FUN STORY AND ENGLISH IDIOM!!!

I'm a man who like Mathematics. Not only so but also I like English very much, too. But my English is not good. So I want to learn English on English club. Tp appear before the club, I have some fun stories and English idioms. And this is first story:

THE KING AND THE PHILOSOPHER
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A king liked to write poems and thought his poems were very good. As he was a king, the people he showed the poems to always praised him to the skies.
One day, he showed some of his poems to a philosopher who didn't like them at all and told the king that the poems were very poor. This made the king so angry that he sent the philosopher to prison.
Sometime passed, the king freed the philosopher. A week later, the king invited him to dinner. He showed a new poem which the king had just written and ask the man what he thought of it. The philosopher turned to the soldier who were standing at the door and said "Take me back to the prison"
Might goes before right



Hu*ng

ONLY ONE NOSE​

"Tell me, grandmother" Jane asked, "Why do I have two eyes, two ears, two hands, two feet but only one nose?"
"I will tell you why, Jane" her grandmother said "You have two eyes so as to see more, two ear to hear more, two hands and two feet to do more and to walk more nut only one nose so as to poke it into other people's business"
Two is company, three is none
(Ba bà chín chuyện)

Quỉ con

Được Le_khiet2007 sửa chữa / chuyển vào 14:20 ngày 30/07/2002

No one is listening until you fart
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes
We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse..

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat & drink beer all day

I think this's not actually an idiom, but it's a really good expression! I picked it from a book called " Message in a bottle" by Nicholas Sparks. I thought you guys would like it. Here it is:
Thank you for coming into my life and giving me joy.Thank you for loving me and receiving my love in return.Thank you for the memories I will cherish forever.But most of all, thank you for showing me that there will come a time when I can eventually let you go!!!
DNBT
Love is not finding a perfect person
It's about seeing an imperfect person perfectly!

There are three kinds of mathematicians:
those who can count and those who can't.
There are two groups of people in the world;
those who believe that the world can be
divided into two groups of people,
and those who don't.
There are two groups of people in the world:
Those who can be categorized into one of two
groups of people, and those who can't.
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The Flood is over and the ark has landed. Noah lets all the animals out and says, "Go forth and multiply."
A few months later, Noah decides to take a stroll and see how the animals are doing. Everywhere he looks he finds baby animals. Everyone is doing fine except for one pair of little snakes. "What's the problem?" says Noah.
"Cut down some trees and let us live there", say the snakes.
Noah follows their advice. Several more weeks pass. Noah checks on the snakes again. Lots of little snakes, everybody is happy. Noah asks, "Want to tell me how the trees helped?"
"Certainly", say the snakes. "We're adders, so we need logs to multiply."
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What is "pi"?
Mathematician: Pi is the ratio of the circumference of a circle to its diameter.
Engineer: Pi is about 22/7.
Physicist: Pi is 3.14159 plus or minus 0.000005
Computer Programmer: Pi is 3.141592653589 in double precision.
Nutritionist: You one track math-minded fellows, Pie is a healthy and delicious dessert!
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A biologist, a statistician, a mathematician and a computer scientist are on a photo-safari in africa. They drive out on the savannah in their jeep, stop and scout the horizon with their binoculars.
The biologist: "Look! There's a herd of zebras! And there, in the middle : A white zebra! It's fantastic! There are white zebra's! We'll be famous!"
The statistician: "It's not significant. We only know there's one white zebra."
The mathematician: "Actually, we only know there exists a zebra, which is white on one side."
The computer scientist: "Oh, no! A special case!"
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An engineer, a chemist and a mathematician are staying in three adjoining cabins at an old motel. First the engineer's coffee maker catches fire. He smells the smoke, wakes up, unplugs the coffee maker, throws it out the window, and goes back to sleep.
Later that night the chemist smells smoke too. He wakes up and sees that a cigarette butt has set the trash can on fire. He says to himself, "Hmm. How does one put out a fire? One can reduce the temperature of the fuel below the flash point, isolate the burning material from oxygen, or both. This could be accomplished by applying water." So he picks up the trash can, puts it in the shower stall, turns on the water, and, when the fire is out, goes back to sleep.
The mathematician, of course, has been watching all this out the window. So later, when he finds that his pipe ashes have set the bedsheet on fire, he is not in the least taken aback. He says: "Aha! A solution exists!" and goes back to sleep.
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One day a mathematician decides that he is sick of math. So, he walks down to the fire department and announces that he wants to become a fireman.
The fire chief says, "Well, you look like a good guy. I'd be glad to hire you, but first I have to give you a little test."
The firechief takes the mathematcian to the alley behind the fire department which contains a dumpster, a spigot, and a hose. The chief then says, "OK, you're walking in the alley and you see the dumpster here is on fire. What do you do?"
The mathematician replies, "Well, I hook up the hose to the spigot, turn the water on, and put out the fire."
The chief says, "That's great... perfect. Now I have to ask you just one more question. What do you do if you're walking down the alley and you see the dumpster is not on fire?"
The mathematician puzzles over the question for awhile and he finally says, "I light the dumpster on fire."
The chief yells, "What? That's horrible! Why would you light the dumpster on fire?"
The mathematician replies, "Well, that way I reduce the problem to one I've already solved."
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