[English] HUNTING LILA

Hunting Lila
Page 11



He pulled his hand back. ‘Sorry.’

Actually, I was the sorry one. I could have stood there all night and a little bit longer. I yanked the T-shirt down and twisted around so Alex couldn’t see the bruise anymore, embarrassed now to look him in the face in case he saw in my eyes the lies I was about to tell him.

But Alex only moved silently to the fridge, opened it and pulled something out of the freezer tray. Then he turned back, reaching for a towel hanging on the side. He wrapped the ice pack up tight and then, with his hand on my shoulder, edged me backwards into a chair. He knelt down and pressed the towel against my leg. I yelped at the sudden cold but he ignored me, taking my hand and placing it on top of the pack so I could hold it in place.

He looked up at me now. ‘What happened to you?’

‘It’s no big deal,’ I answered.

He stood up slowly. ‘So, why won’t you tell me?’ A small frown line appeared between his eyes. ‘What happened? Is this anything to do with why you’re here?’

I realised then that I couldn’t laugh it off. He knew me too well to know when I was lying. And maybe a little part of me, the part weakened by the touch of his fingers on my leg, wanted to tell him.

‘OK, I’ll tell you – but you have to promise not to say a word to Jack or I’m not spilling a thing.’

‘I don’t like keeping secrets from Jack.’

‘What are you guys – married or something? Promise, or I’m not telling.’ He didn’t say anything so I made to get up out of the chair.

He took a half-step forward as if to stop me. ‘OK, OK, I won’t tell him.’

‘Good.’ I paused. ‘I was mugged. Two kids on bikes. They slammed into me. It’s not important.’

He stared at me, his eyes narrowing. ‘So why didn’t you just tell us?’ he asked quietly.

I swallowed. ‘Because I know exactly how Jack would have reacted. You know if he finds out he’ll want to get on the next plane over and go find them. You know what he’s like.’ I took a breath. ‘Look, you two can’t go around protecting me my whole life. I can take care of myself. You have special Marine stuff to do – you know, important Mission-Impossible-saving-the-world type stuff. I don’t think babysitting little sisters qualifies in that category and, besides, if you were babysitting me you wouldn’t get to blow stuff up.’

I looked at Alex and noticed his jaw was set and his lips pressed together in a hard line. Not necessarily a good sign.

I tried again, as he still hadn’t said anything. ‘You don’t need to worry about me. Like I said, I can take care of myself. I dealt with it. They didn’t even get my iPod.’

His eyes widened. ‘What? HOW did you deal with it?’

My cheeks filled up like a pufferfish and I let the air out in a rush. ‘Um, I guess I’m just pretty damn ninja.’

I waited for the next question. Alex seemed to be absorbing this last bit of information. Perhaps he was imagining me doing some crazy roundhouse moves. I braced myself for another round of quick-fire questions, wondering why I’d opened my mouth in the first place.

Eventually, he broke the silence. ‘We don’t blow stuff up.’

‘You don’t?’

‘No.’

I was grateful for the change of subject.

‘What do you do, then? I thought you were some special unit – don’t special units have a remit to blow things up?’

I didn’t want him to answer. I didn’t really want to know what Jack and Alex did as a day job. My only reference for the shady world of special operations was gleaned from 24 and Bond movies. The thought of either of them getting hurt caused me actual physical pain, a stabbing feeling between my ribs that stopped me breathing, to be exact – so long ago I’d created a Disney version of what a special operations unit was. It involved animals that talked and burst into tune at any given moment and old ladies needing help to cross the road.

‘You’d be surprised by our remit,’ Alex said. A sardonic smile twitched at the corner of his mouth then vanished, to be replaced again by a frown. ‘You should get back to bed,’ he suddenly said. ‘You must be exhausted.’

I sighed. He was right. I could feel the leaden weight of exhaustion starting to pull me down. I wanted to kiss him goodnight but he stayed where he was, leaning against the counter, arms folded against his chest, and I didn’t have the guts to walk over to him.

‘Yeah, I should.’ I paused, then added, ‘Night, Alex.’

‘I’ll be here on the couch if you need anything. Sleep well.’

I turned towards the hallway and my bed, wondering how he’d take it if I told him the only thing I needed was him – and whether, if he knew that, he’d take back the offer.

5

I was up late the next morning, it was gone eleven. Hot yellow light was billowing in through the window. I threw the cover off and stretched, feeling completely awake and deliciously languid. As I did so, my hand came into contact with a folded piece of paper on the pillow next to my head. I squinted at the familiar writing.

Lila

You requested a note next time. I’ve had to go. I didn’t want to wake you, you seemed so peaceful. Jack should be home by the time you read this. I’ll see you later.

Alex

He’d actually come into my room. I contemplated that as I surveyed my sprawl across the bed. The sheets were strewn half across the floor. My – rather his – T-shirt had ridden up over my hip on one side exposing a triangle of back and giving a pretty good view of my underwear. I hoped I hadn’t been kicking or yelling in my sleep but I didn’t remember any more nightmares. I read the note for a third time. He had said I looked peaceful, so hopefully that meant silent. And beatific. Or maybe not. I didn’t want to look saintly to him – I wanted to look ***y. The two didn’t seem compatible as adjectives. Oh God, I had to switch my head off.

Hunting Lila
Page 12



I decided to take a run in an effort to turn down the chatter in my brain. I got up, took a few minutes in the bathroom then threw on a pair of shorts that covered my bruise nicely and a T-shirt. I did the laces up on my running shoes and headed down the stairs, gathering my hair into a ponytail as I went.

‘Jack?’ I yelled.

My voice echoed back at me. The house was empty, the silence hummed. I guessed he was still at work – he sure worked some crazy hours.

I stepped out into the midday Californian heat, shutting the door behind me, and took off in the direction of the ocean.

My mind stilled itself, drifting into a consciousness that registered only the rhythmic smack of my feet hitting the concrete, the dry rustle of the palm fronds along the street and the distant sounds of lazy traffic. I kept on until the Alex chatter had reduced to background noise and then I looped back to the house.

As I rounded the corner of the street, I pushed into a sprint for the final fifty metres, desperate to reach the shade of the porch and get out of the bleaching sun, which was drilling like a laser through the top of my skull. A dark shape caught my eye on the veranda by the front door. As I came closer I saw it was a girl, crouching awkwardly as she peered through the letter box. She was wearing a short black-and-white dress, her bare legs flashing like pearls in the shadows. What was she doing?

I scanned the street quickly, my feet still driving me forward but my pulse now elevated beyond the high of my run. All around was a perfectly normal suburban scene: children playing in a backyard, the cicada hiss of water sprinklers. It was ridiculous of me to panic. She was just a girl. I couldn’t let two kids with a knife terrorise my thoughts for the rest of my life.

The slap of my feet on the pavement alerted her and she whipped around to face me, poised and alert as a cat with its back arched. When she saw me though, her pose relaxed, her shoulders dropped and a slow smile crept onto her face. I came to a stop at the bottom of the veranda steps.

‘Can I help you?’ I panted, squinting up at her.

My first impression was of someone who looked like she’d jumped straight out of a manga cartoon. She was drawn with fast, jagged lines, from the sharp slash of her cheekbones to the zigzag shapes of her dress. She was teetering on three-inch platform heels that gave the impression she was balanced on stilts. Her hair was cut sharply into a jet-black bob that followed the angle of her jaw and sheathed her face on either side. She had straight black eyebrows and dark gold eyes fringed by spidery lashes. I wondered if it was Sara but she certainly didn’t look like a neuroscientist, that was for sure, more like a Japanese superhero – she was stunning, to the point of not seeming real – and she was eyeing me as though I was a little bird she was deciding whether or not to pounce on.

As I waited for a response of some description, she tilted her head to one side like she could hear a noise from somewhere behind the house and her eyes narrowed. She looked me up and down.

‘You live here?’ she asked in a voice like glitter.

‘Yeah,’ I nodded, wiping the sweat away from my brow with the back of my arm. ‘Can I help you?’

She danced down the steps, springing towards me so fast I was forced to take a step back.

She smiled wide, baring her little white teeth at me. ‘I think maybe you can. I was looking for Jack,’ she said brightly.

Now it clicked. For all Jack’s words about monogamy, clearly he’d been up to something with this girl. Leopards and spots, after all.

I was disappointed and it came through in my voice. ‘I’m his sister.’

She seemed delighted to hear it, glad that I wasn’t a rival, I guess. I knew the routine and waited. This was the point where girls would switch in*****ck-up mode and start to ask me what his favourite bands were and what star sign he was.

‘Nice to meet you, Jack’s sister. I’m Suki.’ She held out her hand.

‘Hi, I’m Lila,’ I said, reaching out my hand to shake hers reflexively. I was stumped still as to who exactly she was and what she had been doing peering through our letter box. That was stalker behaviour. ‘So, um, should I tell him you called round?’

She didn’t reply and neither did she let go of my hand. Her grip tightened minutely as she stared at me with a weird transfixed look on her face. I was seriously going to bring this up with Jack. Where was he hanging out to pick up girls like this?

Then suddenly she was back in the moment, shaking her head and laughing her dainty little laugh. ‘No, don’t you worry about that. I doubt he remembers me anyhow.’

She gave me another big smile and skipped off down the road, pausing once to look back at me over her shoulder with an expression of childish glee which lit up her face.

‘Weird,’ I muttered to myself.

I trudged up the steps to let myself in. The door was still double-locked, so I knew Jack wasn’t home. With a sinking stomach I remembered I’d forgotten to set the alarm. Still, Jack didn’t need to know. I let myself in, toed off my running shoes and ran up the stairs into the bathroom where I turned on the shower with just a glance in its direction and then whipped back the shower curtain with a second glance before remembering once again that I was supposed to be going cold turkey with this power thing.

As I was drying my hair, I heard the rattle of keys in the front door. Pulling my towel around me, I stepped into the hallway to peer down the stairs.

It was just Jack.

‘Hi,’ he said as he appeared in the hallway. He looked tired.

Hunting Lila
Page 13



‘Hi.’ I waved back.

‘Why’s the alarm off?’

I pulled a face. ‘Um, because I forgot to set it?’

‘Did you go out?’ he asked.

‘Yeah, I went for a run.’

He glowered at me. ‘Don’t go out without telling me first, OK? And don’t ever forget to set the alarm.’

I stared at him. Why didn’t he just stick a tracking device on me and chain me up while he was at it?

‘I’ll get you a pass to the gym on the base, you can run there.’

He turned to walk into the kitchen and I watched him go, wondering whether he’d ever let up on the overprotective big brother routine. Then I went back into the bathroom and got dressed.

When I joined him downstairs he was busy frying some bacon and eggs.

‘So, what happened to you last night? Where’d you disappear to?’ I asked, sitting at the table.

‘Oh, just a work thing.’ He had his back to me as he flipped the bacon with a spatula.

‘What kind of work thing? Why did you have to leave in the middle of the night? Or am I not allowed to know? Is it all top secret?’

‘Yep, it’s so top secret that if I told you, I’d have to kill you. And seeing how you’re my sister, that might not be too good for our relationship.’

‘Ha ha. Wow, very James Bond.’ I paused for a moment. ‘Hopefully without the scantily clad women.’ I didn’t want to imagine any Bond girl moments involving Alex.

‘So, who are the bad guys then?’

I was sparking with curiosity, though a big part of me still didn’t want to know. Was it drug busting? Gang wars? Vice? I was pretty sure from the way Jack was trying to avoid the question, it wasn’t petty crime.

He rested the spatula on the side and turned to face me, recognising I wasn’t ready to let this drop. ‘No one you need to worry about.’ He gave me a look and then turned back to spoon the eggs onto the plates.

‘I’m not worried. Why would I need to worry? Didn’t you catch them last night?’ I raised my eyebrows innocently.

‘We caught one of them.’ He didn’t sound happy, like he’d won the bronze not the gold. He was always so competitive.

One of them – that seemed *****ggest there were a finite number. Maybe it was a gang, then. Jack came and sat down opposite me. I looked at his face and tried again to picture him and Alex catching bad guys. The thought of Alex in uniform induced an automatic smile but then I thought about guns and the fighting that had to be involved in stopping bad guys and I had to struggle from having a full-blown panic attack.

‘So you had a chat with Alex last night?’

I almost choked on my eggs. My mind stumbled over itself trying to think what Alex might have told him. When had they even spoken?

‘Er, yeah, yes. I was thirsty, came down for something to drink. We chatted. You didn’t need to get him to come over.’

‘I didn’t ask him, he offered.’

‘Oh.’ That surprised me.

‘What did you talk about?’

‘Oh, you know, nothing really.’ I shovelled some eggs in my mouth so I didn’t have to talk. He was still looking at me. I swallowed. ‘You know – school, London, that sort of thing.’

‘Speaking of which – you need to call Dad.’

I grimaced at him. Jack ignored me and pushed his plate aside, got up and left the room. A second later he was back with a phone in his hand.

I took it reluctantly.

He gave me a brief smile. ‘Good luck.’

I dialled the number he handed me. The country code was +39. Italy, I thought. Dad was still away, then. Some things never changed. I did the maths – it would be about midnight. Hopefully he’d be sleeping and be too groggy to argue with me much. The phone gave a long beep, pause, another long beep, pause. I wondered how many beeps I should wait for before I could legitimately hang up and still claim I’d tried.

But then there was a click and a ‘Hello?’

He didn’t sound groggy, the total opposite in fact. I could picture him pacing the room as he spoke.

‘Hi, Dad.’ This was awkward. Jack was watching me so I walked into the hallway. I heard a sigh on the other end of the phone.

‘So, Lila, are you going to tell me why you are in California, when you should be in London?’

It wasn’t as though I hadn’t expected him to ask the question but I still hadn’t prepared an answer.

‘I – I just needed to see Jack, Dad.’

Nothing.

‘I miss him.’

My dad sighed again. ‘I know, Lila. But couldn’t you just have called him?’

He had a point. ‘Yes, probably, but I didn’t really think. I wanted to see him.’

‘Lila. You need to come home.’ Here it came.

‘Dad, I like it here.’ I could hear the panic in my voice. Oh, what the hell, at least there were several thousand miles between us, might as well lay it all on the line. ‘I want to stay.’

‘It’s the middle of the school term.’

I stepped further away from the open front door so my words wouldn’t carry inside. ‘It’s revision-time. I’m fine missing a couple of weeks. And, actually, I’ve been thinking—’

‘Lila, I want you home.’

‘Dad, you’re not even there. What am I coming home to?’

He was silent for a long time. I could hear his breathing and the static on the line humming.

Hunting Lila
Page 14



‘I’m sorry, Lila. It’s just work is—’

‘I get it, Dad. You don’t need to apologise.’ I needed him to see that whatever painkiller or distraction his work offered him was what being here with Jack – and with Alex – offered me. ‘Can you understand that sometimes it’s hard for me, too? Being away from Jack and being on my own so much?’

He was still silent.

‘I want to stay, Dad. I want to stay with Jack.’ And with Alex. ‘I don’t want to come home.’

As soon as I said the words I realised that I was prepared to fight hard to make it happen. My dad would have to extra***e me if he wanted me back home. It was my life and I was sick to death of being told where I was going to live and what was best for me. Of course there was the little detail of money and the fact that until I turned eighteen in October, which was five months away, I was still legally a child, but I’d deal with that later.

‘Lila, we’re not having this conversation. You’re coming home. I’ll fly back tonight and meet you off the plane. I don’t want you over there.’

‘Why?’ I was more determined now than angry.

He hesitated. Maybe he was realising for the first time that I was defying him and there was little he could do about it other than flying to San Diego to confront me. But I knew he’d never come back here – the memories of my mother worked better than an electric fence and barbed wire at keeping him out. He’d told me he was never coming back and while Jack regularly accused me of being melodramatic, the same couldn’t be said about my dad, so I believed him.

‘Lila, there are things you don’t understand. Reasons I don’t want you there. Even with Jack.’

‘Oh my God, please don’t tell me you’re worried about my safety too?’ I almost yelled. It was so frustrating this compulsion he and Jack had of wrapping me up in cotton wool and treating me like I was a china doll. ‘How am I any less safe here than living in Brixton?’

‘Let me speak to your brother.’

‘Why?’

‘Because I have to ask him something.’

I took a deep breath. Talking to Jack was not going to help my campaign much. ‘OK, I’ll put him on.’

I covered the mouthpiece and walked back into the living room where Jack was still sitting. His hands were motionless on the keys of his laptop and I could tell he had been listening.

‘He wants to talk to you,’ I said.

Jack frowned at me then closed the laptop with a snap. He swivelled in his chair and held out his hand for the phone. I handed it to him, begging him with my eyes. I didn’t have much hope. It seemed that Jack and my dad agreed on only one thing and that was on me going home.

I hovered by his chair, trying to hear what my dad was saying, but Jack got up and stood by the bookshelf, turning his back on me.

‘No – I told you that already – she is.’ He was behaving like a hostile witness. ‘She can – OK. Yes, that’s fine.’

A pause.

‘You know I will. It won’t be the end of it, though, you do realise that? You should ask her yourself. I’ll put her back on, hang on.’

I took the phone, my hand trembling a little. ‘Hey, Dad.’

He got straight to the point. ‘What did Jack mean when he said that this wouldn’t be the end of it?’

‘I told you. I want to stay. I don’t want to go back to London. I’ve been thinking I could transfer over here to finish high school – then go on to college.’

‘You are kidding me, right? You can’t go to school over there!’

I started to protest but he cut me off. ‘You can stay for two weeks now’ – I started to interrupt but he just talked louder – ‘and we’ll talk things through when you get back.’

I mulled it over. It wasn’t a great compromise. But I didn’t have much choice.

‘OK. You promise we’ll discuss it, though? It’s not just a ruse to get me home?’

‘No. I promise you we’ll discuss it.’

‘Thanks, Dad,’ I whispered.

Jack was frowning at me, his green eyes darkening.

‘I love you.’

‘I love you too.’

I hung up and put the receiver back on its base.

‘What did he say?’ Jack was sitting on the sofa, his arms on his knees, his hands clasped.

‘He said I could stay two weeks. And that we’d discuss college.’ As I said the words they rattled inside me. Two weeks was no time at all. And then there was another whole year before I could come back. If Dad even let me. He might just want to discuss with me the reasons why he wasn’t going to let me step foot in the States ever again.

‘Well, then,’ Jack said, getting up slowly from the sofa. ‘I guess we’d better make some plans for the next couple of weeks. Make sure you have some fun.’

I thought about offering some suggestions, but they all involved Alex and scenarios with just the two of us and I didn’t think Jack would be interested in hearing those.

6

‘Who’s Suki, Jack?’

‘What?’

It was a few hours later and I was chopping tomatoes at the kitchen counter. I had a fetching apron on over my dress and had pulled my hair up into a loose ponytail to keep the strands out of my face. Jack had been upstairs getting dressed. When he came back into the kitchen I asked him the question that had been running around my head ever since he’d mentioned Sara was coming over this evening.

Hunting Lila
Page 15



‘Suki. Who is she?’

‘What?’ Jack’s brows knitted together in confusion.

‘Let me refresh your memory: Japanese, beautiful, slightly strange.’

The confusion cleared on Jack’s face, only to be replaced by a look that wiped the laughter from my lips.

‘Where did you meet her?’ he demanded abruptly.

‘She was here earlier. When I got back from my run. I caught her peering through the letter box. She was looking for you.’

He took me by the shoulders. ‘Why didn’t you tell me this earlier?’ His voice had a hard edge to it.

‘Um, you weren’t in the best of moods?’

‘Lila, this is important. What did she look like?’

‘I just told you. Maybe you should take snapshots of the girls you get together with, Jack, save you the embarrassing memory failure.’

His fingers dug into my shoulder. ‘Lila. Answer the question. What did she look like?’

‘I told you – Japanese, like a model or something, and she was dressed in very weird clothes for round here.’

‘How tall? About this high?’ He indicated a height an inch or so shorter than me.

I thought about it, trying to factor in her high heels. ‘Yes, I suppose so.’

‘Was her hair cut like this?’ He held his hand at an angle to his face.

I nodded. So he did know her then.

‘Did you talk to her?’

‘Yes.’

‘What did she say?’

‘She asked if I lived here and when she found out I was your sister she looked pretty relieved. That’s how I guessed she was someone you had . . . well, you know.’

He didn’t seem to hear the last part. ‘You told her you were my sister?’ He turned away from me, pulling his phone out of his back pocket.

‘Who is she?’ I was really confused now.

‘It’s not important.’

I arched an eyebrow. ‘So is this something I shouldn’t mention to Sara?’

He paused, about to hit a speed-dial button, and turned back to face me. ‘Lila, this is not what you think.’

I sensed that he was telling the truth, so stopped myself giving him my usual sceptical look.

‘Stay here,’ he said, walking into the hallway.

I looked around the kitchen – the sauce on the hob was simmering and the salad lay half chopped on the cutting board. ‘I wasn’t planning on going anywhere.’

About ten minutes later, Jack walked back in. He came over to where I was laying the table and put his arm around my shoulder.

‘Alex will be over in a bit. He’s joining us.’

I tried to act nonchalant, even though the butterflies in my stomach had started to riot. ‘I’ll set another place, then. So did you just call him? About Suki? What’s going on?’ I asked, as I laid out the extra place.

‘It’s nothing to worry about. She’s just someone we’re interested in talking to.’

‘Talking to? I watch CSI, Jack, I know what that means. What did she do?’ Curiosity layered my words. What on earth could a girl not much older than me, in killer heels, have done to interest a Marine unit like Jack’s? A thought struck me – maybe it was vice after all.

‘Nothing. We just want to talk to her about some information she might have.’

‘What information?’ I was like a terrier hanging on to his trouser leg but still he shook me off.

‘You know I can’t tell you.’

‘Yeah, I know, “or you’d have to kill me”. Really, that’s getting so old. You’re going to have to think of a better line.’ I pressed my lips together. He obviously wasn’t going to give anything away. Now my imagination was running wild. Who was she that he was this anxious about her being near the house – and near me? She hadn’t looked dangerous – slightly kooky, maybe, but the most dangerous thing about her had been her hair: one flick of that bob would probably have sliced me in two.

The doorbell rang and I jumped.

Jack went to answer it while I waited in the kitchen. I had a sudden thought that it might be Suki, trying her luck again, but just then Alex’s voice reached me from the hallway. I pulled my hairband out, tore the apron off over my head, shook out my hair and took several deep breaths. I could hear the two of them murmuring in the hallway, so I tiptoed behind the door to hear better.

‘. . . not sure, we need to find out, though, and we can’t leave—’

Alex stopped talking suddenly and turned his head in my direction.

‘Hi, Lila,’ he called.

I stepped out from behind the door, feeling my cheeks blazing.

‘Hi.’

Alex was smiling at me but I could see the tension in his eyes. He came into the kitchen.

Jack gestured at his phone. ‘I’m just going to call Sara and see where she is.’

As always when I was alone with Alex I felt the atmosphere charge slightly, my body start to fizzle with static. Out of the corner of my eye I watched him move to the fridge and open the door. He had his back to me, scanning the contents, so I turned my head to watch him. He was wearing jeans again, though a darker pair than he’d had on yesterday. They were a good fit. A really good fit. And his grey T-shirt revealed the line of muscle running across his shoulders. Ow. I realised I was biting my bottom lip.

He turned and I looked away, flustered, spattering myself with hot water.

‘So, good day?’

Hunting Lila
Page 16



I turned back to face him. He was now sitting at the table with a Coke in his hand. It hadn’t been a great day but it was definitely getting better.

It was hard to stay coherent when I looked in his eyes so I turned back to the pasta to give it a stir. ‘Jack made me call Dad. He probably told you.’

‘Yes, he did mention it.’

‘They cut a deal over me. I can stay for two weeks.’ I risked a peek at him to see if I could gauge his reaction. His face was unreadable. ‘I’m not done fighting, Alex. I am coming back.’ I said this to the pasta, which was blurring in the pan I was stirring it so fast.

Alex gave a soft laugh. ‘You never did give up on anything you wanted.’

If only he knew the truth of that one. I put the wooden spoon down on the side and let the pasta spin to a stop in the pan. Checking that Jack was still out of earshot, I turned to Alex. ‘Why is Jack still so angry with Dad?’

He frowned at this slightly, his sky-blue eyes turning cloudy, then let out a big sigh. ‘I know it’s difficult for you being stuck between them. I’ve tried to talk to him about it, but you know Jack – he’s even more stubborn than you.’ He was giving me a half-smile, so I smiled grudgingly back.

‘But what’s it about?’

‘That’s not something I can tell you, Lila.’

‘Oh for God’s sake.’ I kept my voice low but the frustration crept in. ‘Why won’t either of you tell me anything?’

Alex didn’t say anything. He stood up, though, and came towards me. For one minuscule moment I thought that he was going to put his arms around me, but he just stretched past me to pick up the wooden spoon I’d left on the side and moved to the hob to give the pasta sauce a stir. It had gone off the boil. I stood waiting for him to finish, waiting for him to answer me.

He turned the gas off and turned to face me again.

‘Lila, there are a lot of things we just can’t tell you. I know that must be frustrating but you have to trust us.’

I let that sink in for a second. ‘You’re both asking me to trust you all the time. But neither of you will trust me.’

‘Not now,’ he said.

I scowled at him but he just shook his head ever so slightly, giving me a warning look. My scowl turned to a frown, but before I could ask why, he had stepped past me.

‘Hey, Sara,’ he said smoothly.

I turned around.

My first thought was that I could totally see why my brother had fallen for her. Sara was gorgeous, but not in an obvious way. She had waves of dark brown hair falling down below her shoulders and lustrous olive skin. Her eyes were chestnut-coloured and set wide in her face. She smiled at me, and I liked her immediately.

‘It’s so lovely to meet you,’ she said, stepping forward and giving me a hug. ‘I’ve heard so much about you.’

‘Oh dear,’ I said, looking at Jack, who was standing beside her.

She laughed, reaching for his hand. ‘No, no – all good, believe me.’

I wondered how much Jack had shared with her and glanced at Alex. He had gone back to the stove to salvage the remains of the dinner I’d abandoned.

‘I think I have you to thank for domesticating Jack,’ I said. I really meant taming.

‘Ahhh well, it was my pleasure,’ Sara said with a smile in Jack’s direction. ‘But, really, Jack didn’t need much help. I had a bit of a hand in the decorating, is all. He was following a pretty minimalist approach to furniture, shall we say, when I first met him. Alex still is – have you seen his place yet?’

‘No. Not yet.’

Alex still hadn’t said anything and I wondered what he was thinking. Would I ever get a chance to see this minimalist ‘bachelor pad’ of his? The image in my head changed from silk sheets and mirrored ceilings to a single futon and white walls. Definitely preferable.

Alex put the loaded plates on the table and we took our seats. He pulled out the chair to my right, his leg stretched out so close to me that my own leg jumped like a cricket and smacked into the tabletop, rattling the plates and glasses. I looked down, horrified, and pressed my hand on my thigh to stop it from happening again.

‘So, how long are you staying?’ Sara asked, as we started to eat.

I looked at Jack. Had he told her? I was sure he would have. But he was paying me no heed, continuing to look at Sara like I’d seen him look at fast cars in his previous incarnation as my teenage brother. Whatever Sara’s secret power was, I wanted it so I could use it on Alex.

‘Two weeks,’ I said. ‘For now.’

‘Great! Plenty of time to get to know each other, then.’

I didn’t miss the look Alex shot across the table at Jack, but I chose to ignore it and to focus instead on Sara. But it was difficult focusing on anything, even my brother’s beautiful girlfriend, with Alex so close. I could sense every subtle shift in his body. My eyes caught the ripple of tendons as his forearm tensed and I knew he was thinking about something. Worrying about something.

‘So, what’s the plan for your birthday?’ Sara said, looking over at him.

‘There is no plan.’ Alex’s head was bent over his plate but he was looking up through his brown lashes at Sara with a faint half-smile on his face. His eyes were flickering with something like amusement.

‘Alex, don’t try to avoid it, we’re doing something to celebrate whether you like it or not,’ she said, laughing.

Hunting Lila
Page 17



‘When is it again?’ Jack asked.

‘Saturday,’ I replied, a little too quickly.

‘Why don’t we go to Belushi’s – get the guys along? Show Lila some Oceanside nightlife,’ Sara suggested.

‘Some Marine nightlife? I’m sure she’ll love that,’ Jack said.

‘No – I would. I’d like to meet the rest of your unit.’

‘Yeah, and I think they’d love to meet you too, Lila.’ Sara gave a little laugh.

Jack’s head shot up. Sara laughed louder and pinched him before he could say anything.

‘So, it’s settled then. I’ll put the word out.’

Alex threw his hands up in defeat. ‘I guess it is. See how she’s organising our social lives as well as our domestic ones, Lila?’

‘You just need a good woman, Alex,’ Sara countered.

He looked down at the table then back up, his blue eyes hooded. ‘I probably do,’ he said.

Relief rushed through me. No girlfriend! Alex needed a good woman. He’d admitted it himself. I wondered how I might fit the bill. I was neither a woman nor very good.

At some point the conversation died down. The plates were stacked in a pile to the side and our chairs were pushed back from the table. Alex was toying with his glass, talking across the table to Jack about someone from the Unit – their boss, it sounded like. They seemed to like him.

I was talking to Sara about her job. She had been doing her PhD at Berkeley and had been recruited straight out of college into the Unit.

‘What was that like?’ I asked. ‘How did you know you wanted to work with a Marine unit?’

‘I didn’t. Nothing could have been further from what I intended.’

‘So what made you say yes?’ I lowered my voice, hoping that I’d get some more substantial information from Sara than I’d got from Jack and Alex.

‘I couldn’t not say yes when I found out what the job was. It was just too important. And then I met Jack. And now I’m staying until it’s over.’

‘It’s over? Until what’s over?’

Sara flushed suddenly and I could tell she’d let on more than she’d meant to.

Jack suddenly stood up. ‘Coffee?’

Sara looked up at him. ‘Yes, that would be great, thanks.’ She glanced back at the table and then stood up herself, throwing her napkin onto her plate. ‘Here, let me clear up.’

‘I’ve got it, don’t worry,’ I said, uncrossing my legs and making a move to clear the dirty dishes.

‘No, you and Alex did all the cooking. You two stay put.’

I sat back down, automatically smoothing out my skirt over my leg.

‘How’s it feeling?’

I looked up. Alex nodded at my leg.

‘Still sore. But better. Thanks for the ice yesterday.’

‘You probably shouldn’t have gone running on it today.’ Jack had told him every little detail, then.

‘I needed to run.’ I didn’t tell him why. ‘And it was fine,’ I added quickly.

‘Next time let me come with you, or run at the base.’

I looked at him with raised eyebrows. ‘You’d have to walk to keep up with me.’

‘I think I could manage. You can set the pace. Why not come out tomorrow to the base? We can go for a run out there – and I can show you the gym.’

I weighed up the pros of being alone with him against the cons of being with him whilst looking like a sweaty mess. My vanity lost out.

‘Maybe I could test your ninja skills out while we’re at it.’

I gave him a sideways look, trying to work out if he was joking. ‘Er, yeah, sure. I wouldn’t want to hurt you, though.’

‘I’ll take the risk.’ His eyes were sparkling – I noticed that in the light they had amber flecks in them, and it stunned me that I’d never noticed before.

‘Coffee is served.’ Sara reached over to place a cafetière and coffee cups on the table. ‘I really have to go after this,’ she said as she poured it out.

‘I’ll drive your car back then catch a cab home,’ Jack said to Sara. He glanced over at Alex. ‘Do you mind staying with Lila?’

‘Of course not,’ Alex said.

I wanted to protest that I wasn’t a child, that I stayed in a bigger, emptier, lonelier house than this one by myself almost every night back in London, that if anyone ever tried anything I’d unconsciously be able to protect myself no matter how much I didn’t actually mean to and that I really, really wanted to know why they were insisting on this level of babysitting. But I didn’t say a word because I knew it meant alone time with Alex.

I really liked Sara but at this point in time I couldn’t wait to see the back of her. I hadn’t had any coffee but I was jumping like livebait, waiting for them to leave. I could feel my heartbeat accelerating as I got up to hug her goodbye.

‘I’ll see you soon.’ She squeezed me tighter and whispered in my ear, ‘It’s really so nice to meet you. You’re every bit as gorgeous as they told me.’

They told me . . . I felt the smile splitting my face. They had told her. Did that mean Alex?

‘Back in half an hour or so,’ said Jack, heading for the door.

‘Take your time.’ Alex took the words straight out of my mouth.

7

They left and the kitchen was quiet but for Alex clearing the coffee cups and running the taps. I wondered how to begin.

Hunting Lila
Page 18



I cleared my throat. ‘Sara’s lovely.’

‘Yeah, she is. Jack’s lucky.’

Suddenly I was struck with the thought that maybe I’d been blind. Maybe Alex had feelings for Sara too. No, that couldn’t be right. I forced myself to stay calm. What the hell, I was bouncing on adrenaline, why not just be blunt?

‘What about you? Why no girlfriend?’

There, it was out there. It was a legitimate question, I figured. I couldn’t look at him though when he answered, so I moved to the fridge door and started playing with the magnets, moving one to cover my fourteen-year-old face.

‘We’re not officially allowed to date.’

My hand froze. That wasn’t the answer I’d expected.

‘You’re what?’ I said, turning to him.

He laughed at my reaction. ‘We’re not officially allowed to date,’ he repeated.

‘Why?’ I asked. Then immediately, ‘And how is Jack allowed to, then?’

‘It’s better, easier, if we don’t get close to people. We have to move a lot and – well – it’s just difficult when there are people you care about close to what we’re close to.’

I shook my head, not understanding. ‘But Sara?’

‘She works on base. She’s one of us and she knows the risks. It’s allowable.’

There was a pause while I took this in.

‘And you?’

I looked up, ‘Me?’

‘Yes. No boyfriend?’

He had done it again, always distracting me. ‘Um, no. No, I told you. It’s not like that in London. Plus I go to an all-girls’ school.’

Plus I’m in love with you, I added silently. There had been no boyfriends. There had been kisses, yes, but no boyfriends. A boy who lived around the corner had once asked me to the cinema and I’d said yes, thinking it might distract me from daydreaming about a boy on the other side of the world who didn’t have a clue I liked him. But I’d just spent the entire movie fantasising I was with Alex and that it was his arm sneaking around the back of my seat. Which is why, when the guy leaned in to kiss me, I closed my eyes and kissed him back. Then I opened my eyes and came to my senses. He wasn’t Alex. Alex would kiss better.

The second kiss had been even worse. My dad had dragged me to a Christmas party at the hospital and a drunk med student had jumped me. It was lucky we’d been surrounded by doctors and nurses because he’d needed three stitches in his eyebrow. Not that I’d flung his glass into his face on purpose. The glass kind of flung itself. It wasn’t the reaction either of us had expected.

So, no boyfriends.

Alex dropped the subject. He had just been trying to throw me off the scent and it annoyed me.

‘So, tell me, why is Jack not talking to my dad? Why does he hate him so much?’

Alex walked over to where I was standing by the fridge. He moved the magnet from where I’d stuck it over the picture of me and then moved his gaze to the other photo. How on earth had he even seen me do that? I moved my head unwillingly to look at the picture of my mum too.

‘That’s why, Lila,’ he said, then turned his now grey-blue eyes on me.

I could feel my jaw clench. ‘That’s so absurd. My dad didn’t kill my mum, Alex.’

He looked at me for a moment, a fine frown line between his eyes appearing. ‘Come on, let’s sit down and talk,’ he said eventually.

We walked through to the living room, where Alex crossed to the window and drew the curtains, scanning the front yard as he did so. They were both so paranoid. He moved to turn on the light.

I sat on the sofa with my feet curled under me, waiting for Alex to explain. He walked over to the bookcase in the corner and stood in front of a large portrait shot of my mum. When I’d seen it earlier I’d wondered for a moment where Jack had got the picture of me from. She and I were so similar it was amazing. I had never noticed before, because my dad didn’t keep many photos of my mum in the house. I had my dad’s chin and straight nose, but from this photograph, it was obvious I was my mother’s daughter; we had the exact same colour hair and eyes but it was clear that I also had her oval-shaped face and high cheekbones. I had always thought of my mother as beautiful, and the shock of realising I had inherited some of her features genuinely startled me.

‘You know, you look just like her,’ Alex said, reading my thoughts again.

I got up off the sofa and came to stand next to him. ‘I haven’t ever really seen it before, but now I do.’

I could feel the heat of Alex’s body radiating against my side. I only came up to his shoulder and it was so tempting to lean against him.

‘Jack’s angry with your dad for not fighting for her. As he sees it, the fight doesn’t stop until the people who did it, who killed her, are caught.’

I was speechless for a few seconds and then gathered myself, stammering, ‘But that’s ridiculous. The police tried. They didn’t catch them. What could my dad do?’

Alex was standing only inches away from me. I could feel his breath on my hair. Then he turned and sat down on the sofa, his arms resting across his knees.

‘Nothing, Lila. Your father couldn’t really do anything. Jack knows that deep down but until he finds the people who killed her he’ll keep blaming your dad. He’s his scapegoat.’

I didn’t say anything as I absorbed this information. Then something dawned on me. ‘You said until he finds the people – what do you mean? He’s looking for them?’

Hunting Lila
Page 19



Panic started to invade me, making my breathing hike. I staggered forward and knelt on the floor in front of Alex. He slowly lifted his eyes from the ground to meet mine.

‘Tell me, Alex,’ I pleaded. ‘What do you mean? Are you looking for them?’ If it was true, Jack wasn’t doing it by himself. That much I knew.

He stared into my eyes for a few seconds, weighing his answer. But I could see it before he spoke. ‘Yes. We’re looking for them.’

My voice shook. ‘And have you found them?’

I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear the answer. It was like walking a tightrope and knowing that whichever way I fell, to the left or the right, the result would still be the same. I’d be paralysed.

‘Yes.’

My heart lurched into my mouth. It seemed impossible. Five years had gone by and everyone had given up on getting answers. It felt like there were only three people alive – four if I counted Alex – who even cared any more whether my mother’s killers could be found.

‘How? How do you know who did it?’

‘We got intelligence,’ Alex answered simply.

‘I don’t understand. What intelligence? From where?’

‘The Unit. We find things out through the Unit.’

‘What things? What does your unit have to do with my mother or her murder? I don’t get it.’

‘The Unit has nothing to do with it.’ Alex paused again, weighing his words carefully. ‘Jack and I just managed to access some intelligence through the Unit that helped us to find them.’

‘And now you’ve found them . . . what are you going to do?’ It felt like all the blood in my body froze then started to churn.

‘We’re going to catch them.’

‘Why didn’t Jack tell me any of this?’

‘He doesn’t want to bring you into it.’ Alex’s voice was low and calm, I had the feeling that he was trying to reel me in.

‘Why are you OK with telling me then?’

Alex bit his bottom lip, thinking, then after a second or two he said, ‘Because I don’t like to see you hurt and I think you need to know.’

We stared at each other wordlessly, his gaze holding mine, his focus tight, trying to anticipate my next question.

It was one I hadn’t ever thought I’d get an answer to. ‘Who are they? Who killed my mum?’

He didn’t answer me. Just continued to stare into my eyes. I could feel them tearing up as I fought the memory of my nightmare.

‘Isn’t it enough to know that we’re going to catch them?’ he said eventually.

‘No,’ I threw back at him. ‘Not if it means either of you getting hurt in the process.’ I looked down at the carpet, fighting back tears.

Alex’s hand was suddenly under my chin, lifting it up until I was looking him in the eye once more. He cupped my face in both of his hands, holding me firmly so I couldn’t turn away. My breathing stopped.

‘We won’t get hurt. I promise you.’

I wanted to believe him but a parent being murdered when you’re a child makes promises like that redundant.

‘You’d better not,’ is all I said. The fear in me gently washed away, like a wave pulling back from the shore. I knew it was only temporary, but I could hold it at bay for now.

‘Can you try to forgive Jack, now that you understand?’

Alex’s hands were still holding my face. I nodded.

The noise of a car pulling up outside interrupted the silence that had opened up between us. Alex was out of the chair in a second, stepping over me to the window.

‘It’s Jack,’ Alex said, looking through the chink he’d made in the curtains. I wondered who else he thought it might have been.

Half a minute later, Jack came through the door.

‘Hi,’ he said with a broad smile.

‘Hi,’ we both answered at the same time.

Jack took one look at me, his smile fading, then asked, ‘You all right?’

‘I’m fine.’ I glanced at Alex who was looking at me strangely. ‘It’s just, I . . . I . . .’ I had just found out he was hunting our mother’s killers on some crazy vengeance mission. I was a billion miles away from being fine.

‘We were just talking about old times,’ Alex cut in.

I tried to pull myself together. ‘Yeah, about the time I broke my leg.’ It was the first thing that popped into my mind.

‘Oh yeah, I remember that.’

Alex flashed me a look that I found hard to read. I wasn’t sure if he was wondering whether I was losing it or whether he was wondering why on earth I’d picked that particular memory. But he looked back at Jack and, without skipping a beat, said, ‘I gave Lila my coat – do you remember? You complained about it as you thought I’d get hypothermia and you’d have to drag me back on the sledge too.’

‘Sounds about right.’ Jack grinned

I watched helplessly as Alex reached for his jacket, hanging off the banister.

No, don’t go, don’t go! I wanted to yell.

‘I’ll see you tomorrow,’ he said. ‘Jack, I’ve told Lila I’ll take her for a run tomorrow on the base, hope that’s OK with you.’

‘Sure, sounds like a good idea.’

We were crowded into the narrow hall. Alex suddenly wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into his chest. I breathed in deeply.

He kissed the top of my head. ‘Night, Lila.’

Hunting Lila
Page 20



Then he was gone and Jack was setting the alarm by the front door. It beeped a few times and then he went to the back door to make sure it was locked. I stood watching him from the hallway, questions running like water through my mind and threatening to spill over my lips. I couldn’t believe he was keeping this all from me. I turned and walked up the stairs before I opened my mouth and it all flooded out.

‘Goodnight,’ Jack said.

‘Yeah, goodnight,’ I replied.

8

As soon as my bedroom door shut, I fell onto the bed and curled up on my side, hugging a pillow to my chest. It had been a mistake to ask Alex who they were. Names didn’t matter, what they looked like didn’t matter. Why they did it – that was the only question that had ever mattered to me. I needed to know why, for what possible reason, anyone could murder a woman in cold blood, in her house, in broad daylight.

And my brother and Alex must know why, because they’d managed to find the people responsible. With information gleaned through their work. It made no sense to me. How could they find out information five years after the event that the police hadn’t been able to? How had they even known where to start looking? What the hell did their unit do?

I uncurled myself from the foetal position I was lying in and sat up. This was bad. Really bad. We weren’t talking about teenage muggers. We were talking about murderers. I couldn’t let them do this. I had to talk Alex and Jack out of it.

‘Lila, what’s taking so long?’

‘Nothing. I’m here.’

I ran down the stairs. Jack was hovering at the bottom, an impatient look on his face. I was running late because I’d only fallen asleep as dawn was breaking. It was ten in the morning now and though I’d had about four hours of sleep, it felt like only five minutes, all of it restless and filled with ugly dreams.

‘Let’s go,’ I said, smiling at him and walking through the door into the garage.

The car, I noticed for the first time, was an Audi. It was sleek and black and glossy and I wondered how he’d paid for it. I stroked along its side. I wasn’t that into cars but this one I could covet.

‘Nice car,’ I said, as I slid into the passenger seat. We were heading to the base. Jack was popping in to do some work – what I wasn’t sure – and I was meeting Alex. We were going for a run and I planned to use the time to convince him to walk away, back off, stop looking for my mum’s killers. I’d beg and plead if I had to. I’d be more convincing than last night. I wouldn’t let his hands or his eyes or his voice distract me. We’d be running. I’d focus on the road.

‘It’s a company car,’ Jack said, turning the key in the ignition.

I refocused on Jack. Cars. We were talking about cars.

‘The military pays for seventy-thousand-dollar cars now? Taxpayers must love that.’

‘One hundred twenty with the modifications and yes, the taxpayers would be fine if they knew why we needed them.’

‘What modifications?’ There were no spoilers. No go-faster stripes. Not even any flashing lights.

‘It goes a bit faster than the speed dial admits and it has a few hidden features.’

I guessed he wasn’t talking about heated seats. I’d have a play with some of the buttons when I was next in it alone.

Jack pressed a button on his key chain. The garage door eased up over our heads, letting in a wash of bright sunlight. The windows were tinted but I still pulled the visor down to shield my eyes. A laminated card fell onto my lap. I turned it over and saw it was a picture of Jack. He looked a little younger, more tired around the eyes, and thinner than he was now. United States Marine Corps was indented across the top and then, in finer print underneath, Stirling Enterprises: Special Operations.

The thing that caught my eye though was the word before his name: Lieutenant. I was peering at the rest of the information when Jack snatched it from my hand and tucked it into his side pocket as he accelerated out of the driveway. The street was empty but for a few parked cars reflecting the sun like a row of mirrors.

‘Lieutenant Jack Loveday?’ I said. ‘That’s good, right? That means you’re in charge?’

‘Depends on how you look at it. And no, I’m not in charge – there’s a whole load of ranks above LT. But I am a team leader.’

‘What’s Alex, then?’

I wanted to know whether either of them outranked the other. That would be really awkward.

Jack paused. ‘He’s the same,’ he said. ‘He runs another team, though. He’s Alpha team and I’m in charge of Beta.’

‘OK, so it’s a little bit more organised than the A-Team, then?’

He laughed at my amateur description. ‘Yes, a little. There are three teams in our unit. Each has eight men at any given time.’

‘That’s small, isn’t it? I mean, twenty-four men isn’t many.’ I was a bloodhound, sniffing for clues.

‘Twenty-four men is a lot.’

I nodded as if I understood. ‘But it’s not that many for dealing with drug traffickers.’

He let out a hoot that I assumed was mirth. ‘What on earth made you think we were dealing with drug dealers?’

I crossed that one off my list grudgingly. It had been my best guess. ‘Well, you said you needed to be near the border. And then you have this really cool car, which maybe you could use for undercover work.’

He was still laughing at me.

‘What’s so funny? I could really picture this car belonging to a drug dealer. I’ve been living in south London, you know. I have first-hand knowledge of the type of cars drug dealers like to drive.’