[Truyện Tiếng Anh] The Next Sin

The Next Sin
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I see the terror in his eyes. “No. Not both of my daughters.”

“Mr. MacAllister. I can protect Bleu. And Ellison.”

“In exchange for what?” He’s suspicious of my motives, as he should be.

“Bleu’s hand in marriage.”

“Never!”

“I’m pledging my life to your daughter’s safety and happiness. You know who I am so I’m certain you understand that as my wife, no one can harm Bleu. It’s Fellowship code—something none of us dare violate. The grace of safety our marriage will provide also blankets Ellison because she’s Bleu’s family. My uncle will be forced to call off his order to execute Bleu the moment I tell him we’ve married.”

“Are you here to ask for my blessing?”

“Yes, sir. That’s exactly why I’ve come.”

“You’re asking me to be okay with my daughter marrying the leader of a criminal organization. How does a father give his blessing for something like that?” he asks.

“You give it because you love your daughter and want her to be safe and happy.”

“And you believe being married to you will make her happy?”

He’s not convinced so I need to change his mind. “I proposed to Bleu two days ago and she said yes. We spent all day yesterday preparing for our wedding tomorrow.”

He’s hurt. I see it in his eyes. “She’s going to marry you tomorrow without telling me?”

“Yes. But only because she believes you won’t approve. She doesn’t want you to be disappointed with her for marrying me.”

“I will never be all right with her marrying into a family of criminals.”

I must make him understand how things will be for Bleu as my wife. “Bleu will never be tainted by my business or The Fellowship. I swear this to you.”

“She’ll live among you. It’s not possible for her to not be touched by your criminal activities.”

He may need reminding that Bleu isn’t coming into our marriage untainted. She’s no angel. “Bleu came into my life because she had made the decision to commit murder. She came to kill my dad for a crime he didn’t commit.”

“And what has become of that? Your father—the leader of The Fellowship—couldn’t have possibly forgotten her motive for infiltrating your organization. He must be as eager as your uncle to get rid of her.”

He’s wrong. “Not at all. Bleu was mistaken about Dad being her mother’s killer. He loved Amanda Lawrence very much so Bleu holds a dear place in his heart. He wants to protect her. She’s in good standing with my father.”

“She would have Thane’s protection as well?”

“Yes. My parents are quite fond of Bleu, as are the other members of The Fellowship.” With the exception of Abram. “She was initiated into the brotherhood months ago. They welcomed her with open arms. None of the members, not even my uncle, know about her plot to kill my father. I’ve told no one.”

“You would keep that secret from your family and the people you are most loyal to so she would remain safe?”

“Absolutely. I’ll always do what I must to protect her.”

“Do you know who killed Amanda?”

“Not yet. But I promised Bleu I would help her find out.” It’s a promise she’ll hold me to.

“There’s no way it wasn’t one of your people or someone tied to you.”

I don’t like his theory but it holds water. “I agree.”

“She’s a good detective. She isn’t going to stop until she finds out who he is.”

“Aye. You’re right.”

“I know my daughter well. When she figures out which Fellowship member is her mother’s killer, she’ll go after him. She won’t stop until he’s dead. That puts her in danger, regardless of her position as your wife.” Again, he’s right. The Fellowship won’t let the death of one of our own go unpunished.

“They won’t hesitate to kill her.” He stares at me intently. “But they’d never consider killing you—their leader.”

I understand where he’s going with this.

“You’re asking me to approve of your union with my daughter. There’s only one way that’ll happen. Give me your word as a Fellowship member that you’ll be the one to take out the man who killed her mother. I’ll give you my blessing to marry my daughter, that is if marriage is what she wants.”

This is a good move for Harold MacAllister. He sees my marriage to Bleu for what it is—something completely out of his control. It’s going to happen with or without his approval so he’s making the most of it. He’s a dying man preying upon my code of honor to ensure his daughter’s safety. I respect that.

“I swear on my honor that I will be the one to carry out penance against Amanda Lawrence’s killer. Bleu won’t have a part in it.”

“You should expect that to be a fight. She’ll want to be the one to do it.”

“I expect nothing less than a battle out of her, but you have my word.”

“I believe you. But I need to talk to my daughter before I give you my blessing. And judging by the number of times your phone has buzzed, she should be arriving any minute.”

He’s right. It’s been a near constant vibration against my chest since the moment Ellison walked out the door. That means she called Bleu immediately.

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I’m imagining her in the car freaking out on the drive here.

I hope she doesn’t have one of her fits. She thinks she lied her way out of it but that was no dream I witnessed in Edinburgh. I know a PTSD attack when I see one. They aren’t pretty. And that’s something we’ll need to get out in the open soon.

“Maybe you should call her to say all is well so she isn’t distracted on the drive here.” He’s her father so naturally he’s concerned for her safety.

“She won’t be behind the wheel. My men will drive her. She’s never out of our sight.”

The door bursts open a few minutes later. Bleu is breathless and pale. She looks back and forth between her father and me. “Someone tell me what’s happening here.”

Harold lifts his hand and motions for Bleu to sit on his bed. “Come here, girlie girl.”

Bleu shoots daggers in my direction as she crosses the floor. If looks could kill, I wouldn’t just drop dead, I’d be six feet under.

“Mr. Breckenridge. I need a moment alone with my daughter, please.”

“Of course.”

I open the door and come face to face with Ellison doing her best to eavesdrop—apparently unsuccessful since she didn’t hear her father’s request for me to step out. “Hello again.”

“Hello.”

I lean against the wall. “I’m Sinclair Breckenridge.”

“I gathered as much.” She offers her hand. “I suppose it’s safe to assume you know who I am.”

“Aye, I do.”

She leans against the opposite wall, arms crossed. She’s staring me down. “You have my sister flipping the **** out.”

“I gathered as much.”

“What the hell have you done?” She’s wearing a huge grin. “I’ve never seen my sister so out of control. She’s acting like a lunatic.”

I don’t want to say anything I shouldn’t. “Long story. Probably best for you to ask her.”

“Maybe so, but I’m asking you instead. Bleu isn’t exactly forthcoming. Especially when it comes to her emotions.”

“I’m fairly certain her feelings are ones of anger right now, based on the look she was giving me as I left the room.”

“Good. Bleu needs someone to piss her off. At least it’s a reaction.”

I think she may be suggesting Bleu is unfeeling but I don’t see her in that light at all.

“You came all the way from Scotland to see her?”

“Aye.”

“Is that because you love her?”

“I do. Very much.” I’m not in a place where I want to discuss my relationship with Ellison. That’s for Bleu to explain so I decide it’s best to steer the conversation in a different direction. “Bonny tells me you’re a nurse?”

“Bonny?”

I laugh. “It means beautiful.”

“****! I may swoon.” She shakes her head and laughs. “Sorry. Yes, I am a nurse.”

“Your medical knowledge must be an asset with your father being ill.”

“I’m not so sure. Sometimes I wish I didn’t know what was happening.” Her face looks pained. “I envy Bleu’s inability to see the reality.”

“How much longer do you think he has?”

“Not long. Maybe a week. Tops.”

Bonny is going to be a mess. But she’ll have me to help her through her loss. “Will you tell her?”

“No. I can’t bring myself to do it.” Ellison shakes her head. “Those two are thick as thieves. You should probably know that she isn’t going to do well when he goes.”

Ellison and I discuss Harold MacAllister’s health until Bleu opens the door. Her eyes are swollen. Her face, red and blotchy. “He wants to see us together.”

“Good luck, dude,” Ellison says.

I follow Bleu into Harold’s room, shutting the door behind me. I want to reach for my Bonny Bleu’s hand but I’m afraid it isn’t wise. She’s angry with me. I see it all over her face.

I will have a lot of explaining to do when we leave.

“My daughter is very unhappy with you right now, Mr. Breckenridge.”

“I never dreamed she wouldn’t be.” I look at her. “But it’s my greatest hope she’ll understand the reason behind my action. And maybe eventually agree it was the only honorable and right thing to do.”

“I don’t know if you’ll get that out of her.” Harold MacAllister laughs. “Regardless of her anger and despite the hit your uncle has issued, she tells me she’s in love with you and wants to be your wife.”

I’m very pleased to know Bonny has declared her feelings for me to her father. Another step in the right direction.

“Bleu insisted on infiltrating The Fellowship and it didn’t go as planned. That’s a good thing considering she was going after the wrong man. I’m not happy about Bleu becoming part of The Fellowship. But it is what it is—the next sin, you could say. Your offer of marriage is a solution. According to her, she couldn’t love you more so falling in love was a happy coincidence. I can die in peace knowing my little girl will be in your care. I’m giving you my approval.”

Perfect. I have Harold MacAllister’s blessing. All I need now is his daughter’s forgiveness.

* * *

I’ve ****ed up big time—twice—in a day and a half. Not the best way to begin our marriage.

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Bleu hasn’t said a single word to me during the ride to her house. I’m not sure if that’s because she’s choosing to not speak to me or because she doesn’t wish to argue in front of Sterling. Either way, I’m certain I’ll catch hell as soon as we’re alone.

I don’t want Bonny to be angry with me. I need her to understand the reason I felt compelled to speak with her father while I still could.

Once we’re inside, Bleu stomps to her bedroom. I follow her so we can talk but she slams the door in my face.

Click—the sound of her locking the door between us. I hope she isn’t under the illusion that will stop me from coming in. She’ll need more than this flimsy rectangle to keep us apart.

I rap lightly on the hollow door. “Bonny. We need to talk.”

No answer.

I tap a little more firmly. “You know I’m not going anywhere so you might as well let me in.”

Still nothing so I jiggle the handle. “We are going to discuss this. I’d prefer we didn’t do it after I break down the door.”

The lock pops. I turn the knob and let myself in. She’s standing in the middle of her bedroom, hands on hips. “You’re a complete jackass. I’m so damn mad at you right now!” She picks up a picture frame from her bedside table and throws it at me. I narrowly dodge being hit in the head. “You’re such a selfish bastard.”

Oh hell. She’s really mad.

We’ve never gone head to head but I’m fully aware that Bleu is no delicate flower. She could probably kick my ass under the right circumstances. Judging by her reaction, it’s probably a good idea for me to be prepared for such.

“You already knew I was a selfish bastard. This isn’t news for you.”

“Dammit! You had no right to go to my father without my consent!” she yells.

“We both know you would’ve never agreed to me seeing him.” This was one of those instances where it was easier to obtain forgiveness than permission. Although right now, I’m questioning the whole forgiveness thing.

“That’s right. And for good reason.”

“Aye. You’re right to call me a selfish bastard because I am. I went to your father because I didn’t care for the way it made me feel to know I was taking you as my wife behind his back. But I also did it for the two of you.”

“How can you claim this was about anything but you? I plainly told you I didn’t want him to know, but you just had to go and be the tyrant you always are and do things your way.”

She’s so angry, she’s refusing to acknowledge the outcome my visit accomplished. “Your father approved of our marriage, Bonny. Isn’t that what you wanted? Aren’t you happy about that?”

“It’s what you wanted. Not me. I never wanted him to find out.”

Oh, she’s going to be a hard-ass on this one. “Aye. I wanted his blessing but don’t you have contentment in him knowing about us and approving of our union before he’s gone?”

“I don’t know. I can’t feel any kind of satisfaction or happiness because I’m so pissed at you.”

Did I go too far? “Are you considering backing out?”

“I don’t know what I’m doing.”

I’m not going to lose her over this. “Think about it. Your father will die knowing I’m taking you and Ellison into my care. He knows you’ll have someone protecting you after he’s gone. It’s a terrible burden lifted from his mind. He can be at peace where you and Ellison are concerned. Can you please try to see the good in what I’ve done?”

I take a step toward her but she puts her hand up. It’s my cue to not come closer. “It’s hard for me to see the good for all the selfishness involved.”

My motives weren’t only self-driven. “Your father’s blessing is a gift I wanted you to have. His approval means he and your sister can be part of our wedding ceremony. You get to have your family present when we make our vows.”

She’s barely made mention of her family not being present at our wedding, but I know how much she longs for them to be a part of it.

“Dad’s too sick to leave, even for my wedding.”

“Then we’ll be married in his hospital room. I’m sure we can find an officiant to perform the ceremony at the hospice center.” When I see a change in her expression, I move toward her. She doesn’t stop me this time. “That is if it pleases my wife-to-be.”

There it is. That smile I’m desperate to see. “Yes. It pleases your wife-to-be very much.”

What a relief. “I’m very glad.”

“I love you so I’m going to give you a forewarning. Don’t go behind my back like that ever again. I can promise you with one hundred percent accuracy that it will cause major problems in our marriage if you do.”

“Got it.” I can’t make a promise to never do it again so I voice my understanding instead of an agreement. I’m certain there will be occasions when I won’t tell Bleu the whole truth, and it will always be with good reason. I will never purposely hurt her. “Know this, Bleu. I will always do what I must for your happiness and well-being. That’s something you can always trust without fail.”

Chapter Seven

Bleu MacAllister

I didn’t like how Sin went behind my back—and although I’ll never admit it to him—he was right about going to my father. Which means I was wrong. I couldn’t see it last night because I was blinded by rage. Everything looked different to me in the light of day, even more so when I walked into the living room this morning and saw Sin crunched up on the sofa.

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I looked at him drooling on the pillow beneath his head and it all came full circle for me. I realized that although he pisses me off beyond all recognition at times, this is the man I want to wake next to for the rest of my life—drool and all.

Now I’m standing here facing Sin in my family’s presence and I couldn’t be happier. This wouldn’t be happening with my dad’s and Ellison’s presence if Sin hadn’t gone against my wishes. I love him all the more for that.

No gown with a train. No veil. No organ music or church full of flowers surrounded by friends and family. I didn’t think it was possible for this to feel like a wedding but I was wrong. I’m marrying the man I love with my father and sister present. I have everything I need.

Today’s suit choice is platinum with a cream and lavender pinstriped shirt. Sin’s tie is a paisley print—silver, lavender, and peach. I can’t fathom how in the world he found one in those colors on such short notice.

His boutonnière on his lapel is a tiny miniature of my bridal bouquet, the spray of flowers the only thing distinguishing him from looking the way he does any other time. And that’s fine by me. He’s handsome every single day.

“Who gives this woman?” the officiant asks.

“Her sister and I,” my father answers from his hospital bed. I giggle inside because Ellison insisted my dad include her in the giving of the bride. I’d probably do the same if it were her marrying.

Vow writing has been the last thing on my mind so Sin and I will be using the ones provided by the chaplain—whatever they are. “Repeat after me.”

Sin squeezes my hands as he says, “I, Liam Sinclair Breckenridge, take you, Stella Bleu MacAllister, to be my lover and mother of my children.” He stops at the mention of children. He sees me fighting tears and leans over to kiss the side of my face. He whispers in my ear, “No worries, Bonny. I’m going to do everything within my power to give you babies.”

He straightens and clears his voice to continue his vows. “I love what I know of you and trust what I’ve yet to learn. I eagerly anticipate the chance to grow together, getting to know the woman you will become, and falling in love a little more every day. I promise to love and cherish you through whatever life may bring us.”

I believe what Sin has just said to me. Every. Word.

I repeat the same vows and nearly lose it again when I get to the part about children. He squeezes and rubs his thumbs over the tops of my hands to reassure me.

No worries. That’s what he said.

I finish my vows, truly meaning each and every word. We exchange rings and I’m nearly floored when I see my wedding band for the first time. I can’t believe I didn’t ask to see it before. In combination with my engagement ring, it’s huge—ridiculously so. And I love it. No one will ever mistake me for an unmarried woman. He’s made sure of it.

“You may kiss your bride.” We lean in and softly brush our lips. No tongue. That would just be weird in front of my dad and sister. I’ve never had a boyfriend so they’ve never witnessed me so much as hold hands with a man.

“And so it’s done. You’re my wife, Mrs. Breckenridge. No backing out now.”

I’m in too deep for that but I wouldn’t dare try, even if it were a possibility.

Elli is all smiles as she claps. That’s because my sister doesn’t know who Sin is. She has no idea what kind of man I’ve just married.

She comes to me. “Congratulations. I knew you wouldn’t have a wedding cake so I brought white-on-white cupcakes.”

She goes to the closet and takes out a Gigi’s cupcake box and a large green bottle. “But more importantly, I brought champagne!”

“Thank you, Elli. Everything happened so fast, I didn’t consider anything like that.”

She pops the top and pours for everyone. Even Dad. “A sip won’t hurt.”

“A sip, hell. I’m having as much as I want, little lady. It’s not every day my girlie girl gets married.”

Ellison is snapping pictures one after another—she’s my photographer today. “Drink from each other’s glasses.”

We do as instructed and she gives us a plastic knife from the cafeteria. “Time to cut the cake.”

“It’s a cupcake. I don’t think it needs cutting.”

“Humor me.”

I place the knife on top of the mile-high frosting. Sin wraps his hand around mine and together we glide it downward.

I giggle. What we’re doing feels silly—but fun—so I can’t resist swiping my finger through the frosting and smearing it across Sin’s face. “I see how you want to play.”

“Ahh!” I step away and look at Harry. “Daddy. Help.”

“Don't look at me,” he laughs. It’s the first real smile I’ve seen out of him in weeks.

Sin prowls toward me until my back is against the wall. “Come here, sweet wife.”

I’m doomed. I have nowhere to go so I grin and prepare for what comes next.

Sin doesn’t disappoint. He kisses me, smearing white icing all over the lower portion of my face.

I grab a napkin and go into the bathroom *****rvey the damage. “You messed up my makeup,” I call out.

He comes into the bathroom and stands behind me, looking at my reflection. “You didn’t need it anyway. You’re beautiful without it.”

“Dad is spent. Today’s events were a lot for him. I think we should go so he can rest.”

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“Whatever you want is fine by me.”

As we clean our mess, Ellison holds up the box of leftover cupcakes. “Take these with you. You might have some fun with them later.”

“Fun with cupcakes?” I’m not sure I want her to elaborate on that.

She laughs and shrugs. “Get a little bit creative and you can have fun with anything.”

“Sure.” Why not?

I look at Dad to make sure he isn’t paying attention to us. “He isn’t doing well,” I whisper.

“He tires easily.” I remember the nature of this beast. It takes and takes without giving anything in return.

“He won’t last much longer, will he?” I say the words, immediately wishing I hadn’t. “Never mind. I don’t want to know the answer to that.”

Elli stops and grasps my arm. “You shouldn’t take a long honeymoon if you want to be here when he goes.”

“Then the end is closer than I thought.”

“Dad hides a lot from us. I go along with it, pretending I don’t know what he’s doing, but he doesn’t fool me.”

Sin and I haven’t discussed a honeymoon, but there’s no way I can go anywhere with my dad in this con***ion. “I’m going to be here for him. We’re not going anywhere.”

We say our goodbyes and get stopped by congratulators no fewer than a dozen times on the way out. I think Dad’s nurse, Marge, must’ve told every person in the building about our wedding in my dad’s room.

We get into the black sedan Sin has spent too much time in over the last few weeks. “Sterling. Mrs. Breckenridge and I need a moment of privacy, please.”

My new husband pulls me close and kisses me like crazy. I’m lightheaded, drunk off his lips. And I want more, so much more. “I’ve been dying to do that since I listened to you say your vows.’”

“It was a turn-on, huh?”

“Aye.”

“More so than my initiation ceremony?”

“Absolutely. So much so that I think I want to kiss you like that again.”

When he’s finished, he holds my face with his hands. “I have a very important call to make.”

Sin takes his phone from his jacket. With my hand in his, he brings it to his mouth for a kiss as he waits for Abram to answer. “I love you so much, Bonny. Thank you for marrying me.”

He straightens in his seat and clears his throat. “Aye, Uncle. All is well. I’ve found her.”

I listen intently to the one-sided conversation. Dammit. I can guess at the things Abram is saying based on Sin’s replies, but I wish I could hear for myself what the psychopath is saying.

“No. I didn’t kill Bleu. I married her instead, so I’ll be needing you to call off the hit on my wife.”

I put my hands over my mouth and giggle beneath my breath while imagining the fit that damn evil bastard must be having. “Tell Uncle Abram I said hello,” I say.

Sin grins and takes the phone away from his mouth. “You’re so bad,” he whispers.

He places a quick kiss on my lips before returning to his call. “No, Abram. As my wife, Bleu is protected under Fellowship code. ‘You must never violate the wife or children of another member.’ Contravene our code and you will face the consequences.”

Based on my studies, the ramifications could include anything from a physical penance to the death penalty, depending upon the degree of the offense committed.

My husband is protecting me. And it’s ****ing hot.

I twist in my seat and move over to straddle Sin. I loosen his tie and open the top of his shirt. I kiss the dip at his throat and move my mouth up his neck until I reach that sensitive spot below his ear.

He moves his free hand to my lower back and pulls me close. “Dad already knows, Abram, as well as Mum. They are quite fond of Bleu and were very pleased to know she would be their daughter-in-law.”

He’s quiet for a moment before speaking again. “We’ll discuss all of that when I return to Edinburgh—with my new wife. Goodbye.”

He ends the call and tosses his phone on the seat next to us. “That went as well as I expected.”

“I assume the psychopath is unhappy?” I can’t not laugh.

“Aye. He’s demanding a lot of explanations but he forgets his place. He has no right to challenge anything I say or do.”

“And yet he does.”

“My father has put up with his tyrannical behavior for years. He chooses to pacify his brother but I will not tolerate him.” He sighs. “And that, my sweet bonny one, is going to cause problems. Big ones. Especially since I’ve finished my traineeship.”

“Let me guess. He’s feeling threatened?”

“Aye.” He runs his hands up my back. “Maybe it’s time I consider taking my rightful place and knocking Abram out of his leadership role.”

No. It’s too soon. I want to have Sin to myself—if only for a while longer—before I have to share him. “I really need to not talk about this or The Fellowship right now. Can we make tonight about us?”

“Tonight is about nothing but us.” He wraps his arms around me and pulls me close. He tugs on my bottom lip with his mouth. “And if I’m not mistaken, we have a marriage to consummate.”

“Yes. I believe you’re right.”

He taps me on my bottom so I move off his lap to my seat. I straighten my dress while he lowers the window. “Sterling. Please take my wife and I to The Peabody Hotel.”

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* * *

Memphis isn’t Edinburgh. It’s not spilling over with luxury hotels but The Peabody is a perfect place to spend our wedding night. It’s classic southern elegance at its best.

Sin opens the door and follows me into the living room of the presidential suite. “Oh wow. This is beautiful.”

“You’ve never been inside?”

“No. I’ve lived in Memphis my whole life but I’ve never been any farther than the lobby and convention hall.”

“They offer a Romeo and Juliet suite but this one is better.” He takes his jacket off and tosses it across the arm of the sofa. “It came highly recommended by your sister as well as the Brazilian steakhouse on the corner.”

“Ellison loves that place.”

“You don’t?”

“I like the food but I got sick both times I ate there. In their defense, it was probably my meds causing me to feel nauseated, rather than the food.”

He looks a little miffed. “You’ve not seen a doctor about that yet?”

“I did but she said the benefits of the medication outweigh the side effects. She increased my dosage.” And it’s made my nausea much worse.

“What are the benefits?”

“It helps my body use insulin, which reduces my risk of developing diabetes.”

He’s frowning. “I don’t like this. You’re going to be evaluated by another doctor as soon as we’re back in Edinburgh.”

I suppose a second opinion won’t hurt.

He takes my hand. “Come. I want to have a look at where we’re going to consummate this marriage.”

He leads me up the staircase. We stand just inside the bedroom doorway. “Not bad.”

Not bad, hell. It’s gorgeous. Wall-to-wall luxury in tones of aqua and chocolate. The lavish bed linens are calling out to me. “Come. Lie in splendor. Your husband can join us too.”

“They left something for us.” I walk over and peek inside the basket and ice bucket. “Mmm … champagne and chocolate-covered strawberries.”

“Do you want to have them now or wait until later?”

“I don’t know. I suppose it depends on what you have planned for us.”

“Hmm … it’s technically our wedding afternoon and not yet our wedding night.”

I hope he’s not suggesting we postpone this until later. “Is there a rule that says a husband has to wait until sundown to have his wife for the first time?”

“No, but I don’t want to ruin any ideas or dreams you might have about the things you expect.”

I go to him and slide my hands over his shoulders. “The only expectations I have are us in that bed together with you inside of me as soon as possible. That’s it. All the other stuff is variable.”

He glides his nose down the side of my neck. “Do you want to slip into the wedding-night attire you wouldn’t let me choose?”

“I’ll need my bag. Would you mind bringing it up?”

“It would be my pleasure, Mrs. Breckenridge.”

He’s back so quickly I almost wonder if he sprinted. “That was fast.”

“An anxious husband wastes no time stopping to admire the wall color.”

I take my bag from him. “I won’t be long.”

“See that you aren’t.”

I went with an ivory lace baby-doll top and matching G-string for tonight. I adore the lace pattern and satin ribbon sash below the bust. It’s very bridal yet has the innocent undertone my husband loves so much.

I’m certain I’ve made the right lingerie choice when Sin sees me for the first time. “Bonny Bleu. I swear I’ve never seen anything more beautiful.”

I strike a ***y pose with a hand on my hip. “Then my husband approves?”

“Aye. One hundred percent.”

His chocolate eyes never leave mine as I narrow the distance between us. What I see there tells me it doesn’t matter how many times we’ve had *** in the past. Tonight is going to be different; it’s about a husband taking his wife for the first time.

He pushes my hair away from my shoulder and slides the strap of my top down my arm. He presses a kiss against my bare skin. “I can’t believe you’re mine forever.”

I loosen the knot of his tie. “Yours forever. I like the sound of that.”

I slip his tie over his head and begin on his shirt. He works on his cufflinks as I unfasten the front. When it’s open, I place my hands on his pecs and push the shirt away.

I love his body—fit without being overly muscular. I’m not the least bit attracted to meatheads.

He pulls me close and possesses my mouth while forcing us to turn in a half circle. We trade places so the backs of my legs are pressed against the bed. He’s choosing to be on top. Fine by me.

I sit on the edge of the bed. I hold him hostage between my parted thighs as I unfasten his trousers. I lower the zipper and push his pants and boxer briefs away so he’s freed.

I drag my nails over his hipbones, down his upper thighs. I kiss his chest before scooting backward. I spread my legs wide so he can sit between them to remove his prosthesis.

I shift closer and wrap my hands around his waist from behind as he removes his shoes, pants, and lower extremity. I run my palms over his abs while kissing the upper muscles of his back. My hand drifts lower and I can’t resist grasping his hard ****.

“Whoa. Someone is anxious.”

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“Hmm … judging by how hard you are, I’d say it’s you.”

“Judging by the grasp you have on me, I’d say it’s you.”

“I won’t argue with that.”

He turns and crawls over me. He owns my mouth again but this time, it’s much softer and slower. “Be prepared. I’m going to take you all night long—over and over until we’re so physically drained, it’s impossible to do it again.”

“I dare you.”

He pushes my top up and kisses down my stomach. He slips his finger into the elastic waistband of my G-string and pulls it downward. “As much as I like this on you, I love what’s underneath more.”

I lift my hips and he drags my panties down my legs. He gets to my feet and pulls the G-string over my heels one at a time. “I love that you’ve left your wedding shoes on. It’s very ***y.”

My heels were the most bridal thing about my wedding attire today. I thought it was a nice touch to go all out on them since my dress was so simple. They’re covered in rhinestones and pearls—certainly the ***iest heels I’ve ever worn.

Sin pushes my top up and over my head, tossing it aside. His mouth goes straight for one of my breasts. He sucks my nipple, causing it to become hard. He circles it with his tongue before sucking it into his mouth again.

His palm finds my other breast. He uses his thumb to rub the pink area around my nipple, mimicking what his tongue is doing to the other one. It, too, hardens.

His mouth moves up my chest to my neck and then hovers over my ear. The warmth of his breath sends chills down my body.

He positions himself at my entrance and I wrap my legs around his waist. He slowly pushes himself inside me and groans. “Ohh, you feel so good. Every time.”

He’s moving inside me slowly. Sweetly. Deliberately.

He pushes my arms over my head. His hands find mine and he laces our fingers together. He squeezes them tightly. “Into me … you see.”

Those words replace “I love you” and have somehow come to mean so much more. “Into me … you see.”

I squeeze my legs tighter as he pumps in and out. He releases one of my hands and moves it between my legs. I loosen my grip around his waist so he’s able to reach me better.

He presses his fingers above our union and uses the tips to stroke my clit. “Does that feel good?”

I adjust my hips so his erection strokes my G-spot on the inside and his fingers rub my clit in the perfect position. “Yesss.”

“Good. I want you to come with me.”

“Keep this up and I will. Soon.”

I know he’s close to orgasm because his grip on my hand is tightening. His breath is faster and heavier on my neck.

The tension inside my lower body builds. A series of rhythmic contractions begin, clutching Sin’s **** inside me. “Ohh, I feel you coming, Bonny. It feels like you’re grasping me inside you.”

My climax is the onset for his.

He moves his hand to the top of my head to hold me in place. He thrusts deeply inside me as I come hard around him. He goes lax after he has emptied himself inside me. Nothing in the world makes me feel closer to him.

This is the first of many times he’ll take me tonight. And yes, it feels different having him as my husband. The physical act itself is the same but our connection has changed. It’s much deeper.

The best ever. Now I know what that truly means.

Chapter Eight

Sinclair Breckenridge

Bleu and I had the gift of an uninterrupted wedding night. That all changed the following morning when she got the call about Harry’s decline. Ellison was right. Harold MacAllister’s end is nearing.

I’ve never been with a person during his or her last days—at least not someone dying from an illness. I’ve been with plenty of brothers who’ve passed from the aftermath of violence. But what’s happening with Harry is different. He’s dying a slow death. I can’t help but think it must be better to be taken out quickly.

Is he afraid? I was both times I almost died. I’m not ashamed to admit that. But the second time was more frightening because of Bonny. I was terrified of what might happen to my lass if I left her.

Harry has been my father-in-law for a week. Bleu and I have spent every day—and some nights—with him at the hospice center. I’ve made our time together count. I’ve come to know him well in those seven days—probably better than I know a lot of my own brothers within The Fellowship.

I like Harry a lot. And I suspect he likes me as well.

Harry entertains me with stories of his undercover days. Bleu rolls her eyes each time he tells a tale. I’m sure she’s heard them more times than she’d like.

“I feel like having some chocolate cake, girlie girl. Would you care to go down to the cafeteria and get a piece for me?”

Bleu’s eyes light up. She’s been so upset since Harry began refusing food. “Absolutely.”

Harry’s appetite has become nonexistent. His taste buds are completely shot—an unfortunate side effect of the cancer. He no longer eats enough to nourish a bird. “Want me to go down with you?”

“Stay, Sinclair. You can keep me company while Bleu is gone.”

I’m expecting Harry to begin his next great tale the minute Bleu is out the door. But he doesn’t. “I sent Bleu away because I need to speak to you privately.”

“Okay.” I’m curious about what’s on Harry’s mind since we’ve already had the talk about how I’m going to take care of his daughters after he’s gone.

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“I don’t have much longer. I can feel it coming.”

I can pretend I don’t have a clue what he’s talking about. I can encourage him but I have more respect than that for my father-in-law. “We know.”

“I hide the misery because I don’t want my girls to know the extent. But I’m in agony, Sinclair. The medication doesn’t touch the pain anymore and my doctor won’t increase it. He says a higher dosage will kill me. Ironic, right?”

He’s doing a good job hiding the truth. But I guess he should. That’s what he made a career of. “I’m sorry. I had no idea.”

“I’m in congestive heart failure. It’s a complication of the cancer. My lungs are filling with fluid faster than they can pull it off. I’m slowly drowning on my own fluids. You can’t possibly imagine what it’s like to be lying here slowly suffocating. And that’s what’s gonna get me. It won’t even be the ****ing cancer.”

There has to be something that can be done. “I can have the best doctors brought here immediately.”

“No. That’s not what I want—or what I’m going to ask of you. I don’t want to prolong this.”

“What do you need?”

He sighs. “I know you, Sinclair. I’ve watched you for years and I know the things you’ve done. And still do. You aren’t afraid to end a life.”

No. He can’t possibly be asking me what I think is coming next.

“I wouldn’t ask if I weren’t desperate for your help. Please. Put me out of my misery. Help me die with dignity.”

What he’s asking for is a mercy kill—assisted suicide. Not something I do. “I eliminate those who deserve to die. They’re terrible people who do dreadful things.”

“We all deserve to die. It’s just a matter of when and how. I choose now and in a dignified manner. Not lying in this bed pissing in a bag and ****ting in diapers someone else has to change for me because I’m too weak to wipe my own ass.”

“I’ve never killed an innocent person.”

“Then don’t think of it as ending my life. Consider it the finale of my misery.”

Bonny will never approve. “Bleu won’t want this for you.”

“Hence the reason I’m asking you and not her.”

“She’ll never forgive me if I do this.”

“Or me, and that’s why it would be a secret only we would share. I don’t want my girls to know I chose to go out that way.”

I can’t keep a secret like this from my wife. “I’m sorry, Harry. I can’t do it.”

“I realize this is huge. You need time to think about it so don’t give me an answer now.”

He has my final answer. “No. I’m telling you now I can’t do it. There won’t be any thinking about it.”

Bleu comes into the room carrying a container of chocolate cake in each hand. “One for now and one for later, just in case.”

“Oh, girlie girl,” he sighs. “I’m afraid my craving has passed. I’m sorry I sent you for it.”

Sadness spreads over Bleu’s face. “It’s okay, Dad. We’ll be prepared when your craving comes back.”

I can’t look at Harry right now. “I’m going to step out and make some calls home.”

“Tell Thane and Isobel I said hello.”

“I will.”

* * *

I’m consumed by my father-in-law’s request. It’s all I’ve thought about all day.

Harry isn’t simply dying. He’s a victim of a slow, agonizing death. The end is in sight, almost within his reach, yet so far away.

I hate what Harry’s experiencing but how can I possibly kill my father-in-law? I can’t. It isn’t right. Even I know that.

Bleu opens the bathroom door and the scent of her shower gel invades the bedroom. She stands in the doorway giving me a view of how she looks in one of her new satin gowns. “Like?”

“Love. You look beautiful.”

She comes to bed and crawls over me. Her mouth roams my neck. And chest. And stomach. It’s making its way below my waistband. “Mmm … I love my hot, Scottish husband.”

She stops when I don’t lift up for her to pull down my sleep pants. “What’s wrong?”

How do I say this without alerting her to how poor her father’s prognosis is? “Nothing is wrong. It was a long day with Harry and I’m having a difficult time getting him off my mind. It sort of makes it impossible to get it up when your father is in my head.”

She rolls off me.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to ruin the mood.”

“It’s okay. His con***ion is a lot to take. Trust me. I get it.”

“How much longer do you think he has?”

“It’s getting close,” she says quietly.

“How do you know?”

“I went through this with Julia, my adoptive mom. I recognize the signs but he’s hiding them from us.”

Does she know? “What do you mean?”

“He’s in pain. I can tell. But he isn’t admitting it because he thinks he’s protecting us.” She’s crying. “I don’t want him *****ffer. I’d do anything to take it away for him but there’s nothing I can do.”

She’s sobbing. I usually tell her to stop because I can’t stand it but it seems a selfish thing to say right now. This isn’t about me. If she needs a good cry, then she just does.

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I pull her into my arms. “Cry all you want. Kick if you need to. Scream as much and as loud as you like. Do whatever you need to do. No one is here but us.”

“It feels like there’s an elephant sitting on my chest. I can’t breathe. I can’t catch my breath.” She’s sobbing harder. She scoots away and I feel her leave the bed.

I get up and turn on the bedroom light. She’s standing in the corner of the room with that same wild look in her eye—like a scared animal ready to flee. “You’re breathing fine. You just need to slow it down so you don’t hyperventilate.”

She’s frantically fanning her face with her hands. “I’m burning up. I can’t breathe when I’m hot.”

I grab the closest thing I can find and use it to fan her.

“My hands are tingling. I think I’m gonna pass out.”

“You’re hyperventilating. Slow your breathing. Do it with me.” I’m afraid touching her might worsen it, so I stand before her and breathe in and out slowly, making the motions with my hands. “Do it with me, Bonny.”

She’s wide-eyed and trembling. She places two fingers against her carotid. “My heart’s beating too fast.”

****. What is happening? “Do I need to call for help?”

“No. It’ll pass but I need time.”

It feels like an eternity before she begins to come down from whatever the hell just happened. “It’s going away.”

She moves toward the bed. I sit next to her. “What was that?”

“Panic attack.”

“How do you know for sure?”

“I’ve been having them since I was seven. They started after my mom’s murder.”

“How often?”

“Sometimes I go months without one. But they come more frequently when my anxiety level increases.”

Harry’s illness has her completely stressed but I’ve not seen her do this. “How often are they happening now?”

“That’s the fourth one today.”

“You’re experiencing attacks that bad every day, up to four times?”

“Sometimes five or six.”

“How did I not know this?”

“I hide them.”

How? “There’s no concealing that.”

“When I feel it coming, I go into the bathroom and stay until it’s over.”

I’ve noticed several times she’s slipped away unexpectedly but I didn’t think anything of it. “How does one feel?”

“Like I’m dying. I can’t breathe. It’s like being smothered with a pillow all over again. It’s agonizing and there isn’t a thing I can do to stop it.”

Bonny is stressed to the point it’s affecting her well-being. She doesn’t want her father *****ffer. His con***ion is hurting both him and her.

This changes everything.

* * *

We’re at the hospital by nine, as we have been every morning since we married. It’s certainly not the typical way newlyweds spend their honeymoon. But Bonny wouldn’t have it any other way. She won’t leave her father. And I wouldn’t ask her to.

“Ellison and I are going to Starbucks. ’Tis the season of everything pumpkin. My favorite. Want anything?”

“Aye, you know what I want.”

“Dad? Care for a coffee or pastry?”

“I’ll … pass, girlie.”

I’m glad the two of them are gone. It works out perfectly because I wasn’t sure how I was going to swing being alone with Harry.

“Bleu and I discussed you last night. She told me some things that put all of this into a different perspective.”

Harry perks up.

“You aren’t fooling her. She knows you’re in terrible pain and it’s hurting her. She’d do anything to take it away. It’s killing her to see you suffer.”

“Don’t want … that for her.” Neither do I.

“In the middle of discussing your con***ion, she became so upset that it triggered one of her episodes.”

“Panic … attack?” Harry’s even more short of breath today. He can hardly put two words together. I can’t see this stretching out much longer by natural means.

“Aye. A bad one. I’ve never seen her like that.” The attack she had in Edinburgh wasn’t like this. This was something entirely different.

“She scared the **** out of me. I thought she was dying.”

“Been like … that since … little girl.”

“It lasted an eternity. When it was over, she admitted she’s been having up to six a day and hiding them from us.”

Harry closes his eyes and barely shakes his head. “Good … Lord.”

“She described how she felt afterward. It made me think about you and what it must be like for you all day long. I was lying in bed last night holding my breath. I wanted some idea about what it must feel like but it’s not the same. So my question is—are you still asking me to assist you in your voluntary euthanasia?”

“Yes.”

Once I consent, there’s no going back. I’ll be agreeing to mercy kill my wife’s father. “All right. I’ll do it. But she can never know.”

He smiles and a most unusual expression comes over his face. I think it’s relief. “Thank … you.”

“When do you want me to do it?”

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“Need to … say goodbye … to my … girls first.”

“Of course. Do you want them to be with you when you go?”

“Yes.”

“Good. I wouldn’t want Bleu or Ellison to harbor feelings of guilt for not being present when it happens. Do you want to know when?”

“No … I’ll live … every moment … like it’s … the last.”

“I’ll make it painless. You’ll go to sleep and never know.”

“You’re a … good man, Sinclair. You just … haven’t … figured it … out yet.”

“Bleu is the only good thing about me.” She’s the only reason the light inside me bothers to battle the dark.

“My girl … has a way … of bringing out … the best … in everyone.”

It’s true. My sweet lass has brought out a whole new side of me, one I didn’t know existed. “I don’t know how she can love someone like me. But by some miracle, she does.”

“You don’t … know this … but you’ve helped … to heal … her heart.” He pauses but I can tell he has more to say. “I knew it … the night you … came to … ask for … her hand.”

I was positive I’d never love anyone. I didn’t believe I was capable but that was before Bleu changed everything.

* * *

It’s a new day—and it’ll be Harry’s last. I’m not looking forward to assisting him in leaving this life. It may very well be the hardest thing I’ve ever done.

I’m predicting the onset of an attack for Bleu when he goes—probably a series of them. I dread that as much as being the one to end Harry’s life.

This is clearly his worst day yet. His breathing is much more labored, his color an ashy gray despite the ad***ional oxygen. I seriously doubt he’d last much longer without intervention anyway. So why would I help him leave this world when he’s well on his way out on his own? He wants to die peacefully with dignity, not lying in a bed unable to move while he slowly drowns. I can give him that.

I have everything I need in my pocket—three large syringes. Each is filled with a hefty dose of medication intended to deliver a peaceful death. All I have to do is wait for the right time to inject them into his IV.

I luck out when Ellison and Bleu decide they’re hungry and want to go to the cafeteria. I opt to stay behind.

Harry was an agent for thirty years. He’s not stupid. He didn’t want any warning of when it was coming but he knows what I’m about to do. I see it in his eyes.

“Thank you.”

“Go in peace, Harry.” I push the first of the three medications through his IV.

“I have … a letter … for you. Top drawer … of the … bedside … table. Took me … awhile … to write it. Read it … privately.”

“As you wish.” I slip the envelope into my interior jacket pocket. I connect the second syringe to Harry’s line and take my phone from my pocket. I push the medication as I make the call that is going to devastate my wife. “Bonny. I think you and Ellison should come back. Quickly.”

I connect the third to Harry’s IV. “They’ll be here soon.”

I’ve timed the walk from the cafeteria to Harry’s room a dozen times. I have around two minutes with a brisk walk so I count to sixty and then push the last syringe slowly over the last thirty seconds.

Bleu and Ellison burst into the room half a minute later. Each rush to Harry’s side. “What’s happening?”

“I think this might be it.”

“I’m calling Marge,” Ellison says as she moves toward the door.

Harry stops her. “No, princess. Family only.”

I suddenly feel like an outsider, not fit to stay. “I’ll step outside.”

“Stay, Sinclair.” Harry struggles to catch his breath. “You are my family too.”

His fingers move toward Ellison, not more than an inch. “Come.”

She moves to his bedside and takes his hand. “What is it, Dad?”

He moves his other hand in Bonny’s direction. “You … come … too.”

She does as he says, taking his hand in hers.

“I’ve loved each of you differently, but always equally. Both of you have been my pride and joy but for different reasons. You’ve been the best daughters a father could hope to have.”

Bleu and Ellison are sobbing, each proclaiming their love for their father. It brings me to tears.

Bleu presses her father’s hand to her face and kisses it.

“Girlie girl. You’ve … done good … with Sinclair. He’s going … to be … a fine husband.”

Bleu’s attention temporarily turns from her father to me. “I know. That’s why I can’t be sorry for the way things have gone.”

“Sinclair is … going to … watch over you.” Pause. “Be your protector … and Ellison’s … until she has … a husband … of her own.”

“Both Sin and I will protect her.” Ellison looks from her father to Bleu with her brow wrinkled, her eyes narrowed. It’s the same confused expression I’ve seen Bleu wear.

“Elli … never settle … for less … than you deserve.”

“I never have, Dad. I certainly won’t when it comes to a man.” She brings his hand to her face. “He’ll have very large shoes to fill.”