HAD TICKETS FOR THE AMERICAN CULTURE SHOW?

If you''re American...

You know how baseball, basketball, and American football are played. If you''re male, you can argue intricate points about their rules. On the other hand (and unless you''re under about 20), you don''t care that much for soccer.

You think of McDonald''s, Burger King, KFC etc. as cheap food.

Between "black" and "white" there are no other races. Someone with one black and one white parent looks black to you.

It''s not all that necessary to learn foreign languages anyway. You can travel the continent using nothing but English -- and get by pretty well in the rest of the world, too.

Mustard comes in jars. Shaving cream comes in cans. Milk comes in plastic jugs or cardboard boxes, and occasionally in bottles.

If a politican has been cheating on his wife, you would question his ability to govern.

You''ve probably seen Star Wars, ET, Home Alone, Casablanca, and Snow White. If you''re under forty, add Blazing Saddles, Terminator, Jaws, and 2001; otherwise, add Gone with the Wind, A Night at the Opera, Psycho, and Citizen Kane.

Image Your country has never been conquered by a foreign nation.

The people who appear on the most popular talk shows are mostly entertainers, politicians, or rather strange individuals. Certainly not, say, authors.

There sure are a lot of lawyers.

If you have an appointment, you''ll mutter an excuse if you''re five minutes late, and apologize profusely if it''s ten minutes. An hour late is almost inexcusable.

AND THERE''S MORE TO AMERICANS!!



If you''ve had this Sunday evening spare, why not join us and rock yourself then? There you go!