Daily Jokes --> smile, laugh --> Let us make our life more wonderful!

Spend time to laugh, it will help u to release stress. So now collect your interesting English jokes and post and share and laugh )))))))
Let me start

TROUBLE TEACHING

The class was very noisy just now because there was not any teacher, but now everyone suddenly turned quiet.
That is because the fiercest teacher in the school had entered the class.

Students: Good morning, teacher.
Teacher: Listen, today I'm going to test you all on words that have the opposite meaning. When I say a
sentence or word, all of you must answer quickly the opposite meaning to the words, understand?
Students: Understood teacher!
Teacher: I do not want any disturbance!
Students: (silence)
Teacher: Clever!
Students: Stupid!
Teacher: High!
Students: Low!
Teacher: Popular!
Students: Calafare!
Teacher: Wrong!
Students: Correct!
Teacher: Stupid!
Students: Clever!
Teacher: No!
Students: Yes!
Teacher: Oh God!
Students: Oh Slave!
Teacher: Listen to this!
Students: Ignore that!
Teacher: Quiet!
Students: Noisy!
Teacher: That is not a question, stupid!
Students: This is an answer, clever!
Teacher: I'm dead!
Students: We're alive!
Teacher: I'm lazy to teach!
Students: We are hardworking to learn!
Teacher: Enough! Enough!
Students: More! More!
Teacher: Stop! Stop!
Students: Start! Start!
Teacher: Why are you people so stupid?!
Students: Because I am someone clever!
Teacher: Lack manners!
Students: Polite enough!
Teacher: O.K. Lesson has ended!
Students: K.O. Lesson has not started!
Teacher: Enough, stupid!
Students: Not yet, clever!
Teacher: Stand up!
Students: Sit down!
Teacher: I said CALAFARE was wrong!
Students: We said POPULAR was correct!
Teacher: You people are dumb!
Students: We are gifted!
Teacher: All of you must stay back this afternoon!
Students: Released tonight!
Teacher: (Keeps quiet, gathers her books and leaves)


BADGIRL

lol... good joke, 2 questions though: what's K.O.? and how do all the students answer in union - at the same time - and quick?
--oOo---
You can try to resist
Try to hide from my kiss
But you know, but you know
That you, can't fight the moonlight

http://www.truyentranh.com

KO Knock out . Context? I didn't read the whole thing.

Plunging into an Abyss
​

To moihongdao: These are answers for your questions
1. Read ngoaytai's answer, it is acceptable.
2. Yes, of course. Read carefully again: all of you must answer quickly. And pleas pay attention on the word students I used.
Thanks for your attention.
BADGIRL

Relax. Another joke for u. Have fun.
TWO NUNS
There are two nuns. One of them is known as Sister Mathematical (SM), and the other one is known as Sister Logical (SL).
It is getting dark, and they are still far away from the convent.
SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants.
SL: It's logical. He wants to rape us.
SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most. What can we do?
SL: The only logical thing to do, of course, is to walk faster.
SM: It's not working.
SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only logical thing. He started to walk faster, too.
SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.
SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way, and I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both.
So the man decided to follow Sister Logical. Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried what has happened to Sister Logical. Then Sister Logical arrives.
SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here! Tell me what happened!
SL: The only logical thing happened. The man couldn't follow us both, so he followed me.
SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then?
SL: The only logical thing happened. I started to run as fast as I could, and he started to run as fast as he could.
SM: And?
SL: The only logical thing happened. He reached me.
SM: Oh, dear! What did you do?
SL: The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up.
SM: Oh, Sister! What did the man do?
SL: The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants.
SM: Oh, no! What happened then?
SL: Isn't it logical, Sister? A nun with her dress up can run faster than a man with his pants down!
BADGIRL