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CHEATING (Phản Bội)

In response to bro Kany''s suggestion, from now on I''ll try to post more "shocking" topics to get people''s attention and their involvement. So please don''t hate me for this.

Anyway, while driving to school today, I heard an interesting conversation on the radio. The court rules in favor for a woman who was accused of cheating by her husband. The judges claim that because the person the wife is having an affair with is also a woman, therefore it is not cheating. According to the law book, it is not cheating if there is no intercourse between male and female organs. (I''m sorry if I offend anyone, I just try to repeat what they said on the radio)

So I have a question for the guys. If your girlfriend or your wife is having an intimate relationship with another woman, do you consider that cheating?

For the ladies, to what extent do you think is cheating? What''s the barrier separating cheating and "having some fun"? I know some men who love their wives and take good care of the families. Still, they go to strip club (watching naked girls dancing) or have massage (having the girls touching them but no ***) with their buddies. Do you ladies consider these acts indicate the men are unfaithful to their wives?

I''m just trying to bring up some noises in this forum. So please give me whatever feedbacks you may have. Hate me, love me, want to shut my big mouth and kick my butt? That''s fine. Just tell me. Think my writing is a piece of crap? That''s fine, help me fix it. Write it down, don''t be afraid to make mistakes. Remember: THE BIGGEST MISTAKE IS BEING AFRAID TO MAKE MISTAKE

Thank King to raise an intresting topic.
You know, in the Bible Jesus says that:" When you look at a woman, and your mind think about having a special relationship with her, it means that you are cheating". So I think when a husband did as King said"......." I think he is absolutely cheating. He does not respect his wife anymore. He lowered his hornor. I will feel ashamed of him and so poor for his wife.
And about the report from the radio, I think that the judges had the wrong decision( just in my thinking). Because to me she was cheating even when with the same ***. And the judge I think when he made any sentences he depends much on the law. And about that problem, it doesn''t mention in the law, so the lawyers based on that situation and argued to win for the woman.
that is what I think. Maybe you have your own ideas. I hope you can share!
Thank you!

Meaningless, I agree to your point about "think about having a special relationship with her, it means that you are cheating." How about the men sleeping with the prostitutes? They don''t have any feeling for the prostitute. They just want to have some pleasure. In this case do you think that is cheating also?
For these 2 situations, which one you''d rather have?
1) Your lover has feeling for another person (For example, he still loves his ex-girlfriend). But you know that they can''t come together because she is dead or she is married.
2) Your lover sleeps with a prostitute whom he absolutely has no feeling for.
To make it simple, which one would you rather have, the feeling or the body of your lover, if you can only have one.

I am just wondering whether you has ever slept with a prostitute before? (if not how do u know they dun have any feeling?))

Nope. NEVER. I don''t want to get AIDS. That''s the most shameful way to die. It''s just my feeling that men sleep with prostitutes just for pleasure. Having a feeling for someone requires much more than just ***.

Sounds like a hot topic!
I have no comments on the cheating case on the radio; law enforcement must be based on law.
Let''s just make one situation with two possible arguments
1) It does not matter whom your gf/bf/wife/husband had *** with, as long as he/she has feeling for that person. She/he is cheating. That''s shameful!
2) If not (just for physical fun) he/she can be forgiven but not too many times. How many is "too many"? It all depends on your mercy.
One thing to add, the line between *** with feeling (love) and one without feeling (fun) can NEVER be clear, to some people, probably in the favor of the men, *** can be a starting point for love.
@king67: Good job Bro!

I normally think that when man sleeps with a prostitute, he is cheating. The first thing I want to mention is about the Bible said. You know, people often think that when you have relationship it means you are cheating, but more than that as Bible siad, just thinking is also cheating! and you can see clearly my answer about that man? one again, I say that he is cheating even when you argue that he feels nothing. He did that just for his pleasure.
For the two situations, I will try all my best to avoid having in that case. Because I think in the first situation cannot happen to me. How can I love a man when he is always thinking of his ex-girlfriend. And It is hard for him,too. He cannot love another if he keep the feeling of his ex-friend.
And the second, I cannot stand if my lover does that. Still now, I hardly imagine that can happen to me. So I am sorry that I cannot give you the answer.
Is it okay? King?

Sorry for taking so long to respond.
@ Bro Vi_Cam. Yet another articulate comment from you. I begin to admire you more and more. However, there''s one point I don''t quite understand. You said that *** is the starting point for love. In my opinion, that only applies to Western style relationship. For Eastern tra***ion relationship, *** occurs only after the couples already have some commitment and feeling for each other. It''s hard for me to imagine having *** with someone I don''t love or at least some feeling I have for her.
@ Meaningless. I understand that is not an easy decision to make. For myself, and for most of the men, physical possession is more important than emotional possession. Having your girlfriend or your wife sleeping with another man, that is the most despicable shame and eternal misery possible. I can forgive my wife for loving someone else but I would never forgive her for sleeping with another man intentionally.

Firstly, I?Tm sorry for reading this topic so late, King. We have a lot of opinions here, the ?oshocking? topic seems working, rite?
I don?Tt want to discuss about the problem of the woman on radio. King?Ts question is more interesting.
In order to make this topic hotter, I present to you a new problem, that is ?oCheatting in mind? (ngoại tình trong tư tưởng).
They said that ?ocheatting in mind? is more dangerous than ?oreal cheating?.
In a lot of cases, the man/woman who has a ?oreal cheating? still want to keep their family. They still take care their wife/husband and children. I mean, they still play a good role in their family. With them, cheating is just a ***ual need.
With ?ocheatting in mind?, the man/woman realizes that there is another person better than their wife/husband. It is dangerous because they will be boring with their wife/husband. They will ignore everything in their family. As you know, if we are boring, we don?Tt want to do anything. We are not ourself any more.
What do you think about this?
@meaningless: You must be a Christian believer, meaningless? I?Tm agree with you. There is just a span between thinking and doing. In Buddhism, they said that: ?oif you think that you want to do it, in someday, you will do it?. Thinking is a starting point for doing and I think that?Ts right. You make me remember the song named ?oJealousness? depends on Nguyen Binh?Ts poetry.
?oTôi muốn cô đừng nghĩ đến ai
Đừng hôn dù thấy bó hoa tươi
Đừng ôm gối chiếc đêm nay ngủ
Đừng tắm chiều nay bể lắm người?
But we cannot do that, rite ? We are just normal human. How can we stop thinking about things around us? Are you sure that you won?Tt think about other guys after you have family?

Hello Kany
The first thing I want to tell you is I am a Catholic, not a Christian.
And as you said about thinking of other guys after I get married, I now think that I will get married to the one I love so I feel a little bit confident to say that I can try my best not to think of others. If I do that I think it is just memories about friends.
In case i may think of my ex-friend, for example, I can share my thought with my husband. Because he believes in me. And he is also the one I trust.
How about you? Do you think you can share everything with your husband? and completely believe in him? It is a needed factor to set up a happy family, isn''t it?