Depression. How do you deal with it?

It is hard to believe but Iõ?Tm in a severe stage of depression right now. Iõ?Tve heard of this term many times before but I didnõ?Tt expect it would ever happen to me. After reading an article about depression a few days ago, I just realized that Iõ?Tm having almost all the symptoms of depression.

õ? constant feelings of sadness, irritability, or tension
õ? decreased interest or pleasure in usual activities or hobbies
õ? loss of energy, feeling tired despite lack of activity
õ? a change in appetite, with significant weight loss or weight gain
õ? a change in sleeping patterns, such as difficulty sleeping, early morning awakening, or sleeping too much
õ? restlessness or feeling slowed down
õ? decreased ability to make decisions or concentrate
õ? feelings of worthlessness, hopelessness, or guilt
õ? thoughts of suicide or death

I already knew that Iõ?Tm having some psychological problems. But I didnõ?Tt expect that my problem can be this severely. According to my symptoms, Iõ?Tm in the worst stage of depression. That is kind of scary, isnõ?Tt it? Right now, I feel like there is a black curtain of despair coming down over my life. I donõ?Tt have any energy and cannot concentrate. I feel irritable all the time for no apparent reasons. Sometimes I feel so isolated and alone. Life is just a horrible thing for me. I just canõ?Tt find any happiness or interest in life.

Depression is a very common problem, especially for people in my age range. There are many causes for depression like failing to meet familyõ?Ts expectation, having problems at work or school, facing a troubled relationship, or missing a closed one who was just deceased. You can become depressed after changes in your life, like starting a new job, graduating from school, or getting married.

I have been hesitate to discuss my problem to family or friends. Now understanding that I cannot live under this black curtain forever, I''m seeking for help. Iõ?Td like to know if any of you have experienced depression in your life and how did you deal with it. I really appreciate your response because it may help me get out of this black pit of life.

I am too. Can anybody help me?

Hi king67 and Tao_lao,
Kinda odd but I just experienced a similar situation recently. My sleeping pattern absolutely changes, which also affects my mood. Also, I ate randomly, skipped meals. Thoughts of suicide also jumped into my mind every once in a while. And I did not want to talk to anyone... felt that nobody was there to listen. I''''m homesick as well...
Generally, I was always in a bad (and somehow sleepy ) state.
So I came to see a therapist/psychologist at the school counseling office. She talked to me through my problems, recommended several ways to make myself feel better. Here are some solutions you may want to consider:

- Try to sleep 15 mins earlier every night if you''''ve been sleeping really really late - until you can regulate the sleeping time as you want (11:30pm-6:30am, for example)
- Exercise more. You can go to the gym, walk, run, or take some dance classes It will help your body to be more active and lead your thoughts away from the negative area.
- Try some kind of me***ation (zen, yoga, etc.)
- Get involved in activities of your interest. After a week of working hard, reward yourself by a nice afternoon in a coffee shop with some jazz music, for example. Or go on a field trip with friends / on your own. Nature helps to relieve our moods If you''''re interested in photography, bring a camera with you everywhere to take pictures. When I take pictures of the nature, I feel calm and happy. Beauty is great
- Direct your concentration on something like cooking, gardening, fixing stuff at home, etc. which usually requires some attention. I found out that though it was often difficult to concentrate, such simple things kept my attention really well. Just tried cooking today since my new dorm has a kitchen It was nice!!
- I don''''t have pets at my dorm... but if you have some favorite pets, playing with them is a good way to relax your mind as well.
The hard thing about being in this situation is relaxing our minds. The therapist said she''''d never met someone like me - it was almost impossible for me to relax! =) Probably I was in a really bad mood I guess... But now it''''s getting better and better.
I''''m glad that you post this here so everyone can support to help you feeling happier. Though you are the only one who can deal with your own thoughts and emotions, there are others who care I don''''t know you, but as I experienced this down-stage before, I can''''t neglect.
(I have a knife, sometimes I thought of using it *****icide, but luckily, I feared of pains Don''''t harm yourself under any circumstances...... ''''cuz it hurts. Ughhhh, I''''m sure you don''''t want that!! )
Take care, and let me know how things go. Life is a parabol, now if you feel that you reach the bottom, it should start to go up again. Yes? No? You decide!
Được Satori sửa chữa / chuyển vào 12:10 ngày 22/05/2006

"My sleeping pattern absolutely changes, which also affects my mood. Also, I ate randomly, skipped meals. Thoughts of suicide also jumped into my mind every once in a while. And I did not want to talk to anyone... felt that nobody was there to listen."
Satori,
This is exactly how I feel right now. It almost seems like you can read my mind clearly. I was thinking about going to a therapist for help. But I would be more depressed when I find out the price they charge for a counseling session. I just remember my school hospital also offers free consulting service for students. Maybe I''ll make a visit and see if they can help.
Anyway, after reading your advice, I felt a big relief and started to think that my problem can be treated. I definitely will try to change my sleeping habit and start to exercise more. I like make excuses that I don''t have enough time to exercise because of the overload amount of work and study. But I know if I can manage my time better, I will have a lot of spare time to exercise.
I''m not sure if I can do me***ation because I don''t have much patience and my mind just cannot take a break. I''m thinking too much and most of the thoughts are very negative. I also have a big problem with concentration. I have a very short memory and keep forgetting things. It seems like my mind is overloaded. This is very uncharacterized from what I was used to be.
I heard there are some anti-depression medications. But I think this psychological problem would be best treated by my own determination to make a change for a better life.
Thanks again Satori. I do appreciate your help.

Hi King,
I truly understand your present mood. Happiness and sadness always exist in our life and human being has to experience them all. I am sure that all of us have to carry sorrows and what we need to do is to cope with and overcome them.
When I am down, I usually try my best to keep my life normal: wake up at the time I usually wake up, eat the same amount, work as usual, talk and laugh with my family and my friends, practicing my yoga exercises, etc.
King, please donõ?Tt change your normal life and using all your strength and effort to keep it normal.
Secondly, I find that you might be stressful with tons of work and study. You should spend time to relax and reward yourself like listening to music (strongly recommend semi-classic music, it will release your tension for sure), practicing exercises, hanging out with your friends or visiting some nice new places.
One more ad***ional thing, I see you stay up very late. So try to go to bed earlier and wake up sooner to enjoy the beautiful sunrise. Youõ?Tll be better.
Remember to prevent your mind from thinking about suicide. It is so bad. You are so meaningful with your family, your friends and with us, SEC. You have a bright future waiting for you and at least, a warm colorful vacation is at your hand
I am sure you will feel better tomorrow. Depression comes and goes õ?Ưthatõ?Ts life. When you reach the top of happiness, it will go down. So it is the same with depression, reaching the top and it will go up.
Được dirosemimi sửa chữa / chuyển vào 22:28 ngày 22/05/2006

Thank Satori for your advices.
Hi King. In being depressed, you can try to do 3 things
1) Sleep early (like Ms. Di suggested)
Staying late makes you feel helpless and lonely because everybody is sleeping. Being alone in a quiet and late night stimulates your negative thinking as well.
2) Listen to positive and fresh music
To avoid to listen to blue music and heavy music such as blue/jazz, particularly blue Vietnamese music, pre-war and pre-war-like by Trịnh Công Sơn and Vũ Thành An, and Ngô Thuỵ Miên etc. They made you feel sad. I dun listen to Vietnamese music for a long time even thought I am a fan of its. Try to listen to fresh music like country or rock.
In the simlilar perspective, avoid to read sad stories, watch sad movies and talk about unpleased things.
3) Do something to be focused
When you focus and are busy you have no time to be sad or negative attitutes. Read / write something , playing some games (do you know how to play chess?)

Hey King,
Beside the above advices, i just want to add something that was really helpful for me when i am in your situation. Just think about other disadvantaged people those are in worse situations. But they still try their best to overcome their difficulties. I mean when thinking about unlucky people, children, I remind myself that i am still luckier that them. I have a good family, i can go to school, etc. Then you will see your problems are just normal. Then i feel more comfortable, i have many other things to do, to care about. Always think optimistic
That works to me ! hope it will be the same to you
Ah, yeah, as some ideas mentioned above, I just want to reconfirm that the nature is really helpful. It will makes you relieved. You''re living in Cali,right? If possible, try going to the sea. You''ll see the different !
Hope you find yourself back soon.
To Mr Taolao : How are you, brother?

Hi King,
I can understand what you are feeling. Let take a look at this link, I hope that it will give you some solutions.
http://www.suckhoecongdong.com/content/view/740/78/
See you this Friday in good form, SEC Die-Hard Member.
Được kany sửa chữa / chuyển vào 01:29 ngày 23/05/2006

Hey, King, I hope that you are better now because there are so many great friends around you. They gave you good advices.
To me, I have my own exeperience. And I want to share with you. Only one thing that I often do is walking alone. You just need 15 minutes walking along the street and think of nothing.
If it is possible you should join in some activities. To be with everyone.
Just something that I hope it can helps you

Thank you all for sharing your meaningful advices.
@ Dimi:
Yes, you are right. I felt better today already, right after I woke up in the morning and read all of your advices. There was a little bit of warmth in my heart because now I know there are good friends out there who actually care of how I feel.
Can you please send me more songs similar to "If Tomorrow Never Comes?" Semi-classic is not really my type of music. I thought they are for ladies and old people. Somehow that song is surprisingly pleasant to hear. I normally listen to rock and emotional songs to pump up my feeling. Now I think soft and slow songs can do better to help me relax.
@ Tao_Lao
I absolutely agree with you regarding the point that I have to keep myself busy so I wouldn''t have time for negative feeling. I really have a problem managing my time. I have many things to do; but at the same time I''m wasting so much time doing useless things. That is something I need to work on. I''m thinking about making a daily schedule to handle my time more efficiently. I don''t know how to play chess but I could play Chinese chess (cờ tướng) pretty well. In fact, I was in second place in the county tournament when I was in 5th grade. I haven''t played the game for like 12-13 years but I think I can still contend.
@Areca_maa
I tried your method so many times before but somehow it didn''t work for me. I know that I''m more fortunate than many people. I''m healthy, having a happy family. I go to a good school, have a decent job. I have things that many others don''t. But the matter is not what I have in life, but how I perceive life itself. Many other people are having much worse situation than I do but they still enjoy their lives. That is because they can think positively and I can''t. If I can only have negative thoughts in my head, no matter what I have, my life is nothing but a burden.
I live about 15 minutes from the beach but somehow I rarely go there. After I finish my final exams, I''ll definitely ask my brother-in-law to go fishing at the beach.
@ Kany
The info you provided is very helpful. Thanks bro. By the way, where have you been lately? I don''t see you attending SEC online meeting anymore. What''s going on?
After I posted this thread, I believed that I made a mistake and wanted to close it. I thought it is kinda stupid to reveal too much of my personal feeling to the public. I don''t want people to feel sorry for me. Getting people''s pity is the last thing on my mind. When I was about to delete this thread, I read Satori''s response and I decided to change my mind. I think that there are many other people in my situation. So sharing thoughts and giving advices in this matter would be very helpful for all of us. For other posts that I write, my goal is to make them interesting to have people''s contribution. For this one, I''m trying to help myself and other people. So please do write seriously in this post because you can make a significant impact on another person''s life.