[Truyện Tiếng Anh] Blissful Surrender

Blissful Surrender
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“Look, Sean, I appreciate dinner and it has been great to catch up, but I’m not willing to take a walk down memory lane with you and rehash the past. It was good, then it was bad, and now it is great to reconnect, but I think it’s best if we just put this down to exactly what you said, two old friends catching up for old times’ sake. Now we can move on knowing there is no animosity between us so if we see each other around, it won’t be awkward.”

Well, that came out better than I could’ve hoped.

He takes a step back from me and I immediately lose the warm, mellow feeling I had as it transforms into something more closely resembling the hard look that now mars his beautiful face. “Right. So I invite you to a nice, well thought out meal, if I do say so myself. We share a bottle of wine, you clamp up the minute the topic of conversation hits too close to home, and now when I suggest a walk after our wonderful, albeit quiet dinner, you balk and decide it’s too hard.”

“Well, I—”

“No. You’re right. At least one of us can think clearly around the other because I thought that this night would take another turn, maybe lead down a different, definitely more enjoyable path. I was obviously mistaken. I see that your complete inability to be honest with yourself hasn’t changed.”

Now that got my back up. “Hang on a minute. You can’t honestly think that you could bring me out for a nice meal and I’d lay down on my back, spread my legs and put out like some spineless submissive whore. That’s barbaric!” I shout, not giving a f**k that we’re in the middle of the sidewalk.

His face suddenly cracks into a full arrogant smile before he answers. “Now there’s the fire I’ve been looking for. Fortunately, all I see now is an image of you spread eagled, lying before me, begging me to take you.” He leans in until we’re almost nose to nose. “Tell me what it’ll take to make that happen.” He stands up straight and shoots me an arrogant smirk.

Before I know it, my palm connects with his cheek, making my hand sting. “You did not just say that! Seriously, Sean, you are the most arrogant ass of a man I've ever met. You're lucky your hand still wants to touch your own junk. Thank you for the meal, but goodbye and have a nice life!” I turn my back and stride away from him, thankful yet disappointed that he doesn’t come after me.

I walk half a block and turn the corner before hailing the first cab I see. Jumping in, I give the driver my address before resting my head on the cool glass window as he pulls back into traffic. Biting my lip, I try to hold back the deluge of emotion threatening to burst out of me.

Damn that man.

Chapter 10: “Walking Away”

Sean

I watch Sam walk away from me as I war with the need to chase after her versus the need to give her the space she so obviously needs. I pushed too hard. I text my car service and five minutes later, a black sedan pulls up to the curb outside the restaurant.

Telling him to take me to the club, I drop my head against the back seat and scrub my face with my hands. I f**ked up. I’m man enough to admit it, but f**k if I know how to fix it.

I thought dinner had gone well. She was quiet while we ate, answering my questions but focusing on the food more than anything else. There were a few times when I mentioned certain things subconsciously, not realizing how they may have been taken, that I noticed her pause whatever she was doing. A fork laden with food stopping mid-air, or her body tensing up when I mentioned my grandfather’s passing. I didn’t mean to bring up our past, or the moment when she walked out of my life, but even I know that if Samantha and I are to have any chance of moving forward, we’ll need to deal with why she broke up with me and the issues that caused it.

In the ten minute drive to the club, I think back to that day when I met Samantha’s mother, the last woman to storm out of a restaurant and leave me speechless …

Which is a big achievement.

We’d met her at the restaurant of her hotel and straight away I knew I was in trouble. Sam had told me on the way there that her mom was stuck in her military ways and that she sometimes had trouble distinguishing between the military way of life and the way Sam chose to live hers. It had always been a bone of contention between them with Sam usually conceding to her mom to keep the peace.

Sam and I had talked about our families when we’d first started dating a year earlier, and Sam had met my brother and my grandparents. I hadn’t been introduced to her mother until then because her mom lived in Kentucky. She’d recently retired from the Army and had been based at Fort Knox but was thinking about joining Sam in Chicago, hence the visit.

When we walked to the restaurant I knew we were in trouble. Debra Richards, in her well-polished, rigid stance, was already seated at our table, looking at her watch intently before scanning the room and seeing us. Her furrowed brow at Sam was all the confirmation I needed. Her mom was pissed, and I’d made the worst first impression possible. I should have seen the writing on the wall then and there because the lunch only went from bad to worse after that.

First thing I did wrong was ordering Sam’s meal. It was a habit I had gotten into early into our relationship. I knew what she liked and didn’t like, and she would just let me order for her whenever we went out. I didn’t think twice about it, it was just second nature, but the scowl I got from Debra following a loud unapologetic gasp let me know that I’d f**ked up.

“Samantha, I was certain you knew how to order your own meal. Did I not teach you that?”

“Mom, Sean and I know each other well, and he knows what I like, so he orders for me. I find it endearing.”

“I find it controlling. Anyway, Sean, Samantha tells me you’re studying pre-law with her. Which law schools are you looking at?”

My eyes widened at Debra’s directness. She’d been abrupt with me since we’d arrived, yet she dived straight in there with the hard questions, questions that Sam and I hadn’t discussed in depth between the two of us let alone with her mother that I just met.

“I’m staying at the University of Chicago, Mrs. Richards.”

“It’s Ms. Richards. I never married the asshat thankfully.” My head shot back in shock at her retort. I held back a grin that I knew would not be appreciated in that moment, but I now knew where Sam got her dirty mouth from.

“Sorry,” I replied sincerely.

“So you should be.” Her eyes narrowed and suddenly I felt like I was on the witness stand at a trial.

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“Mom!” Sam admonished, her cheeks glowing red as she hung her head embarrassed. Her hand holding mine in my lap squeezed apologetically and I knew that she was struggling.

“It’s okay, Sammy.” That earned a raised eyebrow which I ignored as I continued. “Ms. Richards. I applied to the University of Chicago so that I could stay near Samantha.”

“Hmm. And Samantha? Have you decided what you’re going to do yet?”

She sighs resignedly, looking sideways at me then turning to face her stony-faced mother. “I still have a year to decide, Mom.”

“Humph.”

Thankfully, our meals arrived after that and Sam was able to steer the conversation toward more popular topics of conversation, namely about her mother’s retirement and plans for the future.

The next thing I did wrong was standing up as I was taught to do when Debra excused herself to use the restroom. She frowned at me then left.

“I can’t seem to do anything right. I’m thinking it’s not just me though,” I whispered when her mom was out of hearing range.

“It’s not you. It’s just the way she is. I’ll smooth it all over later. You’re doing great. I love you,” she added, leaning toward me and kissing me gently, opening her mouth and allowing me to take over. It was a well-practiced dance that we had perfected over time. It was effortless, but still got my blood pumping in mere seconds.

Not realizing Debra had returned, we were interrupted by a stern throat clearing in front of us.

“Oh, ****,” Sam muttered. “Sorry, Mom. Didn’t realize you had come back.”

“Obviously. The young man here couldn’t have mauled you in private? Samantha, you know better than to conduct yourself that way in public. I’m no longer hungry. The bill is taken care of, so you needn’t worry, Sean.” She leaned down and kissed Sam on the cheek before nodding dismissively in my direction. “I’ll call you at twenty hundred hours, Samantha.”

“Well, that was an epic f**k up,” I declared. “Sorry, Sammy, but your mom is an A grade bitch. She disregarded me the minute she clocked me.”

She looked at me with those big, wide, green eyes of hers and I could see she was torn. “She’s just stressed. She’s retired from the job she says she was born to do, and now she’s at a loss as to what to do with her life. I’ll talk to her tonight. Let’s just go.”

And just like that, my meet the mother lunch was over and done with.

The car pulls up outside the club which looks busy with a line around the corner at least. Suddenly, the events of the night feel heavy on my shoulders. “Actually, can you take me to my condo? I don’t think I should be here right now,” I say to the driver.

He pulls out into the traffic and takes me home.

Now all I have to figure out is what the f**k happened with Samantha tonight, and more importantly, what the f**k can I do to fix it. But the one thing I know for sure is that Samantha Richards belongs in my life.

Sam

Me: Hels, I’m screwed!

Helen: Literally?

Me: No! I slapped Sean across the face after a thoroughly enjoyable dinner.

Helen: What the f**k, babe …

Me: It seems like such a blur now, but he was in control all night, then he mentioned going for a walk and I was freaking out because he wanted to talk.

Me: So I said it was great to catch up and now we won’t be awkward around each other. He accused me of trying to get out of talking about our past, I denied it. Then he said I still couldn’t be honest with myself.

Me: I told him he was barbaric thinking I’d spread my legs for a nice meal. He couldn’t get that image out of his head and asked how he could make it happen. So I slapped the arrogant smirk right off his face.

Helen: You finished?

Me: Nope, just getting started. At home now, drinking water because it looks like Vodka and I have a shift tomorrow.

Helen: Lucky you didn’t end up spreading your legs then

Me: *snort* Don’t see that happening anytime soon.

Helen: I call bull****, AGAIN. You need to sort your head out and claim your man. Sean IS the kind of man you NEED in your life, babe.

Rico: Sam, you be with who you want to be with. Don’t let my fiancée bully you

Me (sent to both of them): What the f**k, guys? Ganging up on me much?

Helen: He stole my phone, blame him. All right, babe, might see you tomorrow. Sleep on it. Think about what that man does to you just by breathing, then you’ll have your answer.

Rico: If he breaks your heart, I’ll kill him.

Helen: At least tell me the food was good. Rico owes me a date night.

Me: LOL. Food was awesome. Ethiopian restaurant, I’ll give you the details tomorrow. Love you guys. Thanks for letting me vent.

Helen: That’s what we’re here for, babe. Just sleep on it. Everything will be clearer in the morning.

Me: I f**king well hope so. That man pissed me off, turned me on, and scattered my brain all in the space of a few hours.

Helen: So nothing’s changed then

Me: Shut up!

Helen: Love you, babe, you’re just too pig headed to admit you were wrong and you want him back.

Me: Shut UP!

Helen: ha ha.

Me: Enough. Sleeping now. Have a good shift tomorrow.

Helen: Will do. Night.

Rico: Night.

Me: You guys are ridiculous.

Helen: That’s why you love us. Now go to sleep!

I put my phone onto my bedside table, rolling onto my side and burrowing into the comforter. My brain is still wired though, so sleep will not come easily. I know I probably overreacted tonight. ****. Okay, I did overreact, but that man knows how to push all my buttons. He said he wanted to see the fire inside of me … well, he got that back and then some!

I’m scared of losing that fire by submitting to any man, but especially to Sean. I was raised to always stay strong and independent and to never rely on a man for anything because they’re all rat bastards who will let you down. How can I let my guard down when the right man comes along … comes back? What if I can’t do it? What if it’s been up for so long that I can’t remember what it is like to be vulnerable again?

Oh, wait. I do know what that feels like. I feel it every single time I see Sean Miller.

I close my eyes and will my mind to stop spinning, then fall asleep with an image of Sean’s deep blue eyes staring at me.

I’m screwed.

Chapter 11: “Everything Will Change”

Sam

Four days since I walked away from Sean, which funnily enough would make us just about even in ‘walking away’ stakes. Not that I’m keeping track or anything …

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I brushed Tanner off over the weekend. Both Saturday and Sunday he wanted to do something. In fact, he shocked the **** out of me when he asked me out to a movie. A chick flick at that! I let him down easy, saying I was wiped out from work and needed an early night. My guilt stabbed at me all night, but I’m not in the wrong here. Tanner has always known what our deal was. Right from the beginning I’d established boundaries and he was happy with that, or he appeared happy with that.

I mean what man wouldn’t be happy with having a woman who’s happy with just regular, okay very regular non-committal *** and does not, in any way shape or form, want a relationship? My job is my partner. Okay, it doesn’t keep me warm at night, nor does it give me love, but Tanner takes care of the nights. As for love, I had it once and it ripped my heart out. I was the instigator of the break up, but when I’d realized my mistake, Sean had moved on. Looking back, I’ve recognized how big of an idiot I was to listen to my mother’s opinion on Sean and my relationship with him. I took something that was built on love and trust and decimated it within mere moments with words that were not my own.

Back then, my doubts about being a submissive or even just submissive to Sean, had always lingered. Sticking at the back of my mind as our relationship progressed from that amazing first date to where we were at the time I broke up with him a year later.

As he explained to me early on, he liked having control during ***. He was not a hard core Dominant, but it was an important aspect of him that I would need to accept if we were to move forward in our relationship. In the beginning, in that glorious honeymoon period where you can’t get enough of each other, where you can’t stop touching, kissing and making love to each other, Sean eased me into his ‘way’ of doing things. It was such a heady feeling to give myself to him. It made me feel fulfilled, complete even. In a life where I’d only ever had my mom and the soldiers on the Army base where we lived as role models, I was somewhat exhilarating to have a man want to take care of me the way that Sean did. He cherished me, protected me, looked out for me.

The *** was AMAZING. I’d been with two men before him and there was no comparison. It was like he was the sun and they had been Uranus. I kid you not, the *** was out of this world. But with a mother that raised me the way she did, I always wondered if I was giving a part of myself up when I was with him, a part that was given willingly and without thought.

As natural as breathing.

The day I broke up with him was the most devastating day of my life, but at the time I felt it was necessary.

It was after Sean met my mom for the first time. To say it didn’t go well is an understatement. Mom had all but dismissed him from the get go. We arrived late which is something that my mother never appreciated from anyone, but when it was from her daughter’s boyfriend it was unforgivable. Then Sean ordered my meal for me and spent the meal with his arm hooked around the back of my chair, things that were natural for us and I actually loved but Mom saw those things differently.

Later that night, when I was in my dorm and called her as requested, she made her unimpressed opinion of Sean very clear.

“Samantha, that boy may be nice, but you are losing yourself to him and that is unacceptable.”

Mom, that is a bit unfair. You spent no more than an hour with him.”

“I didn’t need any more than five minutes to see that the boy is dominating your relationship. No future pairing should be built on an uneven foundation, and what you have with Sean is as crooked as a dog’s hind leg. Your father abandoned us the minute you were born, Samantha, and because I was weak, I nearly crumbled. You must stay strong and clear-minded. That man is older than you, headed into a very stressful, powerful career and you’re already downtrodden. Get out and end it now.”

“He’s not like that, Mom. He’s—”

“He’s domineering, controlling, and disrespectful. You do not need a man like that.”

“No! I will not end my relationship with Sean just because you have the wrong idea about him.”

“I think you’re not hearing me right, young lady. I said you need to end it with him. He is not the right kind of man for you. You need someone who will honor you, support you, and turn up early to the lunch where he’s about to meet your mother for the first time. Richards women are no subservient or submissive. We’re equal with our men. I wasn’t with your father, but I’ve learned from that mistake. I just don’t want you to make the same misguided choices that I made.”

“I—”

“No, Samantha. It’s simple. Clean break. Do it now before things get more serious.”

“I’ll think about it.”

“No thinking required. Clean break, no harm done. Now, I must go. Early flight in the morning.”

“Okay, Mom. It was nice seeing you.”

“Call me when you’ve sorted it out, Samantha. I want better for you.”

Later that night when Sean rang me, I’d already been in bed for an hour and was emotionally spent. I blew him off by feigning a headache and promised to catch up with him the next day.

My mother and her toxic opinion of men had successfully fed my doubts about Sean and my relationship. I knew that when I talked to him about it, he would try reasoning with me, but I didn’t need handling or psychoanalyzing. All my life I’d been handled in one way or another. What I needed was time and space to think things through.

But I didn’t get time and space, and that may just be why things ended the way they did.

On Saturday morning, I receive a call over the radio saying that I have lunch waiting for me at the precinct. Confused but intrigued, Zander and I make our way back to base and walk in to see a bunch of the most beautiful yellow sunflowers I have ever seen on the front desk. Beside the bouquet is a takeaway coffee, a chicken Caesar salad, and a spiced apple muffin.

I think I died and went to heaven in my first bite of that muffin. Of course, there was no note but the desk sergeant told me that a nicely dressed, very handsome man had delivered it and asked that I be told it was there. I didn’t need confirmation to know who it was from.

During finals in college, when I was working myself to the bone studying, Sean would stop by with a coffee and a muffin. Of course, I returned the favor by giving him head under his desk, which would lead to him pulling me up from my knees and bending me over said desk …

You get the point.

The smirk on Zander’s face is infuriating. “An admirer, Sam?”

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“Like you can talk, Roberts. You go pansy faced whenever your girl sends you a text.”

His eyes widen slightly before he shakes his head at me, but not before I miss the slight blush of his cheeks. “Anyway, we eating or what?” he asked before heading toward the break room. I chuckle as I follow behind him.

I place the flowers in a cup of water so that they’ll last my shift, then put the food on the table and grab my cell from my pocket with the intention of sending a short, sweet text to say thank you.

Me: Hey, it’s Sam. I’m guessing the early morning lunch and flower delivery was from you?

Sean: Good guess, Samantha. I want to see you again. We need to clear up last night’s miscommunication.

Me: No need. Thank you for the lunch and flowers, they’re beautiful. Totally unnecessary.

Sean: Nothing is unnecessary when it comes to you. Let me know when I can see you again.

Holy f**k! I couldn’t respond to that. If there was such a thing as being stunned text-less, that was me.

Sean texts me every night, asking how my day was and reminiscing about specific events in our past. It’s disconcerting and thrilling at the same time, like traveling on a roller coaster through time but knowing that the only direction this could go is down, but I can’t help myself. It has been nice to reconnect with him. He has asked me to meet with him again, but I’ve been a coward, continuing to offer up excuses as to why I can’t see him again.

Texting seems less threatening than a phone call. Don’t get me wrong, I still totally overanalyze his words and the meaning behind them and agonize over my replies, but it is getting easier. I’m trying to quell the feelings for him that I sense are resurfacing. Honestly, I don’t know that I can be the woman he wants, not full time anyway. I admitted to myself a long time ago that although I’m ***ually submissive, I’m not into the hardcore kinky ****. I like being restrained, controlled, used by the man I’m with, but it needs to be in the right moment and with the right man. Tanner is not that man, and neither were the few one night stands I’ve had since Sean.

Remember I said he’d ruined me for other men?

Despite his Saturday delivery last week, and our text conversations since, I’m still the same coward who can’t admit she was and is still wrong. It’s always been my biggest fault, and with Sean I have more than just the date and my behavior during it to apologize for. How do you say, “Oh, by the way, I’m sorry I f**ked up first time around and ruined something f**king awesome between us. Forgive me?”

If only it were that easy.

Chapter 12: “Me My Jealousy”

Sean

I’ve found myself at the Chicago Police Memorial Foundation’s annual fundraising dinner, representing my firm as a last minute favor for my boss. I haven’t brought a date. With more notice, I would have considered asking Samantha, but I know I need to tread lightly with her. Last week’s date showed me that I need to be smart in the way I approach her if I want her back in my life … and my bed.

I’ve had a lot of time to reflect this week on what is missing from my life. Apart from Mac, I haven’t wanted a woman for more than a night or two since Sammy, and seeing her again has made me realize that she is the reason why. But in order for me to be sure that she wants to be with me too, she will need to be the one to come to me. I can’t force her; I can’t make her want to be with me again, but for my peace of mind and for the sake of saving both of us a repeat of the past, she needs to be sure.

That’s not to say I can’t help her make her mind up though.

My life seems to be un-complicating itself. Well, mainly the part of my life that involves Ryan. He moved back to his apartment earlier this week and has promised to contact both the therapist and Gamblers Anonymous. This time I’m hoping he’s been scared into getting help. There is still the matter of his debt to the bookie who roughed him up in the club, but that is one debt I refuse to settle. But if any trouble is made for myself or my club, I promise there will be hell to pay.

I’m sitting at a table with a bunch of old law school buddies of mine when I see her. There may be a lot of beautiful women here, but none of them compare to the sunshine-haired beauty as she walks into the room on the arm of a man who looks like he wants to eat her. I struggle to stifle the growl that rumbles in my chest. My lips tighten, my fists instinctively tightening on the table in front of me. She’d told me about Tanner, her casual, not serious f**k buddy, and all indications are that her escort is one and the same. My first instinct is to rip his hands off her; the very thought of any man that isn’t me touching her vexes me. I watch with a cold glare as they approach a table with two vacant chairs, smiling at another tall, blond man and his attractive partner who I note has the most striking red hair I have ever seen. He stands and gives Samantha a hug before shaking hands with Tanner and inviting them to sit down. Once Samantha takes her seat—which I’ll add, Tanner did NOT pull out for her as a gentleman should—he sits down and drapes his arm possessively along the back of her chair. I subconsciously grind my teeth in frustration. If there was ever a moment to see green, this was it.

In short, I’m jealous as f**k.

What I ought to do is walk up to her right now and sweep her off her feet, taking her from the room and back to my bed, where she belongs. But I distract myself with the conversation at the table, sneaking glances in her direction every now and then.

Until the moment that the key note speaker steps up onto the stage and talks about all the big donors for the night, one of which is my firm. I look over to her table and lock eyes with her. The look on her face goes from wide-eyed shock to confusion, to something resembling embarrassment as her cheeks go pink and she sits up straight, noticeably shifting away from her date. I smirk and her eyes narrow as she realizes that I’ve obviously been watching her for a while. I nod a silent hello before shifting my attention back to the speaker, not looking back at her for the duration of the speech.

It’s not until after the dinner, when the band starts playing and couples start congregating on the dance floor, that I decide it’s time to make my next move. Waiting until Tanner is engaged in what looks like deep conversation with the man next to him, I stand and move toward Samantha’s table.

“Samantha, what a surprise to see you again.” I purposefully pause to take in how breathtaking she looks in close quarters. She’s wearing a demurely ***y, black V-neck dress. Standing above her I get a glimpse of a black lace bra that has my dick twitching in anticipation of seeing more, but I try to calm my thoughts and clear my head, focusing on the end game—getting my girl back.

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“Y-Yes. Hi, Sean. Fancy seeing you here …” she says, leaving her comment open ended in anticipation of an answer.

“Yes, a funny coincidence, wouldn’t you say? Fortunately, my boss called in a favor late this afternoon and I’m attending the dinner in his place.”

“I see.” She fidgets in her seat and curls her hair back behind her ear repeatedly. Her apparent nervousness is very becoming.

“Babe, who’s this?” The dickhead to her left asks, unapologetic as he turns toward me, obviously sizing me up. His words are clipped, his tone aggressive at best.

“Tanner, this is Sean Miller. He’s an old friend of mine,” Sam says, emphasizing the word friend. Her eyes sparkle with amusement as I hold my hand out to Tanner who just looks at it before slowly shaking. A firm but inconspicuous squeeze gives his true thoughts away, making the smile on my face morph into a knowing grin.

“Great to meet you, Tanner. I wasn’t aware Samantha was seeing anyone—”

“I’m not!” she interjects harshly, not realizing how much she has just given away. She looks at him quickly with guilt written all over her face before turning back toward me. “I mean, Tanner and I are just friends and colleagues.”

My grin gets bigger at her unintentional admission. “Great, then you won’t mind me stealing Samantha away for a dance. We have a lot of catching up to do, don’t we, friend?”

Her lips twitch as she tries to hold back a smile, recognizing a pissing contest when she sees one. “Yes, we do. You don’t mind, do you, Tanner?”

“Nope, go ahead,” he grumbles as he picks up his glass and knocks it back quickly. “I’m going to get another drink.”

“Fantastic,” I boast before holding out my hand to my dance partner, and wrapping my fingers around hers as she places it in mine. She pushes her chair out before standing radiantly in front of me.

“After you …” I offer, gesturing for her to lead the way. I’m not used to doing the following and I know she realizes that this is not the norm. To her cre***, she doesn’t hesitate as she walks toward the dance floor, pulling me behind her.

She stops in the middle of the crowd of swaying couples, turning to look at me. I swear if that woman ****s her hip and glares at me expectantly, I won’t be able to stop myself from doing something highly inappropriate for a police charity dinner. Instead, she bites her lip and steps into my arms as I hold them out in front of me. Pulling her in close against me, I gently place my right hand on her left hip. Lacing her other hand’s fingers with mine, I hold our hands up as I start to sway side to side in time to I Hate The Way I Love You by Rihanna and Ne-Yo.

She leans into me, her body relaxing into mine as if it’s the most natural thing in the world for us to be dancing together. Taking her lead, I glide my hand up her back until it rests across her shoulders. A contented sigh escapes her lips and I will my body to control itself as I feel an all too familiar tightness in my groin. Something about this woman obliterates all semblance of the control I pride myself on. It should worry me, but then again it was always like this with Sammy. Everything felt right, natural, like we belonged.

“What are we doing, Sean?” she whispers quietly. She looks up at me and her big jade eyes hit me like a sucker punch. “Because I’m not sure I can resist for much longer …” she murmurs, her voice tapering off as if she’s unsure of what she’s saying.

“Why resist?” I murmur as I rest my cheek against her hair.

“You know why. We don’t work.”

“Hmm …” I say, continuing to move against her, not stopping as the song ends and the lead singer starts playing Coldplay’s I Ran Away.

She drops her head to my shoulder, and the contentment I feel from holding her in my arms consumes me. Her arm strokes my back, making my muscles flex at the sensation. I can feel the heat from her touch through my suit jacket, and I can’t focus on anything other than the beautiful woman in my arms. This is so damn right. I don’t know how she can keep me at arm’s length but she’s worth the wait. Everything in me wants to whisk her away, show her how good we were, how good we can be.

After a few minutes, the song comes to an end and the MC announces that the band will be taking a short break. As if waking from a trance, I move my arms away from her and gently push her away from my body.

“Sean, what’s wrong?”

Her eyes dart around the room, looking over my shoulder toward her table where I know her dickhead date will be watching her like a hawk. Friends with benefits my ass! One look at him with her and I knew he wanted more than just benefits; he wants the whole damn package. Pity I can’t let that happen. Ever. “Thank you for the dance, Samantha. I got carried away there for a minute and forgot myself.”

She looks up at me, her eyebrows furrow in confusion at my sudden change. “Did I … Did I do something wrong?” she stutters.

“No, it was all me. I must be going, I’ve got to go check in at the club.” I grab her hand and lift it to my mouth, gently kissing the back of it before letting it go. “Nice seeing you again, Sammy.”

I muster all the restraint I have and turn around, walking away from the one woman I never want to leave, the one who needs to make a decision about what and who she truly wants. And soon.

Sam

I stand in the middle of the dance floor watching Sean’s back as he walks away from me, again. I feel embarrassed, turned on and frustrated as hell, and I have to lock my knees to stay upright.

Being in Sean’s arms again felt better than I remembered. It was like the world around us disappeared and we were the only two people left. I can still feel where Sean’s hands touched my hip, up my back, across my shoulders, my cheek where I laid my head on his shoulder, my chest where it was pressed snugly against his …

I stumble to the bar and order a vodka tonic—more vodka, less tonic—then down it in one gulp before ordering another one, seeking anything that will clear my head.

When I reach my table again, Tanner and Zander are deep in conversation.

“Sam!” Kate calls as I sit down in my seat. “We were just saying how we should head out to a club. It’s only nine o’clock, way too early to be calling it a night. You up for it?”

Tanner looks over at me and raises a brow, anticipating my normal polite decline. Bolstered by the alcohol coursing through me, I suddenly feel full of energy and ready to dance.

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**** it! Sean walked away and left me all worked up and confused as hell. Who says we can’t go to his f**king club and give him a taste of his own medicine? How dare he approach me in front of my colleagues and friends and get all possessive in front of Tanner, not trying to hide how jealous he obviously was, then dance with me. AND he didn’t just dance like an old pair of friends; he danced with me like he was my man, my lover … branding me and igniting my body with his touch.

How f**king dare he!

“That’s an awesome idea!” I exclaim, standing up and grabbing Tanner’s hand, wobbling slightly on my heels before he cups my shoulders to steady me.

“You okay, babe?” he asks, sounding concerned.

“Sure. Let’s do this. I know just the club.”

I lead Tanner outside the club, Kate and Zander bringing up the rear. I start walking down the street, hand in hand with Tanner as I try hard to ignore the fact that I feel nothing toward him. No spark, no warmth spreading through my body, no fluttering in my belly like when Sean is near. I know I’m probably leading him on, but right now I have one thing on my mind and that is showing Sean exactly what he’s missing, exactly what he walked away from.

“Where are we headed, Sam?” Zander asks, coming up beside me.

I don’t hesitate. I don’t even look up at him as I answer. I just keep striding toward my destination. The desire to see Sean again is all the motivation I need to walk three blocks in four inch pumps as I decree, “We’re going to Throb. We’re going to get drunk and have some fun.”

Drunk woman on a mission.

Get the f**k out of my way.

Chapter 13: “You Got The Love”

Sam

I scan the club hoping to catch a glimpse of the man that I can’t stop thinking about.

I’ve been secretly hoping that Sean is watching me on the dance floor and will sweep me out of Tanner’s arms into his. Wishful thinking obviously. I can’t sort my head out. I know I want him, but I keep waiting for him to make his move and he just hasn’t tried to seal the deal yet. He gets so far then pulls back, leaving me hot and bothered and aching for more.

One could almost think he wants me to go to him!

As soon as we walk in the doors of the club, I make a beeline for the bar and order a round of shots. Tanner then follows suit, ordering another round, and before too long my overactive mind has blurred edges and I’m feeling relaxed and carefree. But even in my tipsy state, I can’t get Sean out of my head.

He was so overtly possessive earlier in front of Tanner. And when he held me in his arms as we danced, the energy between us was electric. I mean, if there was ever another power crisis, just put Sean and me in a small room together and watch the kilowatts go through the roof!

My skin prickles with awareness and I instantly know he is nearby. No other man has made me so on edge. There is no one else on earth that I’ve ever felt this in tune with before; it’s disconcerting and thrilling at the same time.

Pony by Rihanna blasts through the sound system and Tanner takes the opportunity to move in close, hooking his arm around my waist and pulling me hard against him. The dance floor fills to bristling, but the people are a blur. All I can feel is Tanner’s hard body writhing suggestively in time with the music and the all too familiar buzz in my head from too much vodka. My body is strung so tight I fear I’ll snap, and it’s that pent-up tension that sees me matching Tanner grind for grind, my hips swinging seductively with his as I lift my arms around his neck, tangling my hands in his hair and pulling the strands through my fingers. I close my eyes and for a moment I imagine it’s Sean I’m dancing with, that it’s his hands wandering over my body, the silky material of my dress sliding up slightly when one hand rakes against the bare skin of my thigh while the other cups my ass, holding me tight against him. I reopen my eyes as Tanner’s hands glide over me, remaining oblivious to the discomfort I feel the minute I lock eyes with Sean.

His sapphire eyes bore into mine from across the crowded club as he leans against the stairs on the far wall that lead up to the second floor and his office; the office where he’d told me I could find him if I needed him.

In my heart, I know I don’t want Tanner; it was never an emotional connection with him. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a really nice guy, but he’s not him. When I think about it, nobody has even come close to him. My resolve to fight whatever feelings still rage between us is failing. Those deep blue eyes, that knowing smirk of his that tells me he’s thinking dirty thoughts and they all involve me, the way his touch relaxes and charges me all at the same time. My automatic supplication whenever he’s near.

I haven’t been able to admit that to myself until right now when I’m in the arms of another man, and in a club with an illicit reputation that both scares and exhilarates me as I stare into the eyes of the man that makes my heart race like no other.

Tanner and I continue to dance as Rihanna talks about doing it, but it’s the rest of the words that sink into my psyche about having a lover and needing no other.

Sean’s head tilts upward, his chin strong and unwavering. Even from across the room I can see that he’s tense, his rigid body unmoving, his jaw clenched so tightly that if I were closer I’d swear I could hear his teeth grinding. Frowning and shaking his head, he turns and speaks to the bouncer briefly before taking the stairs two at a time, striding away from me, away from us. Tanner buries his face in my neck, and when I feel his tongue on my skin I realize why Sean left.

I feel like I’ve been sucker punched in the gut.

I need to go to him, I need to show him that I want this, want him. Not Tanner.

“Sam,” A voice whispers in my ear, bringing me out of my haze. “You wanna get out of here? Any more of this…” Tanner murmurs as he grinds his hard length against me, “...and I’ll get arrested, even in a club with a perverted reputation like this.”

His words act like cold water. Pulling away, I take a step back while pushing on his shoulders to put a decent gap between us. His eyes narrow as he frowns down at me. “Sam, what’s wrong?” His hands covertly go into his pockets as he tries to hide his predicament. If I were in the right frame of mind I’d find it amusing, but right now nothing is funny. It’s like I’ve just been hit with a Mac truck of realization and there is only one man I want to see standing in front of me. The one man who I know is probably still watching this situation unfold, that’s if he hasn’t washed his hands of me. Seeing me in the arms of another man in front of him would do that. I know that the mere thought of Sean being with another woman, let alone touching her, kills me.

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I can’t deny this anymore. He knows me, he knows the real me, and the man still makes my days brighter, my dreams hotter, and can command a room like he owns the joint. He’s strong, he’s dedicated, and hard working. In fact, he’s turned out to be everything he promised me he would be - successful, dedicated, and willing to build a life for us.

And I never gave him a chance.

What am I? ****ing stupid or what! I had a man ready to give me the world and I walked away.

I shake my head as Tanner puts his hand on my bare arm. His touch doesn’t warm me like it used to.

“Look, Tan, I’m sorry.”

“You’re sorry?” he looks at me in utter disbelief. “For what? Getting me worked up in a club? ’Cause baby, as long as you help me work my way down, all is forgiven.”

“No. I’m sorry because I can’t do this with you anymore.”

“This?” he waves his hand between us and I nod. He stares at me for a moment, two of us standing in a throng of unaware dancers continuing to shift around us.

I drop my head to the floor, my shoulders slumping in defeat as I refuse to register the hurt in his eyes. I look up to see Tanner’s back as he walks away from me toward the club’s front door. Once he disappears from sight, my eyes move to the stairs leading up to where Sean is, the man I truly want. My feet are stuck and I’m standing there motionless in a mass sea of flying limbs and sweaty bodies, caught between what my heart and body wants and what my mind is telling me I’m not in a position to handle.

One heel in front of the other. One step at a time, I make my way to the stairs. The bouncer holds his hand up to stop me and as I open my mouth to tell him who I want to see. He tilts his head toward his earpiece, his eyes cutting to me. With a chin lift, he steps aside. “Last door on the left, Samantha.”

My head snaps up to his at the sound of my name. Sean knows I’m coming. He’s been watching me which means he saw me stop Tanner and then saw Tanner leave the club. My stomach fills with butterflies as I climb the stairs. To the left is a private bar that Sean told me was for members to use away from the general public, either before or after they’d partaken in the VIP rooms. I turn to the right and see a dimly lit hallway lined with low hanging red tinted lamps, and heavy wooden doors line each side of the walls with colors fading from black at the beginning to scorching hot red at the end.

When I reach the very end of the corridor, I pause for a moment, resting my head against the cool wood as I try to collect my thoughts and prepare myself for whatever might happen in the office I’m about to enter. Will he be angry? Or will he be eerily calm in a way that is all Sean?

I stand up straight, looking down my body to check that I’m presentable before pushing my hair back behind my ears and knocking once firmly, then softer a second time as my momentary bravado starts to lose steam.

A few seconds later, the door opens and my vision is filled with Sean—shirt loose and unbuttoned at the top, his eyes tight, his expression indiscernible.

“Samantha,” he murmurs, not taking his eyes away from my face which is telling.

“Can I come in?”

“Do you want to? Or are you just in need of a ride home? I just watched your friend leave alone,” he sneers.

“Sean, please. We need to talk.”

He steps aside and I walk past him, the small space forcing me to turn sideways as I brush past him. My br**sts graze his chest and I gasp as sparks ignite between us. I slowly look back up at him and see his stormy eyes full of heat, so I quickly step into his office and stop in the middle of the room, turning around to face him. I’m not feeling as drunk as I did downstairs. The importance of the next few minutes acts like the most potent cup of coffee I could ever drink.

He shuts the door, turning the lock before facing me and leaning back against the door. His head drops and he takes me in, starting at my black strappy heels up my legs and working his way slowly over my curves. His intense gaze feels like a gentle caress full of heat and promise. I shudder and I know he doesn’t miss it. I’m so turned on right now; I swear he could breathe on me and I’d climax instantly. It feels right to be with him. Despite my misconceptions about his strength and his power over me, Sean is the most in control man I have ever known.

So why am I shaking like a leaf in anticipation?

Sean

“I shouldn’t want this,” she murmurs quietly, unsure of what she is saying. I watch her body, looking for cues to prove what I already know. She’s lying to herself and more importantly, to me.

Staying grounded where I am, my back to the office door, I watch her face and the inner battle ensuing between the need to stay and the desire to run. And it is a need; even if she hasn’t realized it yet. “But you need it, Samantha. You need me, don’t you?”

I take a step toward her as she steps back until her body hits my desk. I continue to advance and her chest rises and falls quickly, her breathing labored as her body tells me what she is not yet prepared to admit.

When I stop the heat from her body radiates through mine, and I have to stifle a groan at the sheer magnetism of the woman in front of me. Her untapped compliance that she still refuses to acknowledge after all of these years draws me in.

Closing my eyes I stand and simply breathe her in. Her coconut scent, the same body lotion she used to use back in college, brings back memories of our bodies entwined, our lips meshed together as I brought her to climax time and time again. I shake my head and open my eyes, meeting hers full of latent heat and desire.

“Sean, I—”

No. She’s not getting another moment to talk herself out of this, out of us. She’s been running for way too long. This time, it’s for keeps. This time, I’m not letting anything come between us. Not her mother. Not my brother. Not her job. Not some convoluted idea she gets in her head that she is not the submissive I need her to be. I’m sick of the bull**** and this time, I want what is mine. And Sam is mine.

Wrapping my arm around her waist, I pull her body tight against mine and slant my head, slamming my mouth to hers as she gasps in shock. My hand grabs her blonde ponytail, holding her in place, and her tight muscles relax as soon as my tongue rolls over hers.

I set out to rediscover the beauty that is Samantha Richards.

Her taste is intoxicating and I find myself wanting to consume her, to lose myself inside of this gorgeous woman whose mind continues to deny the never ending connection between us. In this moment, I want to show her everything I am, everything I can do to her, every possible way I can make her feel. I know I’m losing control, but with Sam …

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I don’t care.

I press my hips into her, pressing my hard-as-steel c**k against the softness of her stomach. I feel her arms move between us, and when I expect her to push her palms against my chest and push me away, she fists my shirt and pulls me closer, thrusting her hips into me in silent invitation. She may not be able to admit the words, but she can show me with her body, with her actions. She can no longer deny that the spark between us is as strong as it was in the beginning.

I pull my head back slightly, raking my teeth against her bottom lip as I go. I scan her face, looking for any remaining uncertainty. But all I can see are swollen pink lips and eyes full of want and I know in that moment that I have my Sammy back, even if it’s just for a few moments, a few hours, maybe a night. And if that is all I get with her, then I’ll take it willingly. If this is the only chance I get with her, I’m going to make it count. I’m going to draw it out and make it last until neither one of us can move. Hell, until neither of us can breathe without remembering the way we were and this night.

“You were saying?” I say, raising an eyebrow.

“Don’t stop,” she rasps, then she shocks the hell out of me by cupping my cheeks with her warm, velvet soft hands, and guiding her mouth back toward mine. Slow, tentative licks with her tongue against my lips remind me that as much as I want this woman, my Sam, I need to start slow and work her up to my level. The same level where I believe she wants to be, where she’ll be hoarse from screaming out my name as she comes over and over again. ****, I want that.

I give her a few minutes, letting her have some semblance of control before I take over again. Forceful, demanding Sean is back in the room. I’m not going to ask anymore, I’m going to take what I want. And right now, I want my Sammy to be writhing breathless beneath me as I take her. I feel any leftover resistance seep from her body as she relaxes against me, tacit acceptance of everything I’m giving her and more. I tilt my head and plunder her mouth, my hand on her waist slipping down to her ass, my fingers gripping tightly, making her feel every inch of what is waiting for her. My other hand grips her hair roughly, pulling just enough to demand her attention. Her answering moan is all the fuel I need as I drag my mouth along her jaw and down her neck, nipping with my teeth before soothing with a lick of my tongue. I move my leg between hers, lifting my thigh until it’s flush against her warm center, angling her pelvis hard against my leg with pressure on her ass until Sam’s instincts take over and her hips start thrusting against my leg, seeking the friction she needs to find exquisite pleasure she seeks, the ecstasy I want to give her.

“****,” she moans as I continue to kiss her neck. I can’t get enough of her, I never want to stop. Her skin tastes divine, exactly how I remember, sweet as honey and ***y as sin.

She tastes like home.

She continues to grind against my thigh, my throbbing c**k straining against her hip, hard as steel and likely to leave bruises by morning, but right now I want more from her, need more. Releasing my grip on her hair, I trail my palm down the back of her neck, running my fingers over the curve of her shoulder and down inside the V of her dress. Slipping my fingers inside the satin cup of her bra, I curl my hand around the curve of her breast, gently squeezing in time with the thrust of her hips against me. I swipe my thumb across her hard nipple, loving the shudder that surges through her body. Her breathing quickens, letting me know how close she is to coming so leaning forward, I nip her earlobe, “Come for me, Sammy. Let me hear you cry out my name.”

“Holy ****!” she screams as her climax hits her and she rides it out with hard and long strokes of her pelvis against my leg. It takes every ounce of control I have to stop myself from coming in my pants like a horny teenager.

I move my hand out of her top and start running my hands slowly over her back and arms as she comes down from her extraordinary high. That was ***y as **** and I can’t wait to feel her come all around my ****. I pull my leg away, smiling when I hear her mournful whimper at the loss.

“Sammy, I need more than this. Let me show you how good it can be. Give me this. Tonight.” I cup her jaw with my hands, my eyes boring into hers as I wait for her answer. I hold my breath because I don’t know what I’ll do if she pulls away from me again. It hurt the first time, and even big bad Doms aren’t invincible. Twice would shatter me.

Her breath fans over my face as she struggles to recover. Her eyes drop to my mouth, then back up to meet mine. She nods as her lips part, and I watch as her tongue darts out to touch her swollen mouth. “But not here. I want you, Sean, but I can’t do it here. I just can’t.”

I watch her for a few seconds, realizing that she’s being completely upfront with me. Her hands resting on my hips haven’t moved, and she hasn’t pulled her body away from mine. She’s fully on board with the idea of this, of us, but as her head drops to the floor I realize she’s holding her breath too.

“Anything you want. This is about us. Not the club. Not our past. Nothing except you and me, here and now. I’ve never wanted anybody as much as I want you.” I reach down and adjust myself in my slacks. My c**k is so hard it hurts. It’s been a long time that I’ve felt like this. “I want you to know, I never play at home, only here. You’re the only woman I want in my bed right now.” I shut my mouth suddenly, stopping myself from saying that if I had my way, she’d be the last too. Baby steps, Miller. I’ve waited for her to come to me, now I have to bide my time.

“Sean, I—”

“No. Don’t tarnish this with regret or apologies, Sam. If you’re sure about this,” I take a step back and hold out my hand toward her, “then take a chance on me, on us. I want to show you how good we can be. I want to have a chance to prove to you that we’re good together.”

Without any hesitation, she places her hand in mine, forcing me to bite back a smirk of satisfaction. I give her hand a gentle squeeze of encouragement before pulling her hard into my chest. Reverently kissing her temple, I hold my lips against her skin, “You’re not going to regret this.”

“I know” she whispers. “Believe me, I know.”

Chapter 14: “Breathe (2am)”

Sean

Lying on my back in my third floor master bedroom, I stare at the ceiling as sleep evades me. Looking to my bedside table, I see the time tick over to 2 a.m. but I don’t care. It’s the early hours of Sunday morning, and the woman I could never get enough of is asleep in my arms, her head resting in the crook of my shoulder, her naked leg tangled with mine with her hand resting on top of my chest, directly above my heart.

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It shouldn’t feel so right, should it? Whatever this is between Sammy and I shouldn’t feel so good right off the bat, like there was never a decade we lost.

My plans to bring her back to the condo and reconnect with her in the most pleasurable physical way were curtailed when Sam fell asleep on my shoulder in the car on the way home. I wasn’t pissed off though; she was still slightly drunk and grew sleepy in her adorable post-orgasmic haze. When we arrived at my door, I carried her up the stairs and into my bedroom, laying her down on the bed.

“Can’t sleep in clothes,” she murmured as she clumsily tried to take her dress off over her head without standing up, all the while mumbling, “Sleep naked,” to me.

“Just wait, Sammy, I’ll help you.”

“You just want me naked and begging.” Her husky, slurred voice pulled at me.

I leaned in close, dragging my large hands over her hips and dragging the soft material of her dress up with them, making sure to feel the smooth expanse of her skin under my touch. I didn’t miss the small shudders or the goose bumps that followed, and I had to bite back a groan when she arched her back subconsciously and thrust her br**sts even closer to my face.

That wasn’t my only problem.

1) There was a half-naked Sammy lying on my bed, in my house, the two of us alone in private and void of interruptions for the next eight hours at least.

2) She was being ***y and funny and cute and I didn’t want to do a thing about it until she was awake, sober and cute.

3) My black cotton boxers covering her smooth pu**y kept taunting me. It was hard enough keeping my hands to myself when I saw what lay underneath after she insisted I change her underwear.

4) The glimpse of her br**sts through her black lace bra was begging me to put my mouth on her.

My night had gone south when I saw that cretin pawing at her in my club. When she saw me, I didn’t miss the flash of guilt that washed over her features. I could tell she was thinking of me, imagining … no, wishing it were me with her, touching her, kissing her.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for a bit of exhibitionism in the right context, but watching the woman I want, the woman I need get dry humped in front of me is not my thing, so I mentioned to my bouncer that Sam was allowed up if she approached him, but no one else, and that I’d be in my office if anyone needed me. The hardest thing out of all of that was turning my back on her and walking away.

But walking away from each other seems to be a bad habit of ours, doesn’t it?

I managed to dress her in one of my T-shirts, and my boxers so that her dignity remained intact. Once she was sleeping soundly on her side in my bed, I stripped off and walked into my en suite and turned the shower on, not bothering to close the door. Not waiting for the water to warm up, I was immediately hit with cold water from all six jets, soaking me from all directions. Feeling my built-up lust ease slightly along with the stresses of the night, I finally started to relax. My c**k still ached for relief. I swear, I was in physical pain from being turned on for too long.

But I resisted the temptation to take matters into my own hands in the shower and stepped out, drying myself off before returning to the bedroom and dropping the towel around my waist, hopping into bed next to her.

I turn my head to the side and watch the slow rise and fall of her chest. I wonder if she’ll change her mind in the light of day; whether she’ll bolster her defenses and close herself off again. ****, I hope not. I’ll just have to distract her so that it doesn’t happen.

There is something about having a naked woman in my bed wearing something of mine that fills me. She’s actually here, back in my life and my bed. If you’d asked me a month ago whether I thought that it would be possible, I would have laughed at you and told you to take a hike.

Turning onto my back, I put my arm behind my head. 2 a.m. and I’m home, in bed, with a beautiful woman. This is unheard of, but hell if I don’t like it. A lot. The only thing to make it better would be for her to be naked and awake, writhing beneath me.

She rolls toward me, tangling her legs with mine and plastering her body against mine as she rests her hand on my chest, directly above my heart. ****! That instantly gets my c**k standing to attention again. Just when I thought I’d be able to make it until morning.

Reaching down with my left hand, I squeeze my c**k hard, willing the f**ker to settle down and let me sleep. Instead, just touching the hard shaft hardens me further. Sammy’s leg moves against mine, the smooth skin slowly sliding down, then back up again. I look down at her and her eyes are still closed, her hand on my chest remains motionless. Still asleep.

Out of habit, my hand fists my dick and I give in to temptation and give myself a few very welcome strokes. ****, it feels good. I feel her fingers twitch which just spurs me on. I tighten my grip and stroke slowly down and then back up, biting back a groan when her leg repeats its torturous trip down and back up again.

I should stop right now, but with Sammy half on me and her leg mirroring the movements on my ****, that seems near impossible.

Another stroke, another shot of pleasure shoots through me.

Just when I’m looking down at my fist as it palms my ****, Sammy’s hand slowly drifts down my chest, her index finger tracing the lines of my abs until her hand wraps around mine and she moves our hands over my length, up and down, slowly increasing the speed. She squeezes her hand around mine and this time I don’t bother hiding my satisfaction, swearing softly under my breath as I watch us, captivated by the sight of our joined hands stroking my eager dick. I move my hand on top of hers and direct her, the first touch of her soft skin on me sending a surge of total satisfaction through my body.

I turn my head and her bright green eyes burn into mine. She leans her head until our mouths are almost touching, our hands never stopping their assault as she traces the seam of my lips with her tongue. I growl and attack her mouth with renewed hunger, our tongues entwining and our hands speed up.

Stroking up and down as my tongue rolls over hers, our lips glued together as we breathe heavily, my climax rushing through me like a stampede.

“****, Sammy, don’t stop,” I mutter as she pulls away and starts kissing my neck while tightening her grip and silently willing me to finish what I started.

“****, Sammy!” I roar as I climax, our hands still moving as I spill onto my stomach.

I turn my head and take her mouth, murmuring words of appreciation and awe between kisses.

Well, f**k me, the woman isn’t backing off.

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And f**k if I’m not looking forward to taking her again.

Sam

I open my eyes to the wide, hard expanse of Sean’s chest under me. His chest rises and falls softly as he sleeps soundly, and the overwhelming sense of comfort I feel surges through me.

I did it. It wasn’t a dream last night when I gave up fighting and went to his office, giving myself to this man that has been invading my thoughts and feelings for the past few weeks. I shift my body slightly, feeling his arm resting gently on my bare hip, my leg lying on top of his like it is just another morning, an everyday occurrence. My hand is positioned on top of his heart, the steady staccato beat vibrating through my fingers. His smooth, warm skin calls for me to run my hand over him, to explore his hard sculpted body once again.

“Good morning,” he huskily murmurs from above. I jerk my head up and meet his half open blue eyes that are filled with heat, immediately igniting my desire for this gorgeous man.

I smile up at him. “Morning.”

“How are you feeling?” he asks, lifting his arms across his body and smoothing my wayward hair off my face.

“I’m good,” I whisper as I give in to temptation and flex my fingers against him. “It wasn’t a dream.”

His lips tip up, “No, Sammy. Definitely not a dream. No regrets?”

“None. Well, maybe one …”

His brows lift up in surprise, “One?”

I softly laugh at his reaction. He’s obviously thinking the worst. “No, not this. Not at all. It was probably the easiest decision I’ve made in a long time. I’m just sorry that I fell asleep last night …”

“Well, now that we can make up for.” He cups my cheek with his hand and lowers his mouth, slowly kissing my lips, his tongue making gentle languid strokes against mine as my body melts into his. Lifting my leg higher, I brush my thigh against his hard c**k and my pu**y tightens in anticipation. He groans into my mouth as our kiss amps up, my tongue submitting to his as his fingers dig into my hips, his palm hardening against my jaw as he attacks my mouth with renewed hunger. I pull away slightly from his mouth, now panting as my hips instinctively rock against his side.

“I need to be inside you, Sammy, more than I need my next breath. I need to make love to you, assure myself that you’re really here with me, in my bed.” His hand trails down my neck, moving down to my breast as he cups its weight and runs his thumb across my hard nipple. “I need you … to feel your thighs clench around my shoulders as I taste you. I need to feel your pu**y clench around my c**k as I enter you again, I need to make every inch of your body mine … to make you come hard around me. I want to hear you cry out my name as I move inside you.”

****! I need that and more. “Yes. I want you. Make my body yours again, Sean.”

“With f**king pleasure, darling.”

I whip his tee off my body before he swiftly rolls over me, laying his hard body on top of mine, and my thighs which instantly open to accommodate his stiff ****. He kisses me hard and fast again, his tongue exploring my mouth with a hunger that I’ve craved for way too long. He completely overtakes me with his ravenous hunger, tasting and taking my mouth with a heat I’ve only been able to dream about. He shifts his body lower and peppers my neck with open mouthed kisses, nipping gently, then soothing with a swirl of his tongue moving down again, taking a pebbled nipple in his mouth while his hand gently squeezes the other breast. I moan with pleasure as electric pulses run directly down to my pu**y, its slick wetness preparing me for his most welcome invasion.

“Sean,” I moan as he looks up at me through hooded eyes, placing more kisses as his mouth travels lower over my stomach until he is head height with my pulsing clit. Hooking his fingers underneath the waistband of the boxers I’m wearing, he slowly drags them down my thighs before throwing them over his shoulder and slowly gliding his hands back up until I’m a writhing mess, panting embarrassingly as he spreads my thighs wide then moves his thumbs to open me as he takes in my bare lady garden. With a sly grin and his eyes locked with mine, he darts his tongue out and circles my clit, sending a full body shudder through me.

My hands automatically grab his head, my fingers tangling in his hair and firmly holding him against me. “Uh-uh,” he says, wrapping his hands around my wrists and pulling them to the bed, holding them firmly in place as he continues to lap at me, circling and sucking, licking me end to end as my body sings with desire. My heart races, knowing that I have to take whatever he gives me, feel whatever he wants me to feel. My belly tightens as my climax rushes me, and the moment Sean wraps his lips around my clit and sucks hard, I shatter into a million pieces.

“Sean! ****! ****! Oh, my godddddd!” I scream as my back arches, my hips holding firm against his mouth. He gently eases back and softly licks my slit backward and forward, the sensation drawing out the waves of ecstasy as I return to earth. I’m in a haze as he moves up my body, dragging his weight against me as I feel his smooth steel c**k inch closer to my core.

He kisses my lips and moves my hands up the side of our bodies and over my head, never letting go as he secures them in one of his own. The sweet taste of my come on his lips spins me into a frenzy as I wrap my legs around his hips, and pull his body hard against mine. I moan as he runs his hard length against me

“Pleaaasssseeee …” I groan.

“****!” he curses as he rests his head against my forehead and stills his torturous movements.

Unable to touch him with my hands, I lift my chin to kiss his jaw tenderly. “What’s wrong? Don’t stop.”

He lifts his head and looks straight at me, his eyes still dark with lust but also soft and gentle. “I’ve got no protection here. It’s downstairs in my wallet.” I swear he blushes with embarrassment. My big bad Dom embarrassed? Never thought I’d see the day. He goes to get off me and I wrap my legs around his hips, pinning him in place and start giggling.

After staring at me in disbelief, his grimace turns into a smirk. “What are you laughing at?”

It takes a few moments to compose myself. “I’ve got an implant, and I always use condoms, but I trust you, Sean …” I look up at him, my expression turning serious as I realize how big of a step this is. This is the most vulnerable I have been with him, the most open, trusting, and willing. He nods once and lowers his body, bringing his lips back to mine, keeping his eyes wide open as he lovingly explores with his tongue, nipping my bottom lip before sucking it into his mouth.