Fun fun fun

Ngôn ngưf toán học cho ngươ?i không gio?i toán
A Corollary Bypass
After applying some simple algebra to some trite phrases and cliches, a new understanding can be reached of the secret to wealth and success.
Here it goes.
Knowledge is Power
Time is Money and as everyone knows, Power is Work divided by Time.
So, substituting algebraic equations for these time worn bits of wisdom, we get:
K = P (1)
T = M (2)
P = W/T (3)
Now, do a few simple substitutions:
Put W/T in for P in equation (1), which yields:
K = W/T (4)
Put M in for T into equation (4), which yields:
K = W/M (5).
Now we''ve got something. Expanding back into English, we get:
Knowledge equals Work divided by Money.
What this MEANS is that:
1. The More You Know, the More Work You Do,
and
2. The More You Know, the Less Money You Make.
Solving for Money, we get:
M = W/K (6)
Money equals Work divided by Knowledge.
From equation (6) we see that Money approaches infinity as Knowledge approaches 0, regardless of the Work done.
What THIS MEANS is:
The More you Make, the Less you Know.
Solving for Work, we get
W = M x K (7)
Work equals Money times Knowledge
From equation (7) we see that Work approaches 0 as Knowledge approaches 0.
What THIS MEANS is:
The stupid rich do little or no work.
Working out the socioeconomic implications of this breakthrough is left as an exercise for the reader.
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ONLY IN AMERICA
1.Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
4. Only in America......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
5. Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
6. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
7. Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won''t miss a
call from someone we didn''t want to talk to in the first place.
8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
9. Only in America......do we use the word ''politics'' to describe the process so well: ''Poli'' in Latin meaning ''many'' and ''tics'' meaning ''bloodsucking creatures''.
10. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

EVER WONDER???
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Why women can''t put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why don''t you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you have to click on "Start"?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn''t there mouse-flavored cat food?
When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
Why didn''t Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don''t they make the whole plane out of that
stuff?!
Why don''t sheep shrink when it rains?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

Hey fki, how are you doing? Cool stuffs! That sounds pretty fun! Yeah, that''s true to ONLY in America

Posted by @fki
The differences between men and women
1. Relationship
A man does not call a relationship a relationship - he refers to it as "that time when me and Suzie were boinking on a semiregular basis"
When a relationship ends, a woman will cry and pour her heart out to the girlfriends, and she will write a poem titled " All Men are Idiots", then she will get on with her life.
A man has a little more trouble letting go. Six months after the break at 3 am early on a Sunday morning, he will call and say "I just wanna let you know that you ruined my life and I will never forgive you, I hate you, you''''re totally floozy (gosh!). But I want you to know there''''s always a chance for us" This is known as the "I hate you/I love you" drunken phone call, that 99% of all men have made at least one. There are community colleges that offer courses to help men get over this need, alas these classes rarely prove effective"
2. Maturity
Women mature much faster than men. Most 17 year-old females can function as adults while most 17 year-old boys are still trading baseball cards and giving each others wedgies after gym class. This is why high school romances rarely work out.
3. Handwriting
To their cre***, men do not decorate their penmanship, they just chicken-scratch. Women use scented, colored stationery and they dot their "I''''s" with circles and hearts. Women use ridicolous large loops in their "p''''s" and "g''''s". It is a royal pain to read a note from a woman. Even when she is dumping you, she''''ll put a smiling face at the end of the note.
4. Magazines
Men''''s magazines feature pictures of naked women, women''''s magazines also feature pictures of naked women. This is because the female body is a beautiful work of art, while the male body is ... (nothing more to say)
5. Groceries
A woman makes a list of things she needs and then goes to the store and buys these things. A man waits until the only items left in his fridge are half of a lemon, and something turning green - then he goes grocery shopping, there he''''ll buys everything that looks good.
6. Going out
When a man says he''''s ready to go, it means he''''s ready to go out. When a woman says she is ready to go out, it means that she WILL be ready to go out, as soon as she finds her other earing, finishes her make up.. blah blah.
7. Shoes
When preparing for work, a woman will put on a Mondi wool suit, and then slip into Reebok sneakers. She will carry her dress shoes in a plastic bag from Saks. When she arrives at work, she will put on her dress shoes. Five minutes later, she will kick them off because her feet are under her desk. A man wears one pair of shoes for the entire day.
8. Cats
Women love cats, men say they love too, but when women aren''''t looking, men kick cats.
9. Mirrors
Men are vain, they will check themselves out in the mirror. Women are ridiculous, they will check out their reflections in any shiny surface - mirrors, spoons, stores'''' windows, toasters, Joe Garagionla''''s head...
10. The telephone
Man see the telephone as a communications tool, they use the telephone to send short messages to others. A woman can visit her girlfriend for 2 weeks, and upon returning home, she will call the same friends and they will talk for three hours.
11. Directions
If a woman is out driving and she finds herself in unfamiliar surroundings, she will stop at a gas station and ask for directions.
Men consider this a sign of weakness, a man will never stop and ask for directions. Men will drive in a circle for hours, all the while saying things like "Looks like I have found new way to get there", or "I know I''''m in the neiborhood, I recognize that White Hen store".
12. Dressing up
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, get the mail.. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
13. Nu***y in movies
Every actress in the history of movies has had to do a nude scence, this is because every movies in the history of movies has been produced by men. The only actor who has ever appeared nude in the movies is Richard Gere - another reason why men hate him.
14. Cameras
Men take photography very seriously. They''''ll shell out $4000 for state-of-the-art equipment and build darkroom, take photography classes. Women purchase Kodak Instamatics and often produces better looking shots.
15. Politics
Men love to talk about politics, but they often forget to do political things such as voting. Women are very happy that another generation of Kenedys is growing up and getting into politics, because they will be able to campaingn for them and cry on election night.
16. Laundry
Women do laundry every couple of days. A man will weats every article of clothing he owns, including his surgical pants that were hip about eight years ago. When he is finally out of clothes, he will wear a dirty sweatshirt inside out, rent a U-Haul and take his mountain of clothes to the laundromat and expect to meet a beautiful woman when he gets there.
17. Weddings
When reminiscing about weddings, women talk about the "ceremony", men talk about the "Bachelor party"
18. Toys
Little girls love to play with toys, then when they reach the age of 11 or 12, they lose interest. Men never grow out of their obsession with toys. As they get older, their toys simply become more expensive and impactical. Examples of mens toys :mini TV''''s, car phones, complicated juicers and blenders, graphic equalizers, small robots that serve coktail on command, video games and anything that blinks, beeps and requires at least six "D" batteries to operate.
19. Plants
A woman will ask a man to water their plants while she is on vacation, the man will do it. And when the woman returns five days later, the apartment''''s full of dead plants. No one knows why this happens.
20. Mustaches
Some men look good with mustaches: Tom Selleck and Burt Reynolds. There are no women that look good with mustaches.

Chị fki ơi em chuyển bài của chị vào chủ đề Fun Fun Fun nhé! Chị có cái gì vui vui post vào đấy luôn thể, em khoá chủ đề này lại nhé!

Classic!

Not all tha man eh, miss Fki? We''''re different; we''''re the same. Ha ha. Good stuff. Keep posting , lady.

"One night, while we were still sleeping soundly, we heard a strange cry from the sea," narrated Mr Thinh, the head of Reu Island authorities.
"We woke up and went in the direction of the noise and found a male monkey lying exhausted on the shore. It turned out that the poor thing had swam cross an 800m distance between the two islets - Ground Reu and Stone Reu - to meet his girlfriend after they had being unintentionally separated for months. When they were reunited, they show great joy and have been together since," he concluded.
(Reu Island is in Bai Tu Long Bay, in the northen province of Quang Ninh)
(Sunday Vietnam News, April 11, 2004)

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