Joke of the day!!!

Secret To Making A Marriage Last
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1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little wine, some good food and companionship. She goes Tuesday's, I go Friday's.
2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in New York and mine is in L.A.
3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen.
5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

MeoHoang

A wealthy tycoon bought a 1000 acre farm. He paid more than the property was worth because a magnificent pine, reputed to be 300 years old, was growing there. Back in the city, many of his associates didn't belive the tree was that old, so the new owner called his caretaker, Zeke, to verify the tree's age.
Four days later, Zeke reported his findings. "Great news, boss" he exclaimed. "This tree is even older than we thought - 332 years".
"Good work, Zeke" said the tycoon. "How did you pinpoint its age?".
"Simple. We cut down and counted the rings".

A BEAUTIFUL MIND - A BEAUTIFUL LIFE

-Is it in...?
-Ahh, yes.
-Does it fit..?
-Ahh, umm, yes.
-Does it hurt you..?
-Umm, no, no, I feel wonderful
-Shall I ....wrap your old shoes then ?
----Tough times don't last but tough people do----

3 Blondes
Three blondes are celebrating their success in a pub.
The bartender asks them: "Girls, what's the reason for the celebration?"
One of the blondes responds: "Well, we just finished this puzzle and it toke us only a month, while the box indicated: 3 to 6 years!"...
uh - oh