Joke of the day

An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question final exam after an entire semester dealing with a broad array of topics. The class was already seated and ready to go when the professor picked up his chair, plopped it on his desk and wrote on the board: "Using everything we have learned this semester, prove that this chair does not exist." Fingers flew, erasers erased, notebooks were filled in furious fashion. Some students wrote over 30 pages in one hour attempting to refute the existence of the chair. One member of the class however, was up and finished in less than a minute.
Weeks later when the grades were posted, the rest of the group wondered how he could have gotten an A when he had barely written anything at all. They found his answer consisted of two words: "What chair?"



"The essential thing in life is not conquering but fighting well"

Được britneybritney sửa chữa / chuyển vào 11:27 ngày 25/03/2003

Oh CXR... your enthusiasm is highly appreciated, but I think you should post such topics in one topic only "Joke of the day".
Regards,
-----------------------------
010

it seem I saw that somewhere or something like that. maybe in Sabrina - the teenage witch if i dont confuse.
I would rather be a coward than brave because people hurt you when you are brave

Mí cái joke nì toàn là đồ chôm trên Net thôi .. ai chưa đọc thì đọc cho vui .. ai đọc rồi .. thì cười thêm lần nữa cũng hay ...
+ Political Joke
During a propaganda tour, president Bush visits a school to explain his
politics to kids. He invites the kids to ask him questions. Bobby stands up
and tells him "Mr. President, I got 3 questions:"
1. How come, that although the count of votes was not in your favor, you
still won the election?
2. Why do you want to attack Iraq without an imminent reason?
3. Don't you also consider the bombing of Hiroshima the biggest terrorist
attack of all times?
Before the president can answer, the recess bell rings, and the kids leave
the room. After they came back, Bush invited them again to ask questions.
Joey stands up and tells him "Mr. President, I got 5 questions:"
1. How come, that although the count of votes was not in your favor, you
still won the election?
2. Why do you want to attack Iraq without an imminent reason?
3. Don't you also consider the bombing of Hiroshima the biggest terrorist
attack of all times?
4. Why did the recess bell ring 20 minutes early?
5. Where's Bobby?
+ A Belated Valentines Joke
A new twist on a classic Bin Laden joke..
Little Melissa comes home from first grade and tells her father that they
learned about the history of Valentine's Day. "Since Valentine's Day is for
a Christian saint and we're Jewish," she asks, "will God get mad at me for
giving someone a valentine?"
Melissa's father thinks a bit,then says "No, I don't think God would get
mad. Who do you want to give a valentine to?"
"Osama bin Laden," she says.
"Why Osama bin Laden?" her father asks in shock.
"Well," she says, "I thought that if a little American Jewish girl could
have enough love to give Osama a valentine, he might start to think that
maybe we're not all bad, and maybe start loving people a little bit. And if
other kids saw what I did and sent valentines to Osama, he'd love everyone a
lot. And then he'd start going all over the place to tell everyone how much
he loved them and how he didn't hate anyone anymore."
Her father's heart swells and he looks at his daughter with newfound pride.
"Melissa, that's the most wonderful thing I've ever heard."
"I know," Melissa says, "and once that gets him out in the open, our Marines
could blow the crap out of him."
+ Animal Joke
It's a fine sunny day in the forest, and a rabbit is sitting outside his
burrow, tippy-tapping on his typewriter. Along comes a fox, out for a walk.
Fox : "What are you working on?"
Rabbit : "My thesis."
Fox : "Hmm. What is it about?"
Rabbit : "Oh, I'm writing about how rabbits eat foxes."
Fox : "That's ridiculous! Any fool knows that rabbits don't eat foxes!"
Rabbit : "Come with me and I'll show you!"
They both disappear into the rabbit's burrow. After a few minutes, gnawing
on a fox bone, the rabbit returns to hit his typewriter and resumes typing.
Soon a wolf comes along and stops to watch the hardworking rabbit.
Wolf : " What's that you are writing?"
Rabbit : " I'm doing a thesis on how rabbits eat wolves."
Wolf : " You don't expect to get such rubbish published, do you?"
Rabbit : " No problem. Do you want to see why?"
The rabbit and the wolf go into the burrow, and again the rabbit returns by
himself, after a few minutes, and goes back to typing.
Finally a bear comes along and asks, "What are you doing?
Rabbit : " I'm doing a thesis on how rabbits eat bears."
Bear : "Well that's absurd!
Rabbit : "Come into my home and I'll show you"
As they enter the burrow, the rabbit introduces the bear to the lion.
Moral:
IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW SILLY YOUR THESIS TOPIC IS.
WHAT MATTERS IS WHO YOU HAVE FOR A SUPERVISOR.
In the context of the working world:-
IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW BAD YOUR PERFORMANCE IS;
WHAT MATTERS IS WHETHER YOUR BOSS LIKES YOU.
-From nagen
"The essential thing in life is not conquering but fighting well"

Mấy hôm nay bận quá nên quên mất cái mục này ..
Positively Wrong
A linguistics professor was lecturing his class.
"In English," he explained, "a double negative forms a positive. In some languages, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative."
"However," the professor continued, "there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative."
A voice from the back of the room piped up. "Yeah, right."
"Gắng sức trồng hoa, hoa chẳng bén
Vô tình cắm liễu, lại nên cây"

THE GIFT OF LIFE
submitted by Amber Tozer
On the very first day, God created the cow. He said to the cow, "Today I have created you! As a cow, you must go to the field with the farmer all day long. You will work all day under the sun! I will give you a life span of 50 years."
The cow objected, "What? This kind of tough life you want me to live for 50 years? Let me have 20 years, and the 30 years I'll give back to you." So God agreed.
On the second day, God created the dog. God said to the dog, "What you are supposed to do is to sit all day by the door of your house. Any people that come in, you will have to bark at them! I'll give a life span of 20 years."
The dog objected, "What? All day long to sit by the door? No way! I give you back my other 10 years of life!" So God agreed.
On the third day, God created the monkey. He said to the monkey, "Monkeys have to entertain people. You've got to make them laugh and do monkey tricks. I'll give you 20 years life span."
The monkey objected. "What? Make them laugh? Do monkey faces and tricks? Ten years will do, and the other 10 years I'll give you back." So God agreed.
On the fourth day, God created man and said to him, "Your job is to sleep, eat, and play. You will enjoy very much in your life. All you need to do is to enjoy and do nothing. This kind of life, I'll give you a 20 year life span."
The man objected. "What? Such a good life! Eat, play, sleep, do nothing? Enjoy the best and you expect me to live only for 20 years? No way, man!....Why don't we make a deal? Since the cow gave you back 30 years, and the dog gave you back 10 years and the monkey gave you back 10 years, I will take them from you! That makes my life span 70 years, right?" So God agreed.
AND THAT'S WHY....
In our first 20 years, we eat, sleep, play, enjoy the best and do nothing much. For the next 30 years, we work all day long, suffer and get *****pport the family. For the next 10 years, we entertain our grandchildren by making monkey faces and monkey tricks. And for the last 10 years, we stay at home, sit by the front door and bark at people!
"Gắng sức trồng hoa, hoa chẳng bén
Vô tình cắm liễu, lại nên cây"

Keep continuing. I will read all. And in part we keep our box activated
I would rather be a coward than brave because people hurt you when you are brave

This week is Irish friendship week .. anyone knows?
Happy Irish Friendship week!
His name was Fleming, and he was a poor Scottish farmer. One day, while trying to make a living for his family, he heard a cry for help coming from a nearby bog. He dropped his tools and ran to the bog. There, mired to his waist in black muck, was a terrified boy, screaming and struggling to free himself. Farmer Fleming saved the lad from what could have been a slow and terrifying death.
The next day, a fancy carriage pulled up to the Scotsman's sparse surroundings. An elegantly dressed nobleman stepped out and introduced himself as the father of the boy Farmer Fleming had saved. "I want to repay you," said the nobleman. "You saved my son's life.
"No, I can't accept payment for what I did," the Scottish farmer replied, waving off the offer.
At that moment, the farmer's own son came to the door of the family hovel. "Is that your son?" the nobleman asked.
"Yes," the farmer replied proudly.
"I'll make you a deal. Let me provide him with the level of education my own son will enjoy. If the lad is anything like his father, he'll no doubt grow to be a man we both will be proud of." And that he did.
Farmer Fleming's son attended the very best schools and in time, he graduated from St. Mary's Hospital Medical School in London, and went on to become known throughout the world as the noted Sir Alexander Fleming, the discoverer of Penicillin.
Years afterward, the same nobleman's son who was saved from the bog was stricken with pneumonia. What saved his life this time? Penicillin.
The name of the nobleman? Lord Randolph Churchill.
His son's name? Sir Winston Churchill.
----
Someone once said:
What goes around comes around.
Work like you don't need the money.
Love like you've never been hurt.
Dance like nobody's watching.
Sing like nobody's listening.
Live like it's Heaven on Earth.
"Nguyện mỗi người có một niềm vui"

Spell L-O-V-E
A man came in to heaven and God wanted to go on a vacation so he asked the man to take over while he was away. God told the man to give everyone a test before letting them into heaven. God leaves and a man comes floating up and says, ''Please let me in to heaven.'' The other man says, ''I have to give you a test first.'' The man coming into heaven says, ''Oh jeez I'm not too good at tests!'' The other man says, ''Spell LOVE'' The man spells it, and he is let into heaven.
Then a woman comes floating up and says, ''Please let me into heaven,'' and the man replies, ''Only if you pass this test.'' The woman says, ''Oh no, I'm not very good at tests.''
The man says, ''Your test is to spell LOVE.''
She spells it correctly, and is let into heaven.
The next person that comes floating up is the man's wife. She says, ''OK honey, let me in to heaven.''
The man says, ''I have to give everyone a test before I let them in to heaven.'' She says, ''OK, make it an easy one!!!''
Then the man says, ''Spell Hemorrhoid.''
"Nguyện mỗi người có một niềm vui"

bác cxr có cái joke về bush với cái linguistic đọc ngộ quá. mấy cái cuối đọc không giông truyện cười.

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