Joke of the day

Bus Driver
A little kid walks into a city bus for a Halloween night and sits right behind the driver and starts yelling: ''''If my dad was a ghost and my mom a ghost, I''d be a little ghost.''''
The driver starts getting mad at the noisy kid, who continues with: ''''If my dad was an dracula and my mom a dracula, I would be a little dracula.''''
The kid goes on with a devil, witch, demonâ,¦ until the bus driver gets angry and yells at the kid: ''''What if your dad was gay and your mom was a prostitute?!''''
The kid smiles and says: ''''I would be a bus driver!''''

The Priest
A sixteen-year-old virgin girl went for confession. "Father, forgive me for I have sinned. I called a man a son-of-a-bitch yesterday."
"Why did you call him a son-of-a-bitch?" the priest asked.
"Because, Father, he touched my arm without permission."
"Do you mean like this?'' He touches her arm.
"Yes, Father."
"That''s no reason to call him a son-of-a-bitch."
"But Father, he also touched my breasts."
"You mean like this?" He touches her breasts. "That''s no reason to call him a son-of-a-bitch."
"But, Father, he took off my clothes."
"Like this?" He takes off her clothes.
"Yes, Father."
"That''s no reason to call him a son-of-a-bitch."
"But Father, he then put his you-know-what in my you-know-where."
"Like this?" He puts his you-know-what in her you-know-where.
"Yes, Father," she says sometime later.
"But that''s no reason to call him a son-of-a-bitch."
"But Father, he has AIDS".
"THAT SON-OF-A-BITCH!!!!!"

http://www.ttvnol.com/joke/122062.ttvn
Thiên Đường Vui Vẻ has tons of these stories. You guy should post them there.
Love is a promise, love is a souvenir, once given never forgotten, never let it disappear. - John Lennon

Trong English Club đã có chủ đề Jokes of the day - http://www.ttvnol.com/english/161906.ttvn - Bạn nên post các jokes của mình vào cùng một chủ đề để tránh làm loãng box. Tôi mạn phép khóa chủ đề này lại.

Secret person
A couple were deep in love each other for a long time. Oneday the girl asked her darling to come her house and they were overnight there.
Tomorrow morning, the man wake up happily & saw a photo of a handsome boy hanging on the wall.He felt unhappy & little jealous, so he asked â?o Darling, who is that boy? He is your old boyfriend?â? The girl shook her head. He continued â? Or is he your brother?â? The girl laughed & still shook. â?o No, he is not my brother.I have not any brotherâ?. Man become unpatient â?o Oh, Iâ?Tm sure he is your father when he was youngâ?.
The girl gigglinged & suddently looked little shy. At last she saidâ? Itâ?Ts me before I had an operation for changing my ***â?

How long a woman can keep secret?​

At a dinner party, several of the guests were arguing
whether men or women were more trustworthy. "No woman,"
said one man, scornfully, "can keep a secret."
"I don''t know about that," huffily answered a woman guest.
"I have kept my age a secret since I was twenty-one."
"You''ll let it out some day," the man insisted.
"I hardly think so!" responded the lady. "When a woman has
kept a secret for twenty-seven years, she can keep it forever."
Dream about the Queen Of Rain!

(eevn egnlsih isn''t my ntavie luganage I fnid it ture)
Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn''t mttaer in
waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht
frist and lsat ltteer is at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses
and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae we do not raed
ervey lteter by it slef but the wrod as a wlohe.
Waht do you gyus tinhk?



Nobody is PERFECT. I am NOBODY

you should have known the answer already
i''m not a reseacher or a scientist but i''m sure that the research it self got bad side ( criterian of the research are based on " the mass " , got my point ?)
hence, obviously , its result has its limit . that''s my point
anyway , i agree with you at this point ''cause it sucks when you try to carefully scan for every tiny letter to get the final meaning ( similar to life )
life is beautiful

chú có biết sense of humor nghĩa là gì không hở



Nobody is PERFECT. I am NOBODY

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupi***y, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods. By the way, just wanna cheer up n create a new topic for us to relax, .. Hope u all have a lot of fun ...
On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (and that''s the only time I have to work on my hair.)
On a bag of Fritos: ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how?)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it''s "just" a suggestion.)
On Tesco''s Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought????...)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn''t this save me more time?)
On Boot''s Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and... I''m taking this because???....)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I''m a bit curious.)
On Sunsbury''s peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
On a child''s superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don''t blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)