[ Truyện Tiếng Anh ] Holding Out

Holding Out
Holding Out Page 10



No. That wasn't an option.

I had hoped to wake with no one to deal with, so then I'd have the chance to make a clean getaway. Of course, that would have been after I called work and explained that soon there'd be a madman after me, so I wouldn't be able to work any longer because I'd be running for my life. Then I’d ask them if they wanted me to drop off some coffee and donuts on the way.

But no, yet another plan foiled. Stupid, caring people.

I sighed and stepped out from around the corner before I had a puddle of drool at my feet from admiring Talon too long. “Morning all,” I said cheerfully and looked out the kitchen windows. “Oh, poop. It's drizzling outside.” Damn it, my stuff was going to get wet when transferring it from the house to the car.

“Can't be helped,” I added. “So, what's everyone doing today?” I asked while pouring myself a freshly brewed cup of coffee from the maker beside the sink.

“Either you done her last night, and done her good, or she's high,” Deanna said.

I wish. I could go for a bit of both, actually.

“Deanna, hun. Whatever do you mean?” I turned to look at her.

“Zee, sweet chops, I know you.”

“Huh? What's that got to do with anything? A-a-a-anyway, thanks for staying last night, but, uh, y'all better get going. Isn't there work to get to? And I gotta get ready for mine. So, uh, thanks.”

“And there we have our answer,” Deanna said smugly, leaning back in her chair.

“What?” Talon asked. I still hadn't looked at him; my eyes stayed on Deanna or the floor.

“She wants us gone, so she has the chance to run and hide with her head up her ass.”

I stiffened, my cup half raised to my lips. Stuff Deanna and her knowing me too well.

Talon's head fell back, and he let out a deep rumble of laughter, sending goose bumps all over my body.

He shook his head and then looked at me...no, I should've said glared at me. Hoo-boy.

He pushed away from the sink and slowly, sensually, moved toward me. He took my cup from my hands and placed it on the bench behind me. Which gave me a chance to take a good whiff of him, causing my body to respond. My hands went to his chest; his went to my waist. I looked up at him.

“Let's get one thing straight right now, kitten,” I nodded. “I won't have you runnin'. This is your ****in' place; nothing is runnin' you off. I won't ****in' let it. You get me, woman?” This time I shook my head. He sighed. “Even though my dick ain't been in you—yet, I still classed you mine once my mouth touched yours. You have my protection, kitten. My boys’ protection. Nothin' is gonna ****in' happen to you, Maya, or Hell Mouth there.”

“Thanks,” Deanna grinned.

Wow! What was I supposed to say to that? Was he like this for all his hoochy mamas? Not that I was his H.M. We hadn't even slept together.

Still, no matter how his words made me feel, the urge to run and hide was higher than anything else. Not for my sake, but for Maya's, and to keep those who wanted to protect me safe.

“No.”

His eyebrows rose. “What?” he growled.

“I can't let you do that. I won't have any harm come to you and your boys because of me; and you can't ask that of them either. Promise, I'm really not that good of a lay.”

He leaned his forehead against mine. “For ****’s sake, kitten.” I could hear the smile in his voice.

“Too damned considerate,” Deanna grumbled.

Griz stood abruptly. We all watched him leave the room and heard the front door slam seconds later.

“What's his problem?” Deanna asked.

“Nothin',” Talon said. He kissed me quickly—way too quick if you ask me—stepped back and said, “We got **** to talk about. Finish your coffee, babe, and then both of you get your asses in the living room.” With that, he stalked out, down the hall, and—no doubt—into my room to use my en-suite.

“I'm upset with you, bitch,” Deanna said, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Yeah, well, I'm upset with you too, whore.” I glared. “Why'd ya have to tell them what I was going to do?”

“'Cause I see the way P.P. man looks at you, and I knew he'd put a stop to your ****ed up plan.” She got up from the table and came over. Deanna gently took my face between both her hands, holding my gaze with the strength of her own. “I can't lose you, woman. I'd be in a ****in' mental home if it weren't for you. I need you to listen to me; you need to stay and fight. You have people willing to fight at your side with you, or for you for that ****in' matter. Don't run. Please, please, don't run.” Tears formed in her eyes. I had never seen Deanna like this in all the years I'd known her.

I grabbed her in a tight hug, fighting my own tears. “Honey, you know that's not me. I can't have people fight my own battles.”

“We want to. If that's what'll keep you and Maya here, we will.”

“I know you do. I know, buttercup. And Talon, maybe. God only knows why. But Talon's boys?” I shook my head on her shoulder. “You know what dickface was like; if one of Talon's boys got hurt, or worse, because of me, I couldn't live with myself.”

“Lounge, now,” Talon's gruff voice ordered.

We pulled apart, wiping our faces, and saw Talon leaning against the doorframe. He had wet hair, jeans, and a black tee. How long had he been there? I wasn't sure. But God almighty, he looked good enough to eat.

Holding Out
Holding Out Page 11



“I hate you,” Deanna said to me before she left the room.

“And I hate you, too.” I smiled at her back as I followed her into the lounge. Finally, I knew she understood.

We both sat on my couch. Talon grabbed a kitchen chair, dragging it in to sit opposite us across the wooden chest. The front door opened, scaring the crap out of me, nearly causing me to jump in Deanna's lap. Griz stomped back in, but it didn't stop there; about ten other bikers walked in behind him. They made themselves comfortable standing or sitting where they could, while Deanna and I stared on with slack jaws.

What's going on?

“Man, I wish to **** I'd had a shower now before this,” Deanna grunted. I giggled. I would have felt the same way if I was still in the clothes I had on yesterday, and the massive bed hair she had going on. Still, she looked beautiful. The nut sucker.

“Kitten. Start explaining.” It wasn't a question, it was an order.

“What? Now?”

He rolled his eyes. “Yes, now.”

I looked around the room wondering why Talon wanted me to tell my sob story in front of so many badass bikers. However, I knew if I kicked up a stink, I'd end up regretting it, in one way or another.

“Kitten,” Talon growled.

“All right, all right. Gosh, you are damned bossy; has anyone ever told you that?”

“All the time,” he said. His boys laughed.

“Yeah, well, it'll only work on me so many times; in the end, you'll have no chance to get in my knickers.”

He smirked. The guys laughed again.

“I'm willing to think otherwise.” He grinned; then it disappeared. “We don't have all day, babe. Some of us have to work.”

I sat up straighter. “Speaking of which, I gotta call my boss. She'll be wondering where I am.”

“Already done,” Deanna said. I turned to her in time to see her shrug. “I said you wouldn't be in. She asked why; I told her to mind her own ****in' business.”

My hand went to my mouth. “You didn't.”

“She did,” Griz said.

“Jesus, Deanna—” I went to tell her off good and proper, but there was a knock on the door.

“Better not be another ****in' suitor,” Talon said through clenched teeth.

Pick was the closest to the door and opened it. I saw Warden's tall form over everyone’s heads. “I'm after Zara,” Warden barked.

“Who the **** are you?” Pick asked.

Talon stood, his fists clenched at his sides. I could read the look he was giving me: 'not another ****in' one.'

“None of your damned business.” Warden took a step forward and leaned down to get in Pick's face.

I stood quickly and waved over everyone. “Hey, Warden. Over here.” Out the corner of my mouth, I whispered to Talon, “I work with him.”

Warden stalked through the many bikers, came right up to me, and pulled me into a tight hug. I patted his back, and then waved Talon off when I saw him approach behind us.

“Get ya ****in' hands off her,” Talon growled.

Warden being Warden, how nothing phased him because he was big enough to take on all of them, simply ignored Talon. He pulled back from the hug and gently grabbed my face between his palms, then said, “Looks like we made it here in time.”

“We?”

“Violet's parking the car. She saw all the bikers comin' in and she told me to get my ass in here. Lucky I did. Now, what the hell's going on?”

“****!” Talon hissed. “You need to back the **** up or we're gonna have problems.”

Warden stiffened. He removed his hands, turned, and placed me directly behind him. He was trying to protect me. Awww, isn't that sweet? My co-worker likes me and we haven’t even been working together long.

The front door swung open, and there stood Violet in a fighting stance, holding a gun to the room. She kinda looked funny, not that I would tell her that. She's tiny; not only short, but she’s slim, with long black hair that was always in a ponytail, and dark green eyes. However she looked, I still knew not to mess with her. Honestly, it wouldn't surprise me if she shot someone and thought nothing of it.

“Who do I have to shoot first?”

See.

“Vi,” Talon said with a low voice. On hearing it, Violet stiffened; her eyes found him through the mountain of bikers (one that I wouldn't mind climbing) and she straightened.

“Brother,” she sneered her contempt.

What was that? Did I hear right? I think I went deaf there for a second and my mind made up its own word.

Violet walked into the room, kicked the door closed, holstered her gun, and strutted her way over to stand next to Warden.

“Really, Talon. I didn't expect you here. Zara's not your type—”

“That's what I said,” I added.

“She's too good for you.”

“Well, I don't know about that,” I shrugged.

“What the ****'re you doing here?” Deanna asked from still sitting on the couch.

By all means, Deanna, don't get up. There's going to be one hell of a fight. All. Because. Of. Me. But just sit back and enjoy the show, Deanna. Want some popcorn?

“Well, Barbie, I knew something was up when you and your foul mouth called. I know Zara isn't one to not call herself. So I had to pop in and find out what.”

“And you thought it had something to do with me, right?” Talon glared.

Holding Out
Holding Out Page 12



“Couldn't be too careful. Imagine my surprise when Zara walked into my office one day asking for a job, and I just happened to see her address on her resumé. I knew it was fate; it was up to me to keep an eye on her—from the likes of you. But look-see here; you've already got your claws into her. Now tell me what's going on?”

“Violet—” I started.

“Kitten,” Talon warned. I looked over to him; he shook his head and held his hand outstretched. “Come 'ere.”

Damn, this was a test. Like those ones people put on dogs when one master stood on one side of the room and the other on the opposite side and they both called the dog to see which one was the favorite master. Actually, you know what? That was a bad example. I was not the dog in this scenario.

But I did feel I had to choose, and my gut, head, and heart only had one answer.

I stepped around Warden and made my way to Talon. I placed my hand in his; he pulled me tightly against his side with a smirk on his lips.

I punched him in the side. “Don't go all Alpha on me and be a smartass. Violet, Warden, you may have different opinions of Talon, but he ain't all that bad. And now just finding out you're his sister, I'm sure you've got some stories to tell me.” I leaned forward and whispered, “I look forward to hearing them and getting some dirt on him.

“And sure he's as bossy as a ****head sometimes, but you've gotta look at his good side as well. Okay, it may be hard to find, and you have to really squint your eyes to see it, but it's there and I kinda like it.”

The room burst out laughing. Talon gripped my waist, so I looked up at him. He was smiling as he ran his knuckles down my cheek, and then proceeded to kiss me in front of everyone. There were some hoots and hollers.

His took his lips away from mine and I think I complained a bit, but then he whispered, “You'll pay for that ****head comment, kitten. And next time, do not say this crap in front of my boys. I'm a badass mother****er.”

He straightened and announced to the room. “Let’s get this **** sorted.”

“We're staying,” Violet said.

Talon gave her a chin lift and continued, “Kitten, sit down and start explaining...” Talon's phone rang. He answered it, and whatever he heard on the other end made his smile turn upside-down and he growled deep, “Bring the ****er in.”

A few seconds later, the front door opened and the young cookie-liking biker walked in, closely followed by Blue. I was shocked to see Blue was restraining a reluctant, dark, and handsome stranger.

“Blue?” I asked. Talon pulled me closer; both his arms wrapped around my waist.

Deanna stood up from the couch. “What’s going on now? I don't mind the entertainment, but it's startin' to get a bit much.” She turned her concerned eyes to me. I shook my head. This was as surprising to me as it was to her.

“Who the **** are you and why are you hounding around this house?” Talon asked the shocked-looking guy.

That said guy gasped, “Holy Mother Mary, I've hit the payload. No ****ing wonder he deserted me to come here. The bastard. Where is he? I'm going to cut off his *****.”

Blue shoved the guy hard, and he stumbled forward. It was obvious to everyone he wasn't a danger. Besides the fact that if he did—which I doubted—try anything, the house was already full of mean-looking people who’d take him down. But it was also a sense that he wouldn’t have the heart to hurt anyone.

He straightened, fixed his clothes on his lean body, turned to Blue, and glared. “Well, really. I like a bit of roughness, but only in bed, honey.”

Blue snapped, “**** off.”

I giggled; I couldn't help it. Blue turned a fierce glare on me, but my giggle also brought the attention of our guest.

“Well, spank me. You must be Zara.” He smiled.

My eyes widened. Talon stepped in front of me and said, “You do not speak to her or look at her, until you tell me who the **** you are.”

“Don't get you knickers in a bunch, love muffin.” He looked over Talon's shoulder to me. “He is lickably-‘licious, sweetheart.”

“I think I love this guy,” Deanna said.

He faced Deanna. “Thanks, doll, aren't you gorgeous too. I'm sure the feeling will be mutual.”

“****.” Talon made a beeline for the guy, who started backing up quickly.

“Whoa, hold up, Hercules. I'm just making friends here.”

“Tell me who the **** you are or my fist—”

“Julian?” The room turned to see a startled Mattie.

Talon stopped his pursuit and stalked back to me. His arms wound around my middle again.

“Hell, I think I just soiled myself.” Julian sighed.

“What are you doing here?” Mattie asked.

“Who is he?” Talon glared at Mattie.

“A...a friend.”

“Seriously, dickface? You forgot the boy in front of that friend. Or is it because you've found your sister and a house full of Chippendales that I'm suddenly a memory?”

Mattie, with an outstretched hand, said, “No, no. It's nothing like that.”

“Whatever,” Julian harrumphed, crossed his arms over his chest, and ignored my brother’s gaze.

“Oh, this is exciting.” I smiled and wiggled my way out of Talon's hold; I walked over to Julian. “It's so nice to meet you.” I hugged him. “Mattie only got here last night. I had a little breakdown, but I'm sure if that hadn't happened he would have told me all about you.”

Holding Out
Holding Out Page 13



“Well, aren't you just beautiful? Thank you, precious, and I'm so sorry for your loss. I understand Mattie wanting to find you and tell you himself, but to leave me behind? Nope.” He shook his head. “That just doesn't jive with me.” He leaned in and whispered, “I think he was worried how you’d take to him being gay.” He stood straighter and smiled. “But you're handling it just fine and dandy. Now tell me, cupcake, how in God's name have you got a house full of orgasmic men?”

I grinned and pointed to Talon. “That one thinks he has some claim on me because he stuck his tongue in my mouth yesterday. He's their head honcho.”

“**** me.” Talon looked to the ceiling.

“I'll take you up on that, Iron Man,” Julian said with a flutter of his eyelashes.

“Julian!” Mattie gasped. “Sorry! He’s sorry, he didn’t mean it.”

“Christ, enough. What the hell am I thinkin'?” Talon asked.

I put my hands on my hips and glared at him. “I certainly don't know. But, I can easily fix that and leave.”

“Say or think that one more time, I'll take you to bed and **** some sense into you.”

Julian squeaked beside me. “He sounds serious.”

I looked at Julian and rolled my eyes. “He probably is.”

“Everyone shut it. We need this **** sorted.”

“He's reeeeal bossy too,” I said to Julian.

“Kitten,” Talon growled.

“All right, jeepers.” I grabbed Julian's hand and led him over to the couch. The silently watching Violet and Warden moved to stand near Talon across from us.

Julian sat between Deanna and me, and Mattie breathed deeply and plopped himself on the edge of the couch.

“Hey, I'm Julian.” He held his hand out to Deanna.

“Deanna.” She gave him a chin lift.

“What's going down here?” Julian asked.

“Her P.P. man is waiting for an explanation on her past, and why she ****in' wants to up and leave ever since Mattie found her.”

Julian raised his hand yelling, “Oh, oh. I know why. 'Cause her crazy ex, right?”

Deanna nodded and went on. “So now, the idiot keeps getting in her pea brain head that it's best to just up and run to keep her and Maya safe as well as everyone else here.”

“Oh, shut up!” I glared. “You don't get it. No one does. If he finds me, someone will end up getting hurt. I'm—”

“Woman.” Everyone looked to Griz when he barked that one word. The other bikers who had been playing with their phones or quietly talking amongst themselves fell silent and stood straighter as if waiting for their queue. “That's why I left earlier. You may have a hard time coming to terms that you're Talon's woman, but once he claimed you, you became a part of Hawks. We take care of our own, and now, that means you. So don't **** around with thinkin' and worrying 'bout us. We live for this ****. We’ll protect you no matter what **** you dribble. Ain't that right, boys?”

A chorus of '**** yeah', 'Damn straight', and wolf calls echoed through my tiny house, which brought tears to my eyes.

I held up one hand. “But—”

Griz interrupted and said, “Shut ya gob and go with it; nothing you say will change anything. Now get the **** back to work.”

I realized he wasn't talking to me when the bikers started to disappear out the front door. Only a few stayed: Griz, Blue and Pick.

“Kitten, it's finally ****in' time to sort this ****.”

Me being my stubborn self shook my head. I thought if he didn't have the information, he couldn't go off half****ed and get him and his boys hurt.

“Okay, if you ain't talkin', I will,” Deanna yelled.

“Don't. You. Dare,” I hissed.

Violet cleared her throat. “If she doesn't, I will. You need to stay safe. And against all my better judgment, I think my brother can do that.”

“How do you know her ****?” Deanna snapped.

Vi crinkled her nose, raising her upper lip. “Barbie, I'm a PI; of course I done a check on her.”

“You suck, just like your brother.” I glared, crossed my arms over my chest, and slouched down in the couch.

“Just for that comment, I'll tell your whole frigging history.”

“Violet!”

“Nope.” She shook her head.

“Someone just ****in' start talkin',” Talon sighed. “Give me the info I need to keep my woman safe.”

Whoops, guessed he'd had enough.

Vi took a breath and began, “Zara Edgingway was actually born Zara Alexander. She accidentally told me her last name when she came in, and I realized it was different from the one on her resumé. Zara grew up in Manly, NSW with her parents and her brother Matthew. She graduated high school. But then she met David Goodwill when she was working at Starbucks. He charmed her into believing he was a good, caring guy. They married young, but—”

I couldn't look at anyone. David had suckered me into his fairytale, and now my whole life was being aired like some leather-fetished grandma.

“—unbeknownst to Zara, David Goodwill dealt with the Mob on the side of his club business. He's also dabbled in drugs, selling women, and guns. He's one evil mother****er.”

Fruit basket! I knew he was bad, but not like that.

Holding Out
Holding Out Page 14



“Why'd you leave him, Zara?”

Oh, that hurt. No kitten, but Zara. I couldn't tell him the real reason. I was already Zara; if he really knew the truth, the filth, what would I become then? Nothing. So I shook my head and lied, “I found out what he did.”

“Zee,” Deanna uttered. I caught her gaze with my own pleading eyes. She sat back and said nothing.

Something shattered. I gasped and looked up to see that Talon had thrown a vase to the ground, one that had been near the television. “Don't ****in' lie to me!”

“Talon.” Blue barked.

“I'm not, and don’t throw my stuff around,” I said with my head held high.

“Two years I've waited for you to come to me. I've been waiting and watching, Zara. I know you; I know when you're angry, when you're sad, upset, worried, happy, horny, and ****in' lyin'. Tell me the truth. Why did you leave him?”

My bottom lip trembled. Goddamn him for saying that **** to me. The ass wasn’t allowed to say nice stuff. I was gonna have to ban it from the house.

This could work, though. If I told him, he'd move on. Let me go. It would hurt, but it'd be for the best.

Standing, I glared at him, my fists clenched at my sides and yelled, “You really wanna know? I'd had enough of his beatings—” The room was eerily quiet except from Julian's gasp, “—but what topped it off, what had me call Deanna in the middle of the night and escape, was when he came home drunk, beat me, and then raped me!” I pounded my chest.

Um, maybe I shouldn't have yelled. Talon's own hands were clenched; he was breathing deeply through his nose. A mountain of rage filled the room, and I was pretty sure I'd have witnessed lasers shoot out of his eyes if Griz didn't start ordering.

“****! Deanna, take Zara to her room. Gay guys, PI's, go with them.” Blue and Griz ran across the room and grabbed Talon's arms. “Go now,” he growled.

Vi, Warden, and Mattie were already heading down the hall. Deanna grabbed my hand; Julian took the other one, and dragged me along with them. We'd gotten my door shut before a roar of fury filled the house. “I'm gonna ****ing kill that mother****er! Let. Me. Go.”

The boys must have let go because the next thing we heard was things being thrown around.

“Talon, get the **** outside,” Blue yelled.

We listened to the front door being snapped open, hitting the wall.

“Clean this ****; we'll calm him,” Griz said to someone.

Moments later, the rumble of Harleys started and took off down the street.

“Well, honey, pumpkin skin, I think I can honestly say I have never seen this much action in all my life. I love it here. Mattie, we're moving.” Julian smiled from where he sat next to me on the bed.

“That was ****in'...wow. I have never seen a man that...super angry before. Hot or what?” Deanna gleamed with excitement. She was sitting on the other side of me.

Still, Deanna and I both knew we’d seen others that angry before, but this was a totally different situation. We knew that no harm would come from said super angry person. It was actually funny how un-scared I was, especially with what my past had detailed. In fact, I was anything but scared; what I felt was nauseous and sad that I had upset Talon in any way.

“So hot I think I came in my pants. Sorry, honey,” Julian said. Mattie smiled and nodded in agreement, then patted Julian's leg.

“Hot-frigging-headed. He's always been like that,” Vi said, shaking her head. She and Warden were standing in front of the door.

“Maybe...maybe he'll leave me alone now,” I uttered.

“Oh, here the **** we go. Where is that mushed up brain of yours leading you?” Deanna asked.

“Now he knows.”

“What, Zara?” Mattie asked.

“He knows I'm not good for him. I'm filthy.”

“****” Warden hissed, opened the door, and left.

“Too much girl talk for him, I'm guessin',” Julian smiled. “And Zara, my potato pie. From what I just witnessed and heard, Talon is far from done with you. You ain't filthy, girl; that pubic hair flossing ex of yours is as good as dead. You are much loved here, woman, and if it ain't you or Deanna or Talon doing the killing, you're going to have many others stepping forward to fulfill that job. That ****tard should never have laid a harmful hand on you. He's gonna pay, poptart. No matter what you say. And Talon will be at your side through all this hell to come. Everyone can see the hard-on he has for you.”

“Alright, while my brother goes off to cool his jets, I need information. First, why are you so interested in running off half-baked? Which will probably get you into more trouble than before,” Violet asked, nearly looking as angry as Talon had.

“Someone would have followed Mattie. I need to get out of here before they show up, or dickhead gets here himself.”

“Not that she's sure Mattie was followed; if anything, they would have followed Julian,” Deanna said. “****,” She uttered when she saw my wide eyes of worry.

“You're safer here than anywhere else in the world. Talon will go to great lengths to keep you that way. As you can see and have heard a million times, Zara, it's not only him; I'm sure Barbie would as well. Then you have me and the guys.”

I rolled my eyes. “That right there is why I have to go.”

“You're scared; that's all it is. You're not really thinking.”

Holding Out
Holding Out Page 15



I bounced down to the end of the bed, my flabby belly having a party with all the jiggling at the same time. It must have looked like a treat, but I was pissed. I got up and in Violet's face.

“Of course I'm scared,” I hissed. “If a man like that was after you, wouldn't you be? And I am thinking as straight as Talon in a gay bar.”

Julian chuckled behind me. “I'd like to see that.”

“Oh, no, no. In a gay stripper club,” Deanna added.

“Shh, you guys,” Mattie ordered.

Vi glared and said, “No. You. Aren't. If you were, you'd know that this was the right choice, here with us all. Not only the right choice for you, but for Maya. Think, Zara. If you're out there on your own, running for your life, what are you going to tell Maya? How are you really going to keep her safe? You'll be by yourself.”

I teetered back. “I...I don't know.”

“I understand the urge to run. I do. But it won't help. It's time to trust the people around you, to lean on them for help when they're so willing to do just that. No matter what may come of the situation.”

I gracefully–not–flopped back on the bed. Damn, she was right.

All I wanted was to run, to keep everyone safe, but I hadn't been thinking clearly. Maya was the highest priority, and it hadn’t dawned on me that she'd need more than just me to keep her protected from her cuckoo father. Even if the thought of having others involved in my stuffed-up situation still sent me into panic mode and wanting to sit in the corner sucking my thumb, I needed to stop, take a breath, and think.

I sat up straight and turned to Mattie. “You have to leave before things get ugly.”

“If,” Deanna said.

Mattie smiled. “We're family and I've only just gotten you back in my life—”

Julian interrupted, “Oh, my Gawd, I'm gonna cry. This is one of those Hallmark moments.” He sniffed.

Mattie rolled his eyes. “And I've had my fair share of ugly in my life, so I'm kind of used to it.”

“You better not be referring to me, sac-sucker.”

Deanna laughed. “I love that one, sac-sucker. I'm going to have to use it.”

“Make sure to use it on a straight guy. Lordy, that would be funny.”

Deanna turned to me. “So, you're staying?”

“Yeah.”

“You're a ****ing miracle worker, but I still don't like you.” Deanna glared at Violet.

“And you think I care.” She turned her bored gaze to Julian. “I have a question for you, though. How'd you know Mattie was here?”

“I'd overheard the convo' he'd had with that friend of his who saw Zara down this way. Knew Mattie would leave it for a while and wouldn't approach his sis, so I started to do a little homework myself. Knew my home girl had a little munchkin, and her name. Found the **** I was after on the World Wide Web.”

“And you didn't tell me because...”Mattie's wild eyes told me he was a little annoyed by the fact Julian hadn’t said anything.

“Oh, I knew one day you'd sneak off without telling me, on a mission to get to her and not tell her where you'd prefer your dick to lay every night. Of course, I knew if I showed up she'd love me, and in the end wouldn't judge you. Which is how it all worked out.”

“Still should have informed me,” Mattie mumbled.

“Your ex doesn't know anything about Maya, right?” Vi asked me as she moved away from the door.

“Yeah,” I said.

“That there is great news. He shouldn't be able to find you the way Veronica Mars here did.”

“Oh, I'll take that; Veronica is hot.” Julian clapped.

“So what do we do?”

My door swung open, revealing Warden; his eyes met Violet’s. “Done a sweep. Nothin' out there; your bro already has men on the lookout.” His eyes then fell on me. “Got his number from that wanker out there—”

“**** you,” Pick yelled from the front room.

“Rang your man; told him what you said—”

“Warden!” I yelled.

“On ya, dude.” Deanna laughed.

“Goodness.” Julian breathed.

“****,” Mattie uttered.

“He's on his way back.” Just as he said that, we heard the ***y rumble of the Harleys. My heart rate sky- rocketed, and I was ready to run and hide in my closet. But for some reason, I thought the people in the room would have told him where I was. The hairy-ass-rat-faces.

Quickly scooting back down to the end of the bed where Deanna and Julian were sitting, I placed myself in the middle. We all listened to the front door being opened, heavy footsteps coming down the hall, and then Warden moved away from the doorway as Talon filled it. I gulped and gripped Julian and Deanna's hands. Deanna snorted, let go of my hand, and moved from the bed.

“That's it; you are no longer my best friend. Let it be known I am now taking interviews to fill her spot,” I told the group.

She rolled her eyes at me. “Whatever.”

“Oh, oh. I'll take you up on that. I want a girl bestie, and I'll stand by your side, snookums.” Julian squeezed my hand. I grinned at him. Talon growled low in his throat. “O-o-or not. Later, gator.” Julian moved quickly from the bed, gave me an apologetic smile, and said to Mattie, “Come on, hun. I think Thor wants alone time.”

Holding Out
Holding Out Page 16



My arms went up in the air. “What the hell?” I cried and let my arms fall back down.

The bedroom door closed, Talon stood leaning against it watching me. I wondered if I'd start whistling and looking around the room, he'd get the hint I wasn't ready for any type of conversation. Or it could just make him unhappier, because he looked very...annoyed? Probably option two, so I refrained from whistling.

“So-o-o,” I said.

“Tell me what your mate said wasn't true?”

“Depends on what he told you.” I went for a sweet smile, raised eyebrows.

He glared. “That you'd ****in' think I'd leave you because of what had happened to you?”

Crap.

“Uh, maybe. But really, let's look at this.” I tapped my chin. “There isn't really anything to leave because we aren't really together.”

He stiffened. I gulped and sat straighter.

“Now isn't the time for ****in' games. I take a hike to cool my anger, because I just found out my woman-” he clipped, “- had been beaten and raped by her so called ex; and then some dick calls and informs me my woman is in her room looking scared ****less, and wondering if her man would think she's filth.” He took a step closer.

“What do I have to do to prove this is happening between us? I want this, and I know you want this, no matter what crap you spew.” He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Upon opening them he said, “You need me to claim your body now; is that it? If I have my dick in you, will you get that this is happening between us?” With one swoop, he removed his tee and threw it to the floor.

I tried to back up into the headboard of my bed. Waving my arms out in from of me, I perved, drooled, and yelled, “Whoa, hold up there. W-what are you doing?” Oh my God, I've died and gone to bad-boy heaven.

A thought of David advancing on me like Talon was, flashed through my mind.

A normal person could have been petrified in this type of situation. But I wasn't. I had also watched and listened to Talon for many years. I knew he talked rough, and his actions screamed scary badass biker, but I also knew he treated women with care. No matter what he said, what he implied or had done, he would never hurt me physically or mentally.

“Proving to you that I want you. That no matter what your past is, I still want your hot body. You ****in' drive me insane, kitten. No one else would I let do that to me. No one, kitten, but you.” He was at the end of the bed now. My eyes nearly popped out of my head when he popped the button on his jeans.

My heart pounded against my chest. Every word, rude or not, warmed me throughout.

Still, I stuttered through my nerves, “W-wait. Holy hell—uh, wait. Put your tee on for a sec—” I covered my eyes with a hand.

“Holy ****, he's got his top off,” Julian gasped behind my bedroom door.

“****, that guy moves fast,” Deanna said.

“What are you two doing?” Mattie fake-whispered. The door rattled.

“I just want to see,” Julian whined.

“See?” I moved my hand and pointed to the door. “We have an audience.”

“Everyone better **** off before I kill them all.”

“I think he's serious,” Julian said.

“We're not waiting around to find out,” Mattie said.

“**** it,” Deanna complained.

Talon knelt on the end of the bed. The sight of him, of his muscles flexing, sent a zing to the right spot.

Still, I said, “Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold up there, slugger. I can't perform now thinking of them out there.”

What was wrong with me; why was I stopping this? Scared. Not of him though, of me, of falling into what he had me feeling already.

“It's fine, kitten. I'll do all the work. This time.”

“Wait! What's the time?” I looked over to my alarm clock on my bedside table. “Oh, look-see, it's two. I have to pick Maya up from school soon. We'll-uh, have to get back to this another time.” I nodded.

“We'll be quick.” He gave me a small smile and a wink.

“No. I-uh, have a headache,” I said, rubbing at my forehead.

“I'll make it better.” He smirked, grabbed my ankles, and pulled me so I was flat on my back.

“Hang on. Goddamn it, Talon. Wait.” I crossed my arms over my chest and glared at him as he spread my willing legs, the hussy traitors, and moved to kneel in between them. “I just realized I'm still ****ty with you.”

“You'll get over it.” His hands went to each side at my waist.

“Talon. We need to talk,” I breathed as he made his way up my body until he was leaning over me. His strong arms blocked my head in, with his crotch resting against mine and my drenched panties. I closed my eyes and prayed for some resistance. It was so flipping hard! The resistance and him.

Yum.

I opened my eyes. God, he was gorgeous.

“You have a son?”

He closed his own eyes and cursed. “Really, you want to do this now, kitten?”

“Yep,” I whispered.

No! My naughty bits screamed.

He thrust his hardness into the right spot. “Oh, hell,” I moaned and wished my clothes and his would vanish.

“Just tell me one thing before I give in to you,” he whispered.

“Um. Okay.” I nodded.

“You want this, between me and you?”

****.

“Uh...Oh.” He thrust against me again.

Holding Out
Holding Out Page 17



Damn it, clothes, begone!

“Tell me, kitten,” he said and kissed my temple. “Tell me,” he ordered and kissed my nose.

Dear God.

“Oh, all right.” I sighed. He smiled a smile of pure satisfaction. The prick. And then rolled to my side, bringing me flush against him.

“What do you want to know about Cody?”

Okay, clothes, you can stay. “Everything,” I uttered. Like, who the heck was his mum, and were you still seeing her?

“He's a smart kid, quiet, but I think he'll grow outta that soon. His mum and I don't have the best relationship. We used to; we were wild together.”

A pang of jealousy hit me.

He picked up a strand of my hair and tugged it gently. Then scoffed and said, “Then she turned into a bitch. She had friends and family that saw themselves as better than anyone else. And eventually, taught her I was scum. After Cody was born, she left; said she didn't want him growin' up around me and the way I live. Funny thing though, she used to live this way as well and loved it. So now she's livin' the high, fancy ****ed life with her new man.”

I shouldn't have asked. To me it sounded as though he still had feelings for her. It hurt.

I cleared my throat. “Uh, what did Cody mean last night, that she was busy?”

“They had some friends over. Cody hates it. They always want him locked in his ****in' room. I'm sure he came over just to piss her off. Can't say I blame him.”

Poor Cody.

“It seemed to me he'd like to stay with you.”

He went up onto one elbow and looked down at me. “And I'd have him. But she won't have it. I've tried. I fought her, been through the courts. They always take one ****in' look at me and say 'hell no'.” He took my hand in his, fingers entwined.

“Um, are you still getting weekends with him?”

He nodded. “Every second. This one comin'.”

“Good. I'd like to get to know him.”

Something flared in his eyes as he looked at me. I liked what I saw, but I couldn't trust it. He still loved his ex. The mother of his child.

“He and I would ****in' love that. Now—” He looked over his shoulder to the clock. “We still got time, kitten, to fool around.”

“Uh, no.”

He arched one brow. Am I the only loser who can't do that? “Kitten,” he whispered.

“This, uh, shouldn't happen between us.”

“Christ. What is going on now? You'd just said you're—”

“Wait. That wasn't me talking; that was...ah, my...um, fandola.”

“You're ****in' what?”

“You know. My—” with my eyes I gestured to my privates, “—down there.”

He smiled, and then burst out laughing. “**** me. You can't even say *****, vagina, cu-”

I jumped him and placed my hand over his mouth. Which brought me to lie across him. His arm tightened around my waist. “No. That word is not to be used in this house.” I glared.

He grinned behind my hand, his eyes turning warm.

“And anyway, we can't have anything between us when you still love your ex.”

****, ****, ****. I shouldn't have said that. His eyes turned hard and scary. I thanked the high heaven when his phone chose that moment to ring. He sat up; I landed back on the bed.

“What?” he hissed. “Right.” He hung up and turned toward me, leaning down so our noses just touched.

Damn it, I should have taken that time to bolt for the door.

“I don't know where you got that ****ed up idea in your head, but it had better be gone when I get back.”

“Um.”

“No. No ‘um’; I do not still love that bitch. If I did, I wouldn't be pursuing you so I could have your nice piece of ass in my bed. I don't play games, kitten. Now, kiss me.”

“Huh?”

“Kiss me, kitten. I have to go deal with ****.”

“Uh, I have to go get Maya.”

“I know that. So ****in' hurry up and kiss me and I'll see you tonight for dinner.”

“What?”

“Dinner, I assume you eat it. I'll be over 'bout six.”

“But Maya will be here.”

“I also know that, babe. She’s gotta get used to the idea of us two; may as well start tonight, and then she can meet Cody when I get him tomorrow after school.”

“But—”

“**** it, you're takin' too long.” Then he kissed me a toe-curling, pantie-dripping, tongue-bathing kiss. He pulled back and leaned his forehead against mine. “I reckon you'll be worth it. See ya tonight, kitten.” And then he left.

What in the hell just happened?

I had no time to process anything. As soon as Talon left, my door swung open and in piled Deanna, Mattie and Julian, holding a plate of crackers, cheese, and dip. While we ate, I told them what went down.

“Oh my ****in' God,” Deanna said when I got to the part about him coming back for tea, and Maya, and Cody, and every—freaking out—thing.

“I know, I know.” I sighed and paced the room while munching on some crackers. “He thinks it's time to play family. I haven't even slept with the guy. What happens if he's no good, or he thinks I'm no good and runs a—”

“Shut the **** up,” Deanna said in her most mild-mannered way from where she sat on my bed, once again.

Holding Out
Holding Out Page 18



I was really starting to get sick of people telling me to shut up.

“You are both gonna rock each other’s world; no doubt about that ****. And I reckon he's right. If he don't step up and get the kids involved, you'll run a ****in' mile scared outta ya brain again.”

Oh, that was low, and cunning, and how come I never thought of it that way?

“I think, hun, what this chica meant when she said 'oh my Gawd’, was regarding you thinkin' Captain America still loves his ex.” Julian smiled from the bed.

“Oh.”

“Yeah, oh—” Deanna began until I held up my hand.

“Before you start telling me what an idiot I am, can we leave it, 'cause I have to go get Maya?”

“You know I would have said more than idiot, but I shall delay my knocking some sense into your dumb-witted brain until later. Let’s scat people; we got a devil-child to pick up.”

I rolled my eyes. Maya wasn't a devil child; she was just born thirty and smarter than Deanna most times.

“Hey, where'd Vi and Warden get to anyway?” I asked as I exited my room.

“Some PI crap. Said they'd catch ya sometime. Oh,and don't come in to work tomorrow since it’s Friday. Start back Monday,” Deanna informed me.

I turned to face her once we were in the lounge room. “That's nice of her. But I need to keep my mind occupied, and work will do that.”

“I'm sure Gladiator will keep you busy enough tomorrow.” Julian grinned and then looked to Mattie and back to me saying, “Hey, nut crackers, how 'bout you two go, and we'll make a start on dinner.” Julian did some weird gesture with his eyes.

It took me a second to figure out what he was meaning. But then it clicked, Mattie was nervous about meeting Maya for the first time. Of course, it was better to have that moment between just the family. I smiled and nodded my understanding. Actually, I was excited to bring Maya home to meet her uncle. She’d seen photos of him from when he was younger, but I didn’t have any recent ones. I wondered if she would recognize him.

A pang of hurt hit me.

How was I going to explain to my six-year-old that she'd never get to meet her grandparents? I knew it would be harder for me to tell her than what it would be for her to hear.

Oh, God.

Before I was allowed to wallow in worry, Deanna pulled me toward the door and reminded me of yet another situation to worry about.

“Don't forget Zee's human vibrator will be joining us tonight.”

Spotting Maya in a crowd was easier than getting Deanna not to swear. Honestly, many things were a lot easier than stopping Deanna from cussing. Maya came bounding our way with a big smile on her face and her long, dark, curly locks tied in a ponytail on top of her head.

I looked behind me at our tail. Talon had obviously asked Pick to follow us wherever we had to go. He was standing a few paces away, leaning against a car, waiting and watching. All Deanna wanted to do was go to the drug store and pick up some condoms, tampons, and pads, then call out to Pick and ask him if they were all okay. Thankfully, we didn't have time.

“Hi, Momma. Aunty Deanna. Guess what we learned today?” Maya grinned as she reached us and handed me her backpack to carry.

“Let me guess, that all boys have cooties?” Deanna asked. I smacked the back of her head.

“No-o-o.”

“Your two times tables?” I asked, as we made our way home with Maya skipping beside us. And Pick following; I didn't understand why he wasn't just walking with us. On the way to school I went to ask him, but before I even had a chance to take a step toward him, he barked out a 'no' and 'keep walking.'

Maya turned to me so I could see her eye roll. “Ma, I learned that in prep. You're never gonna guess, so I'll tell you. Do you know what lots of geese are called?”

“No, baby, I don't.”

“A gaggle.”

“Wow,” Deanna said dully.

“What about asses?” Maya asked.

Deanna laughed; I hid mine with a cough. “I think you mean donkeys.”

“That's what Mrs. Faith said, too. But Donny said they're also called asses, and 'cause she's a teacher she can't lie; so I asked if that was true and she said yes. So do you know what a group of them are?”

“Men,” Deanna muttered.

I shook my head at her and said to Maya, “No, I don't have a clue.”

“A pace.”

“That's interesting stuff, Maya. I'm glad you learned something today.”

“Me too. So what's for dinner, Mum?”

Was every child on the face of the planet programmed to ask that question after school? I think they were.

“Not sure just yet. But I have a surprise for you,” I said as we walk up the front steps to the porch.

“Oh, what, what?”

I opened the front door; there was some noise coming from the kitchen, and then Mattie and Julian came running around the corner, excitement and concern held within their eyes.

I gave Maya time to dissect the newcomers. She looked from one to the other, and then to me with a smile upon her sweet face.

“That's my uncle, right?” She pointed to Mattie, who was grinning from ear-to-ear. Julian's hand went to his mouth; tears welled in his eyes.

“Yes, sweetie. That's my brother, Mattie, your uncle. And with him is Julian, Mattie's partner.”

Mattie's shocked eyes rose to mine. He was worried about me telling Maya he was gay, but I already knew it wouldn't phase her.

Holding Out
Holding Out Page 19



“Cool,” she said, and walked over to Mattie. He bent to hug her, but she reached out first and placed her hand upon his cheek. “You got Mum's eyes. That's how I knew.” Her smile grew. “Hi, Uncle Mattie.” She wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him tight.

I pulled my lips into a tight line to hold back my own emotions.

“Well, ain't this ducking grand,” Deanna said beside me. “I hate emotional sh...stuff.” I watched her wipe away a tear and laughed. “Flock off, you.” She glared at me.

We both looked back to Maya as she stood in front of Julian. “Can I call you my uncle, too?”

Julian looked to the ceiling and back down to Maya. “Oh, sweet honey dew, of course you can.” They hugged.

I was leaning against the kitchen bench, watching Julian and Deanna sitting at the table arguing about some answers for Maya's homework. Maya was sitting with them, and doing a good job of ignoring them both and continuing her way through it. Not that there was a lot anyway, some reading and spelling words. She was only six, for goodness sakes. Mattie was busy next to me, finishing off the casserole for tea that he'd prepared earlier.

Seeing this made me feel happy, yet sad. I loved to watch people; I was a watcher from way back, and what I was seeing was that I finally had a house full of family that I loved.

Only I was never going to see my parents again, and that hurt.

“All right, people, clear the table.” Mattie's raised voice made me jump. “And don't worry, Maya honey, I'll help you later, so you’ll have all the right answers.” He grinned. Maya sighed in relief and nodded at her uncle.

“School sucks anyway, kiddo,” Deanna said. “You should just quit; become an actress and support your mum and me for the rest of our lives.”

“Deanna,” I warned.

“Don't listen to her, sugar plum. School is great. Learning is better, so then you can get a high paying job and then support us all.” Julian winked at Maya, who giggled in return. I rolled my eyes and thanked the high heaven that Maya knew they were talking nonsense.

The table had been cleared of schoolwork when the front door opened, and I froze with knives and forks in my hands. All of us turned to the kitchen doorway to see Talon in his godly form walk in.

“Talon!” Maya chirped.

While my woman bits chirped for him.

Maya ran at him; he lifted her up and twirled her around. Not something you'd see a hardcore biker do every day.

“Maya, you been good today?” he asked after he placed her feet back on the floor.

“I'm always good, Talon. What'cha doin' here?”

Talon raised his eyes to me, questioning me in his silent way on what I'd told her. I chose to glance at a spot on the kitchen roof and bite my bottom lip.

Is that a growl coming from him? ****.

“I came to have a word with your momma. Could ya give us a minute?” We all knew that wasn't a question. He stalked over to me, grabbed the knives and forks out of my hands, placed them behind me, then took my wrist and pulled me from the room, down the hall, and into my bedroom.

Before he closed my door, we heard Maya squeal and announce to the people in the kitchen, “I hope he's going to kiss her. They're always lookin' at each other with yucky, love eyes.” They burst out laughing. Talon closed the door and faced me with a smirk.

“Talon—”

“No, kitten. Even your daughter can see something has been going on between us for a while now. All I want to know is what you’re going to tell her?”

I raised my hands up and down, my eyes bugging out of my head—not a pretty look. “What am I supposed to tell her?”

“That you're m'woman and I'm your man. That she'll be seein' a lot more of me around 'ere.”

I sat on the edge of the bed and looked at the floor. This was it. I was going to have to be honest. “It's not that simple, Talon. I'm not one of your bimbos that you can screw over. I need stability for Maya and me. I need long term—”

“Seriously, Zara,” he clipped. “If I thought you were just some bimbo to warm my ****in' dick for the night, I wouldn't be here. Hell,” he rumbled. In the next second, he was on his knees in front of me. With one finger under my chin he raised my head. Our eyes met. My heart skipped a beat.

I was about to have a heart attack.

I watched him lick his lips, and then those lips turned into a smirk because he knew I was watching them.

“I really hate this talkin' ****. I want you as my woman. Long-****in'-term. I know we still got a lot’ta **** we need to learn 'bout one another, but that's the best part. For once in my life, I'll try to be patient, for you.”

Oh my flipping God.

Was Talon worth risking my heart being broken?

Especially now?

Did I trust him?

****. Heck. Dick—yes Talon's.

“Okay,” I whispered.

His eyes flared; he let out a breath, and he smiled a burn-your-eyes-out-'cause-it-was-so-hot smile. One I had never seen before on his lickable mouth.

Then, thank the high heaven, his mouth was on mine. Demanding and sensual, I was all too willing to comply with whatever his needs were. My hands curled into his hair, pulling him closer; his groan of approval made me smile. One of his hands traced from my hip up to my breast.

****, did he just press a magic nipple-button to send a wave of lust down to my core?