[English] Spin

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“Contessa,” he said so tenderly I barely heard it.

“Let me know you,” I repeated. “Let me in.”

He brushed a strand of hair off my cheek. “You dance with your friends. I don’t. You see movies. I don’t. You have a good life. I have something else.”

“Come with me. You can dance too. We can go out to movies with friends, do all the things people do.”

He put his arms around me and kissed me fully. When I slipped my hands under his jacket and felt the lump of a gun holster under his arm, he stiffened. I kissed him harder, because the feel of it had dumped a bucket of desire between my legs. I clutched him, the gun on the inside of my forearm.

He shook his head. “You turn me around every time. You’re going to make me soft.”

“A soft man wouldn’t say that.”

Something changed in his face. His jaw got tight again. “No, a soft man would.” He grabbed my hand. “I’m taking you now, Contessa. And not gently.”

We were in a room full of people. I had no idea what was on his mind, but he pulled me to the back of the loft and through the kitchen, which had been stripped to the lathe. He pushed through a metal door and yanked me into a fluorescent-drowned hallway with cracked walls and mottled concrete floor.

He rushed me into a dark closet and slammed the door behind him. Brooms and mops fell around us when he grabbed me, pulling my hair back and hitching up my skirt. The painted-over window let a little of the streetlights in, and when my eyes adjusted, I saw the fire in his eyes. Was this his reaction to a moment of softness?

“You’re going to get me killed.” He ran his fingers over my pu**y roughly. “That make you wet?” He jerked my hair.

“Mercurial, much?”

“I will not die because you made me weak.” He put me on the edge of the slop sink. I leaned on my hands, and he jerked my legs open.

“**** me then, you son of a bitch.”

He ripped a gaping hole in my panties and shoved two fingers in me. With his other hand, he released his erection as if it was a weapon. He took his fingers out of me and put them on my throat, thumb and middle finger on each side of my jaw, pressing me to the windowsill.

“I f**k you, and you take it, do you understand?” Without waiting for an answer, he shoved his c**k all the way in me in one thrust. The wind went out of me, and his hand on the throat kept me from speaking. He said, “You’re mine. I am who I am, and I own you. That’s all it is.”

He f**ked me hard and dirty. One hand pinned me by the throat, and the other hand spread my knee wide. My ass was balanced on the edge of a sink, and somehow, as rough as he was, his hands kept me from falling.

“You take it. Take it.”

“Yes, yes,” I croaked, pressure building every time his c**k went in me.

He hooked his pu**y-soaked fingers in my mouth. “Come, Contessa. Do what I tell you. ****ing come.”

In three painful thrusts, I had to obey. I shuddered and cried out into his fingers, coming for him, only for him. He ground his teeth and plowed into me so hard, the pain was muffled by another rising orgasm. Still he came at me, punishing me with his dick, and still my body rose to him. He slowed, and I thought he was done, but he pounded twice more, lengthening my climax.

“Please stop.” I gasped. “Please, Capo. I can’t take it.”

He sighed, shifted his hips, and gathered me in his arms. I wrapped my legs around him and rested my head on his shoulder.

“You’re going to be my death,” he said. “I don’t know what to do. I feel weak around you. I’m going to slip up.”

“I want to be there for you, but I can’t. I can try to stay out of trouble,” I said.

“I’m not worried about you getting into trouble. I’m worried about trouble coming to you. I’m worried about spreading myself too thin. II have enemies all around me. Every man wants his own thing, and not every man can have it.”

I felt a light vibration at his hip. He ignored it and pulled his lips along my cheek, then to my ear.

“A bunch of my crew broke off. Is that enough for you to know?” he said.

“Yes.”

“It’s my fault, and it’s going to take time to make right. I’ll have someone on you.”

“Will you come see me?”

“If I can.”

His phone vibrated again. We kissed briefly before he dropped me, stepping back to button up his pants then his jacket. He checked me out and, finding me presentable, kissed my cheek and took my hand.

Back in the loft, in the middle of the crowd, he kissed my hand then stepped back. He bumped a girl in a tiny skirt then Michael. Michael held up his hands, and Antonio did the same before he spun on his heel and walked out, one hand on his phone.

Katrina crept up behind me. “Got a live wire on your hands, girl.”

Michael passed by, a pretty girl on his arm, and said, “No dancing,”

I slapped his arm, but he walked to the dance floor with his new girl as if that sort of thing happened all the time.

thirty-one.

omeone knocked at my door early the next morning. Katrina still wasn’t home. I’d left the party twenty minutes after Antonio.

Looking out the window, I saw a bald man in jeans and a long black jacket. He was smoking. Would answering the door be stupid? Would that be getting myself into trouble? I decided not to risk it and let the curtain close. I waited one minute, then two, then looked out. He was gone, and a little package had been left behind.

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I opened the door and peeked at the package without picking it up.

Contessa

Same handwriting as the cards on Antonio’s flowers. I brought it inside and opened it. A phone dropped into my hand.

This device is secure. My number is on it. Please only use it for emergencies. And be very safe.

I checked and saw one number in the contacts with an area code in Nevada.

The front door opened, and I jumped. It was Katrina, and her lip was split.

“What happened?” I asked.

“He picked me up.” Her breath hitched in a loud sob. “I got in the car, I didn’t think anything of it. He said I lied about who I was. That I couldn’t pay him back because no one was going to buy my movie.”

“What did they do to you?” I said with an edge I didn’t recognize from my own throat.

“The lip. It’ll go away. I’ll just make my vig until I prove him wrong”

I did something I’d only done once before, on the side of the road with a Club in my hand.

I lost my temper.

“What do you mean make your vig? Do you live in one of your goddamn movies? Who the hell even knew that f**king existed anymore?” I paced.

Katrina cried. She’d never seen me like that. I’d never seen me like that. I didn’t even know who I was.

“I’m calling the cops!” My hand was shaking so hard, I couldn’t dial before Katrina snapped the phone away.

“Central?” She spat the name of the LAPD’s Downtown division like a curse. “Are you f**king with me? They’re a bunch of blabbermouths. The e***or of the Calendar has every one of them on the take. If this gets out, I’m finished.”

“When what gets out? That he pulled you into a car and slapped you around? No. No. A thousand times no. I’ll call Antonio.”

“No! I don’t want to be rescued by your boyfriend. That’s weird. Forget it. Just forget it. I’ve handled douchebags like this before.”

“How much do you need?”

She leaned on the back of the couch and pressed her fingers to her eyes. “A thousand for last week and a thousand for next.”

“Interest compounded minutely if you don’t pay.” My arms were crossed. I was so mad, all my compassion had run away in fear.

“I can pay it all back when I get distribution. He just...” She drifted off, and tears welled again. “He didn’t know about the lawsuit I lost. He found out. I think it just... I don’t know.”

“For someone so smart,” I said, unable to stop myself, “you leave yourself open to the stupidest mistakes.”

I stormed into my bedroom. My closet held a few thousand in small bills for emergencies. I counted out three grand and stuffed it in an envelope. I called Antonio from my new phone then hung up. Was this an emergency? Did he just tell me to stay away from Mabat because he was being protective? I really didn’t want to bother him when he had so much going on. I’d apologize later for disobeying him if I had to.

I went downstairs. “Come on. I’m delivering it personally.”

***

Katrina drove. The place was in East Hollywood, a trashy nightclub as big as my childhood living room. Vtang. I had no idea what it meant, but it was in big, flat red letters on the front, bathing the people in line in blood.

The bouncer, his hairline a receding M, moved the rope before we’d even slowed down. He ushered us past the register for the cover and into a room so dim I wouldn’t have been able to tell the girls from boys if there had been no high hair involved.

I was still mad. I didn’t know how I’d held onto it that long, because anger wasn’t my forte. It was unattractive and uncontrollable. It pushed people away andm for the most part, achieved nothing. This anger was mine, though, and it was a caged mink about to get skinned.

The bouncer nodded to the bartender and opened a door to the back room for us. We passed through then down steps, past a smaller door, into an underground office. I should have been scared, but I was too pissed off. Even when I saw four men lounging around the room, two playing backgammon, one on the phone, and one tending blood on his knuckles, I wasn’t afraid.

Before anyone had a chance to explain our presence or introduce us, I spoke. “Which one of you is Scott Mabat?”

One middle-aged dirty-blond man in a black leather jacket, bent over the backgammon board, raised his hand slightly, the pointer extended to say, one second.

“Scotty, come on,” the skinny guy across from him demanded. He pushed aside a tiny cup with a lemon peel in the saucer.

“Shut the f**k up, Vinny,” Scott said.

“This is a fast-paced game.”

Scott moved his piece. “Not when I play it.” He stood. “Kat, nice to see you so soon. Who’s the friend?”

“She’s—”

“I’m the money.” I wanted to throw the envelope down and storm out, but common sense cut through my anger. “I’m putting up her interest, and I’ll be paying off her loan next week.”

He stepped around the desk and slowly opened his top drawer. “Cash.”

“Cash.”

“I recognize your face.” He flipped through a folder. “You marrying the district attorney?”

“No. Let’s get this over with. I have last week, this week, and next week on me. I’ll get you the—”

“Whoa, whoa, lady. Don’t rush. Kat, did you explain that our terms changed?” He spoke to her as if she was a child.

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I wanted to kill him slowly.

“No,” she said.

I’d never seen her so cowed. She was the f**king Directrix, for Chrissakes.

“This is the contract,” he said. “It’s easy as ****. A moron could understand it. The studios give you a ream they nail together. You go to the Giraldis, they don’t even write **** down. You’re lucky.” He flipped me two stapled pieces of paper. The contract was in bullet points and looked as if it had been the result of a hundred generations of photocopying.

“Point four,” he said with his arms crossed. “Kat, would you like to read aloud to the class?”

She held out her hand for the pages. Was she insane? That docile girl couldn’t direct a movie.

I read point four myself. “‘Recipient has made no misrepresentation of their ability to repay the loan.’” I shrugged. “Okay, so?”

“So?” he said. “So!”

Throats cleared and chairs squeaked. A heightened intensity vibrated in the room.

Scott pointed his rigid finger at me as though he wanted to stab me. “This bitch didn’t tell me she was poison. I put up half a mill on an Oscar nominee, not a whining **** no one wants to touch. Her f**king ****’s gonna be at the CineVention selling to Latvia for five G.”

“A little underwriting would have gone a long way, Mister Mabat.”

The guy whose knuckles were now fully bandaged snorted a laugh.

“That’s f**king funny?” Scott said.

Knuckles shrugged. Scott, a man who could not be rushed through a game of backgammon, picked up a dirty coffee mug and bashed Knuckles in the back of the head so hard his neck seemed to shake back and forth like a seizure. It happened so fast, Knuckles’s head had dropped to the table before either of the other guys could stand to aid him.

“This was easy money.” Scott pointed the cup at me. There was blood and a single black hair on it. “A no-****ing-brainer. Terms changed. There are no prepayments. There’s a thirty-year schedule she’s keeping.” He slapped the cup down. “We’ll be happy to take it out of her ass when she can’t shell out.”

I was scared finally, but I didn’t flinch. Knuckles was conscious and being tended by his two compatriots. Katrina sniffled behind me.

“Shush,” I said to her. I held my chin up to the loan shark. “You will take the prepayment, plus five thousand, and you will be happy with that.”

“Oh, really?”

“Really.”

“Or what? You getting the mayor after me? I’m all grown now. He can’t do ****.”

I pressed my lips together in a smile. “He can’t. But if you knew my name, you’d know I have a family. And if you knew anything about how they settle debts, you’d back away slowly.” I pulled the envelope out of my jacket and plopped it on the desk. “I suggest you do your research before dismissing my offer out of hand.”

I dragged Katrina out by the forearm and didn’t look back. I pulled her up the stairs, through the club, and into the street. I walked with my shoulders straight, confident that I owned everything in my sight. My friend blooped the car and got in. I followed and got into the passenger seat as if I was being chauffeured. It wasn’t until Katrina stopped at a light on Temple that, in order to release the tension, I started crying.

Katrina rubbed my back. “Look, I’ll pay what I can, and he’ll get bored of me at some point. I mean, he can’t make it so bad that I go to the cops.” She laughed bitterly.

“Your memoir is going to be a blockbuster.”

“How To Ruin a Perfectly Good Career in Two Years.”

“The Girl With the Busted Kneecaps.”

“Maybe I’ll make him fall in love with me. I’ll be Katrina Mabat.”

“Oh God. no. You’d drive him to his ultimate death,” I said.

“I think you should back off. Self-preservation is honorable.”

“I’m paying him off and walking away. You’ll release your movie, and everything will be back to normal.”

She sighed and left the dead weight of it in the air. There was a shadow and a clack clack clack at the window that I recognized from my car breaking down in Mount Washington. Bald guy. Cigarette.

“Who’s that?” Katrina asked.

“My shadow.” I rolled down the window. “Hi. Can I help you?”

The smell of turned earth overwhelmed the air coming into the car. He handed me his phone. I hesitated.

“Spin,” Turkish Cigarette Man said. “He wants to talk to you.”

“Wow, Tee Dray. Wow, okay? Weird and possessive much?”

I took the phone. I had to stop myself from calling him Capo in front of Katrina.

He took the moment’s pause to demand my attention in a tight voice. “Contessa?”

“Hi.”

“You were in an Armenian nightclub? This somewhere you usually go?”

That was him asking me what I was doing without making assumptions. His tone was a coiled spring. He needed a flat truth, or he would wind himself tighter.

“I was seeing Scott Mabat.”

He was silent, but in the background, I heard the mumblings of men, as if he was in a crowded room.

“Antonio?” I said.

“Otto will take you to me.”

“No, I have—”

“He will pick you up and carry you.” He would have been shouting if his voice had been raised, but he kept all the power and tension while practically whispering.

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I knew then why he was capo. I hung up on him. I wouldn’t disobey him, but I didn’t have to tolerate the tone either.

“Kat,” I said, “this guy’s driving me to see Antonio. We’re going to follow you home first and make sure you get in the door, okay?”

“Okay, Tee Dray.” Her voice was suspicious even as her words were compliant.

I turned to Otto. “Okay?”

He held up his hands in surrender and smiled. Both of his pinkies were missing. “It’s no problem.” He had a thick accent.

He opened my car door. I started to get out, but Katrina put her hand on my forearm.

“Thank you,” she said.

“It’s no problem,” I said in Otto’s accent.

She smiled. “You’re pretty badass. I didn’t know that about you.”

“Me neither.”

Otto had parked his incredibly nondescript silver Corolla two spaces down, and he opened the back door for me.

When he got in, I said, “The car smells nice.”

“Grazie. There’s no smoking in the car. Still smells new, no?”

“It does.”

“Okay, I take your friend home, then we go, okay?”

“Yes, sir.”

***

“Where are we going?” I asked after we’d walked Katrina to the door.

Otto tapped on his phone from the front seat. “The office. But I confirm now.”

“How long have you been watching me, Otto?”

He shrugged and pulled out. “A week. I sleep in the car. But no smoking in it. My wife, she’s mad I’m not home, but I have a job to do until the boss tells me to stop doing it.”

“I hope you get to see her again soon.”

He waved the notion off with a flip of his four-fingered hand. “Spin, he save my life. She just make me crazy all the time. Watching you? Like a vacation.”

“How did he save your life?”

“That is a long story, I promise.”

“I have time.”

He made a motion of locking his lips and throwing away the key. “Let him tell you. But he won’t. He is too modesto.”

“Antonio Spinelli? Modest?”

“Like a priest.”

I bit back a laugh.

thirty-two.

e approached East Side Motors. The yellow and black sign faded orange in the dimming light. The parking lot was clearer, so we pulled in without much trouble. Antonio stood in the middle of the lot in a black suit, waiting. The security lights cast a sunburst of shadows around him.

Otto pulled up. “Buonasera, boss.”

“Thank you, Otto,” Antonio said as he opened my door. “Go on inside and get coffee, then go home and rest.”

“Grazie,” Otto said and disappeared through the garage door.

Antonio took my hand, and I got out of the car.

“Contessa,” Antonio said softly, his face deeply shadowed in the artificial light.

“Yes, Capo?”

He pushed me against the car. “I told you not to see him.”

“He slapped Katrina around. I’m sorry, but I couldn’t wait for you to take care of it.”

“And did you take care of it?” His hands moved up my rib cage, thumbs tucking under my br**sts.

I looked down. “Not really. He won’t take prepayment. He made threats.”

He held my face in one hand, a little too tight, to make me look him in the eye. “He threatened you?”

“He threatened Katrina.” I pushed him off me. “I want to go home. My God, how did I let myself get stuck here?”

I pushed him hard, and he stepped back. Having gotten out from under him, I walked to the open gate. I didn’t know where I was going. I guessed I’d have to call a cab. I could wait for it in the pupuseria down the street, but I knew he wouldn’t let me go. I still wanted the freedom of that open gate and that dark street and those empty sidewalks. I heard him one step behind me, then he grabbed my forearm.

I twisted and yanked away. “Stop!”

His gaze was dark and unreadable for the second I saw him. He shifted, a blur in my vision, then he became a force of movement against me. He picked me up at the waist and carried me over his shoulder. I would have screamed, but he’d knocked the breath out of me. All I could do was watch the light shift on the blacktop as he carried me across it.

I pounded his back, but I was helpless. “Antonio!”

“Be quiet.”

“Stop!”

“Basta, woman.” He avoided the garage where Otto had gone and opened the door to the dark office without breaking his stride, passing the water cooler and the reception desk. He smacked open his office door then slammed it closed with his foot.

With a lung-emptying thud, I was dumped into a chair. He leaned over me, so threatening and powerful that if he demanded it, I’d have told him the sky was beneath my feet.

“Listen to me,” he growled, putting his hands on the chair arms. “I will kill any bastard who touches you. So you walk into a room like that again without me, you’d better want the man dead.”

He meant it. From the tightness in his lips and the lines in his brow, I knew he wasn’t speaking metaphorically. He’d kill for me, and it would be my responsibility.

“I’ll admit I was scared, and you were the first person I thought of,” I said. “And the last person. But in between that, I was afraid of getting you involved.”

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“You’re involved. I’m involved. We can’t go backward now. You said you saw that stupid punk face to face, and I went crazy. I saw you with that other ass, the one who cheated on you, and I went crazy. I don’t have a brain when it comes to you. You know how much trouble it could be for me if I get arrested for something stupid? Like beating that guy with the ugly Porsche? But I thought he kicked you, and I lost my mind.”

“You didn’t even know me.”

He continued as if I hadn’t spoken. “When I was a young, they called me Tonio-botz because I’d go off over nothing. But I’m a man now, and I don’t do that. Tonio-botz was a garbage kid who had no control over himself. But he’s back every time I see you.”

I was scared of him, for him, about him. I was also turned on. I touched his face. “I bet he wasn’t so bad.”

“Please understand.”

“I do. Would you kiss me?”

With breakneck speed and intensity, he kissed me, using his tongue without prelude as if it was a dick shoved in me. I leaned up and he knelt back until we were both on the floor.

“Here.” I pulled his wrist and slid his hand between my legs. “Feel how wet I am.” I pressed his hand under my skirt to my damp panties, moving until his pinkie touched my soaking skin. “It’s never been this easy, and it’s you. This is how I react to you. It terrifies me.”

He sucked air through his teeth. “We’re even then, Contessa.”

“Take me now, please. **** me scared.”

He slipped two fingers in me all the way, pressing as if he wanted to get his whole hand in, and I spread my legs as if I wanted exactly the same thing. He put his face to mine until he took up the curves of my vision. His breath fell on my open mouth as he watched me react to his touch.

“I want to f**k you so hard we have the same skin.”

“Yes,” I gasped, reaching for his belt.

A knock came at the door. “Spin? You in there?”

“****,” he grumbled, then shouted to the door. “What, Zo?”

“Uh, sorry, but uh, we got word from Donna Maria. And you said—”

“All right.” He removed his fingers from me.

Zo didn’t get the message. “You said if we heard from her that—”

“Zo! Basta! I’ll see you inside.” He straightened my panties and skirt. “I’m sorry, Contessa. Business calls. You and I will share a skin later.”

“Can Otto drive me home?”

“I’m sorry, but you’re not going home tonight. I’ll have one of the guys go to your house and pack you a bag. But until I take care of Scott Mabat, you’re staying at my side.” He stood, erection apparent under his pants.

I was still splayed on the floor. “Antonio, really?”

“Really. It’s like the kids’ shows. When the song comes, the bouncing ball tells you when to sing the words.” He put his hand out to help me up. “Just follow along.”

***

We crossed the parking lot holding hands, and when we went into the pitch dark garage, he squeezed my hand. I heard men talking and a thup thup sound.

“Follow along,” he said and opened a door in the back.

In a low room decorated in wood paneling and cigarette smoke, a handful of men faced the same direction. Zo crooked his arm and straightened it quickly. A thup followed, and the others reacted by exchanging handslaps and cash.

Darts.

An Italian flag draped one wall. The chairs were wooden and well worn, like the desk and linoleum floor. I recognized a man in a fedora from outside Zia’s restaurant. Silence fell on the room like a lead curtain.

Antonio kissed me on both cheeks, left first, then right. He stared me in the face for a second before facing his crew. “Signori, this is Theresa. Theresa, you’ve met Lorenzo.”

Zo came up to me as if for the first time and took my hand. “Piacere.” He kissed me on each cheek, right then left, and stepped back.

“Otto, you’re still here?” Antonio said.

He stepped forward and took my hand. “Piacere di conoscerla.” He kissed me the same way, left then right.

“Good to meet you,” I said.

“Now go home,” Antonio said. He indicated a man in a checked jacket and receding hairline. “Enzo, meet Theresa.”

“Very nice to meet you,” he said in a clean California accent I wouldn’t have noticed in any other group.

“You, as well.” I counted three more. Fedora was next.

“Nicolo, this is Theresa.”

“Piacere.” He kissed me quickly, in the middle of counting a stack of bills, as if the whole process was inconvenient.

“Nice to meet you, too.”

“Last, Simone, I’d like you to meet Theresa.”

“Good to meet you!” The only blond in the crew, he shook my hand like a car salesman and smiled big, only kissing each cheek when Antonio shot him a look. He did it right then left, and the mix-up meant we almost kissed on the lips. He laughed.

“Enzo, Nicolo,” Antonio said, “go get the half-Armenian strozzino. Call me when you have him. Zo, bring the lady to the little house then pick her up a bag.”

Otto, Enzo, and Nicolo left, chattering in deep voices.

“Antonio,” I said with warning in my voice.

“The ball with the music,” he said. “Please. Call your roommate and tell her Zo’s coming.”

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“I have work tomorrow.”

“I hope so.” He whispered in my ear, “I’ll come to you. Just wait.”

Paulie burst in. “Hey! I heard there was a formal introduction.”

“Hi, Paulie,” I said.

“This is Theresa,” Antonio said.

Paulie joyfully kissed my left cheek, then my right, and took me by the shoulders. “Welcome. Good to have you.”

“Thanks,” I said.

Paulie turned to Antonio. “We taking care of the Donna Maria thing?”

“Yes. Let me get Theresa set up, then we’ll talk about it.”

thirty-three.

he little house stood up into the foothills behind a hundred feet of allergens. It could have been in the Tennessee mountains for all its foliage and acreage. A skinny kid of about nineteen with an acne problem sat on the porch. He stood when Zo and I drove up.

“Don,” Zo said, “this is Theresa. The boss formally introduced her tonight.”

“Huh,” the kid huffed, as if surprised. “All right, then. Piacere.” His accent was terrible, but he kissed me on both cheeks, left then right.

“Donatello’s gonna be on the porch. He’s keeping his eyes on you so, don’t worry about him.” Zo punched the kid in the arm, and he almost fell over.

“Thanks,” the kid said.

“This is a safe house, isn’t it?” I said.

“Used to be. Now it’s just safe.”

He took me through the two-bedroom house, which looked more lived in than any safe house I’d seen in movies. I saw old world touches all over in the unfinished wood and hand-painted ceramics. The quilt on my bed was deep burgundy, the oil paintings showed seashores and mountains, and the kitchen, the only ultra-modern part of the house, had a basket of fresh fruit on the counter.

“This is Antonio’s house?” I asked.

“Yeah.”

“It’s smaller than my loft.”

Zo shrugged. “He likes it that way.”

“Can you bring Katrina? It’s her I’m worried about.”

“Boss has it covered. He takes care of his people. And after tonight, you’re with us.” Zo kissed me on both cheeks again and left.

***

“Katrina? Are you all right?”

“I got a shard of swan in my foot, I want you to know.”

I was curled up on a strange couch, in a strange house, with a strange guy on the porch to protect me. I had the news on and muted. The ticker moved, and the heads talked. “There’s a guy coming to get a bag for me. Can you put some stuff in it?”

“Cups? Plates? Saucers? What do you want?”

“Are you okay?” I asked.

“When I’m not crying, I’m fine. God, I botched this.”

“We’ll make it right. I don’t know how, but we will. It’s a good movie.”

“I’m going to my parents in the OC tomorrow. I’ll stay a few days and get my **** together. If he chases me there, my dad will just shoot him.”

“Great plan.”

She sniffed. “Do you want the electric toothbrush? Or a regular one?”

“Regular. I don’t intend to be gone long enough to charge the electric one.”

“Okay. I gotta go. Michael’s coming over.”

“Really?”

Daniel’s face appeared on the screen. The ticker told me he was doing the unprecedented: opening a major case against an organized crime family at the tail end of a mayoral campaign.

“Reckless ass**le,” I mumbled.

“Excuse me?”

“Nothing. Have fun with Michael. And, Kat?”

“Yes?”

“There are going to be men around watching you. Stay calm, okay?”

“Jesus, Tee Dray, what are you into?”

“I don’t know, but I think I’m up to my eyeballs.”

***

I slept on the couch until the navy sky faded into morning cyan. He came to me in a haze of pine and musk. His lips were my awakening, the hard firearm at his back a reflection of the hardness between his legs.

“Capo,” I whispered through my sleep.

“Ah, Contessa. I could barely talk tonight. All I wanted to do was make peace so I could f**k you every day and night.” He pulled up my shirt and kissed my belly.

“Is this about the trouble with your men?”

“Done for now. Tie up loose ends tomorrow.” He pushed up my bra.

I wove my fingers in his hair when he sucked my ni**les. “I can go to work?”

“Shh. No talking.” He pulled away and got on his knees, looking at me. He yanked at my skirt and panties, slipping them off. “Spread your legs.” He shrugged out of his jacket and pulled off his shirt. “Touch yourself.” There was a sense of urgency about his manner as he wiggled out of the last of his clothes.

I watched him with my fingers between my legs, stroking my hardened, wet clit. “I want you so bad.” I moaned. “I want you inside me.”

“Shh.” He put his c**k at my opening. He thrust forward.

I put my hands on his shoulders, letting the thrust of his hips take me. He took my hands and pinned them to my sides, wrapping his arms around me tight. He pressed the whole of his body to mine as if he was trying to crawl into my skin. If he did, I couldn’t have stopped him. He had me powerless under his weight, restrained by his desire. My legs were free but pinioned by the fulcrum of his ****.

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“Every day,” he whispered, “I’ll take you like this. In the morning, before coffee, I f**k you. At night, I f**k you harder. In our bedroom, our living room, our kitchen, I’ll love you in every room. Mi amore, I’ll break you with my love and put you back together. And when I retire, you still call me Capo because you’re mine. Always mine.”

His lips spoke into my cheek. I felt wrapped in him, past, present and future. I had no whim or hunger outside the building pleasure in my legs and safe pressure of his skin and muscle.

I gasped. I was going to come. I wondered if my explosion would be held down, tamped by the weight of his arms and the swirling affection in his words. But my orgasm came in a flood. My back arched, and my thighs got stiff. I saw nothing, heard nothing, felt nothing but Antonio. His weight, his breath, his scent, and his pleasure, concurrent with mine, swirled together inside my skin, and I, inside his.

***

We stayed wrapped around each other for a long time, just breathing together. I was so tired, I fell asleep under him. He whispered mi amore, kissing my neck and shoulders, then relaxed his arms.

“My Capo,” I said. “Always.”

“You should sleep.” He brushed wet strands of hair from my face as if it was of great concern. “I brought your bag.”

“I hope she packed work clothes.”

“You stay here today. I haven’t taken care of the strozzino yet.”

“Antonio, please. I have to live.”

He pressed his fingers to my lips. “What do you think happened last night?”

“I followed the bouncing ball.”

“You are under my protection. My crew recognizes you. They can’t touch you, and they will protect you. But you also have a responsibility to us to stay out of trouble. For a few days, things will be disrupted. Bruno and Vito, they’re doing their own thing. I didn’t want that. Vito, with the young girls…” He rubbed his eyes. “I don’t like it, but…” He looked up and crooked his neck as if shaking off the thought. “We have to pay tribute to another family, so everyone recognizes them as their own thing, not just us. This has to be completed before I can let you walk around without an escort.”

“What?” I sat up, and he moved off me.

“I couldn’t isolate you and keep you safe. This was the only way. You’re untouchable now, as long as you obey the rules.”

“What are the rules?”

“Do not talk to the press or police. Not talk about our business with anyone. Not ask questions.” He held up his hand to my pending objections. “You can ask me. But no one else. I have all the information. My men only know some things, and if they talk, you get half the story. And I know what can hurt you.”

“You might have mentioned this before all the double kissing happened.”

“What am I asking? That you be loyal? That you come to me first? Only the saying of it makes you sit up and cross your arms.”

I huffed. Of course he was right. Of course I had no intention of ratting him out or investigating him further. It was indeed the list of rules that bristled me.

“This needs to be on a probationary basis,” I said.

“One minute probation,” he said then kissed me, his hand tight on my jaw, his tongue prying my mouth open. He stopped. “My minute’s up, Contessa. Are you still mine?”

“You are my Capo,” I whispered. “But I’m mad at you.”

“Get in the shower then before I f**k you again.”

***

Katrina had packed everything I needed. One set of work clothes, one set of regular clothes. Shoes, toiletries, and a note.

Tee – Thank you for everything. You are a shining star. I promise not to let you down. You’ll be proud of me one day.

Be safe, okay?

The Directrix

When I got out of the bathroom, Antonio held up my phone. “What are we going to do about this guy?”

There was a text from Daniel.

—need to speak with you in person by tomorrow—

“What are we going to do about you looking at my texts?”

“As long as you’re talking to him and the thing is face up on the table, I’ll look.”

“You don’t trust me?” I asked.

“I do.”

“I think you’re missing an opportunity to get some inside information, Capo.”

He crossed his arms and narrowed his gaze. “Contessa.”

“If I don’t see him, he’s going to get suspicious. He’s just opened a case against, I’m assuming, you? Knowing I might be with you? Let me see him and find out what he wants.”

“You’re going to spy for me? I don’t want that from you, ever.”

“To be honest, I just want to go home and have kind of a normal day. You know, one where I don’t see a gun or take part in some ritual I don’t understand.”

“And you need to see Daniel Brower to do that?”

“He’s not a loan shark or a baby capo looking for territory. He’s not going to hate you any more than he already does, and he’ll never touch me. What’s the harm in me putting on my work clothes and taking a lunch?” I put my hands on his forearms, and he dropped them. “We’ll be in public. I promise.” I slipped my hands around his waist and held him close.

He put his arms around me and kissed my head. “Come volevi tu.”

thirty-four.

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nzo drove me home in a charcoal grey Ferrari and left me in the parking lot. I went right to my car and made it to work just in time.

Pam was business as usual, dozen red roses on her desk notwithstanding.

“Good morning,” I said.

“Morning.”

“What do I have today?”

Pam rattled off a list of meeting and conferences. I texted Daniel.

—What time today?—

—Stuff exploded. Tomorrow ok? Before lunch, 30 min?—

—No prob—

“Can you reserve the big conference room at eleven thirty tomorrow?” I asked Pam.

She tapped around. “It’s free. Who are you meeting?”

I looked over her shoulder. The blinking cursor required an answer to who would be in the room with me. “Daniel Brower.”

She tapped it in, her expression sour under her rhinestone-tipped horn rims. “You know, polling this morning shows he’s in the lead for mayor.”

I plucked the card from the roses. “I knew he didn’t need me to win.”

Tonight.

I smiled to myself. Tonight, indeed.

***

I tried to keep my mind on my meetings and rows of numbers. I smoothed things over between two accountants on my team while think about Antonio’s body. I didn’t know how much longer I could stay at WDE. I hadn’t been fully engaged in my job in months. After spending time with Antonio, the job felt like a blunter, dimmer version of life.

I kept Antonio’s phone in my pocket. When it rang during a meeting, I excused myself and answered in the hall. “Capo?”

“Paulie.”

I might have blushed, as if he’d walked in on my dirty thoughts. “Hi, Paulie.”

“I’m coming to pick you up from work. Is six okay?”

“Sure. I can leave my car in the lot.”

“See you then.”

***

Our valet was in the alley behind the building, and Paulie’s Ferrari fit right in. When I came out, he was leaning against it in the shade of a bougainvillea hedge, smoking a cigarette.

“Hey,” I said. “What happened to you?” I pointed to my lower lip, indicating the split on the bottom of his.

“Fell on a guy’s fist.”

“You should watch where you’re walking.”

“He’s taken care of. You can tell your friend the loan’s forgiven.”

“I’ll give him his money. I don’t want to steal it,” I said.

“Don’t worry about it.”

He opened the passenger door, and I got in. He obviously didn’t want to discuss the money. I’d wait, but I had every intention of making sure Katrina’s production was clean.

“Where are we going?” I asked.

“San Pedro.”

“We going to the beach?” I asked facetiously. San Pedro did indeed have a beach. It was also home to the loading docks and a notorious organized crime stronghold.

“We have an office down there.”

“Of course you do.”

With that, he drove into the traffic of Wilshire Boulevard.

“Where are you from, Paulie? You sound American.”

“Here. Born and raised. Pure-blooded Angelino dego.”

“Have you always been, um, in the life?”

He flung his hand back, as if indicating everything behind him. “Few generations. I’m as in it as Spin.”

“And you guys partnered? I mean, were you here first? Did he just muscle in or what?”

“He told me you were full of questions.”

“Did he tell you how frustrating it is to not ask any?”

He swung south onto LaCienega. “Doesn’t occur to me. I stay inside the lines. Safer that way. No questions because everyone already knows the answers.”

I didn’t say anything all the way down to the 10 freeway. He went east, and the wind drowned us out.

Paulie started talking as if he’d been working on his answer the whole time. “Spin came here with a bloodline, which is important. Gives him credibility, you know? He came right to me and asked for my permission to do some business. Did it exactly right, too.”

“I can’t imagine him asking permission to do anything.”

“Wasn’t like I couldn’t tell right away he could run a crew. And I’ll tell you, it would have been stupid for me not to partner up.”

“Why?”

“Because I like money, that’s why,” he said.

“He knows how to get it, I presume?”

When he didn’t answer, I thought I’d said too much, pushed him past his comfort level. He rubbed his lip as he changed lanes.

“How did your family get their money?” he asked.

“Generations of stealing followed by a few generations of legalized thievery. Now it’s all compounded interest.”

He laughed. “You’re honest.”

“Sometimes.”

“I’m going to be honest with you then.”

“Oh, this is already so much better than that meeting I cancelled.”

“My partner, he likes you.”

I was going to joke about being relieved but decided against it. This seemed very serious to him, so I shut up.

“He introduced you. That doesn’t happen every day. He’s got girls who are in the life. Like family.” He turned to me briefly then looked back at the road. “Do you know what I mean by that?”

“I think so.”

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“Okay, so none of them are anything. But you? He’s lost his ****. He’s pissing himself. After today, ****’s gonna change, and I don’t know if you can handle it.”

“Are you sure he’d want you telling me this?”

“I’m not telling you anything you can use. Reason is, and I’m being honest here, I don’t trust you.”

I watched the train stops in the center of the 110. The road was relatively clear. Paulie kept left, and everyone got out of the way.

“I guess I don’t blame you,” I said.

The paper bag-brown sky of San Pedro crept over the horizon. Giant chair-shaped cranes loomed over the portal to the sea.

“Thanks for helping with my sister that night,” I said.

“No problem.”

“You were very level-headed.”

“Thanks. You too.”

thirty-five.

aulie pulled into the docking area with a wave. Yellow and black striped barriers went up everywhere, allowing a right, then a left, to an alcove inside a parking lot that housed two trailers and a couple of cars.

“You really know how to schmooze a girl, Paulie.”

He winked at me, and we got out. I followed him to two red shipping containers fifty feet from a sheer concrete drop to the fouled water of the harbor.

“Okay, kid, here’s the deal,” Paulie said. “You’re not going to care for this, but you’re going in there with me. I am not going to hurt you. I’m not going to hurt anyone you care about. I’m telling the truth when I say you need to see something.”

I hadn’t been nervous. I knew Antonio was at the end of this journey, so I’d felt safe. As Paulie spoke, I became unsure and my heart pounded. The container had no windows or doors. Once I went in, I could be easily trapped.

“Let’s go then,” I said.

He grabbed the silver pole and yanked it down with a clack. He swung the door open, and it creaked so loudly I was reminded of a horror movie. When the triangle of light cut the dark tunnel, I had second thoughts.

“I’ll leave the door open a crack,” Paulie said.

“You coming in with me?”

“Right behind you.”

I didn’t feel safe. I didn’t feel threatened, but I didn’t delude myself into thinking Paulie would jump a pack of wolves for me, double kiss or not. I stepped up to the entrance anyway. Maybe curiosity drove me. Maybe a quest for self-destruction. Maybe I wanted to grab a little badass cred and put it in my Prada bag or walk in riskier shoes.

Two steps in, I heard wet, arrhythmic breathing. Then the door closed, and the box went dark.

“You said you were leaving the door open,” I said.

“Oops.”

The light flicked on, drowning the tunnel in flat, industrial illumination. A man was curled against the wall, his ankle chained to a hook on the side of the container. I’d thought I was nervous and scared before. But when the door opened again, I understood what it felt like to jump out of my own skin.

Paulie laughed. He leaned on the wall casually tapping his phone.

Zo stuck his head in. “There you are.”

“Come on in,” Paulie said.

“Hi, Miss Drazen,” Zo said. “How you doing?”

“I’m fine.”

Zo glanced at Paulie then the guy.

“She’s cool,” Paulie said. “Let’s see him.”

Snapping the door shut, Zo crossed the length of the shipping container in about four steps. He kicked the guy to semi-consciousness. “Hey, ass**le.”

He picked up the man by the back of his collar. His face was beaten bloody, but I still recognized Scott Mabat. Zo plucked a bottle of soda from his jacket pocket and shook it before tossing it to Paulie. Paulie nodded as he passed me, tapping the bottle cap to his forehead as if tipping his cap to me. It left a dot of condensation. The soda must be ice cold.

“Time to get up, Scotty.” Paulie opened the bottle into Mabat’s face.

“****!” Scott yelped.

“Welcome back.”

“**** you!” He spat blood.

“I know it’s been a rough night. So I brought you something pretty to look at.” Paulie yanked Scott’s face around until I was in his line of sight.

****. I had to decide what to do quickly, and I decided to do what I always did. Show nothing. Give nothing. Own it.

“Where’s Antonio?” I asked.

“Taking care of business. He’s on his way.”

“****ing frigid bitch,” Scott said.

“Same wonderful sense of humor, I see.” I said.

Zo laughed long and loud then petered.

Paulie capped the soda bottle and turned to me. “So I have a problem, and I think you can help me solve it. Scotty here is the victim of my partner’s protective streak. I didn’t know he had one. But it’s there.”

Scott coughed and sputtered. “I’m gonna f**king kill you.” He stared at me then coughed again.

“You’re being paid, Mister Mabat. I have the money ready to be wired.” I clipped every word, keeping it business despite the piss I smelled on him. I refused to be sick. I refused to even have a feeling about what was happening. Now wasn’t the time for feelings, only thoughts. Cold ones. I couldn’t get muddied.

“**** the money,” Scott said. “I’m getting your friend’s tits.”

“See,” Paulie continued, before I could snap back at Scott. “I have this trust thing with you, like we talked about. So I looked into you, your whole family. You’re clean, but a couple of you got your fingers in shady pies. Your father could teach me something about the business.”

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“And you could teach Scott something about the importance of research.”

Paulie’s mouth tightened, and I knew he was holding back a smile. “You hear that, Scotty? You taking notes?”

“I’m gonna put my fist up her little Viet-cong ass,” Scott growled at me.

“Yeah,” Paulie said. “Scotty over here is touching on something I’m getting to.”

“Make her suck my fingers after.”

“Shut up, douche.” Zo slapped Scott, sending a splash of blood to the wall.

I noticed then that there was no blood on the walls or floor. A gruesome observation, but it told me that he’d been beaten and moved there.

“Personally,” Paulie continued, “I like you. I think I mighta f**ked you if Spin wasn’t already whipped. But here you are, hanging around the neighborhood, DA’s girlfriend, looking for ****. So I'm nervous. Then there you are, being introduced, and I can’t say ****. Even if it’s common sense, I gotta button it because those are the rules. Everyone’s got rules but the women.”

“I got pulled in. You forget.”

“No. I didn’t forget, and I don’t care what you do on purpose,” Paulie said. “This whole thing with Vito? Spin was already pissed he had a valet thing on the side. A straight job, no less. But then he beat his ass over some bull**** about a girl he didn’t even know. And why? Because he’s pu**y whipped. Then Bruno partners up with Vito, and I got two guys Spin’s after, guns blazing. He’s beating on their friends trying to find them. Four days, my partner didn’t make no sense. Four days he forgot the rules, and everyone runs to Donna Maria looking for help. It gets so bad he’s gotta ask permission from another family to do what’s his right to do. Now I’m dragged in, thinking you must have a magic ****.”

Scott scooted around on his knees. His hands were tied behind his back, and one shoulder looked dislocated. He needed a hospital stay.

“Here’s what I told our boy here,” Paulie continued. “I told him I’m not gonna kill him. I told him you were an accessory to all this. And I told him he couldn’t touch you. You are protected, by us, indefinitely. This will keep my partner happy, and you alive, because this guy’s pissed.” He pushed Scott down with his foot. “Right, you Armenian f**k? You’re pissed, right?”

Scott tried to spit on him, but gravity put the spit back on his face. Paulie leaned closer, in spit range, but Scott didn’t appear to have a drop of saliva left.

“You’re gonna take it out on someone, aren’t you?” Paulie asked.

Scott smiled through a bloody mouth.

“You sold him Katrina,” I whispered.

“Maybe. That’s up to you.”

He stepped back and let Scott and me look at each other. Worry and fear crept through my skin. Resist them though I might, I wasn’t calloused to this. I was a nice girl with a beach house and perfect grades.

“Well then, Mister Patalano, it looks like I’m going to have to figure something out.” I turned to leave, but Paulie held me back with a hand to my shoulder.

“I’m not done.”

“I disagree.”

“You can run to the DA. You can run to daddy. But I know your father better than you do, even if I never met him. Our families aren’t strangers, if you know what I mean. And the DA? Don’t get me started. Your girlfriend has a couple of family here in Orange County. A few friends. She disappears, it’s in the news this week, and next week London Westin’s worn-out pu**y’s in the papers.”

He reached in his jacket. He was going for his gun. I think my panic must have been visible then, because he held out his hand to calm me. He slowly pulled the firearm.

“I have a solution for you,” Paulie said. “You want to earn my trust? If you earn that, you and your girlfriend will be under my protection. This guy won’t touch either of you.” He handed me the gun.

Zo spoke up, “Paulie, whoa! The f**k?”

“Shut up, Zo.” It sat in the flat of his hand like an offering. “Take him out. Problem solved.”

Scott laughed, lightly at first. Maybe a smarter person than I am would have deduced another solution. Maybe a more naturally manipulative person would have stalled long enough to change the course of events. But I was empty. I took the gun. It was lighter than I expected. Easier to pick up. Maybe I thought it should weigh some more supernatural amount, equal to the death inside it.

“Take him out, and you’re going to solve all kinds of problems,” Paulie said.

“You’re nuts, you know that?”

“I’m hedging a bet. It’s a million to one you have the spine for it. And I gotta be honest, I want you out of the picture.”

“Paulie, come on,” Zo said.

“Shut the f**k up, Zo.” The man with the bow lips stood close to me, engaging in a staring contest I had no intention of losing.

“She can’t get made, no ways,” Zo pleaded.

I said softly, “This is a very risky proposition.”

“No, it’s not.”

“****.” Zo was freaking out. “Pauls, what if she misses and hits me?”

“Pick him up,” Paulie said without releasing me from his gaze. “Let her get a good shot.”

“I’m not killing anyone,” I said.

“My money’s on you not even pulling the trigger.”