:
Korean Men Use Brokers to Find Brides in Vietnam
HANOI, Vietnam ?" It was midnight here in Hanoi, or already 2 a.m. back in Seoul, South Korea. But after a five-hour flight on a recent Sunday, Kim Wan-su was driven straight from the airport to the Lucky Star karaoke bar here, where 23 young Vietnamese women seeking Korean husbands sat waiting in two dimly lighted rooms.
?oDo I have to look at them and decide now?? Mr. Kim asked, as the marriage brokers gave a brief description of each of the women sitting around a U-shaped sofa.
Thus, Mr. Kim, a 39-year-old auto parts worker from a suburb of Seoul, began the mildly chaotic, two-hour process of choosing a spouse. In a day or two, if his five-day marriage tour went according to plan, he would be wed and enjoying his honeymoon at the famed Perfume Pagoda on the Huong Tich Mountain southwest of here.
More and more South Korean men are finding wives outside of South Korea, where a surplus of bachelors, a lack of marriageable Korean partners and the rising social status of women have combined to shrink the domestic market for the marriage-minded male. Bachelors in China, India and other Asian nations, where the tra***ional preference for sons has created a disproportionate number of men now fighting over a smaller pool of women, are facing the same problem.
The rising status of women in the United States sent American men who were searching for more tra***ional wives to Russia in the 1990s. But the United States?T more balanced population has not led to the shortage of potential brides and the thriving international marriage industry found in South Korea.
Now, that industry is seizing on an increasingly globalized marriage market and sending comparatively affluent Korean bachelors searching for brides in the poorer corners of China and Southeast and Central Asia. The marriage tours are fueling an explosive growth in marriages to foreigners in South Korea, a country whose ethnic homogeneity lies at the core of its self-identity.
In 2005, marriages to foreigners accounted for 14 percent of all marriages in South Korea, up from 4 percent in 2000.
South Korean news organizations have reported that many of the foreign brides were initially lied to by their husbands, and suffered isolation and sometimes abuse in South Korea. Partly in response, the Ministry of Health and Welfare is now moving to regulate the international marriage industry, which emerged so suddenly that the Consumer Protection Board can only estimate that there are 2,000 to 3,000 such agencies nationwide.
After an initial setback ?" his first three choices found various reasons to decline his offer ?" Mr. Kim narrowed his field to a 22-year-old college student and an 18-year-old high school graduate.
?oWhat?Ts your personality like?? Mr. Kim asked the college student.
?oI?Tm an extrovert,? she said.
The 18-year-old asked why he wanted to marry a Vietnamese woman.
?oI have two colleagues who married Vietnamese women,? he said, adding, ?oThe women seem devoted and family-oriented.?
One Korean broker said the 22-year-old, who seemed bright and assertive, would adapt well to South Korea. Another suggested flipping a coin.
?oWell, since I?Tm quiet, I?Tll choose the extrovert,? Mr. Kim said finally, adding quickly, ?oIs it O.K. if I hold her hand now??
She went over to sit next to him, though neither dared to hold hands. She spelled out her name in her left palm: Vien. Her name was To Thi Vien.
In South Korea, billboards advertising marriages to foreigners dot the countryside, and fliers are scattered on the Seoul subway. Many rural governments, faced with declining populations, subsidize the marriage tours, which typically cost $10,000.
The business began in the late 1990s by matching South Korean farmers or the physically disabled mostly to ethnic Koreans in China, according to brokers and the Consumer Protection Board. But by 2003, the majority of customers were urban bachelors, and the foreign brides came from a host of countries.
The widespread availability of ***-screening technology for pregnant women since the 1980s has resulted in the birth of a disproportionate number of South Korean males. What is more, South Koreâ?Ts growing wealth has increased women?Ts educational and employment opportunities, even as it has led to rising divorce rates and plummeting birthrates.
?oNowadays, Korean women have higher standards,? said Lee Eun-tae, the owner of Interwedding, an agency that last year matched 400 Korean bachelors with brides from Vietnam, China, the Philippines, Mongolia, Thailand, Cambodia, Uzbekistan and Indonesia. ?oIf a man has only a high school degree, or lives with his mother, or works only at a small- or medium-size company, or is short or older, or lives in the countryside, hê?Tll find it very difficult to marry in Korea.?
Critics say the business demeans and takes advantage of poor women. But brokers say they are merely matching the needs of Korean men and foreign women seeking better lives.
?oBut this business will get more difficult as those countries get richer,? said Won Hyun-jae, the owner of i-Bombit, another agency. ?oNow, even a disabled Korean man can find a Vietnamese bride. But eventually Vietnamese women will ask why they have to go marry a Korean man when life in Vietnam is good.?
For now, Vietnam remains a popular source of brides, second only to China. Marriages with Vietnamese women are considered so successful that the local government of at least one city, Yeongcheon, in South Koreâ?Ts rural southeast, subsidizes marriage tours only to Vietnam.
At Incheon International Airport to the west of Seoul, an increasingly familiar scene unfolds in front of the arrival gates in the mornings. Korean men, holding telltale bouquets and often accompanied by relatives, greet their Vietnamese brides as they arrive on overnight flights from Hanoi or Ho Chi Minh City.
On the Marriage Tour
It was also at the airport that a tense-looking Mr. Kim and another client began their marriage tours. Three brokers for Interwedding and i-Bombit arrived.
Mr. Kim, urged on by an older sister, decided to go to Vietnam after a last-***ch effort to meet a Korean woman in December failed. A high school graduate, he lives with his mother and his sister, and he works on the assembly line of a small manufacturer of car keys. Though he lives in one of the world?Ts most wired societies, Mr. Kim does not use the Internet.
The other client was Kim Tae-goo, 51, who grows ginseng and apples on the 2.5 acres of land he owns in Yeongju, a town southeast of Seoul. Mr. Kim had recently divorced a Chinese woman he married after the death of his first wife, a Korean woman. He lives with his 16-year-old daughter and his elderly mother. His 21-year-old has left home.
Ahn Jae-won, a Korean broker who has long been based in Hanoi and is married to a Vietnamese woman, began: ?oThe women have come out looking their best for you. But don?Tt expect them to look as pretty as Korean women. There is a big gap in our G.D.P.?Ts. Don?Tt be condescending. Don?Tt lie. If you lie, they?Tll find out eventually and feel betrayed and run away.
?oThe parents know that their daughters will marry a Korean man. The authorities know this is happening, but therê?Tll be trouble if we do it in front of them. So I seek your understanding. Once we land in Hanoi, even though it?Tll be very late, wê?Tll go meet the women right away. It?Ts safer to do this at night.
?oOne last thing. Other companies allow you to sleep with the women on the first night. We don?Tt. Only on the bridal night. We must, after all, keep our decorum as Korean men. Is that O.K. with you??
The two nodded.
Introductions and a Choice
And so, at the Lucky Star karaoke bar here, the older Mr. Kim addressed the Vietnamese women, most in their early 20s.
?oMy 16-year-old daughter lives with me, and I?Tm a farmer,? he said, after informing the women through the brokers that he would also send $100 a month to their parents in Vietnam. ?oIs that O.K. with you??
?oI know how to farm,? said Bui Thi Thuy, 22, one of the two women Mr. Kim eventually focused on.
Asked whether she had any questions, Ms. Thuy said she had none. But the other woman, an earnest 28-year-old in a light-green jacket, asked, ?oIf I marry you, will you love me and take care of me forever??
?oOf course,? Mr. Kim answered, then quickly settled on Ms. Thuy.
After a few hours?T sleep, the new couples and the brokers squeezed into a small van for the four-hour ride to the women?Ts home province, Quang Ninh, about four hours east of Hanoi. There, the couples would be interviewed by the local authorities before registering for their marriages.
The road out of Hanoi, a wide highway flanked by new factories owned by multinationals like Canon, eventually narrowed to two lanes crisscrossed frequently by cows. Farther out, farmers could be seen working the soil by hand, and signs of Vietnam?Ts booming economy grew fewer.
Most of the Vietnamese women marrying Korean men came from the rural areas around Hanoi and Ho Chi Minh City.
Both Ms. Vien and Ms. Thuy had friends who had married Korean men and lived, happily it seemed, in South Korea. Like many Vietnamese, they were also avid fans of Korean television shows and movies, the so-called Korean Wave of pop culture that has swept all of Asia since the late 1990s.
The Korean Wave
The Korean Wave has transformed South Koreâ?Ts image in the region, presenting the country as having successfully balanced tra***ion and modernity, a place that produces coveted Samsung cellphones and cherishes family ties.
The week the two women met their future husbands, Vietnamese television was showing in prime time a South Korean television series called ?oSuccessful Story of a Bright Girl? ?" the story of a simple country girl who goes to Seoul and captures the heart of a tycoon.
?oTo be honest, I don?Tt know much about Korea except what I?Tve seen on television,? Ms. Vien said. ?oBut the Korean landscape is beautiful. Korean men look sophisticated and affectionate. They seem responsible, and they live in harmony with their family members and their colleagues.?
A soccer fan able to rattle off the jersey numbers of David Beckham and Zinedine Zidane, she had registered two years earlier with a broker for marriages with Koreans. Her father, a construction worker for a local firm, was able to send his two children ?" Ms. Vien and her older brother ?" to college.
By contrast, Ms. Thuy was one of five children of rice farmers. She had registered with the agency soon after graduating from high school.
?oA friend of mine married a Korean man and now lives in Seoul,? Ms. Thuy said. ?oWe talk on the phone sometimes. Shê?Ts very happy. She says there are so many people and tall buildings in Seoul.?
At age 22, she said, half of her peers had already married. As she waited to marry, she helped with household chores, forbidden by her parents to engage in the farm work that might blemish her looks.
The couples registered for their marriages and underwent medical checkups, running into other Vietnamese-Korean couples along the way.
The younger Mr. Kim wrote a letter in Korean to his bride ?" trying to allay the anxieties he saw on her face, promising to protect her and surmount the inevitable problems ?" but found no way to relay its meaning. The couples bought Korean and Vietnamese dictionaries, pointing to words or using broken English.
The In-Laws
About 40 hours after landing here in Hanoi, the Korean men married their Vietnamese brides in a double ceremony. The brides?T relatives waited at a large restaurant here with expectant looks.
?oToday is the union not only of two people, but of two countries,? said Ms. Vien?Ts father, To Minh Seu, 55. ?oVietnam and Korea share many similarities. We are both Confucian societies.?
Standing next to her daughter and her new son-in-law, Ms. Thuy?Ts mother, Nguyen Thi Nguyet, 56, said: ?oThis is a poor country, but con***ions are much better in Korea. I hope my daughter will have a better life there.?
But Ms. Thuy?Ts father, Bui Van Vui, 52, was displeased that his daughter was marrying a man just one year younger than he was. The night before, he had telephoned Mr. Ahn to complain about the age gap between his daughter and Mr. Kim.
?oI?Tm still very worried because of the age gap,? he said as his son-in-law listened to Mr. Ahn?Ts interpretation. ?oI?Tm slightly relieved now that I see my son-in-law for the first time. But I can?Tt stop worrying.?
?oDon?Tt worry, don?Tt worry about a thing,? Mr. Kim said.
Still, the father looked grim throughout the ceremony.
?oLet?Ts tell him about the compensation,? Mr. Kim told Mr. Ahn, referring to the $100 he would send every month.
?oLater, later,? Mr. Ahn said.
As he left the restaurant after the ceremony, the father turned around at the entrance to take a final look at his daughter. He pressed two fingers against his lips and kissed her goodbye.
Later, Ms. Thuy said: ?oI was my father?Ts favorite. He really adores me and is worried.?
She, too, was worried. ?oI know Korea only from television, but it must be very, very different from reality. I don?Tt know whether my new family will like me, and I don?Tt know how I?Tll adapt. I?Tm overwhelmed with worries.?
A New Chapter Begins
Two days later, it was time for the Korean men to return home, with their wives staying behind to complete the paperwork to join them.
At the airport here, Ms. Thuy announced that she had something to tell her husband and asked Mr. Ahn to interpret.
?oPlease extend my greetings to your mother and children,? she said.
Mr. Kim reached out for a handshake, but the brokers pressed him to give his wife a hug.
?oDon?Tt worry about me,? she said. ?oI?Tll study Korean very hard, and by the time you see me I?Tll be good at it. We had only a short time together. But I felt affection between us and started to feel love for you. When you?Tre in Korea, please call me.?
?oI?Tll call you in two days,? he said.
The two women would leave Hanoi in three months, the same way half a dozen other Vietnamese brides, visas in hand, did on a recent night. The extended families of these brides had come from the countryside to bid them farewell, some still wearing car sickness patches behind their ears for the long drive here.
Many, it seemed, were visiting the airport for the first time. Some kept riding an escalator up and down, their faces showing the thrill of a new experience.
Then, with the boarding time approaching, they clustered in front of a window looking into the immigration office, noses pressed against the glass, and waved at the brides as they were stamped out of Vietnam and went off to catch the red-eye to South Korea.

Continued:
Marriage brokers in Vietnam cater to Korean bachelorsBy Norimitsu Oni****hursday, February 22, 2007HANOI: It was midnight here in Hanoi, or already 2 a.m. back in Seoul. But after a five-hourflight on a recent Sunday, Kim Wan Su was driven straight from the airport to the Lucky Starkaraoke bar, where 23 young Vietnamese women seeking Korean husbands sat waiting in twodimly lit rooms."Do I have to look at them and decide now?" Kim asked, as the marriage brokers gave a briefdescription of each of the women sitting around a U-shaped sofa.Thus, Kim, a 39-year-old auto parts worker from a suburb of Seoul, began the mildly chaotic,two-hour process of choosing a spouse. In a day or two, if his five-day marriage tour wentaccording to plan, he would be wed and enjoying his honeymoon at the famed Perfume Pagodain the Huong Tich Mountain southwest of here.More and more South Korean men are finding wives outside Korea, where a surplus ofbachelors, a shortage of marriageable Korean women and their rising social status havecombined to shrink the domestic market for the marriage-minded male. Bachelors in China,India and other Asian nations, where the tra***ional preference for sons has created adisproportionate number of men now fighting over a smaller pool of women, are also facing thesame problem.But a booming Korean marriage tourism industry is seizing on an increasingly globalizedmarriage market and sending comparatively affluent Korean bachelors to searching for brides inthe poorer corners of China and Southeast and Central Asia. The marriage tours are fueling anthe explosive growth in marriages to foreigners in Korea, a country whose ethnic homogeneitylies at the core of its self-identity.In 2005, marriages to foreigners accounted for 14 percent of all marriages in South Korea, upfrom 4 percent in 2000.After an initial setback ?" his first three choices found various reasons to decline his offer ?" Kimnarrowed his field to a 22-year-old economics major in college and an 18-year-old high schoolgraduate."What''s your personality like?" Kim asked the college student."I''m an extrovert," she said.The 18-year-old asked why he wanted to marry a Vietnamese woman."I have two colleagues who married Vietnamese women," he said, adding, "The women seemdevoted and family-oriented."One Korean broker said the 22-year-old, who seemed bright and assertive, would adapt well toSouth Korea. Another suggested flipping a coin."Well, since I''m quiet, I''ll choose the extrovert," Kim said finally, adding quickly, "Is it O.K. if Ihold her hand now?"She came over to sit next to him, though neither dared to hold hands. She spelled out in hername in her left palm: "Vien." Her name was To Thi Vien.In South Korea, billboards advertising marriages to foreigners dot the countryside, and flyers arescattered on the Seoul subway. Many rural governments, faced with depopulation, subsidize themarriage tours, which typically cost $10,000.
The business began in the late 1990s by matching Korean farmers or the physically disabled tomostly ethnic Koreans in China, according to brokers and the Korea Consumer ProtectionBoard. But by 2003, the majority of customers were urban bachelors and the foreign bridescame from a host of countries. The board says between 2,000 and to 3,000 agencies operatenow.The widespread availability of gender-screening technology since the 1980s has resulted in anoverabundance of Korean males. What is more, Korea''s growing wealth has increased women''seducational and employment opportunities, even as it has led to rising divorce rates andplummeting birth rates."Nowadays, Korean women have higher standards," said Lee Eun Tae, the owner ofInterwedding, an agency that last year matched 400 Korean bachelors with brides fromVietnam, China, the Philippines, Mongolia, Thailand, Cambodia, Uzbekistan and Indonesia. "If aman has only a high school degree, or lives with his mother, or works only at a small- ormedium-sized company, or is short or older, or lives in the countryside ?" he''ll find it verydifficult to marry in Korea."Critics say the business demeans and takes advantage of poor women. But brokers say theyare merely matching the needs of Korean men and foreign women seeking better lives."But this business will get more difficult as those countries get richer," said Won Hyun Jae, theowner of i-Bombit, another agency. "Now, even a disabled Korean man can find a Vietnamesebride. But eventually Vietnamese women will ask why they have to go marry a Korean manwhen life in Vietnam is good."For now, Vietnam remains a popular source of brides, second only to China. Marriages withVietnamese women are considered so successful that at least one rural government,Yeongcheon, in Korea''s southeast, subsidizes marriage tours only to Vietnam.At Incheon International Airport outside Seoul, an increasingly familiar scene unfolds in front ofthe arrival gates in the mornings. Korean men, holding telltale bouquets and often accompaniedby relatives, can be seen greeting their Vietnamese brides as they arrive on overnight flightsfrom Hanoi or Ho Chi Minh City.It was also at Incheon Airport that a tense-looking Kim and another client began their marriagetours. Three brokers for Interwedding and i-Bombit arrived.Kim, urged on by an older sister, decided to go to Vietnam after a last-***ch effort to meet aKorean woman in December failed. A high school graduate, he lives with his mother and anolder sister, and works on the assembly line of a small manufacturer of car keys. Though helives in one of the world''s most wired societies, Kim does not use the Internet.The other client was Kim Tae Goo, 51, who farms ginseng and apples on the hectare, or 2.5acres, of land he owns in Yeongju, a town in Korea''s southeast. Kim had recently divorced aChinese woman he married after the death of his first wife, a Korean woman. He lives with his16-year-old daughter and his elderly mother; his 21-year-old has left home.Ahn Jae Won, a Korean broker who has long been based in Hanoi and is himself married to aVietnamese woman, began: "The women have come out looking their best for you. But don''texpect them to look as pretty as Korean women. There is a big gap in our GDP''s. Don''t becondescending. Don''t lie. If you lie, they''ll find out eventually and feel betrayed and run away.""The parents know that their daughters will marry a Korean man. The authorities know this ishappening, but there''ll be trouble if we do it in front of them. So I seek your understanding. Oncewe land in Hanoi, even though it''ll be very late, we''ll go meet the women right away. It''s safer todo this at night.""One last thing. Other companies allow you to sleep with the women on the first night. We don''t.Only on the bridal night. We must, after all, keep our decorum as Korean men. Is that O.K. withyou?
The two nodded.And so, at the Lucky Star karaoke bar here, the older Kim addressed the Vietnamese women,most in their early 20s."My 16-year-old daughter lives with me and I''m a farmer," the older Kim said, after informing thewomen through the brokers that he would also send $100 a month to their parents in Vietnam."Is that O.K. with you?""I know how to farm," said Bui Thi Thuy, 22, one of the two women Kim eventually focused on.Asked whether she had any questions, Thuy said she had none. But the other woman, anearnest 28-year-old in a light-green jacket, asked: "If I marry you, will you love me and take careof me forever?""Of course," Kim answered, then quickly settled on Thuy.After a few hours'' sleep, the new couples and the brokers squeezed into a small van for thefour-hour ride to the women''s home province, Quang Ninh, about four hours east of Hanoi.There, the couples would be interviewed by the local authorities before registering for theirmarriage.The road out of Hanoi, a wide highway flanked by new factories owned by multinationals likeCanon, eventually narrowed to two lanes criss-crossed frequently by cows. Farther out, farmerscould be seen working the soil by hand, and signs of Vietnam''s booming economy grew fewer.Most of the Vietnamese women marrying Korean men came from the rural areas around Hanoiand Ho Chi Minh City.Both Vien and Thuy had friends who had married Korean men and lived, happily it seemed, inKorea. Like many Vietnamese, they were also avid fans of South Korean television shows andmovies, the Korean Wave of pop culture that has swept all of Asia since the late 1990s.The Korean Wave has transformed South Korea''s image in the region, presenting the countryas having successfully balanced tra***ion and modernity, a place that produces covetedSamsung cellphones and cherishes family ties. The week the two women met their newhusbands, Vietnamese television was showing in prime time a Korean television series called"Successful Story of A Bright Girl" ?" the story of a simple country girl who goes to Seoul andcaptures the heart of a tycoon."To be honest, I don''t know much about Korea except what I''ve seen on television," Vien said."But the Korean landscape is beautiful. Korean men look sophisticated and affectionate. Theyseem responsible and they live in harmony with their family members and their colleagues."A soccer fan, able to rattle off the jersey numbers of David Beckham or Zinédine Zidane, shehad registered two years earlier with a local broker for marriages with Koreans. With only Vienand an older brother, her parents ?" her father was a construction worker for a local firm ?" hadsent both to college.By contrast, Thuy was one of five children of rice farmers. She had registered with the agencysoon after graduating from high school."A friend of mine married a Korean man and now lives in Seoul," Thuy said. "We talk on thephone sometimes. She''s very happy. She says there are so many people and tall buildings inSeoul."At age 22, she said, half of her peers had already married. As she waited to get married, shehelped with household chores, forbidden by her parents to engage in the farm work that mightblemish her looks.The couples registered for their marriages and underwent medical check- ups, running intoother Vietnamese- Korean couples along the way.

Sorry our dear MCs, i did post SnagIt download link in my siggy but It wasn''t shown.
Được Juria86 sửa chữa / chuyển vào 18:29 ngày 24/07/2008

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Hi all: Here are some more references. They''re not exactly things related to "Getting married with Korean" but I think you can gain some informations more about getting married to a foreigner.
Should we marry to a foreigner?
It can be sometimes believed that ?oLove then Marriagê?, I totally agree that Love is the most important thing in a happy marriage, however it is the fact that most of us need consider many other things beside truly love before getting married to someone. Marriage means that you decided to share your own life with your spouse and all people know how valuable of their life is, so it is very nature to consider everything carefully before making a decision . In case of getting married to a foreigner, it is more necessary to consider it from all sides.
What are the advantages and disadvantages of Getting married with a foreigner?
With my limited knowledge, i just can mention some most common points as follows: First of all, there are some advantages:
1. You are really happy with your truly love.
o If you are a person who has the sole aim of life is Love, you should ignore all the following of this article
o If you are not easily blinded just by Love, please keep reading.
2. You can learn effectively about more another culture, another language.
3. Your usual-life is always interesting because you always have to discover many exciting and strange things from your foreign partner.
4. Your children will have at least 2 bloodlines, know at least 2 languages and have at least 2 home countries.
5. You and your family can reside easily at least in 2 countries
Next to disadvantages:
I can assure that your life will become unusual, very much harder than other same-country-married-couples because there are too many obstacles such as language barrier, culture barrier, the barrier of race and religion?.These obstacles can cause many many big problems, for example:
1. You might face the strict forbidden of you parents-in-law and also your own parents. If you are an Oriental, it will be harder to solve this problem.
2. You maybe never hear the lovely dear words in your mother tongue from your spouse. These words that you from deepest heart will crave for hearing whenever making love with your partner
3. You sometimes must pretend that you like what you really dislike to make your spouse feel happy, such as eating what you don?Tt want, reading what you don?Tt care and so on?
4. Nowadays, to break down these barriers is possible, but it is really hard to do. Therefore, if you don?Tt believe that you are brave and strong enough, you don?Tt want to face challenges or you want to have a peaceful life, please giving up the intention of marrying a foreigner, it will be really much easier for you to find out your other truly lover in your own country and live along with him/her happily.
In sum, for me, happy marriage is not based on who the husband and wife are but how congenial souls they have. I can not affirm that which decision is right or wrong but i am sure that if you find out the person who can understand you thoroughly he/she will always be there for you to overcome every hard obstacle in life, at that time nothing can make you wonder, please get married immediately then you will have a happy marriage, not to care either your spouse is a foreigner or not.

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