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Được sửa chữa bởi - dirosemimi vào 11/05/2002 11:28

Can Men have Female Friends ?
Even the most secure, sensible woman may feel jealous when she sees her guy having a blast with another woman. He says she's just a friend; you know she's just a friend, but stil. Can there really be room for more than one woman in a man's heart? Are men and women ever really just friends? Rationally, we know the answers are yes and yes, but that doesn't stop us from worrying that our guy's got feelings for someone else.
One Lifetime Online community member recently went to pick up her boyfriend of three years at his gym and treat him to a surprise breakfast. Instead, she got a surprise of her own when she found her beau engaged in an intimate conversation with his aerobics instructor. Later, he confessed that he hadn't told this woman that he was living with someone. "I feel hurt and betrayed, but he thinks I'm overreacting â?" because she's just a friend." It's a sticky situation: how to draw boundaries while at the same time allowing your partner to have his own life, which may include female friends. Here's what the experts have to say about dealing constructively with the "other women" issue.
Give yourself a reality check. If your man is simply talking to another woman, it doesn't necessarily mean he wants her. "If someone else has designs on him, it doesn't make a difference â?" unless he's interested," says psychologist Matti Gershenfeld, Ph.D., president of The Couples Learning Center in Jenkintown, Pennsylvania. As one Lifetime regular puts it, "Before assuming your mate is being unfaithful, ask questions. Sometimes situations aren't as they appear." So don't jump to conclusions and assume the worst. Good relationships are founded on trust and the ability to bring up â?" and hash out â?" things that bother you.
Remove the third party from the discussion. Your instinct might be to run off at the mouth about that hussy and how she makes you feel uncomfortable and unwelcome, but that won't achieve anything, because he'll be angry that you're attacking his friend. "This is about your relationship with your partner and whether you trust him and are happy with his level of commitment," says Joni Johnston, Psy.D., a psychologist in Del Mar, California, and author of "The Complete Idiot's Guide to Psychology." "Evaluate how you're feeling about the relationship and pay attention to what makes you jealous." When the green-eyed monster strikes, ask yourself: What makes me feel insecure in this relationship? What can I do to help myself feel more secure? And has he given me a reason not to trust him? Then, have a direct, non-accusatory conversation with your man about your feelings and concerns.
Chill out. People in serious relationships should be allowed to talk to other members of the opposite *** without all hell breaking loose. You need to grant your partner space to have conversations and experiences that don't revolve around you, or you're likely to come across as controlling, says Dr. Johnston, who cautions that this could ultimately drive your lover away.
Define your relationship. The key to your uneasiness with your partner's female friends may be that you're uncertain of where your relationship is headed and need assurance that you're both in this for the long haul, notes Dr. Gershenfeld. "Living together is no longer necessarily a prelude to marriage," says the relationship expert. "Often, both people aren't equally committed, which can lead to insecurity and trust issues." That's why it's important to compare notes on how the two of you view your relationship and your future. You may be able to address the differences between you and come to a common ground, or you may decide you're wasting your time and hightail it out of there. In either case, you'll be standing on firmer ground â?" and much better equipped to deal with female friends or any other relationship curveballs that come your way.


Get out the dream of your life and
live the Life of your dream

As far as I am concerned, Men can have female friends. However, they have to know the limits , ie, not treat so close, not drive them on the street, not go out for a drink . And Men should tell their girlfriends all about the relationship with another Female. Women are always so jealous, and I think men should pay attention to what they do in order not to make their partners sad and disappointed. And , the most important thing is the love and the understanding of a couple . Love and understanding create belief.

Dirosemimi

As far as I am concerned, Men can have female friends.
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hịa hịa, duh, men can AND always have female friends. The problem lies, and you dont seem to see it, in the reality some cases of the so-called "friendship" in the Western world and/or even the East today. I reckon, in the modern world filled with liberal viewpoints today, even when you live in the East (more specifically in Vietnam) you might have heard of the kinda friendship integrated with a one-night-stand kinda affair at least once. People be friends, get drunk or do drug, have ***ual relationship for one night and would return to the normal friendship the following day.
Yes, yes, it's a stereotype. Of course out of millions of couples of friends in the world today, only very few of them get involved in that twisted ***ual/soul-mate kinda friendship. Yet, the number is quite high enough to be known among lots of people (people talk freely about it. Tara Reid, once in Maxim, said that she had been involved in it several times) and enough to get girls/guys worried when they see their guys/girls hanging out with other girls/guys, who are claimed to be pure friend.
great topic. Good job, bro. Keep up with it.

Sàng tiền minh nguyệt quang
Nghi thị địa thượng sương
Cử đầu vọng minh nguyệt
Đê đầu tư cố hương

Được sửa chữa bởi - longatum vào 11/05/2002 01:53

True love or fleeting passion?
You have been dating the same person for three months and each encounter leads to explosive fireworks. You talk late into the night about everything and nothing and the rest of your time is spent making passionate love. You feel the admiration in the other's eyes and you hope that these sublime moments will last forever. Unfortunately, they might not...
At the beginning of a "serious" relationship it's not uncommon to neglect everybody??"even your closest friends and family??"in favour of devoting all your time to your new love. In those rare moments when you're not together, you're talking to each other on the phone. At work, your colleagues notice your radiant expression that hides behind your tired yawns and the dark circles under your eyes. When you're not with him, you're usually busy daydreaming about your next date. Much like Leonardo DiCaprio in Titanic, you feel like you're the "king of the world."
As time passes, however, and you're relationship becomes more complex, you realize that kingship is not without its own set of duties, sacrifices, trials and tribulations. It started innocently enough, you think, reflecting on when you first started talking about the "future." But before you knew it you were living in that future. Convinced that nothing could possibly threaten your love, you agreed to move in together.
While the excitement of your new life together helped things to go smoothly for the first few months, you soon started to notice that there is a vast difference between passion and love. You've now got a very pleasant daily routinê?"a fulfilling job, a good *** life, somebody with whom you can share your most intimate secrets??"but you start to notice that there are a few little things that drive you absolutely crazy about your partner.
You probably noticed them all along, but at first everything about your love made you smile; you just brushed aside the small faults by telling yourself that love would get you through anything. As time passes, however, you notice that these small faults become bigger and bigger. What you once considered, for example, his tendency to disregard your emotions has now morphed into an all-out lack of interest in your emotional well-being. Things are different now. You notice that: he doesn't pay as much attention to you; he only talks about himself, his family and his career; he goes to bed after you??"it doesn't even feel like you sleep together anymore; you've discovered what a slob he really is; he spends more and more time with his friends; you seem to have fewer and fewer intimate conversations; he seems less interested in you physically.
As soon as you realize this you start to panic, immediately thinking of yourself as one of those "old," passionless couples. As the bright passion of your relationship's early days fades, you start to wonder whether or not the fires of love are burning hot enough to keep your relationship going. Is your relationship based on "true love" or merely on a fleeting passion?
To be continue....
Get out the dream of your life and
live the Life of your dream