SEC diary.

I hate you. I really really hate you. You have made it impossible for me to listen to Are You Gonna Be My Girl. To think about Sydney just as Sydney. To continue living as if there had never been three months during which we had been together as close as any couple could have.
Someone told me that it has been 5 months, you have moved on with your life, and I should not try to retrieve what could never be retrieved. That''s good, because I never planned to ask for you to come back, anyway. We are not really suitable for each other, and I really don''t love you anymore. However, it''s just really strange that your image has become a ghost that keeps haunting me. Between study and work, seeing friends and family, I keep having memories of us flashing back in my mind, vividly as if they were reliving in front of my eyes. And I keep asking myself a question whose answer has never been found "If I don''t love you anymore, why the obsession?"
To cut through the denials and lies, it''s probably because of the hurtful truth that you could really bounce back, stand on your feet after our breakup, move on, and more importantly, act as if I had never been in your brilliant life. And right now, I''m just a nobody in your life, to quote exactly what you said. You either ignore my calls, or hang up if ever you pick up the phone at the first place. There''s no more SMS''s or emails asking me to come back, or just to be friends. It makes me wonder if I was just an attention-seeking girl who desperately needs her ex-boyfriend to care about her. Or if you were just simply a loser who harshly cut off all communication with someone you once were so close. This is what lots of arguments between us were about. I strongly believe you can''t just be intimate with someone one day and turn your back to him or her the next, whereas you don''t connect the past and the present, especially when the old days were hurtful. Wasn''t there some good time between us? Didn''t someone say that whatever happened in the future, we would always be special to each other?
I''m confused.

bored,as other days.

bored,as other days.

It''s been a long time.... Let me clean the dust on our diary
I''ve forgotten my habit of writing diary. Then somebody made me wanna write again. Or, I myself wanted to write again. Kinda miss it, you know.
I''m far away from home right now. Life has changed a lot, I haven''t changed a lot, and that seems to be the trouble. High adaptivity is required in a diverse environment. Have you ever noticed the real importance of the so-called diversity?
When somebody asked me, ''How are you?'' and went away before I could even automatically, grammatically, habitually answer, ''Fine, thanks. And you?'', I was shocked.
How come people asking me without even listening to my reply?
Then I figured it out.... just really simple. That''s a way to say hi and pass by.
Is our existence in someone else''s life just that superficial?
Last time, my roommate had a problem with friends. She said to a girl that all her best friends were back home, she couldn''t stand being here anymore, she wanna come home.
I looked at her from behind her back in our small room in this dorm.
If I''d felt that way and wanted to go home...
Well,
It takes her hours (not that long) to drive home.
It takes me hours (not that short) to fly home.
I miss my family, my city, my friends.
But...
Well, I''m not telling you to feel sad and lonely being far away from home. We shouldn''t - and we know that.
I just wanna say that, if you were in such a case (I hate the phrase "in my shoes", so I don''t wanna use it now), try to leave that room immediately while your roommate was talking and yelling and crying and doing any crazy thing there.
Like I did, at almost 1 AM.
I walked around the green space of grass just real near my dorm. (Make sure that your campus is real safe. Mine is.) It was wicked cold, but I felt better being outside. On my own.
And if you were too emotional at that moment, release your tears.
Be careful with the weather. On my wet hand there were tears and blood from my damn cold nose.
When I came back, she''d already been away somewhere, probably in somebody''s room, and didn''t be back for the whole night. That''s another thing to know - everybody should have someplace where they feel comfortable and calm being there. A friend''s place, for example.
 
My buddies, try to overcome the difficulties and don''t feel down (that soon). Life could be worse
I just think this way: life should not be that complicated when human has already been so.
And I became an AQ, telling myself to go on. After such a hard night.
 
Not really hard though...
 
 

Hi Satori Lila,
I know this is your tough period, but I do believe you will be tougher . It usually takes you about 6 month to basically adapt to a new environment.
Do not be sad any more !!! Just enjoy your life now by going to Harvard to take some photos, or look for the beauty of leaf-colour change in fall. Remember to send me those photos as promise, ok?
Keep in mind that you are not alone as at least you have a sis here, at our SEC
Take care,

Thanks a lot sis... I know you''re always there for SEC, and for me
Sure I''ll send you wonderful pix of Harvard when I have chance. I think I''m gonna send you autumn pix first.... Autumn in New England is just so amazing, you know...

Everybody must have been involved in teamwork once or twice or even daily. It will be great if you can share your experience of teamwork here.
For me, these are things I always remind myself of:
1) Be honest. --> I hate cheating and misunderstanding. Whenever there is a problem, just speak up, solve it together, DONE. Keeping silent may shelter you from one trouble, but it can bring you to many other troubles (which sometimes are MORE serious).
2) Be responsible. --> I should know what my part of job is in my team and get it done well. I am responsible for what I do. And yes, what I say. If you think I badmouth you, just ask me straight. If I did, I would repeat what I said and explain to you why I said so. If I didn''t, be careful with your source of information next time. (this is a good lesson I learnt from a nice friend...)
3) Be smart.--> I know I am not as smart as you expected, but we are cool with each other if we are doing our own parts of job well. If there is any problem, we can fix it together. If you want to be friends, I''m glad. If you do not want to be friends, that''s OK with me, as long as we work effectively together in our team.
---> To Dirosemimi: thanks for trusting me. I''m glad to give you a hand (well actually both hands ''cuz I type with both, not with one finger ) There will be some difficulties (distance, time, etc.) - we can deal with them together.
----> To Coolbiz: thanks for understanding me now. If there is anything bugging you (about me), just tell me, and we kill that bug    I hope this time we have time and chance to know more about each other as good teammates (not like before when time and chance were rare like money in my pocket)
----> To Nonick: how have you been? We haven''t met since the meeting last year and I''m afraid I don''t remember how you look like. In my (bad) memory, you wore glasses (with black frame) and a white T-shirt. Well, just let me know later!
 
 

To Nonick: how have you been? We haven''''t met since the meeting last year and I''''m afraid I don''''t remember how you look like. In my (bad) memory, you wore glasses (with black frame) and a white T-shirt. Well, just let me know later! :
=> well, just think of the most stylish man (particularly Korean style with black-frame glasses and white short) in SEC, that is Mr. N....O.....N.......I........C.......K........

I have a tutor who always encourages me to write better, but sometimes I find it so difficult to write what I think. I try my best because I know that not only me worry about my English, that another one ready help me when I need. Thank her a lot.

Today I feel so good... I just translated an online poem (source unknown) into English and posted on my Writing class''s discussion board. I hope my professor and friends like it.
I think all of you know this poem already. I''ll post both my translation and the original poem here. I am a Netizen... and well, I luv this virtual life, besides my real life.
My translation:

WHAT IS NET?
Net is where the loneliness
Hides somewhere behind the keyboard
Net is where we once try to test
Fakes and truths in peoplê?T hearts.
On either sides of the modem, you and I
With two funny, weird names
Sometimes joking, sometimes serious
Who knows when? how to deal with each other?
Net is where we try to seek
Some sharing in this big world
Think that after a strange name
Is a sympathetic soul.
Net is in between yes and no
Sometimes the border is too thin to separate them
Net is where we can be foolish
Engrossed in making an adventurê?
Net is where we just don?Tt know why
We miss it a lot when wê?Tre far away
Desire for a ?oHi? so tender and warm
For an email, even a few lines.
Net is where soul wants to ask soul
Want to speak up things we just can?Tt speak up
Net is inside this hasty life
Where we find some tranquility.
Net is a movie and net is a life
So much joy, so many tears in it
Hate and love ?" half in jest and half in earnest
Be sulky to each other?
Net is where the all-nighters
Don?Tt care about time, don?Tt mind about sleep
Being with the computer, nights are not enough
Days raise like the modem?Ts eyes.
What is Net? Is You and I
Looking for each other, found and lost
Is an adventure to find something real
Happiness is just a needle in a haystack.
What is Net? Is a hide-and-seek
Behind the accounts bright and dim
Sometimes vague and sometimes miraculous
Try to click until we find out?
Like a tale of once upon a time
Under a thatched hut are two golden hearts
Today?Ts tales are not like that
Two golden hearts connected by modems.
Net is where the loneliness
Hides somewhere behind the keyboard
Net is where we once try to test
Fakes and truths in peoplê?T hearts.
Original version:
MẠNG L? GO?
Mạng là nỈi mà chính n-i cô 'Ỉn
Khuất 'âu 'ó Y phía sau bàn phím
Mạng là nỈi thử mTt lần chiêm nghi?m
Những thực hỈ ẩn hi?n giữa tim ngỈời.
Hai bên modem em và tôi
Cùng hai cái tên rất là ngT nghĩnh
Tâm sự khi 'ùa khi là nghiêm ch?nh
Chẳng biết 'âu mà ''i phó lẫn nhau.
Mạng là nỈi mà chẳng biết tìm 'âu
MTt chút xẻ chia giữa 'ời rTng l>n
Cứ nghĩ rằng sau mTt cái tên là lạ
Là mTt tâm h"n '"ng 'i?u, cảm thông.
Mạng là nỈi giữa có và không
Nhiều lúc mỏng manh tỈYng chừng là mTt
Mạng là nỈi mà có khi dại dTt
Ta mải mê làm mTt cuTc phiêu lỈu.
Mạng là nỈi mà chẳng hifu vì 'âu
M-i khi xa thấy lòng nh> lắm
Thèm mTt tiếng "Hi" dc mắt
Cũng ghét-yêu nửa 'ùa nửa thật
Cũng giận hờn thế nọ thế kia.
Mạng là nỈi những kẻ thức khuya
Bấp chấp thời gian, bất cần giấc ngủ
Bên máy tính 'êm sẽ là không 'ủ
Ngày cất vào nhỈ 'ôi mắt modem.
Mạng là gì ? Là Tôi và Em
Cứ mải mê tìm nhau 'Ỉợc r"i lại mất
Là cuTc phiêu lỈu thử tìm gì thật
Hạnh phúc vẫn là 'áy bf tìm kim.
Mạng là gì ? MTt cuTc tr'n tìm
Sau những account im lìm ẩn hi?n
Có khi vu vỈ, có khi màu nhi?m
Cứ thử click vào 'ến lúc tìm ra.
C. tích của những ngày xa
MTt túp lều tranh, tim vàng 'ôi lứa
C. tích ngày nay không còn thế nữa
Hai trái tim vàng kết n'i bYi modem.