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Best wishes for all women in BOX on this event... Being always funny, happy and alots of successes...
Happy women''s day...
You'll be hit by... You'll be striked by... I SmOoTh CrImInAl

THE FUNNY THINGS KIDS SAY
Kenzi, 3, who lives a great distance from her grandparents. They
cherish each and every minute they spend with her. Kenzi LOVES animals, so
during a recent visit to Papa and Gumma''s house, they decided to add a
little sunshine to an overcast dreary day by taking Kenzi to a local game
farm. Securely confined within their vehicle, they drove through acres of
wild animals, safely feeding some. While tossing bread to the pea****s,
Kenzi began looking around. With a look of total confusion on her face,
she said, "Gumma, it''s not raining. And that pea**** just put his umbrella
up!" Sure enough, one of the males was parading by fanning his tail
feathers! -- Rhonda Jalbert (grandmother of Kenzi) of Port Angeles,
Washington
Kaci went to pick up her son Hollis from his grandmother''s house.
Kaci asked Hollis what he had to eat. He said a pot pie. His grandmother
said, "And..." Hollis smiled and said, "an orange." His grandmother said,
"And..." Hollis smiled and said, "Truck parts!" He meant pork chops! --
Kaci Turman of Indianapolis, Indiana
Brianna, 5, was spending the night with her grandparents. They had a
great time, playing school, putting puzzles together, reading books and
laughing and giggling. Grandpa said, "Brianna, you make me laugh all the
time." Brianna replied, "Yes, and I make Grammie laugh, too." Grandpa
said, "Grammie laughs all the time because you have Grammie''s tickle bone."
Brianna said, "Oh no I don''t, Grandpa. I have my mommy''s nose and my
mommy''s mouth!" -- Barbara Roney (grandmother of Brianna) of Portland,
Oregon
Carrie, 4, and her mother were driving one afternoon when Carrie
asked, "Mama, why don''t we say ''ain''t?''" Her mother replied, "We don''t say
''ain''t'' because we use proper grammar." Then Carrie asked, "Why do we need
to pray for Grandma?" (She thought "proper grammar" sounded like "pray for
Grandma!") -- Christy (mother of Carrie) of Lynchburg, Virginia
Faith is learning to read in kindergarten and doing quite well.
Lately she has taken pride in reading during evening worship. One night
she opened the devotional book to tell them where to turn in the Bible.
"Four, one through seven," Faith said. "Which book?" her mother asked.
"This one," Faith said as she tapped the front cover of the Bible. --
Debbi Armstrong (mother of Faith) of Orlando, Florida
One Sunday afternoon when Sue''s daughter and grandson were visiting,
her daughter decided to cut people''s hair. First Sue cut her mother''s hair
and then "Papaw''s." Then little Spencer was asked if he wanted to have his
hair cut like "Papaw''s?" Spencer replied, "I don''t want a hole in it!" --
Sue Vires (grandmother of Spencer) of Butler
Dan was about 4 when he was at Bible School. It was snack time. His
teacher asked, "Dan, would you like a cookie?" He replied, "No, I''ll have
french fries!" -- Sharon Bordner (mother of Dan) of Kendallville, Indian
On a recent visit to Granny and Gramps'' house in Angola, Hannah, 7,
and a friend, Hayley, also 7, were playing with their dolls on the top
bunkbed. Hannah''s 4-year-old brother, Austin, wanted to join and the girls
did not want his company. They attempted to get him to leave. Suddenly,
Austin came running to Granny. Sobbing, he said, "Hannah is calling me
THAT WORD again!" When asked, "What word?" Austin replied, "That
A-U-S-T-I-N word." He said sternly, "Hannah, you know Mom said for you not
to call me that word." Apparently, since Hannah was learning to spell, and
knowing that her parents often spell words, she had been spelling Austin''s
name to her friend and Austin thought she was saying something bad about
him. -- Ken and Karen Shelton (Gramps and Granny) of Angola
One day during a group activity with her kindergarteners, the children
decided to cheer for each other after each correct answer. But one girl,
Katie, yelled "Gravel! Gravel!" instead of "Bravo! Bravo!" -- Kathy Giron
(kindergarten teacher) of Abilene, Texas
On another occasion, Kathy''s students were working on an activity and
they eagerly asked if they could take it home. Kathy told them, "I want to
hang it up in the classroom for now so you can bring your parents in during
open house and show them your work." Esmeralda asked, "What if we don''t
know where your house is?"
Cha Mẹ nuôi con như biển hồ lai láng .Con nuôi Cha Mẹ sao tính tháng , tính ngày .

MIDNIGHT VISIT
by Fred Wickert
During my Air Force career I was stationed in Tokyo, Japan.
While there, I acquired a wife, a dog and a cat.
The dog, a honey colored ****er Spaniel with a lot of white freckles
on his nose, was named Freckles. The cat was yellow and white, without a
tail, and we named him Blondie. Fortunately, they got along with each
other very well.
Freckles and I had a relationship of deep and abiding love. When the
Air Force sent my wife and I back to the USA on a plane, we were not
allowed to bring animals. I had to send Freckles and Blondie on a
commercial flight.
I took them to the airport and put them together in the same cage.
They were such good friends that I knew they would be happier and less
afraid if they were together. People at the airport were amazed when they
saw them. Everybody knew that dogs and cats just don''t mix.
After picking them up at the airport in California, Freckles and
Blondie traveled all over the United States with us, by car. They were
always with us.
Half way through my career, I was transferred to Andrews Air Force
Base in Maryland, to become one of the security force protecting the
aircraft used by the President. Freckles and Blondie went with us.
After five years, I went to the war in Vietnam. This time, I had to
go alone and leave Freckles and my wife behind. Blondie had passed away
two years before.
When I returned a little over a year later, Freckles and I were
overjoyed to be together again. I had been reassigned to Presidential
Security for the remainder of my career, so we didn''t have to move again.
In late autumn in the following year, I got up one morning at a very
early hour. Freckles woke up and joined me in the kitchen as I prepared
and ate my breakfast. I petted him for a few minutes, and then he went to
the coat closet inside the front door. There was a folded piece of carpet
in there that he liked to sleep on.
When I was ready to leave, I went to get my coat and hat from the
closet. I reached down to pet Freckles and tell him goodbye, and
discovered that he had died. I canceled my plans that day, built him a
nice casket and gave him a decent burial.
About a year later, I was working the midnight shift. I was in a warm
hangar, guarding the President''s small airplane. Most people were unaware
of the small plane, a four engine Lockheed Jet Star. At that time, they
knew only of the Boeing 707.
I was seated at a small table at the front of the plane where everyone
had to sign in and out, but at that early hour there was no one there but
me.
Without being aware of becoming drowsy, I had fallen asleep.
If, in the military, you are found asleep on guard duty, you are
court-martialed or severely punished. It would ruin a career and even a
pension. I only had three years remaining before retirement.
Suddenly, Freckles was there on the table, licking my face!
He woke me up. I know it wasn''t a dream because my face was wet with
his saliva. I could feel him. It was real! He was there!
Just as I awoke, there was someone coming in the door on the other
side of the hangar.
It was the Security Superintendent, who occasionally came in the
middle of the night to check on us.
Freckles had just saved me and my career.
Yes, Freckles had passed away more than a year before. Yet, he was
still with me and still faithful.
Now I know that there is life after death. And I know that Freckles
is my Guardian Angel!
-- Fred Wickert <frederick.wickert @ verizon.net>
CAT LAWS
1) Law of Cat Inertia
A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted
upon by some outside force - such as the opening of cat
food, or a nearby scurrying mouse.
2) Law of Cat Motion
A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really
good reason to change direction.
3) Law of Cat Magnetism
All blue blazers and black sweaters attract cat hair in
direct proportion to the darkness of the fabric.
4) Law of Cat Thermodynamics
Heat flows from a warmer to a cooler body, except in
the case of a cat, in which case all heat flows to the cat.
5) Law of Cat Stretching
A cat will stretch to a distance proportional to the
length of the nap just taken.
6) Law of Cat Sleeping
All cats must sleep with people whenever possible, in a
position as uncomfortable for the people involved as is
possible for the cat.
7) Law of Cat Elongation
A cat can make her body long enough to reach just about
any counter top that has anything remotely interesting on it.
8) Law of Cat Acceleration
A cat will accelerate at a constant rate, until he gets good
and ready to stop.
9) Law of Dinner Table Attendance
Cats must attend all meals when anything good is served.
10) Law of Rug Configuration
No rug may remain in its naturally flat state for very long.
11) Law of Obedience Resistance
A cat''s resistance varies in proportion to a human''s
desire for her to do something.
12) First Law of Energy Conservation
Cats know that energy can neither be created nor destroyed
and will, therefore, use as little energy as possible.
13) Second Law of Energy Conservation
Cats also know that energy can only be stored by a lot
of napping.
14) Law of Refrigerator Observation
If a cat watches a refrigerator long enough, someone will
come along and take out something good to eat.
15) Law of Electric Blanket Attraction
Turn on an electric blanket and a cat will jump into bed
at the speed of light.
16) Law of Random Comfort Seeking
A cat will always seek, and usually take over, the most
comfortable spot in any given room.
17) Law of Bag / Box Occupancy
All bags and boxes in a given room must contain a cat
within the earliest possible nanosecond.
18) Law of Cat Embarrassment
A cat''s irritation rises in direct proportion to her
embarrassment times the amount of human laughter.
19) Law of Milk Consumption
A cat will drink his weight in milk, squared, just to show
you he can.
20) Law of Furniture Replacement
A cat''s desire to scratch furniture is directly proportional
to the cost of the furniture.
21) Law of Cat Landing
A cat will always land in the softest place possible.
22) Law of Fluid Displacement
A cat immersed in milk will displace her own volume, minus
the amount of milk consumed.
23) Law of Cat Disinterest
A cat''s interest level will vary in inverse proportion to the
amount of effort a human expends in trying to interest him.
24) Law of Pill Rejection
Any pill given to a cat has the potential energy to
reach escape velocity.
25) Law of Cat Composition
A cat is composed of Matter + Anti-Matter + It Doesn''t Matter
Cha Mẹ nuôi con như biển hồ lai láng .Con nuôi Cha Mẹ sao tính tháng , tính ngày .

THE FUNNY THINGS KIDS SAY
Rhonda''s husband and little girl were watching "Kindergarten Cop."
Rhonda was standing in the hallway when she overheard her daughter say to
her father,"The reason we have undercover cops is because they can''t afford
the uniforms!" -- Rhonda Adams of Amarillo, Texas
Adriana, 8, saw that her mother was not feeling well. She insisted on
taking her mother''s temperature. She took the thermometer out and said,
"Mommy, are you going to work tomorrow? I don''t think you should because
you have a temperature and I don''t know much about temperatures but you
sure do have one." (The thermometer read 98.6.) -- Irma Cisneros (mother
of Adriana) of Phoenix, Arizona
Cindy had the unexpected opportunity of surprising her granddaughter
Holly in Florida for Holly''s 7-year-old birthday party. One night Holly
told Cindy about her plans to be in show business someday. "I can''t wait
until I grow up," Holly told Cindy, "so that I can see what kind of limo
I''m going to have!" When Cindy was leaving, Holly asked if she would be
able *****rprise her again on her 8th birthday. Cindy said she didn''t know
because of the cost of airfare. Holly told Cindy, "Grandmas (who ride on
airplanes) should be free!" -- Cindy Bevington of Angola, Indiana
When Zachary was about 4 (he''s now 18), the family was planning to eat
at a cafeteria that he had eaten at before. When he heard they were going
there, he said he wanted that pie with the "splinters." They couldn''t
figure out what he was talking about until they got to the cafeteria and he
pointed to the chocolate cream pie with chocolate "sprinkles" on the top!
To this day, every time the family eats there, he still asks for the pie
with the "splinters." -- Margaret (mother of Zachary) of Garner, North
Carolina
Sara, 5, was visiting her grandmother who has two outdoor cats. The
neighbors have about 10 horses. The horse owners were feeding the horses,
and the cats attempted to join in. Sara tried to call the cats like one
would call dogs, and her grandmother told her cats aren''t called in the
same way that dogs are called. Sara shrugged her shoulders and said, "But
I don''t know how to talk cat!" -- Janice Finley (grandmother of Sara) of
Arab, Alabama
Charity''s son was home sick. He kept asking if he could go outside to
play, and Charity kept saying no. So he came back with a drawing. He said
it was body parts. There were little things drawn on the body parts. He
explained, "God puts different color light bulbs in our bodies to make our
skin be a different color. Some people have brown lightbulbs and some have
white." Then he asked if he had improved enough to go outside! -- Charity
Abernathy of Powell, Tennessee
Angelina, 9, and Garett, 8, were outside playing at a friend''s house
where there were swings and a hammock. Suddenly Angelina came in and
plopped down on the couch, with her arms folded across her chest. "What
happened?" her mother asked. Angelina replied, "Garett tumped (their word
for dumped) me out of the hamhock!" -- Sandra Hester (mother of Angelina
and Garett) of Jackson, Mississippi
When Maggie was not quite 3, she was busy in the bathtub playing a
game that she loved - using many plastic cups, filling them with water and
soap foam, and lining them up along the edge of the tub. Her father came
in to say hi and asked what she was doing. Maggie was flustered about
having to explain her game. "Papa, you go back to your computerworks," she
said, "and let me finish my waterworks!" -- Connie (mother of Maggie who
is now in college) of Vienna, Austria
Here''s another one from Connie. When Maggie was about 5 they were
visiting friends in the U.S. Connie told Maggie that there would be many
people coming that day because they were having an open house. "What?"
Maggie asked. "They going to take away all the walls?"
Kas adores her grandkids. When her youngest grandson was celebrating
his third birthday, Kas was sitting on the floor by the couch. Weston came
over and flopped down beside her. He wrapped his arm around her and said,
"Hi, Sweetheart. I''m so happy you''re here!" -- Kas Quimby of Elma,
Washington
Cha Mẹ nuôi con như biển hồ lai láng .Con nuôi Cha Mẹ sao tính tháng , tính ngày .

GREEN PASTURES
by Lydia Glider-Shelley
My friend Billy lives alone, except for a cat.
But the cat that he has now is not the one I''d like to tell you about.
The cat in this story was his companion until just recently, when he
crossed the Rainbow Bridge.
Bill lives in South Florida, on Dania Beach. People often dump their
unwanted cats there. I''m not sure why. Perhaps it''s because they think
the beach is a giant litterbox, or maybe they think there will be food for
these poor creatures to s****nge for. Unfortunately, these animals have no
hunting instincts whatsoever, so they turn up on the doorsteps of beach
residents hoping someone will take pity upon them.
Billy was never quite sure where "Wingnut" came from, but he took care
of him (and vice-versa) for many years. In fact, not long after he moved
to Dania Beach in 1996, they found each other.
A regal feline, Wingnut did not seek the attention of many. He was
very choosy about whom he''d approach. He was also very clever and could
escape from his locked up home through the attic somehow. I don''t think
Billy ever did quite figure it out.
Since he has diabetes, Billy has to be very careful about his health.
Sometimes it has been very shaky. In the late summer and fall of 2002 he
was hospitalized for several months, and I went to clean his apartment and
do his laundry, so that his home would be welcoming upon his arrival. I
also went to visit Wingnut and made sure he was okay.
Wingnut never seemed too pleased about me being there, and if I
brought something home that belonged to Billy, the next time I arrived to
visit he''d be right near that object.
Wingnut was so happy when Billy was released from the hospital. He
was next to Billy every moment and he grew to be very protective as well.
It was this quality that most likely led to his regrettable demise.
In ad***ion to the diabetes, Billy also suffers from impaired vision
due to cataracts. Therefore, he can''t drive a car, so he must walk or ride
buses to get to where he needed to go. Wingnut began to anticipate these
excursions and would hurry to precede his friend''s departure, because he
wanted to walk a few steps ahead and watch out for hazards. This behavior
was very persistent, so when Billy had to take a bus, he would gently pick
him up and place him back inside, before locking up and leaving. However,
as I''ve said before, this cat was a master escape artist.
The night Wingnut departed from this world, Billy had gone across the
street to wait for a bus. Suddenly, out of the corner of his eye, he saw a
dim shape rapidly approaching from the direction of his house. Almost at
the same moment that he realized it was his beloved pal, Wingnut was hit by
a passing car.
Grief-stricken, Billy gathered Wingnut''s limp body into his arms, and
took him home, where he sat cradling him for hours. Eventually, however,
he knew it was time to lay him to rest. With a heavy heart, he chose a
lovely well-landscaped spot, and bade him farewell.
But this is not the end of the story.
A few months after this tragedy, Billy had a dream. In his dream
there were verdant green pastures, leading to a lovely wooded area. It was
sunny and cheerful and Wingnut greeted him, playful and kittenish
frolicking back and forth as if beckoning his buddy to join him. It was as
if he were, once again, scouting the territory to prove it was safe to
venture forth.
An overwhelming longing arose in Billy. He wanted to go then. He
wanted so badly to follow Wingnut and never turn back. But he chose not
to.
I am writing this in March of 2004.
Just recently, Billy had the dream again. He said it was very intense
and he awoke drenched in sweat. I asked him how he felt and he told me
that he almost went this time. And he told me that if he had the dream one
more time, it would be his last.
Because next time he plans to go.
-- Lydia Glider-Shelley <ledheadlydia @ myself.com>
Cha Mẹ nuôi con như biển hồ lai láng .Con nuôi Cha Mẹ sao tính tháng , tính ngày .

PRINCESS ANNIE
by Leigh Singh
I was eight years old when I met the girl I would come to call
Princess Annie.
At the time, I didn''t know she was royalty. I was too busy fighting
back tears to pay attention to the wavy-haired girl who was my hospital
roommate. Lucky for me, her friendliness outshined my misery.
As I slumped on the hospital bed that would be mine for the next eight
weeks, my roommate bounced over.
"I''m Annie!" she proclaimed. "What''s your name?"
"Leigh," I whispered.
"Hi, Leigh!" Annie grinned. "I''m here to have my heart checked. Why
are you here?"
"To have an operation on my legs," I answered over the lump in my throat.
"Ooh!" Annie''s eyes widened when she saw tears in my own.
"I like your sweatshirt," I said, hoping to change the subject.
Annie dropped her chin and studied the image of Popeye the Sailor Man
smiling up at her.
"I love Popeye!" she chortled. She shoved her hand into her pocket.
"This is for you, Leigh!" she beamed, handing me a sesame candy.
"Thanks." I managed to smile before slipping the treat into my mouth.
That was the first of many candies my roommate shared with me. Annie
and I spent most of our waking hours at opposite ends of the hospital, but
several times a day I would hear someone call, "My Leigh-Leigh!"
I''d look up to see Annie, her hands full of sesame treats. Whether
hurrying down a hallway or peeking into the therapy room, Annie had a knack
for finding me. And every time she did, I felt glad to be found.
"My Leigh-Leigh!" The familiar greeting floated across a darkened
hospital room. Nurses had tucked Annie and me into our beds hours ago. I
lay on my back in traction. My legs felt like they were on fire. Tears
soaked my pillow.
"My Leigh-Leigh!" Annie''s voice was insistent now.
I brushed a tear from my face. "What?"
"I can''t sleep," Annie answered. "Tell me a story."
"A story? Now? We should sleep."
My roommate was undaunted. "I can''t sleep. You''re awake. Tell me a
story. Please, please, please!"
Something in Annie''s tone kept me from arguing. "OK." I took a deep
breath and began. "Once upon a time, there lived a Princess named Annie."
"Yea!" Annie squealed delightedly.
I smiled and continued, "Princess Annie ruled a happy kingdom, and
everyone there loved her because of her kind heart."
"Yea! That''s good!" Annie cheered again.
As the story of Princess Annie unfolded, my pain began to fade. My
imagination soared. I gave Princess Annie many wonderful friends -- a
polka dotted boy, a talking giraffe, and of course a royal storyteller. My
tale was periodically interrupted by Annie''s joyful exclamations. She even
cheered when I introduced Draggie -- the mean, green, fire-breathing dragon
who threatened the kingdom.
"But don''t worry," I added, not wanting to give my roommate
nightmares. "Princess Annie had a friend called Prince..." I paused,
searching for the perfect name to give a fairytale prince.
"Popeye!" Annie shouted.
Of course! Why should my roommate settle for a prince when she could
have Popeye? I quickly amended the tale. "Princess Annie had a friend
called Popeye. He was a wonderful sailor. Popeye knew how to handle that
mean, fire-breathing Draggie!"
"With spinach?" Annie asked.
I giggled. "Hey, you''ve heard this before!"
"No I haven''t. Honest. But I know Popeye has lots of spinach. And
he always saves the day!"
Annie was right. Popeye did save the day. He hurled huge handfuls of
spinach at the dragon and rescued Princess Annie and her subjects. But the
hero didn''t rest on his laurels. Popeye and Princess Annie and all their
friends visited every night for the next eight weeks. They had many
adventures together -- adventures grand enough to overcome pain and turn
loneliness into laughter.
As each nightly tale drew to a close, my roommate would call to me,
"Popeye saved the day! Thank you, my Leigh-Leigh."
Just before closing my eyes, I''d answer, "You''re welcome, Princess
Annie. Sweet dreams."
Years have passed since I last saw the girl I called Princess Annie,
but I still smile every time I taste a sesame candy or see an image of
Popeye. I smile to remember the friend who taught me that it''s possible to
reach beyond challenges and pain when we reach beyond ourselves.
I smile and I whisper, "Thank you, Princess Annie."
-- Leigh Singh <Leigh @ Leighsingh.com>
Cha Mẹ nuôi con như biển hồ lai láng .Con nuôi Cha Mẹ sao tính tháng , tính ngày .

THE FUNNY THINGS KIDS SAY
Kris was in the car with her grandson Devin, 3, when a car stopped
beside them. The car had a pizza delivery sign on its roof. Devin saw the
sign and asked, "Who''s that, Grandma... the pizza police?" -- Kris
Davidson of Kendallville, Indiana
Kris and Devin often drive by Bixler Lake to see the geese. The lake
was still frozen and the geese were standing on the ice. "What kind of
birds are those?" Kris asked Devin. He thought for a moment and said,
"Well, they''re not turkeys... and they''re not ostriches!" Kris was
laughing so hard she had to pull the car off the road. Devin then replied,
"They''re ducks!"
Dianne''s granddaughter Megan is only 2 but she knows that her father,
Jeff, goes hunting and they eat a lot of venison, which she knows is deer
meat. One day they were driving in the country and saw some deer in the
field. Megan did a "deer call" and then added, "Oh yummy, yummy, yummy!"
-- Dianne Shearman (grandmother of Megan) of Fremont, Indiana
When Kas'' daughter was expecting their first son, Carson, she was
teaching pre-school. She was hoping the kids wouldn''t notice before the
school year ended because she did not want to have to answer a lot of
questions. One day a small group of students came up to her and asked if
she were going to have a baby. She said yes. After a small silence, the
pre-schoolers asked, "Can we name it?" -- Kas Quimby of Elma, Washington
Janie, 3, spent the weekend with her father. When she got home, she
told her mother, "Daddy had a date with a blind woman." They eventually
figured out she meant a "blind date!" -- Nina Christen (grandmother of
Janie) of Napoleon, Ohio
When Beth''s oldest son Ace was in kindergarten (he''s in 6th grade now)
he was learning "new words." One day he came home from school very sad and
remorsefully confessed, "Mom, I''m sorry. I said the F-word to my
classmate!" Torn between alarm and intrigue, Beth asked him what the word
was that he was so ashamed of. After repeated assurances from Beth that it
was OK to tell Mama, he finally whispered, "The F-word I said is
s-t-u-p-i-d." -- Beth Padini of Saipan (a U.S. Trust Territory where Beth
says "every day is a summer holiday)
Kiel, 8, was going through his grandmother''s old jewelry box. She
explained to him some of the stories behind the objects he found. When she
showed him the pin she got from nursing school, he gave her a curious look.
"Nursing school?" he asked. "You had to go to school to learn how to
breastfeed?" (His mom had breastfed his younger brother.) -- Joyce Light
(grandmother of Kiel) of Denton, Texas
Morganne, 3, was riding in the car with her grandmother to pick up her
Aunt Kaitlin at school. They were singing "Jesus loves me, this I know..."
Morganne sharply yelled, "No! Jesus loves ME! Not you! ME!" -- Kaitlin
Weiser of Vancouver, Washington
Last spring at Easter, Kathleen''s family traveled in rural Ontario to
visit Kathleen''s in-laws. In the spring, there are some very strong smells
because the farmland is fertilized. At one point, a very strong smell came
into the car, and 6-year-old Patricia asked, "Dad, is that smell
''cow-litter?''" They now have a new word in their vocabulary. -- Kathleen
Dahl of London, Ontario
Aubrey, 2, lives in a household with a yellow lab puppy. They have
been teaching the puppy tricks. Aubrey must have been observing the
process because one day Aubrey held up a piece of bread in front of her
mother and said, "Speak, Mommy! Speak!" -- Terri P. Jones (aunt of
Aubrey''s mother) of Louisville, Kentucky
Cha Mẹ nuôi con như biển hồ lai láng .Con nuôi Cha Mẹ sao tính tháng , tính ngày .

DEFINING "A GOOD THING"
by Christina Abt
Now that the hoopla has somewhat subsided, I thought I would go on
record, along with the rest of the world, on the topic of Martha.
I''ve long been a critic of Martha Stewart.
Not in terms of her creativity or sense of style, but rather for the
fact that her sole professional purpose has been compelling people to
believe that projects such as carving gourds into candleholders are
essential to living a good life. Further, the domestic diva has always
completed these tasks in a way that suggests the project is overtly simple
and can be accomplished by the average person in a matter of minutes.
What is never abundantly clear about Stewart''s impressive entertaining
projects is that they are created and accomplished through the assistance
of a full scale, behind-the-scenes staff!
In other words, in Martha''s world, life is not in any way related to
one lowly individual striving to deliver grilled cheese and tomato soup
onto chipped and mismatched china and to the dinner table before they''re
ice cold.
That being said, there is a part of my heart and soul that genuinely
empathizes with the empire building czarina.
Whether deserved or not, I cannot fathom how this woman, who has long
enjoyed the most beautiful, the most luxurious, the most decadent life
ingredients and surroundings, will survive drab prison cell decor -- tick
filled and stained mattresses, two thread count sheets, scratchy wool
blankets, and an in-cell toilet, bidet not included.
In Martha''s terms -- definitely not good things.
The financial statistics thrown around by the media offer that Stewart
risked her billion-dollar lifestyle for a losing stock sale of $228,000.
Now while that may seem like a princely sum to many, it ranks more like
chump change when compared with Stewart''s multi-zero, bottom line. Yet it
would seem, at the time, that Stewart was determined to make the penny ante
stock sale, believing that the minute gain greatly exceeded any chance she
might be caught with her perfectly manicured hand greedily foraging inside
her designer cookie jar.
However the reality is that since being accused and convicted, in
ad***ion to serving jail time, Stewart''s Omnimedia parent company is
spiraling into an out of control financial drop, suffering a 35% or 4.5
million dollar decrease in earnings in the first quarter of 2004. Further
the net worth of Omnimedia stock has plummeted 40% since last June.
Obviously, these adverse financial reactions and her upcoming jail
sentence clearly reinforce the fact that Martha Stewart''s $228,000 stock
sale was an ungodly error in judgement.
To my way of thinking, it also reinforces the fact that the mindset
Stewart long pressed into the average American homemaker''s psyche as the
ultimate way of life was predominantly unrealistic and skewed.
In fact, I bet these days Martha Stewart would happily settle for
grilled chesse and tomato soup on chipped china -- hot or cold.
-- Christina Abt <christinaabt @ hotmail.com>
Cha Mẹ nuôi con như biển hồ lai láng .Con nuôi Cha Mẹ sao tính tháng , tính ngày .

DUNCAN''S SIGN
by Bruce Cornely
In the days that followed the passing of my 12 year old beagle,
Duncan, to the Rainbow Bridge, it appeared that he had prepared each of his
packmates for his departure.
He gave them each a special task.
Molly began sitting in Duncan''s place when we were together on the
sofa, sitting next to me and leaning against my side.
Miles, Duncan''s littermate, moved to Duncan''s place in our bed when we
went to sleep at night, snuggling against my chest.
Degui (pronounced Dewi), only 1-1/2 years old, and our newest ad***ion
to the pack, was given the most special assignment.
For years, whenever I went into the bathroom for my morning
preparations, Duncan would sit in the doorway waiting for a taste of
toothpaste. After he had received his taste he would come into the
bathroom and curl around my feet while I shaved, washed my face and brushed
my teeth.
The morning after he died, I went into the bathroom and, as I reached
for the toothpaste, I sadly looked toward the door knowing that Duncan
would not be there. But there sat Degui, just as Duncan had, waiting
patiently. He had never done this before. It was as though Duncan had
saved the most important task for Degui.
Even with these reminders of Duncan, I was still grieving and very
lonesome for him. In discussions with friends on my beagle chat lists,
several people mentioned that I should look for a "sign" from Duncan. Many
signs were discussed and I was assured that I would know when Duncan sent
his sign for me. Weeks passed and I continued to wait.
One morning, several weeks later, I received a call from our vet''s
office, telling me that Duncan''s ashes could be picked up.
All of the grief returned and I carefully drove to the vet''s office as
though in a terrible rain storm. My tears would just not abate. The
receptionist at the vet''s office silently handed me the small box, lightly
touching my hand in a comforting way. The tears flowed and, unable to
speak a word, I cradled the ashes in my arm and headed for the car.
I sat for about a half-hour before I was calm enough to drive.
Sadness inundated me as I turned into the driveway at home and looked
into the wooded lot next to my house where Duncan had played with Lady
Meghann Miles, Molly and Degui. After bringing the car to a stop and
shutting off the motor I sat and cried.
After a few minutes, a feeling of calm came over me. Pulling the box
containing Duncan''s ashes close to my chest, I looked up. There on the
hood ornament of my car sat a beautiful black and gold butterfly. He was
larger than the other butterflies that normally inhabited our yard, but
then, Duncan had been the largest of my beagles.
After a moment or two the butterfly rose slowly, hovering over the
hood of the car. He flew around in a circle and then into the woods.
I knew that this was Duncan''s sign to let me know that he was happily
at the Rainbow Bridge, but was still with me and watching over me. Later
in the morning, I buried Duncan''s ashes in the back garden among the azalea
bushes near where I had previously buried the ashes of another beloved
beagle, Lady Meghann, several years ago.
As I completed this heart-wrenching task, the large black and gold
butterfly appeared again, perched on a branch high up in the azalea bush.
"Thanks, Duncan. I love you," I said.
The butterfly rose into the air and circled the garden and then headed
for the woods.
It has been over two years and this large black and gold butterfly
still appears, always alone, and I have never seen another like it.
I love and treasure this very special gift from Duncan.
-- Bruce Cornely <hydrant @ baskerbeagles.com>
Cha Mẹ nuôi con như biển hồ lai láng .Con nuôi Cha Mẹ sao tính tháng , tính ngày .

THE FUNNY THINGS KIDS SAY
Scot took some of his sons to a toy store, so he could pick up some
electronic kits for a class he teaches at the elementary school. While
they were there, the 7-year-old twins asked if they could get a mineral,
and Scot consented. Taran chose a shiny, purple crystal. Mica got a
small, round hematite rock, and Scot explained to the boys that the Mars
Rover Opportunity was searching for hematite on Mars. Mica innocently
quipped, "Why don''t they just get it at the toy store?" -- Mary Weaver
(Scot''s aunt) of Sandy, Utah
Angela works as a page in her small town library. One night when
Angela and some of her coworkers went to the local movie theater, they saw
a great number of their patrons at the same movie. Seated in front of them
was one of the 4-year-olds from the story time program. The little girl
recognized the librarians that she sees every week and whispered as only a
child can, "Look, Mommy! There''s the ladies that live at the library!" --
Angela of Ohio
The story last week about the little boy who told his grandma,
"Hi,Sweetheart. I''m so happy you''re here!" from Kas Quimby stirred a lot
of memories for readers. One lady wrote about how her grandma calls her
grandchildren, "Doll," and several of them would call HER (the grandma),
"Doll!"
When Bryce was 4 (he is now 10) he was riding in the car with his
Pappaw and Mammaw. They were driving through town and Pappaw sped up to go
through a yellow light. Bryce said, "Mmmmm Pappaw, the police are going to
pull you over and write you a check!" Pappaw laughed so hard and said,
"Well I hope they do!" -- Shelley (aunt of Bryce) formerly from Victoria,
Texas
Rodney, 8, pulled a tooth and then lost the tooth. So he gave his
mother a note which said, "Mommy if you are a helper to the tooth fairy I
can''t find my tooth so can you please give me some money anyway. Thank you
your son Rodney." -- Georgetta Tinnin (mother of Rodney) of Moore,
Oklahoma
When Brent was 4 there were only girls for playmates in their
neighborhood. Brent really liked one girl named Jennifer who lived across
the street. One day he went to her house several times, hoping to find her
at home. But no one answered the door. He was so frustrated that his
mother said, "Instead of constantly going over there, just call her."
Brent immediately went out the front door and screamed as loud as he could,
"JENNIFER!" -- Janie Williams (mother of Brent) of Springfield, Missouri
Bill''s family was eating in a fish restaurant. When the waitress
gave the specials of the day, she included poached salmon. Bill couldn''t
resist saying, "Poaching is illegal." Little David piped up, "My dad is a
real joke machine." Then Charlotte, 2, added loudly enough for the
surrounding tables to hear, "Yeah, and he toots, too!" -- Bill Dahl London
of Ontario, Canada
When her stepson Wade was 7, Shari was frying battered strips of
venison for supper one night. Since he was a picky eater, thinking he
would not like deer meat, Shari''s husband told him they were having steak
fingers, and how delicious they were. They sat down at the table and Shari
put some plump, golden, fried, venison on Wade''s plate when he said, very
seriously, "Ok, I like steak fingers, but how come I got all thumbs?" --
Shari Sherrick of McAlester, Oklahoma
A few years back, Sue took her two children and her 8-year-old nephew,
Jamie (he is now 32), to the cemetery to decorate the graves. Sue was
looking for one of their great-grandparent''s graves and could not find it.
Jamie piped up and said, "The S''s are over there, Aunt Sue." He thought
they were buried in alphabetical order. -- Sue Strausbaugh of Gas City,
Indiana
Cami''s 9-year-old step-daughter (she is now a freshman in college)
was watching The Flintstones for the first time when she exclaimed, "I like
the Flintstones because I like seeing how they did things back then!" --
Cami of Rowlett, Texas
Cha Mẹ nuôi con như biển hồ lai láng .Con nuôi Cha Mẹ sao tính tháng , tính ngày .