[Truyện Tiếng Anh] The Next Sin

The Next Sin
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Harry struggles for his next few breaths. His voice is so soft and low it’s barely audible. “I’m very tired. I’m going to rest my eyes now.”

His lids close and the depth of the rise and fall of his chest shallows with each breath.

I’ve watched many men die but never like this—peacefully, without fear.

“Jules.” It’s the last word he utters before his breathing ceases. His face is relaxed, no longer grimacing from pain. Harry is finally at peace.

* * *

Bleu and Ellison are busy making Harry’s final arrangements. They’re choosing flowers, something they don’t need me for, so I decide to steal away for a private moment to read my father-in-law’s final words. “Bonny, I’m going to step out for a minute. Can I get you anything? Maybe a coffee or a snack?” She’s eaten so little the last few days. I can’t imagine that being good for her body considering the blood sugar medication she takes.

She shakes her head. “I’m good.”

I decide to visit the chapel since it’s quiet. A good place to expect no interruptions. That’s where I take a seat and open Harry’s letter.

Sinclair,

In case you’ve not yet figured it out, Bleu isn’t your typical woman. The events of her childhood caused great, lasting damage. Avenging her mother’s death is only one piece of her; she became obsessed with making sure no one ever hurt her again, physically or emotionally. In the process, she closed herself off, unable to connect with others. Until you.

If you’d asked me a year ago—a month ago—I wouldn’t have chosen you for my daughter. But today is different. With the depth of your love, you’ve healed her heart. It’s a father’s hope and dream for his daughter to find such a man.

You’ve come to know how easy Bleu is to love. Always remember that, even when she gives you reason to forget. Because she will. Please be patient with her when she does.

I’ve heard it said that those who cannot forget the past are condemned to relive it. Sinclair, I fear the only way for Bleu to forget is to finish this once and for all. Do it for her. Help my girl forget the hurts of her past.

Harry

I fold the letter and return it to the interior pocket of my jacket.

No worries, Harry. I’ll do whatever it takes to heal this hurt for our girl.

Chapter Nine

Bleu Breckenridge

Edinburgh, Scotland

My life has been a whirlwind the last few weeks. Amazing love. Crushing grief. I basked in the light of one while curling into a ball in the shadows of the other. In my blackest hours, Sin executed his role as my supportive husband perfectly. I needed him and he was there, my beacon in the dark. I couldn’t have asked for a more perfect source of light and strength.

Today marks a fresh beginning in our lives. Sin and I have come home to Edinburgh. I’m sad about leaving my sister behind but excited to begin my life with Sin. The events of the recent weeks consumed us to the point that we were unable to explore our new roles to one another. Now, I finally get to be a wife to my husband.

As Sin’s wife, my position within The Fellowship has changed. Everyone within the brotherhood has expectations for me. And I have no idea what those are. Stepping into this unfamiliar part is frightening.

I fear we won’t have time to breathe before our lives are thrown into yet another tailspin—beginning with our home. Sin claims his flat is no longer a suitable place to live since we’re married. He says we should live in a house and would like to begin looking for one immediately. He’s already phoned realtors and has them searching for estates with a minimum of four bedrooms.

Sin’s already mentioned making the appointment with a fertility specialist. We agreed we’d see one as soon as possible but it feels like another thing we’re jumping into. I understand it’s just a consult—not the actual procedure itself—but I’m a little worried it’s something he’ll want to pursue soon because it’s what The Fellowship will want, rather than what we want.

He’s so hopeful when he talks about it. I guess I might be too if I hadn’t already been counseled—by more than one doctor—concerning my poor prognosis. Granted¸ they weren’t the best doctors money could buy like the ones Sin plans on seeing.

I wait for Sin to unlock the door of his flat—I mean, our flat—and shiver against the cold. He uses his foot to push open the door and scoops me from the ground. “Welcome home, Mrs. Breckenridge.”

He carries me over the threshold and kisses me hard before returning my feet to the floor.

Mrs. Breckenridge. I’ve only heard him say it a few times. “I like hearing you call me that.”

“Then I shall do it more often if it pleases you, Mrs. Breckenridge.” He kisses the top of my head.

I put my arms around his midsection and squeeze tightly. “It does indeed, Mr. Breckenridge.”

“Welcome home.”

Entering his building still reminds me of traveling through a time warp. An old exterior. A modern interior.

I glance around the flat. Nothing has changed from four months ago. Off-white walls. Warm-toned wood flooring. Streamlined. Neat. Classy in a boring sort of way. Lacks color, with the exception of the television when it’s on. It’s a man’s defined space. The enormous flat screen says it all.

“Is it as you remember?”

I stand over the ****tail table. I lift copies of Women’s Health and Advanced Photographer, looking at their dates. July e***ions. Four months old. “Exceedingly so.”

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“I didn’t know if you were finished looking at them.”

“So you kept them?”

“I knew you’d be back.”

The lack of human presence in the flat for the last six weeks means it’s chilly. “I should’ve sent someone to turn on the heat.”

“The cold is a good reason to snuggle until the furnace can heat the place up.”

“Right.”

Sterling appears at the door with our luggage. “Where would you like your bags?”

“There will be fine.” Sterling pushes our bags up next to the sofa out of the way. “Thank you. That will be all for now.”

“Of course, sir.”

Sin turns on the heat. “It shouldn’t take long to warm up. Are you tired?”

I’m beyond tired. Two flights and one layover. A sixteen-hour journey from beginning to end. “I feel like I could sleep for a week and the jet lag hasn’t even had time to kick in yet.”

“Let’s go to bed for a little while.”

I’m not sure that’s a good idea. “It’s nine in the morning. Our days and nights will for sure be messed up.”

“They’re already messed up, Bonny. It’s three in the morning to us.” He pulls on my wrists. “Come on. It won’t hurt if we rest a little.”

I’m not sure he has resting on his mind. “I will, but only to sleep and get warm.”

“We haven’t been here together in months. All I want is to lie next to you and sleep in our bed, in our home.”

Sounds like heaven.

* * *

I wake because I’m freezing. I’ve never shared a bed with Sin in weather like this but I’m learning that he’s a cover hog.

I’m a girl from the South. I’m not used to this degree of cold. It’s going to become bone chilling when December arrives in a few weeks so I need to make note of my husband’s linen-stealing tendencies.

He looks warm and toasty beneath our platinum bedding so I slide over to spoon him from behind. I place my ice-cold hand over his stomach and give the comforter a yank, but to no avail as it’s tucked snuggly around him.

“Cold?” he groans.

I wrap my leg around his body. “Mmm … hmm. Very.”

He rolls to face me and brings the bedding with him, spreading it over me. “I can’t have my sweet Bonny catching a chill.”

He’s holding me close, his chin resting on the top of my head. “Better?”

“Much. The climate change is a bit of a shock.”

“You were here during the long summer days. Winter is much different. Not only is it cold, but the days are very short. Don’t worry. You’ll adjust fine. After all, you are a chameleon.” He’s laughing at me again.

Chameleon. It’s true. I was taught from an early age to adapt to my surroundings but my husband doesn’t know the true extent.

I studied Sin for years. I stalked him with the purpose of using him for all I could get and then I’d toss him aside. I’m not sure he’s sorted out the depth of my plans, but it’s something I feel obligated to admit. “I watched and studied you for years.”

He’s rubbing his hands up and down my arms. “I know.”

He only thinks he knows. “No. I don’t believe you really do.”

He pulls away and looks at me. “What does that mean?”

Here goes. “I had to learn everything about the infamous Sinclair Breckenridge if I was going to infiltrate the brotherhood through you—your habits, your likes, your dislikes. I needed to understand your role within The Fellowship and how you functioned outside of it. I knew as soon as we met that I was up to my ass in alligators with the way you made me feel. I tried to tell myself you were a monster. I wanted to hate you so badly. I tried my damnedest but I couldn’t. That’s when I realized that pursuing you came easy because I wanted you desperately.”

The wrinkle between his brows forms a tight V. “You knew my habits with women before we met? And you used that knowledge to your benefit?”

I nibble my bottom lip and squint. “Yes.”

“What exactly was your objective?”

“To make you fall in love with me.” It sounds so much worse when I say it aloud.

“Because getting close to me meant getting close to my father?”

“That was the plan.” I can’t read his expression. “I’m sorry.”

“So the whole ‘want me, wait for me, can’t have me until you are dying to please me’ thing was all an act?”

“At first. But then everything changed because I fell in love with you.” He was supposed to be collateral damage. Until he became so much more.

“There were so many times I thought of telling you to leave without ever looking back. I knew I was no good for you.”

I’m so happy he didn’t. I would’ve been wrecked. “But you didn’t.”

“Because I’m a selfish bastard. I couldn’t let you go.”

Sin’s wrong. He was completely selfless. “A selfish bastard wouldn’t have taken a crazy-ass, near-death beating for me.”

I’m still amazed by his decision to offer himself in my place so he could keep me.

Isobel was right. I’m finally able to see his sacrifice as the beautiful show of love it was. I love him all the more for it. “Thank you, for what you did.”

“I’d do it again without a moment’s hesitation. That’s how much I love you.”

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I believe him. “I love you with my heart, body, and soul.”

My favorite dimple makes its appearance. “I’m happy you love me with your heart and soul but I very much enjoy you loving me with your body.”

There hasn’t been much opportunity for any kind of loving since our wedding night. Things have been far too hectic, but I plan to remedy that now that we’re home.

“Me too. We have a lot of newlywed ***y time to catch up on.”

“Then we’d better get on it. Rodrick covered for me while I was gone but I’m the new full-time defender for The Fellowship now that I’m back. And believe me—the brothers will keep me busy with their ****-ups.”

I suppose that means we won’t be taking a honeymoon. “I was hoping we’d have a few days to go away before you had to return to work.”

“Sorry, Bonny. There isn’t time. I resumed my place as defender as soon as my feet touched Edinburgh soil.”

He sucks air in through his teeth as his hand finds its way down between my legs. “So you see, Mrs. Breckenridge, there’s a chance I could be called away at any moment. It might be a good idea to christen our bed before the next summons pulls me away.”

I took my jeans off before getting into bed so only a thin layer of cotton shields me from his fingers. “Sounds like a very good call to me.”

He pushes me onto my back, covering me with his body, his weight pressing me into the mattress. He settles between my legs and his hand creeps down the front of my panties. His palm cups me as he glides a finger down my center. His mouth hovers over my ear and I can feel the warmth of his breath against my skin. “You have no idea how much I’ve missed being inside you.”

Inside me. Those two words are enough to make my insides seethe from the fire igniting deep in my groin.

I curl my arms under his and wrap my hands around his bare shoulders. “I bet I have some idea.”

He uses one finger to lightly stroke from top to bottom, over and over. His touch is featherlight. And maddening. “You’re killing me.”

“How so?”

He knows exactly what he’s doing. “You’re being an enormous tease.”

He flicks my clit in a downward motion using the tip of his finger. “It’s called foreplay, Bonny.”

“It should be called torture.”

“Tell me what you want me to do next.”

Oh, that’s the game we’re playing. He wants me to beg. Well, I’m not above it. “Make me come.”

He tsks against my ear. “You have to be more specific than that.”

His warm breath feels so good against my skin. “With your mouth.”

“That’s better, but still not quite what I’m looking for. Put those two phrases together and tell me again.”

He’s enjoying this a little too much. “Make me come with your mouth.”

“That, I can do.” He pushes the front of my shirt up. “But first I want this off.”

I arch upward and he pulls my shirt over my head. “That’s better.”

His lips begin at the base of my throat before moving down my body. He stops in the center of my chest and takes a detour over to my left breast. The tip of his tongue grazes the edge of my nipple, causing it to immediately harden. “You’re in complete control. I’ll do anything you want. You only have to ask.”

Knowing what I want, and admitting it out loud are two different things. I’m not sure I’m brave enough to say what I really want.

“Roll your tongue around the tip and then suck it into your mouth.” He carries out my request.

“One or both?”

“Both.”

He moves to my other breast and I grab his hand, bringing it to my free one. With my hand on top of his, I show him what I want.

When he’s finished, his mouth returns to the center of my chest and migrates downward. “Want more of this?”

“Yes.” I hear the breathlessness in my own voice.

“Then you need to tell me.”

“I want more. Please.”

He nibbles the skin on my stomach just above my panties. I know he wants to go down. And I want him to. But dammit, he isn’t budging.

He wants me to ask for it. So I will. “Please, Breck.”

“Please what?”

Saying the words is intimidating. “Take my panties off.”

“You’re getting closer.”

“Please take my panties off and make me come with your mouth.”

“Gladly.”

But he doesn’t. Instead, he buries his nose in the crotch of my underwear and sniffs. “Mmm … I could almost get off just by your smell alone.”

So close … yet so far away. It’s making me crazy.

He dips his fingers into the waist of my panties and I think he’s going to pull them down. But he surprises me again when I feel his wet tongue saturating the crotch of my panties. The wet fabric makes everything much more sensitive.

He’s definitely trying to torture me to death. No doubt. “Ohh …”

He torments me with his tongue before finally dragging my cotton undies down my legs. It’s about damn time.

He pushes my knees apart and grasps my ankles, placing them on his shoulders. I push the pillow away from beneath my head, tilt my chin in the air, and place my hand over my eyes in preparation of what’s to come next.

In the exact moment I think the anticipation may very well kill me, he drags his tongue against me in an upward motion. Just once. “You taste so good. I could do this all day.”

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“Then do.”

He grasps my hips and pulls me down in the bed. The position sprawls my legs further apart until he has me completely spread-eagle.

He inserts two fingers inside me and pumps them while his tongue flutters against my clit. The combination of the two is the best of both worlds. He’s giving the right attention to both of my most sensitive spots.

I move my hand to the top of his head and grasp his hair. “That feels amazing.”

I’m moving my hips in rhythm with his fingers when I hear something—the doorbell.

I stretch my neck upward so I can see Sin. “Was that the bell?”

He shakes his head, never looking up at me.

I’m pretty sure it was. “I think it is.”

He briefly stops to reply. “Don’t give a **** if it is.”

My feet are planted on the bed now and my upper body is propped on my elbows as I watch Sin’s head bob between my legs. Just the sight alone nearly brings me to climax.

He places the heel of his palm just above my pubic bone and presses downward. I don’t know what it does but my clit suddenly feels much more sensitive. “Ohh … that is wonderful.”

I tilt my hips upward. And hear the doorbell ring again.

Sin lifts his head from between my legs and looks at me. “You’ve got to be ****ing kidding me,” he groans.

The bell rings a third time just before he throws the covers back and yells, “Mother****er!”

He moves to the edge of the bed and reaches for his prosthesis. “Who the hell would be showing up at our house like this unannounced? Now? We’ve only been home a few hours.”

Oh ****. He’s furious.

Sin is in an important role. He doesn’t have the luxury of ignoring doorbells or phone calls. If we’re being honest, he’s at the beck and call of the brotherhood.

“Don’t move out of that bed. I will be right back after I get rid of whoever it is.” He kisses me quickly. “And we’ll pick up right where I left off.”

I grab all the blankets, tucking them beneath my chin. One of the prongs on my wedding ring scrapes my face, a reminder I’m wearing an enormous diamond on my left ring finger.

I hold my hand out to admire the outward symbol of my union with Sin. “You’ve marked me well, Sinclair Breckenridge. No one will ever mistake me for an unmarried woman as long as I have this on my finger.”

I’m snuggling in the warmth of our bed when Sin returns. “It’s my parents.”

He sounds none too pleased and I know why. It means we won’t be finishing what we started. That pleases neither of us.

I’m in no way prepared to receive visitors. “I need to freshen up.”

“It’s probably not a bad idea if I brush my teeth. And this.” He wiggles his tongue at me.

I could have gone all year without him doing that. “Oh my God. You can be so crude sometimes.”

“What? Would you prefer I not brush and go back out there to speak with my mum and dad while your feminine essence lingers on my breath?”

Well, that’s just mortifying, even coming from him. “No. I’d rather you say nothing about my essence on your breath and brush your teeth because it’s good hygiene.”

“And miss an opportunity to see you blush?”

I can feel the heat in my cheeks. “Shut up and let me get dressed.”

I remember all I have in the bedroom are the clothes I wore yesterday—not so fresh after a sixteen-hour journey. “Can you go into the living room and get my bag so I can change into something clean?”

He goes to the drawers I used when I lived here months ago. He opens the top one and takes out my favorite yoga pants and T-shirt. “Your things are just as you left them.”

I hold the clothes to my naked chest and feel a deep ache in my heart. “I can’t believe you kept my stuff.”

I crawl to the end of the bed. He comes to put his arms around me. “I knew you’d be back soon.”

He sounds ****y and arrogant but his confidence is one of the things I love so much about him. “You did, huh?”

“Mmm-hmm.” He’s pressing his groin against me. “You know, it would only take a minute to finish what we were doing.”

No way. We’ve been deprived too long to rush this. “I don’t want it to take just a minute. I’m not a quickie kind of girl.”

“Aye, Bonny. I know exactly what kind of lass you are and how you like it.”

“Delayed gratification, Breck. You need to learn to love it if you’re going to stick with me.”

“I am. Forever.” He growls as he slaps my bare ass, causing me to yelp loudly. “Come. My parents await. They’re anxious to see their new daughter-in-law.”

I make myself presentable and go into the living room. Isobel stops midconversation when I enter. She gets up from the sofa and comes to me. My mother-in-law holds my face in her hands. She kisses each of my cheeks before embracing me. “My sweet daughter.”

Daughter. Not daughter-in-law.

She releases her hold and Thane is waiting to embrace me next. He holds me tightly and whispers in my ear. “I knew you were Amanda’s. Rational thoughts tried to tell me it wasn’t possible but I always knew in my heart.” He releases me and holds my face in his hands the same way Isobel did. “You’re so much like her. It’s absolutely amazing.”

I’m not really sure how to respond. “Thank you” doesn’t seem the appropriate thing to say. I smile instead.

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“Sit with us. We have much to discuss.”

I take the seat beside my husband on the sofa, facing my in-laws.

Thane begins. “First of all, we want you to know how sorry we are to hear of your father’s death.”

“Thank you. The flowers you sent were beautiful.”

Thane continues. “You may believe your only remaining relative is your sister but that isn’t true. Our son chose you as his wife. That means we are your family now.”

“You’ll never know how much I treasure you embracing me as one of your own.” I might as well get my deception out in the open so we can move on. “Mostly because I didn’t come to you under the most honest terms.”

“Ye didn’t come with malice in mind.” Isobel has no idea but she couldn’t be more wrong. My intentions were very malicious.

“Everything you did was because you wanted answers about your mother’s murder. I can’t begrudge your deception,” Thane says.

Sin told Thane and Isobel I’m a former agent. He was left with no choice after Abram uncovered my history. My in-laws also know I’m Amanda’s daughter. It was the only way Sin could explain my infiltration into The Fellowship without revealing my intention to kill Thane.

It’s a huge bump in the road but my goal hasn’t changed. It’s transitioned into a new stage. I know less than I ever have. I’m back to square one on finding my mother’s killer.

“I have to figure out who it was.”

“Perhaps we can put our known facts together and come up with a list of suspects.”

This is a strange situation to be in. Thane’s asking me to discuss my mom—his mistress—in front of his wife. It’s uncomfortable. And I don’t wish to be disrespectful to my mother-in-law.

I understand Thane and Isobel’s relationship but I need to have her approval. “Are you okay with us discussing my mother?”

“Of course. But I’ll step out if my presence makes ye uneasy.”

I guess there’s no reason to be ill at ease if she isn’t. “No. Stay.”

I retell the horrid events of the day my mother was killed and I can see the pain in Thane’s heart; it’s reflected in the expression on his face. “You have a grave with a headstone next to your mother. I’ve seen it.”

“Dad’s doings. He was afraid my mom’s killer might come back for me if he believed I could identify him. He decided it would be safer if everyone believed I was dead.”

“You spent all these years believing I was her killer. I swear it wasn’t me.”

I wholeheartedly trust that he’s telling me the truth. “I believe you.”

“I understand you didn’t see the killer’s face but do you remember anything that might be identifying?”

I know very little. “He smelled of sweet tobacco and liquor. I know now it was Jack Daniels. Neither of those things helps with determining identity but my dog attacked him. There was a lot of blood so I believe he should have a significant scar on his right lower leg.” At least that much is solid.

“You were convinced you recognized my voice.”

“I had heard your voice many times during your visits to my mother. Her killer’s accent was identical to yours. As a child, I always assumed it was you. When I became an adult, I knew I couldn’t go on assumptions alone so I researched her connections. You were her only Scottish association.”

My findings didn’t prove his guilt. It would never stand up in a court of law but I didn’t need that; I made myself judge and jury. I didn’t convict Thane based on concrete evidence. I did it using my gut. And I was wrong. I can admit my mistake now.

Can’t lie. My blunder shakes my confidence.

“Several of my men were in the US when Amanda was murdered but I don’t have reason *****spect any of them. None had motive. They would’ve been too afraid to cross me.” Thane may need to rethink the loyalty of his men.

“Perhaps a rival, then?”

“It’s possible but I doubt they would’ve taken something so precious to me without claiming responsibility.” He’s right. A rival would’ve loved nothing more than him knowing what they’d done. Whoever did this wants to keep it quiet.

“Would you be willing to make a list of Fellowship members in the US during that time?” That’s probably our best place to begin.

“Aye. I’ll have a list for you in the morning.”

“That would be a great start. Thank you.”

Isobel slaps her hands together. “Good. Now that we have that out of the way, I want tae talk about why I’m here.”

I don’t think anyone is questioning Isobel’s reason for coming. “It’s not every day The Fellowship’s future leader takes a wife so we need tae have a formal commemoration tae announce and celebrate yer marriage. That bastard, Abram, robbed ye of the wedding ye should have had here with yer family but we’ll make up for it with one hell of a reception. And he will be there, front and center, smiling about it.”

Abram may be there but I highly doubt he’ll be smiling.

“Our wedding was beautiful, Mum,” Sin says. “And the end result is the same. Bleu is my wife and that’s all that matters.”

I wouldn’t take a posh wedding in a beautiful cathedral over the one I had at my father’s bedside. It was perfect.

“I’m sure it was lovely. I’m sorry I missed it. But we’ll make up for it with a reception The Fellowship won’t forget anytime soon.” Isobel removes a large binder from her bag and I know what it means. She has big plans in store.

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My initiation ceremony was grand so I can only imagine what she has in mind for a wedding reception. “I have an event planner scheduled tae come later this week but we need tae have some ideas of what we want before he comes.”

My husband and father-in-law get up to make their escape. “This is our cue,” Sin says.

The jackass I married is grinning at me. He’s laughing because he knows choosing tableware, flowers, and cake flavors aren’t my thing. But it’s something I’ll do for my beloved mother-in-law—with a smile on my face—because I want to make her happy.

Isobel closes the folder once Sin and Thane are gone. “I’m ecstatic about the reception but I don’t want tae discuss the plans for it right now. I only pretended I did so the men would leave.”

Thank God. “That’s a relief.”

“I thought it would be.”

Seems my mother-in-law knows me pretty well.

“I have things I want tae tell you about the brotherhood and what it’s like tae be married tae its leader. Their input isn’t needed.”

“There are times when it isn’t.” I laugh.

“Ye’ve only been back a few hours but The Fellowship doesn’t offer the courtesy of a transition period into yer place as wife of a leader.”

That may be the case, but I have no idea what is expected of me. There’s no map or guidebook. “I don’t know the part I’m to play. I’m lost.”

“Then ye must quickly find yerself because that can be construed as instability. That’s no good for ye or Sinclair. There are those who would call you weak and use that against ma son.”

I won’t be a liability to my husband. “I’m a lot of things but weak has never been one of them.”

“Ye were expected tae pick up the reins the moment ye arrived. No one cares that ye weren’t raised within the brotherhood. They’ll be watching—and some hoping—for ye tae fail.”

I won’t let Sin down. “Failure isn’t an option. So where do we begin?”

“Always with tea, love. We have a lot tae cover.”

Chapter Ten

Sinclair Breckenridge

Photographs. Sticky notes. Timelines. Thumbnails with strings connecting one clue to another. It looks like nothing more than graffiti covering the wall of my home office.

The squares of paper stuck to the wall vary in a dozen colors. I’m sure each represents some kind of significance to Bleu’s investigation but I find no rhyme or reason to the madness. Organized chaos. That’s what it looks like to me.

I stop in the doorway and take a moment to watch my wife. She’s listening to a violin cover of “My Immortal” while standing before her new mysterious masterpiece. She’s rocking from one foot to the other while chewing a pencil. I almost think I can hear the gears grinding in her head.

“Well, that’s new. And interesting.”

She spins around, takes the pencil from her mouth, and tucks it behind her ear. “Hey, you. Come over here. You gotta take a look at this.”

I go to her, placing a quick kiss against her mouth.

“Someone tastes like whisky.”

“You sound surprised. I guess that means you didn’t get my text.”

“No. Sorry.” She scans the room. “Guess I didn’t bring my phone into the office.”

“I went by Duncan’s to take care of some Fellowship business. I ran into Jamie and Leith. We had a couple drinks so we could catch up.”

“Good. I know you must miss hanging out with your friends.”

I think she feels guilty for cutting into our triad’s time together. “It’s all right. I sort of like my new friend.”

“You said you were tending Fellowship business. Everything okay?”

“Aye. A few of the brothers have expressed interest in opening a gentlemen’s club.”

“A gentlemen’s club.” Her words ooze with contempt. “And I suppose they’ll want Fellowship women to work in it?”

“Of course. It would work the same as any other Fellowship business.”

“I’m all for Fellowship women working to earn a living. If they choose to do that topless, that’s their prerogative but can’t we provide them other career choices besides being strippers and barmaids?”

“We do, Bonny. There are a lot of options. You’re not aware of them yet because you haven’t been around long. You’ll see there’s lots of opportunities for any woman who wants to work.”

She appears less defensive. “I’m glad to hear that.”

Good. She seems content.

I move my attention to the newly decorated office wall. “Taking up some new form of abstract art as a hobby?”

“No. I met with Debra today for the first time. We had lunch and then she came over to take a look at my evidence. She helped me set this up. It’s brilliant.”

Debra? “Remind me who she is.”

“My dad’s former undercover partner. She quit the Bureau and went freelance. She was also my eyes and ears while I was studying you from afar.”

“Ah. She’s the woman who ran surveillance on us.”

“No. She’s the woman who ran surveillance on you for years and was completely undetected.”

“Aye. Very true.” I can give cre*** where it’s due.

“It was a great meeting. Not just because she helped me with this. She told me all kinds of stories from when she and Dad were partners. I enjoyed hearing about their antics.”

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Bleu says little but she’s still mourning the death of her father. And the loss of her sister. She occasionally tells me she needs alone time in the tub but I know what that really means. She needs a good cry.

She looks at the clock on the wall. “Wow. I didn’t realize it had gotten so late. I’m sorry. I got caught up in this. I haven’t put anything on for dinner.”

I don’t mind. We’ve been in Edinburgh a week and my sweet Bonny Bleu hasn’t stopped. When she isn’t researching the men on the list my father gave her, she’s spending time with the women of The Fellowship. She’s even offered to teach photography to anyone who’s interested.

She’s striving so hard to win them over. A suggestion from my mum, I’m sure.

“No problem. You need a break—let’s go out for dinner.”

“Can I tell you about a breakthrough I found first?”

She’s so excited. There’s no way I can burst her bubble. “Go ahead.”

She points to the photo on top with three strings connected to it.

“Todd ****burn is a suspect?” He’s a pit boss at the casino. The only way his hands are ever dirtied is by money.

“He was in the US during the murder and—wait for it—he worked at the same Fellowship casino as my mother in Biloxi, Mississippi. The timing is off. I haven’t worked that part out yet but they would’ve been coworkers before I was born.”

I hate being her killjoy. “Your mother didn’t work for The Fellowship. Don’t you remember Dad saying he tried to convince her to come to work for him?”

“You’re wrong. I pulled her employment records. She worked at a Fellowship casino when your grandfather was leader. Thane didn’t meet her until after she left and was working for a non-Fellowship casino.”

That changes things. “Very interesting discovery.”

“I have Debra to thank for that tidbit. I’d like you to meet her. She could be a huge asset against The Order.”

My wife is remarkable. “You may not have been born into The Fellowship but you are destined to be one of us. No question about it.”

“I’m supposed to have a girls’ night out with Lorna, Westlyn, and a few of their friends Tuesday night. I want *****ggest going to the casino.”

I know my wife. She doesn’t have to tell me what going to the casino means. She wants to question Todd ****burn.

She arches her right brow. “Your thoughts?”

“You’re a card counter. We don’t allow your kind in the casino. It’s bad for business. I’m sure you understand.”

She grins. “I won’t be there for the cards.”

I’m not a huge fan of her interrogating Todd. “Have Debra question him.”

“What would be the fun in that?”

She truly enjoys the chase. I suppose I can concede and allow her a little entertainment since I know questioning ****burn will prove fruitless. “You and the lasses enjoy your blackjack game. And don’t break the casino, please.”

* * *

Bleu holds the foot of the mattress for balance as she kicks out of her heels. When she’s finished, she comes to me and lifts her hair so her zipper is exposed. “Want to help me out of this?”

I lower her zipper but she doesn’t let her dress fall as I’d hoped. She holds the top and walks into the closet.

Damn, I hope that’s a sign she’s changing into something sweet and sassy. That’s what I have a craving for tonight.

I’m almost finished brushing my teeth when Bleu comes into the bathroom.

Hell, yes! She’s wearing the ivory slip gown with the ruffles—one of my all-time forever favorites. “I love seeing you in that.”

“Which is why I chose it.”

I finish my nightly routine before Bleu but I don’t leave the bathroom to get into bed. I stay so I can watch her.

Preparing for bed together is an odd thing for me to covet but I have since before Bleu became my wife. It’s something I’ve never shared with any other woman so I suppose that’s why it feels special.

“What are you doing?” The foam of the toothpaste spatters around her lips. It makes me want to kiss the minty bubbles away.

“You know what I’m doing.”

She rinses and spits. “Right. Because this is so ***y.”

It runs a close second to the way her silky gown clings to her curves. “You already know I think it is.”

She shakes her head and giggles. “My sweet, darling Breck. You’ll use anything as an excuse to get turned on.”

That needs clarification. “Aye, but only when it comes to you.”

I move to stand behind Bleu. I kiss her bare shoulder, watching our reflections as she melts against me. I brush her hair away from her neck, my mouth leaving a trail of kisses to that sweet spot below her ear.

She tries to twist in my arms but I hold her firm. I suck her earlobe into my mouth while gliding my hand around her waist. I lower it so my hand cups her crotch, my fingers circling her through the satiny fabric.

I flatten my palm against the center of her back and push. “Bend over.”

She lowers her upper body and holds the vanity, palms flat. She sways her hips from side to side so she’s rubbing her bum over my growing bulge. I use my foot to tap each of her inner ankles. “Spread your feet.”

I push the back of her nightgown upward. She grasps the front holding it in place with her clenched fist.

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I palm her satin-clad bum. I glide my fingers through the part of her thighs and rub the crotch of her knickers. She’s already wet. That makes me very happy. And hard.

I clench the waist of her knickers in my fist and pull them down her legs. They become a pile on the floor.

My fingers glide through her slick cleft. She rhythmically shifts her hips, rocking against my hand.

I’ve come to know my wife’s body well. This will be short-lived. She’ll come quickly.

With my free hand, I reach for her chin. I grasp it, forcing her to watch our reflections in the mirror. “Look at me. I want to see your face when you come.”

Bleu opens her mouth and sucks two of my fingers inside. She bites them firmly but not hard enough to cause pain.

Her eyes close. “Bonny. I want those baby blues on me.”

Her lids flutter open and I recognize the growing frenzy on her face. Her climax is close.

She sucks harder. Her subdued moan vibrates in her mouth against my fingers. I ache to see the outward reactions of her inner body imploding with ecstasy. There isn’t a damn thing I enjoy seeing more.

Watching Bleu come like this is intense. It’s arousing as hell. My **** throbs, prepared to do whatever it takes to be inside her.

I one-handedly push my sleep pants down. I guide my tip to her warm, wet entrance. I enter slowly, giving her a moment to acclimate to the position. “Good?”

She releases the suction on my fingers. Her eyes are still watching mine. “Yes. And now I want to watch you come.”

I grasp her hips and guide them in counteraction. We master the motion and speed the rhythm. This position allows me to get inside her deep and fast.

I slow because my orgasm is building. I try to prolong it but it’s useless. Bonny feels too good.

She watches my face intently when I grip her hips and thrust urgently. “Come inside me. Deep and hard.”

****. Her words are my undoing.

I fill her with a part of myself until nothing’s left. When I finish, I’m spent and empty.

I lean forward and press my forehead to her back. “My sweet Bonny. When we met, all I wanted to do was **** you. I daydreamed about it day and night. I fantasized about the ways I would do it. This one was at the top of my list.”

“You got your way.”

“Somewhere in the midst of envisioning all the ways I’d have you, I got greedy and wanted you to love me.”

“Again, you got your way.”

I pull out and she twists in my arms. I squeeze her tight, lifting her to sit on the vanity. She drapes her arms around my shoulders and wraps her legs around my waist.

“You always make love to my mind and **** the hell out of my body. Never stop.”

“Not a chance.”

I kiss her quickly. “Come. I have something I want to show you.”

I’m nervous as I lead her to the bedroom and fetch a paper from inside the top drawer of the nightstand.

We sit on the side of the bed. “I’ve been researching fertility clinics and I think I’ve found a good fit.”

“You’ve been searching for a fertility clinic without me?” A deep V appears between her brows as she narrows her eyes at me.

Uh-oh. She’s pissed.

“Nothing in-depth—just a little simple Internet search in my spare time.”

Her scowl doesn’t improve as she reaches for the folded printout. “Let me take a look.”

I give her the sheet and point to the one at the top. “I found several potentials but this one in London has the highest success rate.”

According to what Bleu has told me, we’ll need the most highly skilled physicians available. “Most clinics I found typically have a success rate somewhere in the thirties, up to forty percent. This facility’s standard averages around fifty-eight percent.”

She arches her right brow. I think that means she’s impressed. Or interested. “That’s very high.”

This isn’t new information for Bleu. She understands what these numbers mean. “Of live births, fifty-three percent were single babies while forty-seven percent were twins.”

“That’s a really high twin rate,” she says, looking over the statistics. “They must know what they’re doing.”

“I want to pursue this but not if you aren’t on board.” This is our decision, but it’s her body. She has to want this or it’s a no-go. “This isn’t your happy face.”

She sighs. “I have mixed feelings.”

“Tell me about them.”

“I’m not at all prepared to be someone’s mother right now. The thought of a little person depending on me is terrifying.”

She’s scared. I get it. The whole thing is frightening for me too. “I’m guessing it’s not at all unusual to feel that way. I’ll bet we could ask a dozen parents and they’d all say parenthood scared the **** out of them.”

I need to remind her what an appointment with a fertility specialist would mean at this point. “It would just be a consult—a meeting to discuss our best option for having a baby in the future.”

“But the other end of the spectrum scares me too. They could confirm I’ll never be able to have one.”

“You mean they could tell us.” Her fertility issues are my fertility issues. We’re in this together.

I put my arm around her and kiss the top of her head. “I married you knowing we might never have children of our own and I’m okay with that. We can always adopt.”

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“The Fellowship is going to want a blood successor. But you knew that as well when you married a woman who might not be able to give you a child of your own.”

“In case you forgot, I married you anyway.” My love for Bleu exceeds any obligations The Fellowship may have for me. “**** The Fellowship. They don’t get a say in our personal lives.”

“That’s just not true.” She sighs. “Like it or not, they’ll always have a say about each and every part of our lives.”

They can say what they like. Doesn’t mean I’ll jump each time they command. “Then it’s a good thing I’ll be their leader and can tell them to shove it all up their arses.” Finally, I earn a smile from Bleu. “Because I will if the circumstances call for it.”

The corners of her mouth curl deeper. “And I love you dearly for that.”

I’m not sure she believes my promise but at least her mood seems to be more agreeable. “Is it all right to push forward with making the appointment? It’s possible there could be a waiting list.”

“It’s probably a good idea. I’ve been having a lot of pain.”

I had no idea. “Why haven’t you told me?”

She shrugs. “We were getting married. Dad was dying. We were moving across an ocean. It could be any number of reasons. Pick one.”

“We’re never too busy to address something as important as your health. Don’t keep me in the dark about such things again. Promise?”

“Promise.”

“Good. I’ll call tomorrow and make the arrangements since it’ll need to be scheduled around my work.”

Bleu slides down in the bed and I move over her until she’s situated perfectly beneath me. I hover above, my weight supported by my elbows pressed into the mattress, so I can look at her face.

“I’ve been told most of my adult life that I’d likely never be able to have children. After you hear it so many times, you have no choice but to believe it. I mourned it as a loss, because to me, it was the death of a dream. But I came to accept it. Now there’s a small ray of hope dancing around my heart and I’m terrified of the pain that could accompany another disappointment.”

“I want us to go into this with nothing but a positive attitude while keeping in mind that no matter how things turn out, I will love you.”

“I can’t believe I have this incredible man in my life with the power to possibly change my fate.”

“Your fate is my destiny. Always.”

Chapter Eleven

Bleu Breckenridge

It’s midnight on a weeknight so we’re asleep when the doorbell rings. Someone showing up here at this time can only mean one thing. Something Fellowship-related has happened.

This is our life. My husband gets yanked from our bed at all hours of the night. I knew what I was getting into when I married him. And I’d do it again.

Sin leaves the bed. When he doesn’t return, I get up to see what’s happening.

We returned to Edinburgh three weeks ago. I’ve managed to avoid my nemesis, the devil himself, until now.

He smirks when he spots me standing in the doorway.

“Ah! There she is. My lovely niece, the newest Mrs. Breckenridge. Come, lass. Give your uncle a hug.” He may be a charming psychopath with the ability to fool some but I don’t mistake the contempt in his tone.

If he wants to play the charm game, I’m up for it. I’m quite gifted at becoming whoever I need to be. But he knows that.

“Hello, Abram.” I hug him tightly. “I hope all is well.”

“I’m afraid not, love. That’s why I’ve come at this late hour.”

God, he’s laying it on thick. Makes me want to puke. I hope Sin isn’t mistaking this for sincerity.

“I’m sorry to disturb you. I know you’re still in the honeymoon phase but I must borrow your husband for a while. Uninvited guests have been seen at one of our warehouses. We need to secure it.”

“Give me a minute to dress and I’ll be ready to go,” Sin says.

“Of course.”

I’m left alone with Abram. I can’t wait to see how he uses this time with me.

“Congratulations on your nuptials.”

Damn liar. “I don’t believe for a second that you’re happy about my marriage to Sin.”

He laughs. “You are a frisky little thing. I would bet money your spicy personality directly reflects in the bedroom. Is that why my nephew was so willing to do anything to make you his?”

I fight the temptation to put Abram on his knees. “You didn’t come here because you want to wish me your best or discuss my *** life with my husband.”

“You’re right. I have no well wishes for you and the way you **** is none of my concern. However, I do have an interest in what brought you to Edinburgh in the first place.”

Sin says we don’t owe Abram an explanation. He hasn’t told him anything and I don’t have to, either. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“Cut the ****, Mrs. Breckenridge. You’re an FBI agent who ****ed your way into The Fellowship. You got my nephew to marry you. That’s no coincidence.”

Abram’s spoiled. He’s privy to knowing everything about everyone within The Fellowship. Until me. He must feel very threatened by that.

A threatened animal is dangerous. I probably shouldn’t rattle his cage. But I will anyway. “Wouldn’t you love to know my motives?”

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“Listen, little lass. I’ve been in this family fifty-three years. You’ve been here five minutes. It’s a mistake to think you’ll best me. You won’t win.”

I grin as I laugh. He isn’t getting under my skin. “I love Sinclair and he loves me. That’s all you need to know.”

“Your mother did the same thing with Thane as what you’re doing with Sinclair now.”

I shake my head. “You still believe I’m Amanda Lawrence’s daughter.”

“My dear Stella Bleu Lawrence … I could tell you all the details you want to know about your mother’s death. I know everything. Who. Why.”

He’s bluffing. If he knew anything, he’d have told Thane years ago. He wouldn’t suddenly decide to give up the goods to a woman he doesn’t know. It’s a trap to make me admit I’m Amanda Lawrence’s daughter. But it won’t work.

“I would think you’d have already shared those details with your brother if you knew anything.” I grin, calling his bluff.

Sin returns and we both go silent.

“Ready.”

My husband comes to me and cradles me in his arms. “You know the routine.”

“I know. Don’t expect you before morning.”

He kisses me quickly. Nothing like what he’d give me if Abram weren’t here.

“Come back to me safely.”

“Always.”

He moves his mouth over my ear. “Be naked and waiting for me.”

Sin has a new obsession. He wants ***, the frisky kind, when he comes home from being out on business. He’s a beast. I’m not sure what’s brought it on but I like it.

“Naked, wet, and wanting. That’s how you’ll find me when you return.”

“Perfect.”

* * *

I wake to the sound of the shower running. Odd. Sin always bathes after coming home from tending to Fellowship business but never before telling me he’s back safe and sound.

“Sin?”

No response.

I get out of bed and go to the bathroom. “You didn’t wake me when you came in. Everything okay?”

“Yes.” It’s peculiar to hear him use that word. I’m accustomed to hearing “aye.”

“You sure?”

He doesn’t reply.

I peer around the corner of our walk-in shower. Sin’s hands are pressed against the tile wall. The cascade of water hits his shoulder and runs down his back. My eyes immediately go to an angry red laceration over the left side of his lower back. It’s been freshly sutured.

I’ll never get used to seeing my beloved wounded. I hate it. “I see Jamie had to stitch you up. What happened?”

He’s unmoving, staring at the floor. “Go back to bed, Bonny. I’ll be there in a minute.”

He doesn’t give me the answer I want but he’s acting peculiar. I think pushing him is the wrong thing to do. “Do you need anything?”

“No.”

I return to bed and wait. It’s at least thirty minutes before he slides in next to me. “Is everything okay?”

“Depends on who you ask.”

“I’m asking my husband.”

“I killed someone tonight.” His tone is devoid of emotion.

Sin has killed before. This isn’t news. “This time was different?”

“He was a boy,” he growls. “The Order had no business bringing a boy so young in on a raid.”

“How young?”

“Eighteen. Maybe nineteen. I don’t know but too young to die.”

He needs to talk about this. “How’d it happen?”

“He came at me from behind with a knife. I couldn’t see him. I only felt the burn of the blade in my back.” He punches his fist into the mattress.

“You shot him before you realized how young he was?”

“Aye. I would’ve roughed him up and sent him crying to his mum if I’d realized.”

“Baby. You didn’t know.”

“That doesn’t change the way I feel.”

It sucks. I know from experience. “I understand every emotion you’re experiencing right now. A strung-out, seventeen-year-old kid took shots at me during an undercover sting. He had every intention of killing me so he could steal the meth I had. It turned into kill or be killed, and I had no choice. He died in my arms before the ambulance arrived.”

“Tell me how to deal with this because I don’t have a ****ing clue.”

“A **** ton of therapy. But it was my dad who got me through it. He’d been in my shoes so he understood the guilt associated with taking a young life. He reminded me often that I didn’t choose to kill that kid. I was forced. Just like you.” I move closer and put my head against Sin’s chest. “And I’m going to get you through this. Expect to hear over and over that this wasn’t your fault.”

“This gets so much worse, Bonny. The boy was Jason Grieve, the only son of Torrence Grieve, the leader of The Order.”

I don’t need to be fluent in Fellowship affairs to know The Order will see this as an act of war. “That means they’ll retaliate?”

“Hard. It’s only a matter of time.”

“What are the brothers saying?”

“They’re thrilled I killed The Order’s only potential replacement leader. They’re treating me like a ****ing hero. But I in no way feel like a victor.” I hear his pain in the break of his voice.