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Help to correct my writing. [Need help]

Chủ đề trong 'Anh (English Club)' bởi palabattle, 26/09/2010.

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  1. palabattle

    palabattle Thành viên mới

    Tham gia ngày:
    14/09/2010
    Bài viết:
    15
    Đã được thích:
    0
    Normal 0 false false false EN-US X-NONE X-NONE MicrosoftInternetExplorer4 /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} [FONT=&quot]Hi everybody, [/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]I have written a CV or a resume in English. To make sure it is corrected in grammar and sentence patterns, I’m doing my favor to ask everyone for a help to correct my writing. Could everybody help me for this? I guess that we will have a good discussion in my topic. There is only one part of my CV, and it is a little bit short, so don’t worry about it. We just make fun for our job to correct it. The paragraph as follow:[/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]PERSONAL BACKGROUND[/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]I’m living with my parents and my younger sister. My family has 4 members. My father is a veteran and my mother is a doctor. My father also worked in the hospital before he was a veteran. In 1970 my parents has work together in Saigon Hospital, then they get marriage in 1976. Now, my father is retired and my mother still being a doctor at Saigon Hospital. From 1985, my family had moved to Cao Lanh – Dong Thap province to live and I was porn here. After two years, I had a younger sister. In 2003, my family had moved to Hochiminh city to live due to my studying at college. After 4 years study at college, I get a job at Legamex Company and worked here for almost three years. After that I quit the job and study at Saigon Institute of Technology in 2006. At this time, I was graduated student from Houston Community College and finding a good job.[/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]In my work objective, I’m always working hard and looking the job as a passion. For me, to complete the work is the most important factor. In ad***ion, I have a motto for my working is always loyal to the organization and look at the organization as a part of my family. Finally, I always try to open minded for good opportunities for my organization, and help to develop my organization in a good way.[/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]In the future, I will try to earn money, and gain experience with my job. I will create new methods or new knowledge in the information technology industry. And if I have time and money, I will continue study at SaigonTech to take the university degree.[/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]I hope everybody feel pleasure to help me.[/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]Regard[/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]Palabattle[/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot] [/FONT]
  2. tphat2009

    tphat2009 Thành viên rất tích cực

    Tham gia ngày:
    02/08/2009
    Bài viết:
    3.456
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    4
    1. Check your grammar.

    2. Look for sample resumes online. Resume usually contains your education background, history of employment. What you wrote above is best included in a letter of introduction. More over, you don't need to include history of your family. The potential employer wants to know about you, not your family. There are two reasons for this, first, they don't have time, and second, they don't care about the history of your family.
  3. RafaelO

    RafaelO Thành viên mới

    Tham gia ngày:
    17/07/2004
    Bài viết:
    152
    Đã được thích:
    0
    My advise to you is:

    Use standard CV templates, be professional, be informative.
    Lengthy sentences are not impressive during CV scanning, save them for eventual face-to-face interview.

    Recruiting managers read CVs according to set criteria.
    It's your professional résumé that matters in the selection process, not your autobiography.

    Good lucks !
  4. palabattle

    palabattle Thành viên mới

    Tham gia ngày:
    14/09/2010
    Bài viết:
    15
    Đã được thích:
    0
    [FONT=&quot]Hi,

    These paragraphs are completely taken from a CV. Also because I just want to ask some particular paragraphs for their grammar and sentence structure correction. I also thank you for your advices. They are really helpful to me.

    By the way, the correct form of these paragraphs is already available. Please look at the correct forms as below. For further information about these paragraphs, please contact me by this email: tuyetkimsa@yahoo.com

    [/FONT]
    [FONT=&quot]Finally, thank you guys too much! And this is a return for your help, two songs from very good Japanese animes "True Tears" and "Ai Yori Aoshi" with HD standard. Could you download them?

    Link: http://www.mediafire.com/?80on20e03jl0jwn
    http://www.mediafire.com/?sf2fpvowtyhvydb[/FONT]


    [FONT=&quot]PERSONAL BACKGROUND[/FONT]

    [FONT=&quot]I’m living with my parents and my younger sister. My father is a veteran and my mother is a doctor. My father also worked for the army as a doctor before he was a veteran. In 1970 my parents worked together in Saigon Hospital, and they got married in 1976. My father has retired and my mother, at present, is working as a doctor. My younger sister is a student of Hochiminh Medical University. In 1985, my family moved to Cao Lanh – Dong Thap province and I was born there. Two years later, I had a younger sister. In 2003, my family had to move back to Hochiminh city due to my attendance at college. Just after one year study at college, I took a job at Legamex Company and had worked there till I graduated. After that I quitted the job and studied at Saigon Institute of Technology in 2006. At this time, I have graduated from Houston Community College and finding a suitable job.[/FONT]

    [FONT=&quot]As for my attitude towards the job, I always consider labor as a passion which always motivates me to work harder and harder. My motto in work is "always faithfully to my organization and see them as my family". Thus, I will try my best to bring much opportunity to my organization and contribute to their development.[/FONT]

    [FONT=&quot]In the future, I will try to earn money as well as gain experience with my job. I will create new methods or new knowledge in the information technology industry. And if I have time and money, I will continue study at SaigonTech to take the university degree.[/FONT]


    [FONT=&quot]Regard
    Kim Sa[/FONT]

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