[English] FEAR ME

Fear Me
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“So you would have felt desire for him. Desire isn't based on biology and I think you know that. It starts here,” he tapped my temple before trailing his fingers down my body slowly, “before it reaches your sweet spot.” I was sure I was flaming red by now.

“I don’t hate you,” I whispered rubbing my sore, red wrists. Bruising was already forming and I wondered how I could hide it from my aunt.

“Not even after what I did to you tonight?”

“I don’t know how I feel about that.”

“But you are afraid of me.”

“And so you believe my fear sparked ***ual desire for you?”

“Something tells me you came to this conclusion already.” I shook my head in denial not wanting to admit how right he was. “Monroe, you don’t desire me because you fear me. You desired me long before I gave you a reason to be afraid.”

I shook my head again abruptly. "Impossible –”

He blew out a breath in frustration. “How? You've been eye ****ing me since puberty. I've noticed you Monroe – beyond the taunts and the rumors I spread, I've noticed you. You wanted me. You still do.”

“It's impossible because I've been afraid of you since I was seven years old.”

* * *

It was just after midnight when I finally walked inside my house. I thought about the last thing I said to him before he said good night, abruptly ending our talk. I must say that I didn't expect his reaction. He all but kicked me out of his car and sped off before I even reached the door.

So much for chaste kisses on the doorstep. Not that I wanted to kiss him or anything.

After a hot shower, I was turning down my blankets for bed, cursing Keiran the whole time, when I heard a noise. It sounded muffled and far away so I quietly moved to the bedroom door and peeked around the frame.

My door was the closest to the stairs so I saw a light that I didn’t remember turning on. I creeped down the stairs slowly, praying there wasn't a creepy burglar in the house. My aunt was too much of a pacifist to keep a gun in the house, not that I knew how to use one. How hard could it be, though? You just point, shoot, and hope the wrong end isn’t facing you.

I was halfway down and finally convinced myself it was nothing, when the light suddenly turned off. The only thing that could be heard after that was the wild beating of my heart as it dropped to the pit of my stomach. Calm down, Lake. The power must have gone out.

I looked back up the stairs to see light still shining from my bedroom and my body went cold. I’m talking Arctic cold, people. I knew I needed to call for help but was too afraid to move, fearing that I would alert whoever was in the house by some small noise.

I knew Aunt Carissa wouldn't be back this soon without telling me first, so this had to be a break-in. I tried to recall if I locked the door but I couldn’t remember a single thing past that light turning off. Finally it came. The sound that confirmed someone was in the house with me. It sounded like footsteps, hard and heavy. There were only two and then it stopped.

The foyer? The Kitchen?

They were the only two places in the house besides the bathroom that would produce the sound of footsteps that loud. I grabbed some balls by the skin and slowly began backing up the stairs, careful not to make a sound. I almost made it too but the sudden sound of my cell phone ringing from my open bedroom door broke the silence. Keiran had given it back to me when he kicked me out of his car.

****.

I broke out into a run, not caring about keeping silent any longer. I made it to my bedroom and locked the door just as the ringing stopped. I ran over to my nightstand and snatched my cellphone up. It was a missed call from Willow. I hit the phone icon to dial the

police and a second later there was a thump on my bedroom door. Followed by a series of thumps that became more forceful. Someone was trying to break down the door.

The operator finally came over the line. "Please, somebody is in my house," I cried. Suddenly the thumping stop and I could hear the sound of footsteps again. I gave the operator my address and sunk to the floor in relief when the door rattled and I felt my heart stop altogether.

"Go away, I called the police!"

“You did what? Open the door!” I heard a familiar angry voice boom from the other side of the door. I was too terrified to move so I sat there on my knees, clutching my phone and wishing the police would hurry.

“Why are you doing this?” I asked in a gut-wrenching sob.

“Doing what? Open the door!” He continued pounding on the door until a crack split the wood. I jumped and began screaming at the top of my lungs.

“Leave me alone, please!” Keiran had almost succeeded breaking the door down when I heard ad***ional footsteps running up the stairs.

“Police!” I heard the voices on the other side of the door instructing Keiran to place his hands up.

“Ma'am, it's Officer Reynolds and my partner, Officer Burkes. You can open the door now. We have him restrained.”

I sat there numb for a minute before I finally stood to my feet and opened the door. An officer was standing on the other side. He looked familiar somehow but I couldn't place him. The other officer was leading away a handcuffed Keiran, who was silent as he was taken downstairs.

“Are you okay, did he hurt you?” Officer Reynolds asked.

I found it hard to speak so I shook my head. “We need you to come down to make a statement. Do you have someone you can call?”

“My aunt is out of town but I can call my best friend. Can it wait till morning, Officer? I can't do this now.”

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He hesitated before asking, “How old are you?”

“Eighteen.” He nodded before leaving. I sat back on the floor once they were gone and cried until I had nothing left.

* * *

Pepé was curled comfortably in my lap as I sat in Willow’s bedroom staring out the window. He must have sensed something was wrong because he hasn't left my lap since I got here. He was usually finding places to conquer and items to steal. I was pretty sure he already ran off with my keys as usual, before he came back to cuddle with me. He was probably ensuring I wouldn't search for them, which was the reason for his unusual cuddling.

“Are you going to tell me what is wrong? You look like you've seen a ghost or something.”

I took a deep breath before answering. “Keiran broke into my house and –”

“Oh my gosh! What? Where you there? Are you okay? Say something!” Willow had jumped off her bed and ran over to me shaking my shoulder.

“Willow, I'm okay for now but I won’t be if you keep shaking me. You'll give me whiplash.” She looked apologetic before releasing me.

“Sorry. I knew something was up between you two. It wasn’t adding up and by the way I didn’t buy that, ‘I don’t want to be friends with you bull****’ for a second, but tell Keiran I said “nice try”.

“Willow, about that, I’m sorry I –”

“Don’t worry about it. I figured the only way I could help you now was to play along until you talked to me. So, what happened?” I ran down the story ending with the police arresting Keiran. “Wait…you said you were on the stairs when you heard the phone ring?” She was frowning now and I figured she was just upset.

“Yeah, what –”

“And you already saw the light cut off and footsteps downstairs before your phone rang?”

Yes. Willow –” She interrupted again holding up her hand to silence me.

“When you reached your room and grabbed the phone, I was the missed call?”

“Yes,” I stated simply knowing she didn't expect more than that.

“The only missed call?” I nodded this time, not bothering to say anything.

“It couldn't have been him.” I gave her a puzzled look and she explained. “Lake, I passed Keiran coming home from work. I stayed late to help with inventory.”

“Yeah, I told you, he dropped me off late after the party.”

She shook her head before stating, “I saw him turning down your street and that's when I called you. I figured he was coming to your house due to your recent “relationship”. I wanted to know what he was doing coming by so late.” She waggled her eyebrows suggestively but I only gaped at her as dread gut punched me and caused my head to swim. I leaned over placing my head between my knees, pissing Pepé off. He jumped off my lap and scurried out the room.

“Oh God. Oh no,” I chanted, rocking back and forth.

“Lake, no worries. We just go to the police and clear him.”

“No, you don't understand.” I sat upright and looked at Willow with tears in my eyes. “He'll kill her.”

* * *

Morning came and I had little sleep. I tossed and turned all night keeping Willow awake as well since we shared her bed. I didn't rush off to the station knowing the damage was already done but I didn't delay it too long either. I went home to shower and dress. Since I didn't know who the intruder was, I gratefully accepted Willow and Buddy’s offer to come with me.

Thirty minutes later I made my way to the station with Willow. She was still spooked over my confession last night. I regretted saying anything immediately but I knew the damage was already done when she freaked. I blew off her questions and went to bed. She has been giving me the silent treatment since then.

We arrived and entered the station hearing loud voices. The scene that greeted me immediately made me want to turn and run.

“You pigs just haven't had enough. Where is he? You don't have **** –” He stopped when he saw me, his eyes narrowed as they pinned me to the spot. Willow and I instinctively took a step back.

Dash shook his head before running a hand down his face. “You didn't have to do this, Lake. He never would have –”

“We don't have to explain ****!” Keenan roared, interrupting Dash.

“Young man, I need you to contain yourself before I throw your ass in jail along with your cousin.”

Sheldon burst through the door as the officer was reprimanding Keenan. “Keenan, stop being a douche. We don't know what happened,” she scolded.

“She's right, son. Settle down,” an older man stated.

“She won't get away with this Mr. Chambers. Not again.”

“Guy, you seriously need to chill. She's not after your precious cousin so settle down so we can do what we came to do.”

Willow had just laid down the law and if this were any other situation I would have found it amusing. Just then an officer came through with Keiran who looked tired in his rumpled clothing. He walked up to the desk to sign papers and collect his belongings. We immediately made eye contact and everything from last night came rushing back. I was so sure it was him that broke into my house to scare me.

“You are free to go, Mr. Masters.”

I frowned not understanding how he was already free to go. It was my understanding that they could hold someone for forty-eight hours without charges. Keiran was only here for eight. Don't get me wrong. I wanted him released but I hadn't even cleared him yet.

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“Yes. We apologize for the misunderstanding Mr. Chambers.”

“Can you believe this? As far as they know, Keiran broke into your house and they just released him because Dash’s old man pulled some strings? Unbelievable,” Willow whispered.

Mr. Chambers turned to me, sizing me up. “Think carefully about what you are about to do Ms. Monroe. You won’t succeed a second time.” With that they left the station and I began to breathe easier.

“Officer, I would like to make a statement to clear Keiran Masters. He was not the one to break into my house. I brought a witness to testify to that.”

The officer gave me a stern look before directing us to fill out the necessary paperwork. After heavy questioning we were able to leave the precinct. Willow kept glancing at me during the ride to school and I knew she was concerned.

“Lake, are you going to be okay?”

This turn of events definitely didn't look good for me. If I thought Keenan’s reaction was bad then, I knew Keiran’s would be ten times worse. “I don't know.”

* * *

We made it to school in time for Volleyball so we headed straight there. I didn't see any sign of Keiran when I arrived so I assumed he’d already went to class. I still had to face him at lunch so I wasn’t out of the water yet. I used the physical demand of Volleyball to distract me from the mental stress.

The class ended too quickly though and before I knew it I was dressed and biting my fingernails. I was expecting Keiran to pop up at any moment to terrorize me and hurl threats but he never came. Lunch was halfway over when I gave up on waiting. I headed to the cafeteria in search of him and found him seated at his normal table…with Anya in his lap.

The jealousy I felt was misplaced and I reminded myself that I wasn't his girlfriend and made my way over to his table. “Hey. I uh…waited for you back at Volleyball.”

Anya looked up at me and giggled, then whispered something behind her hand to Keiran. He smiled at her then kissed on her neck to which she began to moan. He ignored me completely so I looked around the table. Keenan was glaring at me while Sheldon looked at me apologetically.

“Look, about last night and this morning, I –”

“Monroe you seem to think we have something to discuss. We don’t. You seem to think we are in a relationship. We aren't.”

“It was a misunderstanding, but you won’t get into trouble. I cleared things up.”

He looked at me with his signature blank mask before stating, "You're free to go."

“Bye, Lacy,” Anya stated snidely. Everyone at the table erupted into laughter at her purposely mistaking my name. I ignored her cattiness and left the cafeteria.

I knew what he really meant with his last statement. He no longer wished to deal with me, but what did that mean for my aunt? I know I should be happy but I wasn't. I felt empty, like I just lost something. It was the same feeling I had when my parents disappeared. I shook my head at my stupi***y.

I can't lose something I never had.

* * *

“Lake, wait up!” I heard Sheldon call out to me but I kept walking. I didn't want to interact with anyone associated with Keiran right now. “Lake, stop. I swear I'll body slam you if you don't stop running from me!”

I stopped and turned around once I was on the other side of the school, far away from Keiran. “Sheldon, I can't do this. Not now.”

“Why are you always running? You don't have to let him win, you know.”

“What am I supposed to do?” I yelled. I was frustrated beyond my limit.

“Fight back,” she quipped.

“Why are you telling me this? He’s your friend.” I narrowed my eyes at her when she nodded.

“Yes, he is. They’re all my best friends. And we could be friends too if you’d let me. I'm not your enemy.”

“No, but you are in bed with my enemy. Besides, you have Anya and the other cheerleaders. Looks to me as if you have plenty of friends.”

She snorted, “I could always use better and I have a feeling you want more friends too.”

I shrugged. “Doesn't matter. Keiran would never let us be friends.”

“Keiran doesn't run me. I decide who I am friends with.”

“Keenan hates me, too.”

“No, Keenan loves his cousin.”

“How is that different?”

“His bond with his cousin makes him fight alongside Keiran and protect him, if need be.”

I looked at her suspiciously. This could be a trap Keiran set out to hurt me or get back at me. “Why are you so nice to me?”

“I don't know, Lake. Maybe because I like you and you've never done anything to me?”

“Still, wouldn't your friendship with them turn you against me? That's what friends do right? Protect each other and fight their battles?”

“And I would if I thought you were a threat.”

“Gee, thanks.”

“No offense, babe. So what do you say? Friends?” She held out her fist for a pound.

I studied her fist, thinking it over before finally giving her a pound. “Friends.” We’ll see.

Chapter Eleven

I got through fourth period mostly unscathed thanks to Willow and Sheldon. I sat two rows ahead of Keiran, which was still too close, but it was the only row left that allowed Willow and I to sit together.

Not even ten minutes had passed after class started when I'd felt something light hit my shoulder. I thought nothing of it until it happened again, this time on my back. I looked down to see two paper balls on the floor and then another hit my head.

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I heard, “Real mature, guys,” before a chair scraped and Sheldon came to sit with us. I'd looked back to see Keiran wearing a smug grin. Keenan had looked pissed and was glaring at Sheldon. He'd mumbled, “Traitor,” under his breath then rolled his eyes at me.

After school Sheldon and Willow rode with me to my house. Keenan threw a temper tantrum in the parking lot. I was annoyed but she just laughed when he yelled obscenities and kicked his car. We opted to watch a movie here instead of going out to the movies. We were sitting in the living room doing homework and having girl talk. It felt good. I had this with Willow but it felt nice to have it with someone else too. My friend count was now two.

Gee, Lake that has got to be a record. I laughed out loud at my private joke.

“What's so funny?” Willow asked. I just shook my head and closed my textbook.

“I'm done,” Sheldon announced. “So – the purple highlights? Did you do it yourself?” They've been discussing hair for the past ten minutes or so. Sheldon was in awe of Willow’s freedom to express herself. I wondered what or who was making her hold back who she really was.

“Yeah, I dd. I'm actually going to add in dark blue highlights too.”

“Way cool. I wish I could try that. My mom would have a heart attack.”

“I've been trying to get Lake over to the dark side but she won’t budge.”

“I don't know Willow, Lake’s got the innocent, big, blue-eyed look going for her. The guys dig her…in secret of course.”

"Yeah, I call her the Barbie Ballerina."

“Guys I'm sitting right here.”

“Yeah but you've been quiet. Thinking about a certain bad boy with a dark disposition?” Sheldon was still convinced that Keiran and I were more than enemies.

“That's a ship that will never sail, Sheldon.” Willow stated. “Lake is too accustomed to denying what she wants – out of fear…duty…protection.”

“You actually think Keiran and I should date?” I asked incredulously. “Since when?”

“I don’t, but you don’t date at all is what I’m saying.”

“I assure you it isn’t by choice.”

"So what is the deal between you and Keiran?” Sheldon asked. “All these years I knew he liked you but he also carried a grudge against you even before he went Juvie."

It's been something I've wondered about for ten years. Why did he hate me so much? What did I do? How could I fix it? My mind drew a blank every time and the tension between us became too thick to sever.

“I wish I knew,” I finally answered.

Sheldon shrugged, “Too bad. I'm sure it would have made a great bedtime story.” She rolled her eyes, making me laugh. “Did you hear about the random guy that crashed Keiran and Keenan’s party the other night?”

“The guys Keenan and your brother fought?”

“No, some guy that was dealing at the party. Keiran must have caught him because Dash said he had to keep him from killing the guy.”

“No way, what did he do?” Willow asked with a little too much excitement.

“He shoved some pills and alcohol down his throat and told him he might want to go get his stomach pumped.”

“Jeez! The guy could have died!” Willow exclaimed.

“A couple of the his buddies were there and drove him to the hospital. Keiran isn’t in prison for murder so I guess he’s okay. It’s just strange because this isn’t the first time Keiran has caught people dealing in his place but it is the first time he’s reacted this strongly. I can’t believe you missed it, Lake.”

“Oh, yeah. I uh, went upstairs and kind of fell asleep.” I acted nonchalant about it but really I was freaking out in my head. It had to be the same guy that offered to drug me. The guy was a tool but what Keiran did was dangerous and illegal. I mean, what if the guy had died? There was a party full of witnesses who could point their finger, including my aunt.

"I'm curious to know how you and Keenan got together,” Willow stated and I realized I’d missed part of the conversation. “He seems so…pushy.”

“When he doesn't get his way. Then my baby asks like a two-year old whose favorite toy was stolen but he is a sweetie pie at heart. He acts out but I think it’s to get his father’s attention. His mother died in a car accident when he was seven and his father just checked out. Not a lot of emotional love shared in the Masters house.”

“So where are Keiran’s parents? I mean, how did his uncle become his guardian?” Willow was asking all the questions but I would be damned if I wasn't listening.

“Keenan said his father, refuses to talk about his brother but apparently Keiran’s mother was one of the brother’s two-bit one night stands who left Keiran on John’s doorstep when he was eight.”

“So why Keenan’s father and not the brother?”

“I guess she couldn’t find him. Keenan said he’d never met his uncle so I guess that also explains why John didn’t hand him over to his brother. He probably can’t find him either or didn’t try if their relationship took a turn for the worse.”

“What’s the brother’s name?” I asked.

“Can’t remember but I’m pretty sure it started with an ‘M’. My parents did tell me that none of them are originally from Six Forks. John moved here a long time ago and lived alone until one day he brought home a woman and a baby. He was never even seen with a wife or girlfriend before and then seven years later, Keiran pops up.”

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She sat silent for a moment, thinking. “Crazy enough, but Keenan said his mother ran off around the same time Keiran was found. He didn't even know he had a cousin and that his father never mentioned a brother before. I guess they didn't get along. He told me about the day John brought him home. He said he knew Keiran wasn’t normal…truth be told, I think Keenan was afraid of him. He never said it, but the way he would describe Keiran and the look he would get in his eyes… ” She looked thoughtful as her words trailed off.

I can relate. “What about her relatives? Maybe she went home,” I said.

Sheldon’s forehead wrinkled from her deep frown and I found myself leaning forward in anticipation. “I guess she didn’t go there either…or maybe she did. But Keenan has never met them.”

“Wow…I never thought I would ever feel a twinge of sympathy for Keenan…or Keiran.” Willow looked sad as she spoke.

“Uh huh, so what about you and my brother? He's got it bad for you,” Sheldon asked.

“There is nothing to tell. Dash is chasing ass. He's too much of a playboy.”

“So you're saying you want something serious with him?” Willow blushed as if she'd just been caught. Did she have feelings for him?

“No, I meant –” she paused as if thinking over her words. "I don't want to – I just can't."

“I know my brother. He is a charmer but he is a manipulative son of a bitch when it comes to something he wants. He got that from our father. This is the first time I’ve actually witnessed him chase someone. So if you don't want to be a part of something with him, then I suggest you be sure, because one thing Dash can detect is bull****.”

After Willow and Sheldon left I called my aunt and spoke to her for a while. She reminded me that she was flying to her next tour stop in the morning before we said our goodnights. I quickly fixed something to eat and was channel surfing when the doorbell rang. I frowned wondering who would be coming over when I saw Willow’s notebook on the coffee table. I shook my head and grabbed her tablet. Willow was a forgetful person and would always leave stuff behind.

I opened the door with a smile. “Something here belong to you, Will –”

“Something here does belong to me but I promise it isn’t a tablet.”

* * *

Keiran was the last person I expected to see standing at my door considering last night and today. “What are you doing here?”

“You know why I’m here.”

I tried to close the door but his booted foot kept it from shutting as he shouldered his way in causing me to lose my grip on the door and stumble. He caught me before I could fall and hauled me close to his chest.

“You said we didn’t – you didn’t –” The purpose in his eyes as he held me was both provocative and scary.

“I said we had nothing to talk about. We don’t. I said we weren’t in a relationship. We aren’t.”

“Yes, but –”

“I never said you didn’t owe me your body because you damn well do and I’m here to collect.”

“I don’t owe you anything,” I said through clenched teeth.

His lips crashed down on mine and for a moment I gave in to him and let my desires show before I snatched away. He grinned and said, “We’ll see about that in the morning.” He turned me around and pushed me toward the stairs. When we reached my bedroom he dropped the bag I didn’t notice he was carrying and locked the door.

“What happened last night?” he asked as he removed his hoodie.

“I told you it was a misunderstanding. Someone was here. They broke in and chased me up the stairs but I locked myself in. I’m sorry I never saw who it was and then you were here I just –”

“Did he hurt you?” His voice sounded neutral but the tick in his jaw made me curious even when his question pissed me off.

“No more than you have for ten years. I grew thick skin.”

I don’t know what made me snap at him but I knew it was the wrong answer when his shoulders tensed and his hands balled into fists so hard the veins were bulging and straining against his skin. I didn’t believe the tension in the air could grow any thicker.

Me and my mouth.

“Is that right?” My body and entire nerve system went on alert at the chilling way he asked the question. I carefully backed away for the door, feeling sweat form around my face even as my body went cold and the hairs around my neck stood up. “I guess we are about to see just how thick…your skin has gotten.”

I bolted for the door but didn’t so much as get my hand on the door before I was snatched away and then I was flying. I landed on the soft spread of my bed and shot upright. He was already standing at the foot of my bed, watching me as he lifted his shirt from his chest and dropped it on the floor.

“Wait! I’m not ready.”

“Tough ****, Monroe. You had a year to get ready.” How could I have known this would happen? I knew he would be mad but this…

“Can we talk about this?”

“I’m done talking. It’s time to ****.” I reared back, feeling both appalled and turned on by his crude behavior. I searched his eyes one last time but didn’t find any mercy in them.

“I’ll fight you,” I warned him, half-heartedly.

“You won’t win if I fight back.”

“Don’t do this.”

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“I have every intention of doing this. I have since the first time you looked at me with the same need that I felt every damn day.”

“What are you talking about? I never –”

“I read your journal,” he interrupted with a smirk. My heart stopped in chest. Or was it beating so loud that I couldn’t hear it anymore?

He read my journal.

That meant he knew every single emotion or thought I ever felt or had about him. That also meant he knew about my parents.

“Have you ever thought about being a writer? You’re very…descriptive. I particularly liked the entries dated, August 17th and May 27th. Those dates mean anything to you?” he grinned at me but the smile didn’t reach his eyes.

I dropped my head, knowing exactly what dates he was referring to. The day I realized I desired him and the day before he was arrested. They were both during the same school year.

“You’re a monster.”

“And you’re a liar.” He began removing his belt from his jeans. It was the same one from last night. My wrists still held the imprint of the skulls and were red and puffy.

“I didn’t lie.”

“Come here.”

“No.”

He sighed as if I were little more than a nuisance and then he was suddenly on the bed, dragging me to the edge of the bed and pulling me up. “Suit yourself,” he whispered against my lips.

“Don’t –” He gripped my waist tighter in warning.

My top was quickly unbuttoned and tossed away. The cold air hit my bare chest, hardening my nipples just before his head lowered and his mouth was on me, sucking. My back instinctively arched from the sensation, pressing my breasts into his mouth further. A sharp sting from his bite had me gasping and grabbing onto his head for balance as I felt my whole world shift from that little spice of pain.

The next moment, I was on my back and his hands at my shorts, pulling them off my hips and down my legs until they disappeared over the bed. The dark look of determination on his face scared me even as my body prepared to take him. I couldn’t deny or hide the evidence of my arousal. I didn’t understand all that what was happening or what was wrong with me. I tried reminding myself of all the horrible things he’d done and planned to do, but none of it worked.

When he reached for my panties, I finally got ahold of my senses, and grabbed onto his hands to stop him, but he took those away from me too and I was left bare and shaking on my bed. I should be screaming and yelling and cursing, but I wasn’t. Instead I watched him devour my body with his eyes and I could see a hint of approval in them.

He pulled me up again and ordered me to finish undressing him. I reached for his jeans with nervous hands and unbuttoned him and slid the zipper down. I grabbed onto the waist of his jeans with both hands and slid them down his legs all the while keeping my eyes on his, letting him see my disdain and praying I was shielding my hunger.

“You can keep fighting it, Monroe, but my dick will be deep inside you before the night is over. We have all night. There is no one here to save you. No one to hear you scream. No one to see you come.” A slow, steady throb began between my legs from his threat. “Lay down and spread your legs for me.”

I scooted back toward the headboard and slowly lowered my back to the mattress. I stared up at the ceiling while I spread my legs for him. I knew he could see my arousal.

“Look at me,” he demanded. I let my gaze travel to his face and saw the anger there. “Don’t hide from me,” he growled.

“You should be used to it by now. I’ve hidden from you my entire life.”

The deep hatred that flashed in his eyes, more than I’ve ever seen before, was my only warning. He covered my body with his and forced my thighs open wider to accommodate him. I could feel the head of his **** poised at my entrance as he grabbed a hand full of my hair in his hand and leaned down to place his lips at my ear.

“I’m going to **** you now and when you’ve had more than you can take, I’m going to do it all over again, and I won’t let up, no matter how much you beg me to.”

I looked into his eyes and couldn’t see any hint of remorse, only angry lust. The past ten years rushed back to me all at once and it felt like a punch to the gut. How could I ever think to desire him? He threatened my aunt; he tried to take away Willow. I hated him.

“When this is all over –” My voice caught in my throat as he began entering me. I already felt so full. “and you realize the mistake your making, it will be me who makes you beg, and I won’t stop until I bring you to your ****ing knees.”

He stopped and stared back at me, his eyes searching mine, before he finally spoke, his voice chilling. “Thank you, Monroe. You almost made this hard for me.”

It felt as if the loud cry I releases came straight from my soul when he slammed into me. Shock and pain, took over my body as he took my virginity. I clutched his shoulders and tried to push him away but he seized my wrists in his fists and locked them against the mattress.

“****,” he groaned. Thankfully, he didn’t move. His body was still on top of mine as we watched me closely.

I shook my head, feverishly. “I can’t –”

“You can and you will. Take me, baby.”

He continued to bury himself deeper and deeper inside me while staring into my eyes and I knew he wanted me to feel his possession and I did. I felt him everywhere. When he began a slow, steady thrust into my body it sent my senses shooting off into space. Pain began to fade and pleasure took over.

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When his pace increased, he wrapped my legs around his waist and bit into my neck. The little bite of pain caused me to flood his **** and suddenly his control seemed to snap and he began pounding me into the mattress, driving us both insane.

“Oh God!” I moaned when it became unbearable.

“Do you feel that?” he asked as he destroyed me with deep strokes that took my breath away. “That’s me owning your *****, baby. Me. Not God,” he growled.

He lifted his weight off my body and planted his fists by my head and continued his, long, deep, forceful thrusts with powerful hips that pushed me up the bed. The headboard began a steady beat against the wall, threatening to burst straight through it. I began thrashing and flailing around him, fighting not only him but also the sensations he was creating within me.

“It’s too much,” I cried.

“No.” He reared up, bringing me with him until he was sitting on his haunches and I was in his lap. “It’s not enough,” he groaned against my neck.

Our new position buried his **** so much deeper inside my walls that I felt like I would suffocate. His lips took control of mine in a tangle of tongue and teeth and passion.

I was lost.

So lost in his potent kiss that I wasn’t prepared for when he gripped my hips and rammed his **** up into me, stealing away my breath and inhibitions.

I screamed.

I screamed for so long that my screams were no longer that. They became hoarse whimpers that barely made a sound. The sweat and heat of his body mingled with mine and I felt drunk.

“Please,” I finally whispered. He continued to thrust into me with a grind that added a friction I couldn’t get enough of.

“Tell me, Monroe. What do you need?”

“I need…I need to come.”

“You think you deserve to come?” He kissed the top of my breasts, taking small bites into the heavy mounds pressed hard against his chest. He was back in control now that I had become unhinged. I know what he wanted.

“Only if you want me to.”

The lust and hunger that raged within the depth of his eyes frightened and turned me on. “Ask me properly,” he ordered and deepened his thrusts.

“Please make me come.”

“I’m going to do more than make you come, Monroe. I’m going to mark every sweet inch of your ****ing body – inside and out, and when I’m done, you’ll know who you owns you.”

But instead of ****ing me harder like my body seemed to need he slowed his hips to a steady pace. “I’ve been picturing you like this for a long time, Monroe. Just like this. Hot and wet and open for me. Taking my ****, like a good girl.”

His hand came around between us and began rubbing my clit just as his tempo increased and he was once again pounding up into me mercilessly. My cries for release were deafening as my body yielded to his. The need to come was there but for some reason release evaded me.

“Come for me,” he finally commanded and surged into me one last time, lifting my knees from the bed as he did. My screams rent through the air and I felt my walls suck at him, pulling his release from his body as he shuddered above me and gripped my hips tightly.

“You’re mine now…” he warned.

* * *

“Wake up.” My body shook from the heavy hand snatching me out of a deep sleep. All at once, before I could even open my eyes, the night before came rushing back along the obvious signs of hard *** in my aching muscles. After we had *** Keiran seemed almost human. He had been staring into my eyes for a long time after we finally caught our breath. The moment was gone when he blinked once and excused himself.

It all went downhill after that when I received two phone calls. The first phone call was from Willow, looking for her tablet. The second was Jesse.

I answered the phone just as Keiran returned from the bathroom. He’d held a warm cloth in his hand but tossed it away before taking the phone from my hands and hung up on him. He reached for me and I foolishly went to him thinking it would be like before. But it wasn’t. He was cold, hard, and merciless when he took me.

He didn’t let up until a couple of hours ago. If a girl ever imagined how her first night would be I’m sure it was not in that way. I was partly to blame though…I never told him no.

I finally opened my eyes to see him staring down at me and looking dark, sinful, and unobtainable, with his mussed bed hair. He was shirtless but wearing jeans and I could tell he’d already been up. Or never went to sleep. I’d passed out from exhaustion and the unfamiliar stress on my body last night so I didn’t know much of what happened after he finally eased up on me.

Half asleep, I dragged myself off the bed and trudged into the bathroom with the sheets wrapped around me. However, once I dropped the sheet and took one look in the mirror, the sight that greeted me shocked me awake. There were red marks and bites all over my skin. I felt every last one of them but that didn’t make seeing them any less disturbing.

I touched one of the marks and winced from the dull pain. “What are you doing?” I jumped at the sudden sound of his voice directly behind me.

“Why are you sneaking up on me?”

“Hurry up. We’re going to be late.”

“I don’t think I can go to school.”

“Why not?” He sounded annoyed and disinterested but I answered him anyway.

“Maybe because it looks like I’ve been beaten?” I didn’t attempt to hide the disdain I felt.

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“You came, didn’t you? Many times as I recall.”

“You do realize you blackmailed me into *** right?”

“Keep telling yourself that,” he smirked.

“You should have stayed away,” I whispered, my eyes lowering.

“Maybe. But I didn’t. This was always going to happen, Monroe. I told you that…I made breakfast, by the way.” He changed the subject and gave me a warning look.

I couldn’t conceal the look of surprise that crossed my face. “You did?”

He stared at me blankly. “I was hungry,” he shrugged.

“Right.” Silly me, thinking he would do something nice after the night we had. But you enjoyed it too. I shook off the unwanted thoughts and turned the shower on. I stepped in and knew he was still there even though my back was turned. “Are you planning to watch me shower?”

“And if I do?” he leaned against the door and crossed his arms, watching me through the glass door. I didn’t reply, knowing he was baiting me, looking for an excuse to strike but then…he never needed one in the past.

“This isn’t the first time I caught you in the shower, you know.”

“What?” I turned around in surprise, forgetting my attempt to ignore him.

“I was the one who stole your clothes two years back.”

“That was you? I mean…I knew you had something to do with it but you actually went into the girls’ locker room?”

He rolled his eyes and stuffed his hands in his pockets. “It wasn’t the first time I’ve been in the girls’ locker room, Monroe.”

“Why else would you—oh.” My cheeks turned red and I felt a pang followed by anger but I didn’t understand why.

“You look jealous.”

Jealous? I wasn’t, was I?

“I’m not.”

“Is that another lie?” His voice lowered to a level that screamed ‘danger’.

I chose to remain silent and finished lathering my body. When his phone broke the silence, he finally left the bathroom to my relief. I quickly washed my hair before stepping out. I dressed and used some of my aunt’s makeup to cover the visible marks and made by way downstairs. When I entered the kitchen he ended his phone call and pushed a plate full of food towards me. I couldn’t deny how good the food looked and smelled.

“You can cook?” He grunted and continued tapping the keyboard, ignoring me. “I want to talk to my aunt. How do I know you didn’t have something done to her?”

“You don’t,” he replied tersely. “Do what the hell I say and you won’t have anything to worry about.”

“That’s bull****!” I yelled.

He slowly looked up from his phone and I snapped my mouth close. When he slid his phone over to me and I picked it up cautiously. On the screen was a picture of my Aunt at an airport. “This doesn’t prove anything,” I stated.

“That’s all your getting. Let’s go.”

“But I didn’t eat my food yet.”

“Bring it with you.”

* * *

“You had an orgasm today!”

I spit out the drink I just took a sip of and shot Charlie a murderous look.

“Now, now. Don’t look at me like that with those magnificent blue-green eyes. There’s no need to be a prude about it. Everyone has orgasms and the one’s who don’t…God bless their souls.”

“Why would you say that?”

“Because it’s all over your face. Who he is? I want details and don’t forget the dirty ones.”

I didn’t quite know if it was a good idea to share my blossoming *** life with my boss but I didn’t think it would be fair to hold out. He cared so much about me finding love or as he put it “A really good stick to ride.” Charlie was as crass as he was flamboyant.

Lucky for me I was saved from answering by Mr. Martin coming through the door. “You know I think that man is up to something,” Charlie whispered while eyeing the older man. “He only shows when you’re here and I never see him actually work out. I think you have a secret admirer, Lake.”

“What? He is old enough to be my father and half a grandfather.”

“So he’s sugar daddy material.”

“As if. Maybe he’s here for you.”

“Honey, he never even glances at me. What does he talk to you about anyway?”

“Nothing much. He is always polite and usually just asks me about school.” I didn’t want to tell him about the time he asked if I was dating anyone. It would only encourage Charlie. I made my way to the reception desk to check him in.

“Good evening, Mr. Martin.”

“Ah, Lake. How are you today?” Well I spent the night being ****ed senseless for the first time, so peachy.

“Peachy. And yourself?”

“Oh the usual. Just passing through.” Yeah, why is that? “Any new developments?”

“Uh, no. Nothing new,” I lied.

“As beautiful as you are young lady, I find it hard to believe that you don’t have someone special.”

“Oh, um. Thank you.” I think.

“Is there someone special? Someone you go to school with?”

“No…” His persistent questions started making me nervous. Please don’t tell me this guy is a creep.

“There is nothing to be ashamed of. You can tell me.” His insistence on knowing about my love life was making me uncomfortable.

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“Enjoy your visit, Mr. Martin.” I handed him back his membership card and gave him a fake smile that he seemed to see right through.

“I suppose. I’ll be seeing you, Lake.” He started for the locker rooms and I knew I wouldn’t see him again until next time.

My phone vibrated in my back pocket so I fished it out.

K: Where the **** r u?

Lake: Working. A girl's gotta eat.

K: Monroe…

Lake: Yes?

K: Where. R. U?

Lake: The gym

He didn’t text back after that so I went back to working. I ended up talking to one of the regulars that Charlie tried to hook me up with on numerous occasions, despite the fact that I just became legal two days ago. He was one of those guys whose muscles had muscles. It made me appreciate Keiran’s body even more. He was lean and muscular and natural.

And not yours.

“Am I any closer to getting you to agree to go out with me? I can show you a really good time if you let me.” I had the feeling he wasn’t just talking about dinner and movie.

“Thanks Chad, but I’m –”

“Taken,” a voice bit out behind me. I knew who it was without turning around. He always did have a knack for sneaking up on me.

“Somehow I don’t think that’s what the lady was about to say. So why don’t you run along, little boy.”

“I’m saying it for her. She’s mine. You want to try to take her from me?” He fists clenched as he stepped toe to toe which Chad.

Was he seriously trying to start a fight?

I looked around for Charlie who seemed to have disappeared. There was no way I would be able to stop them if they fought so I had to try to defuse the situation.

“She doesn’t look like yours. Otherwise she wouldn’t have been over here flirting with my dick.” The words were barely out of Chad’s mouth before he was flipped over the weight bench by a fierce right hook from Keiran. I was pretty sure I saw a couple of teeth fly too.

“Stop! What the hell do you think you are doing?” I grabbed onto Keiran’s arm to stop him from pursuing Chad who was still laid out on the floor, motionless. He ripped his arm away and glared down at me, his face a mask of uncontrolled fury.

“Get your **** and let’s go.”

“What? No.”

“Monroe!” he roared and I nearly jumped out of my skin. His temple was throbbing again and he looked ready to strangle me. Charlie had finally appeared and was attempting to revive Chad.

“I can’t leave my job. Are you insane?”

As soon as the words were out I was hauled over his shoulder and being carted out of the door. A gym full of people and no one stepped forward to stop the unstable teen. Unbelievable. His challenger was double parked outside with the engine running. Something told me he was already planning to do this. It made me long for the Keiran who bullied me from a distance.

“Why did you come here? I told you I was working,” I said while he dumped me into the backseat. A second later I heard the locks engage and he was walking back inside the gym. I unlocked the door and tried to open it but it wouldn’t budge so I tried the other and it did the same. Did he freaking child lock me in?

I contemplated kicking the window in for payback but knew that I wouldn’t get far before he caught me so I climbed into the front seat and by the time I was opening the door, he was walking back out. I hurried back into the backseat but it was too late. He’d already caught me trying to escape.

“How long have you been working there?”

“A year. What gives you the right to jeopardize my job like that? I could be fired.”

“I already took care of that.”

“What?”

“I told them you quit. You aren’t going back there.”

* * *

I told my aunt I had really bad stomach pains and couldn’t talk long when she called. It was partially true although the real reason was more because of Keiran. He watched me like a hawk when I talked to her and I didn’t want to risk my aunt detecting something wrong so I kept the call short.

He immediately left when I ended the call, saying he had to go out of town, but took my car keys with a warning to stay and that he would be back. I didn’t understand him. Why go through all that trouble to find me if he wasn’t going to stick around? I thought for sure he would demand *** although I didn’t think my body could handle another night like last night. I could feel the soreness between my thighs even now.

I thought about calling the gym and apologizing for what happened and maybe even begging to keep my job but the humiliation was too fresh so I put it off for tomorrow and decided to do homework instead. I had to stay ahead so I wouldn’t fall behind. I wished my parents could see me now. They were so devastated when I was diagnosed with dyslexia. It was one of my clearest memories. I learned that it wasn’t the end of the world when I realized that the disability to learn normally didn’t mean an inability to learn. One thing it did make me do was appreciate learning and education more. It was why I want to become a teacher. Dyslexia wasn’t something that I could outgrow but it was something that I could conquer.

I was in the living room searching for my favorite writing pen my aunt bought me on one of her trips when I noticed the corner of something black peeking out from underneath the couch near the side table. I bent to pick up the object, realizing it was an envelope addressed to me.

There was a birthday card inside so I flipped open the card and what I saw caused my heart to stop and I felt gut punched. Inside was a picture of a little girl.

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A dead girl.

Her hair was blonde and she looked to be no more than six or seven years old. The edges were ragged and worn from time or rough handling so the picture might have been a few years old. The bleeding hole in her head had me fighting back the need to vomit. I inspected the card but didn’t see any sign of a signature or idea of who the card came from. My mind raced to figure out who the card could have come from and how it got here.

The break in!

It was the only thing that made sense. Since then I have argued over the reasons why someone would break into an occupied house. They did it to leave this note. I searched the picture for a clue but came up empty. I was sure I’d never seen the girl before so why would someone leave me a picture of her corpse?

When a realization centered in my mind the envelope fell from my hand and drifted to the floor. This would mean the break in wasn’t random. Oh ****. I picked up the card and flipped it over to inspect the back and read the words that sealed my fate.

This is your only warning.

Chapter Twelve

Regret and nervousness had me looking over my shoulder once again. “I shouldn’t have come. Why did I let you talk me into this?”

“Calm down, Lake. It’s Saturday and it’s just a football game. He probably won’t even be here. But if he tries to bully you we’ll leave, okay?”

How did I tell her that it wasn’t bullying I was worried about? That Keiran was using *** and death threats to torment me now? I agreed to come out here because I owed Willow and I missed her. Besides Keiran said he was going out of town. He didn’t say when he’d be back but I assumed it was for the weekend because I haven’t heard from him since he left me stranded in my house.

The house that had been too quiet and the guilt that was weighing in on me, not to mention the creepy birthday card all also caused me to break out of my cage. The house I shared with my aunt used to be my safe haven, but Keiran had managed to turn that against me as well.

I still haven’t told my aunt about the break in after she called again to check in on me. With her tour, I didn’t want her to worry or worse, cancel, so I put it off for now. Besides, I still believe that if she was gone she was safer where Keiran couldn’t get to her.

“Okay,” I finally replied as we entered the gate. There was no going back now, I thought as I released a heart breath. “But aren’t you avoiding Dash?”

“Yes, but I refuse to let him keep me from living.” Willow was right of course but it wasn’t that simple for me.

Keiran now controls every aspect of my life. Actually he always has. Every decision I’ve ever made for ten years began and ended with how best to avoid him, even though he always found me. Just like I knew he would tonight. I came because I owed Willow. Despite her understanding, I know it hurt her.

The area around the football field was crowded with what seemed to be the entire town as well as surrounding towns. Bainbridge usually had a great turnout because our school’s athletics are the best in the state. I’d only ever been to one game before and that was when Keiran was in juvie and Willow begged me to go with her.

“Do you see the crowd? Maybe you won’t even run into him, if he’s even here.” But what about the hundred or so other people in the past who would run to tell Keiran whenever I was in the vicinity? How did I dodge them all? “Sheldon wants us to meet her at the concession stand. She said it’s urgent,” Willow said looking at her phone with a frown.

It took us a while to maneuver through all the people but we finally made it to the concession stand that was also crowded by people. The smell of popcorn and hot dogs greeted me as we approached. Sheldon was standing there in her green and white cheerleading uniform with a bottle of water in her hand.

“Hey Sheldon.”

She looked up and quickly walked over to us. “Keiran is here and much worse, he knows you’re here. He’s coming for you.”

I stared at her, wordlessly. I wasn’t surprised. I knew this would happen. I didn’t understand it but I wasn’t surprised. “But we just walked in,” Willow stated, looking at me apologetically.

“You know Keiran has his goons posted everywhere. They probably spotted you and called him the moment you stepped foot in the parking lot.”

“I should go,” I finally replied.

“You shouldn’t have come in the first place,” his deep voice said somewhere behind me. Willow and Sheldon jumped in surprise and I slowly turned around to face him. He was in the shadows, leaning against the back of the metal stands and dressed in a red, long-sleeve shirt and black jeans. He looked mouthwatering.

He swaggered over to me, grabbed my elbow, and walked away with me without another word. It took a second for me to realize that it wasn’t to the exit. I looked back, helplessly to see that Keenan and Dash had also appeared out of nowhere.

Keenan looked like he was chewing out Sheldon and I knew it was because she was helping me. Dash had Willow pinned against the wall of the concession side. They were hidden in the shadows but a little glimmer from the stadium lights allowed me to see that he had her hands pinned above her head and he was saying something to her.

They quickly disappeared from sight as we rounded a corner so I focused my attention back on Keiran. His face was set in a hard mask and his shoulders and back was tense as he walked. The sound of the game—and the witnesses—seemed far away when he led us a short distance away from the stands.