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Like A Surgeon
--------------
parody of "Like a Virgin" by Madonna
Lyrics by "Weird Al" Yankovic
I finally made it through med school
Somehow I made it through
I'm just an intern, I still make a mistake or two
I was last in my class
Barely passed at the institute
Now I'm tryin' to avoid
Yeah, I'm tryin' to avoid
A malpractice suit
Hey, like a surgeon
Cuttin' for the very first time
Like a surgeon
Organ transplants are my line
Better give me all your gauze, nurse
This patient's fading fast
Complications have set in
Don't know how long he'll last
Let me see that IV
Here we go, time to operate
I'll pull his insides out
Pull his insides out
And see what he ate
Like a surgeon, hey!
Cuttin' for the very first time
Like a surgeon
Here's a waiver for you to sign
Wo-ho. Wo-ho. Wo-ho
It's a fact, I'm a quack
The disgrace of the A.M.A.
'Cause my patients die
Yeah, my patients die
Before they can pay
Like a surgeon, hey!
Cuttin' for the very first time
Like a surgeon
Got your kidneys on my mind
Like a surgeon, ooh hoo, like a surgeon
When I reach inside
With my scalpel
And my forceps
And retractors
Oh ho Oh ho Ooh, baby
Yeah, I can hear your heart beat
For the very last time
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"Girls Just Wanna Have Lunch"
-----------------------------
Parody of "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" by Cindi Lauper
Some girls like to buy new shoes,
And others like drivin' trucks and wearing tattoos.
There's only one thing that they all like a bunch.
Oh, girls, they wanna have lunch.
Oh, girls, they just wanna have lunch.
I know how to keep a woman satisfied.
When I whip out my Diner's Card their eyes get so wide.
They're always in the mood for something to munch.
Oh, girls, they wanna have lunch.
Oh, girls just wanna have...
That's all they really want.
Some lunch.
Don't ask 'em to dinner or breakfast or brunch.
'Cause girls, they wanna have lunch.
Oh, girls just wanna have lunch.
She eats like she got a hole in her neck,
And I'm the one that always gets stuck with the check.
Can't figure out how come they don't weigh a ton.
Oh, girls, they wanna have lunch.
Oh, girls just wanna have...
That's all they really want,
Is some lunch.
Don't know for certain, but I've got a hunch.
Those girls, they wanna have lunch.
Oh, girls just wanna have lunch.
They just wanna,
They just wanna...
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"Girls Just Wanna Have Lunch"
-----------------------------
Parody of "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" by Cindi Lauper
Some girls like to buy new shoes,
And others like drivin' trucks and wearing tattoos.
There's only one thing that they all like a bunch.
Oh, girls, they wanna have lunch.
Oh, girls, they just wanna have lunch.
I know how to keep a woman satisfied.
When I whip out my Diner's Card their eyes get so wide.
They're always in the mood for something to munch.
Oh, girls, they wanna have lunch.
Oh, girls just wanna have...
That's all they really want.
Some lunch.
Don't ask 'em to dinner or breakfast or brunch.
'Cause girls, they wanna have lunch.
Oh, girls just wanna have lunch.
She eats like she got a hole in her neck,
And I'm the one that always gets stuck with the check.
Can't figure out how come they don't weigh a ton.
Oh, girls, they wanna have lunch.
Oh, girls just wanna have...
That's all they really want,
Is some lunch.
Don't know for certain, but I've got a hunch.
Those girls, they wanna have lunch.
Oh, girls just wanna have lunch.
They just wanna,
They just wanna...
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"Fat"
--------------
parody of "Bad" by Michael Jackson
Lyrics by "Weird Al" Yankovic
Your butt is wide, well mine is too.
Just watch your mouth, or I'll sit on you.
The word is out, better treat me right,
Cause I'm the king of cellulite.
Ham on ham on ham on whole wheat, all right.
My zippers bust, my buckles break.
I'm too much man for you to take.
The pavement cracks when I fall down.
I've got more chins than Chinatown.
Well I've never used a phone booth,
And I've never seen my toes.
When I'm goin' to the movies
I take up seven rows.
Because I'm fat, I'm fat--come on.
(Fat fat--really really fat)
You know I'm fat, I'm fat--you know it.
(Fat fat--really really fat)
You know I'm fat, I'm fat--come on you know.
(Fat fat--really really fat)
Don'tcha call me pudgy, portly or stout.
Just tell me once again: Who's fat?
When I walk out to get my mail,
It measures on the Richter scale.
Down at the beach I'm a lucky man.
I'm the only one who gets a tan.
If I have one more pie a la mode
I'm gonna need my own zip code.
When you're only having seconds,
I'm having twenty-thirds.
When I go to get my shoes shined,
I gotta take their word.
Because I'm fat, I'm fat--come on.
(Fat fat--really really fat)
You know I'm fat, I'm fat--you know it.
(Fat fat--really really fat)
You know I'm fat, I'm fat--you know it you know.
(Fat fat--really really fat)
And my shadow weighs forty-two pounds.
Lemme tell you once again who's fat.
If you see me comin' your way,
Better give me plenty space.
If I tell you that I'm hungry,
Then won't you feed my face.
Because I'm fat, I'm fat--come on.
(Fat fat--really really fat)
You know I'm fat, I'm fat--you know it.
(Fat fat--really really fat)
You know I'm fat, I'm fat--you know it you know.
(Fat fat--really really fat)
Woo woo woo. When I sit around the house,
I really sit around the house.
You know I'm fat, I'm fat--come on.
(Fat fat--really really fat)
You know I'm fat, I'm fat--you know it, you know it.
(Fat fat--really really fat)
You know you know you know--come on.
(Fat fat--really really fat)
And you know all by myself I'm a crowd.
Lemme tell you once again.
You know I'm huge, I'm fat, you know it.
(Fat fat--really really fat)
You know I'm fat--you know, hoo.
(Fat fat--really really fat)
You know I'm fat, I'm fat--you know it, you know.
(Fat fat--really really fat)
And the whole world knows I'm fat and I'm proud.
Just tell me once again--who's fat?
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"Fat"
--------------
parody of "Bad" by Michael Jackson
Lyrics by "Weird Al" Yankovic
Your butt is wide, well mine is too.
Just watch your mouth, or I'll sit on you.
The word is out, better treat me right,
Cause I'm the king of cellulite.
Ham on ham on ham on whole wheat, all right.
My zippers bust, my buckles break.
I'm too much man for you to take.
The pavement cracks when I fall down.
I've got more chins than Chinatown.
Well I've never used a phone booth,
And I've never seen my toes.
When I'm goin' to the movies
I take up seven rows.
Because I'm fat, I'm fat--come on.
(Fat fat--really really fat)
You know I'm fat, I'm fat--you know it.
(Fat fat--really really fat)
You know I'm fat, I'm fat--come on you know.
(Fat fat--really really fat)
Don'tcha call me pudgy, portly or stout.
Just tell me once again: Who's fat?
When I walk out to get my mail,
It measures on the Richter scale.
Down at the beach I'm a lucky man.
I'm the only one who gets a tan.
If I have one more pie a la mode
I'm gonna need my own zip code.
When you're only having seconds,
I'm having twenty-thirds.
When I go to get my shoes shined,
I gotta take their word.
Because I'm fat, I'm fat--come on.
(Fat fat--really really fat)
You know I'm fat, I'm fat--you know it.
(Fat fat--really really fat)
You know I'm fat, I'm fat--you know it you know.
(Fat fat--really really fat)
And my shadow weighs forty-two pounds.
Lemme tell you once again who's fat.
If you see me comin' your way,
Better give me plenty space.
If I tell you that I'm hungry,
Then won't you feed my face.
Because I'm fat, I'm fat--come on.
(Fat fat--really really fat)
You know I'm fat, I'm fat--you know it.
(Fat fat--really really fat)
You know I'm fat, I'm fat--you know it you know.
(Fat fat--really really fat)
Woo woo woo. When I sit around the house,
I really sit around the house.
You know I'm fat, I'm fat--come on.
(Fat fat--really really fat)
You know I'm fat, I'm fat--you know it, you know it.
(Fat fat--really really fat)
You know you know you know--come on.
(Fat fat--really really fat)
And you know all by myself I'm a crowd.
Lemme tell you once again.
You know I'm huge, I'm fat, you know it.
(Fat fat--really really fat)
You know I'm fat--you know, hoo.
(Fat fat--really really fat)
You know I'm fat, I'm fat--you know it, you know.
(Fat fat--really really fat)
And the whole world knows I'm fat and I'm proud.
Just tell me once again--who's fat?
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Lasagna
-------
(parody of "La Bamba")
"Weird" Al Y.
La-la-la-la-lasagna.
You want-a some-a lasagna, magnifico,
Or a-maybe spaghetti!
Ay, you supper's a-ready now, where you go?
Mama mia bambino!
Mama mia bambino, 'samatta you?
'Samatta you, 'samatta you?
You should-a taste my lasagna.
Ay, you no like-a lasagna,
That's okay too.
How about-a calzone?
Some-a nice minestrone, atsa good for you.
Have-a some marinara.
Have-a some marinara, I know-a you like.
I know-a you like, I know-a you like.
La-lasagna!
La-lasagna!
La-lasagna!
Would you like some-a zucchini?
Or-a my homemade linguini, it's hard-a to beat.
Have-a more fettucini.
Ay, you getting too skeeny, you gotta to eat.
Ay, mange, mange!
Ay, you-a pass the lasagna!
A-don't you get any on ya, you sloppy peeg.
Have-a more ravioli.
You-a get roly poly, a-nice and-a beeg.
Like you cousin Luigi.
Luigi, Luigi, capisce paisan?
Capisce paisan, capisce paisan?
La-lasagna!
La-lasagna!
La-lasagna!
La-lasagna!
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Lasagna
-------
(parody of "La Bamba")
"Weird" Al Y.
La-la-la-la-lasagna.
You want-a some-a lasagna, magnifico,
Or a-maybe spaghetti!
Ay, you supper's a-ready now, where you go?
Mama mia bambino!
Mama mia bambino, 'samatta you?
'Samatta you, 'samatta you?
You should-a taste my lasagna.
Ay, you no like-a lasagna,
That's okay too.
How about-a calzone?
Some-a nice minestrone, atsa good for you.
Have-a some marinara.
Have-a some marinara, I know-a you like.
I know-a you like, I know-a you like.
La-lasagna!
La-lasagna!
La-lasagna!
Would you like some-a zucchini?
Or-a my homemade linguini, it's hard-a to beat.
Have-a more fettucini.
Ay, you getting too skeeny, you gotta to eat.
Ay, mange, mange!
Ay, you-a pass the lasagna!
A-don't you get any on ya, you sloppy peeg.
Have-a more ravioli.
You-a get roly poly, a-nice and-a beeg.
Like you cousin Luigi.
Luigi, Luigi, capisce paisan?
Capisce paisan, capisce paisan?
La-lasagna!
La-lasagna!
La-lasagna!
La-lasagna!
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Eat It
------
by "Weird Al" Yankovic
parody of "Beat It" by Michael Jackson
How come you're always such a fussy young man
Don't want no Cap'n Crunch, don't want no Raisin Bran
Well don't you know that other kids are starvin' in Japan
So eat it, just eat it
Don't want to argue, I don't want to debate
Don't want to hear about what kinds of foods you hate
You won't get no dessert 'till you clean off you're plate
So eat it
Don't you tell me you're full
Just eat it... eat it
Get yourself an egg and beat it
Have some more chicken
Have some more pie
It doesn't matter
If it's boiled or fried
Just eat it, just eat it
Just eat it, just eat it... Woo!
Your table manners are a crying shame
You're playing with your food, this ain't some kind of game
Now, if you starve to death
You'll just have yourself to blame
So eat it. Just eat it.
You better listen, better do as you're told
You haven't even touched your tuna casserole
You better chow down, or it's gonna get cold
So eat it.
I don't care if you're full
Just eat it... eat it
Open up your mouth and feed it
Have some more yogurt
Have some more Spam
It doesn't matter if it's fresh or canned
Just eat it! Eat it! Eat it! Eat it!
Don't you make me repeat it!
Have a banana, have a whole bunch
It doesn't matter what you had for lunch
Just eat it! Eat it!
Eat it! Eat it!
Eat it! Eat it!
If it's too cold, reheat it
Have a big dinner. Have a light snack
If you don't like it, you can't send it back
Just eat it! Eat it!
Get yourself an egg and beat it!
Have some more chicken. Have some more pie
It doesn't matter if it's boiled or fried
Just eat it! Eat it!
Don't you make me repeat it!
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Eat It
------
by "Weird Al" Yankovic
parody of "Beat It" by Michael Jackson
How come you're always such a fussy young man
Don't want no Cap'n Crunch, don't want no Raisin Bran
Well don't you know that other kids are starvin' in Japan
So eat it, just eat it
Don't want to argue, I don't want to debate
Don't want to hear about what kinds of foods you hate
You won't get no dessert 'till you clean off you're plate
So eat it
Don't you tell me you're full
Just eat it... eat it
Get yourself an egg and beat it
Have some more chicken
Have some more pie
It doesn't matter
If it's boiled or fried
Just eat it, just eat it
Just eat it, just eat it... Woo!
Your table manners are a crying shame
You're playing with your food, this ain't some kind of game
Now, if you starve to death
You'll just have yourself to blame
So eat it. Just eat it.
You better listen, better do as you're told
You haven't even touched your tuna casserole
You better chow down, or it's gonna get cold
So eat it.
I don't care if you're full
Just eat it... eat it
Open up your mouth and feed it
Have some more yogurt
Have some more Spam
It doesn't matter if it's fresh or canned
Just eat it! Eat it! Eat it! Eat it!
Don't you make me repeat it!
Have a banana, have a whole bunch
It doesn't matter what you had for lunch
Just eat it! Eat it!
Eat it! Eat it!
Eat it! Eat it!
If it's too cold, reheat it
Have a big dinner. Have a light snack
If you don't like it, you can't send it back
Just eat it! Eat it!
Get yourself an egg and beat it!
Have some more chicken. Have some more pie
It doesn't matter if it's boiled or fried
Just eat it! Eat it!
Don't you make me repeat it!
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SPAM
-----------------------------
(lyrics by "Weird Al" Yankovic,
Parody of "Stand" by R.E.M.)
Spam in the place where I live. (ham and pork)
Think about nutrition, wonder what's inside it now. (oh boy)
Spam in my lunchbox at work. (it's the best)
Really makes a darn good sandwich, any way you slice it at all.
If you're running low, go to the store.
Carry some money to help you buy more.
The tab is there to open the can.
The can is there to hold in the spam.
Oh, Spam on the table at home. (ham and pork)
Think about selection, are there different flavors now? (let's eat)
Spam in my office at work. (it's the best)
Think about the stuff it's made from, wonder if it's mystery meat.
If you need a spoon, keep one around.
Carry a thermos to help wash it down.
Now if there's some left, don't just throw it out.
Use it for spackle or bathroom grout, now.
Spam in my pantry at home. (have some more)
Think of expiration, better read the label now. (oh boy)
Spam breakfast, dinner or lunch. (it's the best)
Think about how it's been pre-cooked, wonder if I'll just eat it cold.
Now once you start in, you can't put it down.
Don't leave it sitting or it'll turn brown.
The key is going to open the tin.
The tin is there to keep the spam in.
Oh Spam, Spam. (ham and pork)
Think about nutrition, wonder what's inside it now. (oh boy)
Spam, Spam. (it's the best)
Really makes a darn good sandwich any way you slice it.
Spam in the place where I live. (have some more)
Think about addiction, wonder if I'm a junkie now. (let's eat)
Spam in the place where I work. (you're obsessed)
Think about the way it's processed, wonder if it's some kind of meat.
Spam in the back of my car. (ham and pork)
The tab is there to open the can. (spam any place that you are)
The can is there to hold in the spam. (spam any place that you are)
Oh Spam!
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