SHOULD WE HAVE ***UAL RELATIONSHIP BEFORE MARRIAGE?

Ok, this is my answer.
To Johntrung : If other people think both ***ual and non***ual relationship are the foundation of trust be men and women ? In some cases, itõ?Ts not wrong. Some people think that if we have ***ual relationship with each other, we will understand more deeply about our lover. Yeah, thatõ?Ts true. However, we are Vietnamese, we should follow to our tra***ionals. Girls must keep virginity before marriage (even in man). So, thatõ?Ts the way to be true love without *** before marriage.
I understand about your situation Johntrung, may be youõ?Tre not living in VN now. In other country, having ***ual relationship is not considering seriously like in VN. Itõ?Ts just a game or have fun after work or study too much. Even it doesnõ?Tt influent to them much in their study or their work. However, one time again, if we do like that, of course we lose our good tra***ional (especially for girls ).
Young people means the one who still study base on their family finance, they havenõ?Tt enough immature to make money by themselves. So, if we still be like that, we are not mature yetõ?Ư
To IamwhoamI : Long-lasting relationships should not be based on virginity alone. It's not really the foundation of trust. What if a woman loses her virginity by accident?
What do you mean by losing virginity by accident? Is it a kind of some baby girls fall down from the tree or an innocence girl be raped by the lustful man.
relationship before marriage dramatically increases divorce rate. Yes, youõ?Tre right ! If a couple can not understand deeply with each other, having ***ual relationship will make the boring follow to the time. They just want to have good feeling, do not care about the emotion of each other. Finally, they will easy say goodbye with their lover.
To pikou : ***ual relationship is only for improving love. Are you sure ? Let me ask you a question. If a couple have not enough true love, but they still want to have *** with each other. Letõ?Ts imagine what will happened after 1 month or even in 1 week. They will try to find another one better or somethingõ?Ư
How can it not affect to marriage ? Sorry to say this, if you marriage with a girl some day, will you accept that girl has a lot of boyfriends before or she used to go to bed many times with other guys ? Yes, of course you can not accept that, right ? Ok, this is not from experience or something, just follow to our good tra***ional from our ancestor.
To Dirosemimi : you had a good ideas and excellent discuss about this topic. Do you have any question for me or relevant to this topic ?
To dattenkhoqua : yes, we are practising English. However, we try to get opinion from the other and discuss more. Thatõ?Ts the reason why we join into SECõ?Ư

To Fini and Dirosemini,
I would be more interested if you guys can answer these questions of mine (even though Fini hasn't answered my previous questions fully):
Is there any guarantee that marriages without pre-marriage ***
are long-lasting? If no, then why this boycott on "no hanky-panky" affairs before wedding? (please leave the "tra***ional excuse" out of the debate as i will mention about it soon). Should trust be the priority in any relationship? If yes, then should the society blame a well-to-be wife if she's lost her virginity before marriage? Can you tell someone who is virgin or not a trustworthy person or not ? If not, then why use virginity as a underpinning for committed relationship?
Do any of the so-called" tra***ion" need to be preserved so that the whole world can recognize a country on the map? If yes, then our habit of littering on streets should be categorized as a tra***ion. Is it possible that the world recognize VN as a "virgin" society ? Could you stop everyone from having ***ual relationship beofe marriage? If no, why won't we adjust this traddion ?
Don't get me wrong. Of course I'm in favour of having a non-***ual relationship with a girl. Yet, this is a debate and I'd like to see more of your convincing defending ideas.
------------------------
To Fini,
Keep in mind that lots of people in other country do value serious relationship . Don't be confused by all the movies and books you have been exposed to!!!

It's not wealth one asks for, but just enough to preserve one's dignity, to work unhampered,to be generous, to be independent

Well, I think it ups to them who wanna have *** before marriage. The thing is "Are they going to take responsibility after their ***ual relationship?" or "How are they dealing with it?".
I don't think it's appropriate to ask such questions like "Should vietnamese students" or "Can vietnamese students". If people ask themselves these questions then it's better for them not to have *** . Why? Because they still have doubt.
I'm HuMbLe BuT WaTcH OuT

To Fini: Yes , indeed. If you were me then you'll do it too. Is it right huh ? But I think the true love is not include that things much. It's not the most problem. It cause us will be disorder. hmmmm

Nothing's Impossible

To everyone:
This topic is related to the concern of Zerocool_destiny , the author of the topic " *** in campus - should or shouldn't " . However, this topic is discussed in a more serious and interesting way than the new one. So , let's make it alive.

Dimi

Kẻ thù lớn nhất của mình là chính mình

Oh yeah here is what i am seeking for (^_^) thanks be' DI
mess with the best
die with the rest
http://www.picturetrail.com/gallery/view?uid=1055238

Wow, this topic is really hot ...
Let me throw in my 2 cents : Before anyone can say they are for "*** before marriage" or "cohabiting before marriage" , one has to accept those facts :
- For gentlemen :
Virginity is out of the question . Don't expect your girlfriend to save it until she met you.
Before you, your girlfriend may have slept/cohabited with a half-dozen boyfriends of her and you still can love and respect her .
Once in a while in your company , your girlfriend might run into an ex-boyfriend, if she introduced you to this ex, you still can happily (or fake it) smile nicely, shake hand and chit-chat with that ex-boyfriend, knowing full well that your lovely girlfriend used to share the same bed with that "bastard" . In other words, you can not be jealous of her past . So be ready, be open-minded to accept her baggage .
- For ladies :
You will have a tough time convincing your boyfriend to marry you. Who want to buy the cow , if he can get the milk for free. This is a tough dilemma for you ladies. Single men in the US will try everything to avoid commitment . There are a lot of cases where, the day before the wedding, the groom get cold feet and withdraw that commitment , hence you heard about the expression "to leave the bride at the altar" . By staying single, men can sample as much as they can . So you should ask yourself : should I save myself for the marriage and use that to entice him to marry me or should I enjoy now since I love him too much and .... risk being label as easy girl or slut ? . Believe me, ladies, when there is no more mystery to discover, men can easily lose interest, unless he love you very, very much . Think hard, since I know what men think ... (talking about speaking from experience ). And, also, how much experience in bed do you have ? If the men only look for that carnal pleasure, they will move to or choose the one that send them to seven heaven . So, keep him drooling don't give up your precious mystery. That way you'll have more chance to get him to the altar , unless you also want to play around and are not interested in settling down once you find your ideal man.
Here is the US, depending on the State you live in, if an unmarried couple move in (live in) together for more than six months, they are, under the law, common-law (partner) wife or husband , i.e. they are married without declaring it (no formal wedding or not applying for a marriage certificate) . So, if you ladies can hook your man with you under the same roof for more that a certain days/months, you GOT him .
Another "inconvenience" that will make (rich) men/women think twice before agreeing to be dragged, kicking and screaming to the altar, is the common marriage asset . In most States , whatever you bring in (asset) to a marriage will be split in half in the marriage broke up . To prevent that , one needs a prenuptial agreement . In that agreement , con***ions are set on how asset will be divided . That is equivalent to : I love you very much. I will die for you , but .... when it comes to money, forget it, you can't touch my money, ....(translation : I love money more than you ) . . Quite a few couples never get to the altar because of that . THIS should be another new "hot" topic to debate for our forum . Are you willing to "have and to hold, in sickness and in health, and... also split my hard-earned money" with your future wife/husband ? Does she love you, for you, or for your money ? That statement goes for both genders . How do you approach your future wife or husband and said "I love you very much , but honey, you have to sign on this dotted line to promise not to touch my money, if we break up" . Is this about love or is this about money ?
Where were those days, young couple met, hit by the thunder of love , rush to the altar, and live happily ever ... Sight !!!!

hey everyone ! welcome back to my hot topic
wow, we tried to give a lot of our opinion about this topic, it's hard to say something more. However, I tried to make you guys not confusing about those troubles anymore.
Well, I did interview a few people. There is a pitiful girl said : " When a couple fall in love, the guy always try to do many ways to have ***ual with his girlfriend, if we, innocent girls, not alllowed for them to have ***, they will be pretended to say that : you don't love me anymore, if you do, let's show how much you love me through ***... I know that almost guy used to do that in order to seize possesion of his girlfriend. However, it's is a pity for girls. If they "give" , guys will say that " she is so easy, and he will not respect his girlfriend anymore." In the other hands, if they "refuse", guys will ask her to prove her love. "
and I also interviewed one gegoistic guy : " I always try to make love with my girlfriend, but when I get marriaged, I have to choose the innocent one"
how do you guys estimate about this guy ? But, wait a minute, is it (for boy) that you usually think when being with your partner ?
Johntrung said : Can you tell someone who is virgin or not a trustworthy person or not ? well, of course not, right, just especially for someone. However, acoording to Vietnamese tra***ional, the girl must be be "three follow's four virtues (tam tòng tứ đức). Nowadays, that's not almost true anymore. However, the society changed, it doesn't mean that human would change. We should follow to our good tra***ional to reserve our culture.
TDHung ask a very interesting question : should I save myself for the marriage and use that to entice him to marry me or should I enjoy now since I love him too much and .... risk being label as easy girl or slut ?
ask yourself, girl, do you have to save yourself because of someone. The answer is not. Don't just think about yourself, think about our culture, our tra***ional. Because our tra***ional is good, moreover we are asian, should prove for other countries that "have ***ual before marriage is the thing we should not do"

IMHO, this is a subject that can not be generalized. There are guys who get bored after having *** with their girl frends and start to look for the new ones. However, there are also guys who stay committed to the last minute.
If two people really love each other, but for some reasons, they cannot get married (not enough money, maybe one of them does not want to get married, etc... ). Then, there is no reason for them to wait until after marriage to have ***.

Biologically speaking, ***ual intercourse is a normal desire of human, and too much or too little of it could lead to unhealthy consequences. On another message board, they gave the girl two choice:
- start having ***
- send the guy to some hookers with safe ***
The first choice is kinda dangerous, the second choice is clearly stupid.
In the end, all the discussions come back to one thing: THINK before you do it.
Oh, and this is a quote that I took from "The Godfather" of Mario Puzo. This is a very interesting paragraph, which I think somewhat related to this topic.
" That night and the weeks that followed, Michael Corleone came to understand the perimum put on virginity by socially primitive people. It was a period of sensuality that he had never before experienced, a sensuality mixed with a feeling of masculine power. Apollonia in those first days became almost his slave. Given trust, given affection, a young full-blooded girl aroused from virginity to erotic awareness was as delicious as an exactly ripe fruit."