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CHARLEY''S WRATH
by Diane Dean White
On Saturday morning, around 4am, I sat listening to the soft rain and
branches falling from the pine trees against our house.
I knew there would be more activity in the wake of Bonnie and coming
of Charley as the day progressed. Living on a barrier island in South
Carolina over the past seven years, we have become used to the late summer
and fall hurricane warnings.
We''ve taken part in two evacuations. Returning home, we were thankful
we didn''t have more damage than losing some branches from our tall pine
trees.
Watching the television and trying to decide if we should evacuate or
not, is always standard procedure. Many tourists have left the island
early, to return home. We try to analyze the sense it makes to leave home
to be in bumper-to-bumper traffic, trying to find lodging, and taking a
chance with spin-off tornadoes along the way. So we continued to listen to
the weather reports, and praying for the safety of those who are on the
roads.
I watched in horror as the hurricane that was expected to hit Key West
made its way toward Ft. Myers and the little towns and cities along the
Gulf coast. As someone said, you almost expect a hurricane if your live
down around the keys, but to have the path of destruction run parallel to
the Tammiami Trail was a shock to many residents, unprepared until the last
minute for Charley''s fury.
One young mother emailed me and explained she didn''t know until it was
too late that they were in danger. She took her young infants, and took
shelter in the bathtub with a mattress to protect them. They listened as
both the hurricane and a tornado tore their home apart, leaving things in a
shamble. Yet, they were thankful they were spared.
Many others weren''t as fortunate as that young mother. We think of
Florida and see sunshine with oranges and grapefruit growing on trees along
the roads. Bright shiny pink flamingos still catch our eye as do the many
resorts and retirement areas, which appear along the water on both sides of
the state. I love the small towns and beaches along Port Charlotte, Punta
Gorda, Sanibel Island and Venice. The thought of almost 20 billion dollars
in damages is mind boggling.
I''m thankful that my parents were up north and didn''t have to go
through the stress and preparations of the mandatory evacuations. My
grandparents lived on the Tammiami Trail, and as a youngster and teenager,
I spent time on beautiful Venice Beach, shopping in the stores along the
streets divided by Palm trees. I am devastated when I think of the
tropical green ocean and peaceful jetties surrounding the area where folks
bask in the sun and look for shells, or sharks teeth, turning into an angry
gray color, tossing aimlessly along the shores and homes.
It was astonishing to think that after hitting the Gulf side and doing
so much damage and taking lives, that Charley continued upward and inland
to Arcadia where over 150 were injured and the town was reported to look
like a war zone.
We awakened to a beautiful sunny Saturday morning and quickly saw that
the hurricane was heading past Charleston and up the coast where flooding
and winds will surround many areas for the next several days. We are
praying for them, and all of those people who have lost loved ones in Punta
Gorda and surrounding areas.
The amount of time and money to clean up such a disaster is
incredible. We know other hurricanes will follow, and we realize that
along with the beauty of an area, there is often destruction. We pray for
those in Florida, that they will be able to rebuild and our friends in the
sunshine state will soon be able to see the golden rays again.
-- Diane Dean White <thelamb212 @ aol.com>

THE FUNNY THINGS KIDS SAY
Niccole, 5, returned from her first full day of kindergarten. "What
did you learn today?" her mother Rosemary asked. "Nothing!" Niccole said
with dismay. "They tried to teach me something I already knew!"
Donna, a substitute kindergarten teacher, was told she should begin
phonics with her students. She thought it was a little soon, but she began
phonics anyway. She spent a lot of time on the "B" sound. They said boat,
bed, boy, banana and many other words that begin with the letter "B." When
she was done, she asked the students, "Now what is the B sound?"
"BZZZZZZZZZZZZ!" one student quickly responded.
Kara always asked Stephen, 3, about how nursery school went that day.
She tried to ask open-ended questions, so that he wouldn''t answer with a
simple yes or no. "Oh Mom," Stephen said one time when Kara was asking him
about his morning. "Why don''t you just come and stay in the room and watch
me and then you wouldn''t have to ask so many questions!"
One night at a football game at a Christian school, Grady, 4, was
sitting beside his former Bible study teacher. As the cheerleaders were
cheering and raising their fingers for No. 1, Grady said, "I just love it
when they point to God!"
Debbie''s daughter, Danielle, 8, who had been learning about grammar in
second grade, added some new things to her prayer list. At night she
started asking the Lord "to bless all of the nouns in the world especially
the people and animal nouns."
When Nicholas was attending kindergarden, Jayme, 2, was anxious to
repeat anything he came home with. So it was no surprise when Nicholas was
learning "The Pledge of Allegiance", Jayme was determined to learn it also.
One day she got to the end and with a very bold voice, and her hand on her
heart, she stated, "with liberty and breakfast for all!"
When Frank was in sixth grade, he took peanutbutter and jelly
sandwiches to school every day. His mother finally asked him if he was
sick of them. He replied, "Heck no... they''re the best kind for trading."
Dorena, a kindergarten teacher at a Christian school, remembers when
her class was learning the Bible verse for the week, Proverbs 17:17: "A
friend loveth at all times." When one little girl recited it she proudly
stated: "A friend loves me at all times, PROZAC 17:17!"
Marsha was trying to teach the books in the New Testament of the Bible
to some kindergarteners. One boy told Marsha he was ready to say them by
himself. This is how he started: "Mattew, March, Muke, John, Acts and the
Letter to the Romantics!"
Dorothy Post, a former kindergarten teacher in Auburn, Indiana, used
to send home to parents funny things her students had said. This is one of
my favorites:
Little boy: At work, my mommy works on a puker.
Teacher: A what?
Boy: You know, a commode!
Teacher: Is she a plumber?
Boy: No, she mashes those keys that write on a TV set!
Bus drivers are to call children by their correct names unless told
otherwise by the student. A bus driver in Indiana picked up a boy named
"Thomas." The bus driver asked for permission to call the boy Tommy,
because he had heard his mother calling him that. "I prefer to be called
Thomas," the boy said. But he told the bus driver what everyone else calls
him. He had forgotten about dad so the bus driver asked him what his
father calls him. "Watch It, Pal!" Thomas replied.
Steven''s preschool class went on a field trip to the fire station.
The firefighter giving the presentation held up a smoke detector and asked
the class: "Does anyone know what this is?" Steven''s hand shot up and the
firefighter called on him. Steven replied: "That''s how Mommy knows supper
is ready!"
Mrs. Lewis was standing in line with her first grade students waiting
for them to take turns getting a drink and going to the bathroom. A
student came up to her and said, "Mrs. Lewis, someone said a bad word."
"What was the word?" Mrs. Lewis asked. (Sometimes students think a
word is bad and it really isn''t.)
"Well, it starts with a Q," the student said.
Mrs. Lewis thought and thought and couldn''t think of a bad word that
begins with Q. Finally she said to the student, "Tell me what it is."
"Oh, Mrs. Lewis, you know," the student said. "Quap!"

MOBY, THE DANCING GUPPY
by Jackie Maleck
Fur, fins or feathers... I''ve lived with, and loved them all.
It started out with a clam I found in a fish market when I was 4 years
old. I kept it in a little jar of water. The only trouble was that it''s
hard to tell when a clam goes to that "big clambake" in the sky.
My parents sensed that something was not quite right with Clam-entine,
when our home started smelling a bit like the Fulton Fish Market.
It progressed through the years... birds, reptiles, a wonderful dog,
cats. I''ve learned that all of these critters have their own unique
personalities, if only you take the time to watch and listen.
About two years ago I decided to add to my family with the ad***ion of
a tank of beautiful "show guppies" -- lovely creatures that are each as
unique as snowflakes.
I came out of the petshop with high hopes, a large bowl, and eight
beautiful guppy specimens -- 4 boys and 4 girls.
I set up the new home, while contemplating hours of relaxation just
watching these beatiful living gem stones glide through the water.
My dream started fading by the second day. One went belly up, then
two, and so on. Back to the pet shop I flew. Con***ioners, antibiotics,
special gourmet guppy food -- I tried it all, but to no avail!
Finally, I was down to one pathetic female. I did everything but hold
her hand! LIVE! Please little girl! Nope, she was doing the dead man''s
float early the next morning.
I was in the process of cleaning out the tank when I noticed an air
bubble dashing around. Upon closed inspection, I saw the tiniest little
eye looking at me! OH MY GOODNESS! Before mama exited this planet, she
presented me with a baby!
I was so thrilled I rushed back to the pet shop and bought live
plants, extra decorations and baby fish food. I was going to give this
little survivor every chance to reach guppy adulthood.
At about two months, I realized that I had a little girl. I named her
Moby, after a distant relative on her side of the animal kingdom.
Not only was my little girl flourishing, she recognized me! When I
approached her tank she did this crazy little guppy dance. She even
learned signals to give me, showing she wanted food. We were relating.
Moby remained a lone guppy for about a year. And then I thought,
"Dare I introduce a boyfriend?"
Back to the petshop for the prettiest male guppy I could find. And in
he went. Moby freaked!
She hid in the foliage and she stopped dancing. I thought perhaps
things would change after she realized that the little fellow only wanted
to be her friend (well, maybe he wanted a little more.)
Two weeks after introducing Ishmeal into the tank, he disappeared.
GONE! The question is still unanswered: Is Moby guilty of Guppicide?
It has been about three months now. Things are back to normal. Moby
is once again dancing whenever I approach her home.
I guess I''ll leave well enough alone and be content to live with this
solitary finny funny fish.
-- Jackie Maleck <Jammie @ socal.rr.com>

ANTS IN YOUR PANTS
by Betty King
Ants appear as innocent little fellows, I know.
Ants are hard workers, too, that''s for sure. There are 20,000 known
different species of the little critters. I don''t really care to be
introduced to them all, I can tell you that!
While living in Arizona, I became quite educated about red fire ants.
My grandchildren knew all about them, so naturally they taught me.
"Stay away from them! That was the advice I was given. They "BITE!"
Kaylin and Sam informed me.
Those ants would gather in the most unlikely places. Kaylin was stung
one day, sitting by the pool on the concrete. They actually sting, not
bite, and can be relentless in their aggressiveness to fend off what they
see as an intruder.
Fire ants are said to build their mounds in all types of soil, but it
appeared to me while living out west, they preferred the area around patios
and swimming pools!
Poor little Kaylin, they always seemed to find her. She would come
running, with red places all over herself, and complaining about the bites.
I learned to watch out for the critters. They were sneaky little guys,
though, and so small. They were often hard to see, until they snuck-up and
found you.
After coming back to Illinois, my husband, Bill, noticed some sawdust
on our backyard gazebo and kept wondering where it was coming from.
"Come here Betty," he said to me one day. "Look what I discovered."
"What is that?" I asked.
"We''ve got carpenter ants," he said.
"CARPENTER ANTS? What are carpenter ants?"
I thought it was just another attempt, on Bill''s part, to pull my leg.
You have to live with him to understand!
I had no idea what carpenter ants were, but I was soon educated about
their abilities, and how to get rid of them. Believe you me, I wasn''t the
one to take care of that problem. That''s what I keep Bill around for. If
it crawls, squirms or makes a weird noise, I call for Bill!
Every year it seems we meet up with a few ants of some kind or
another, no matter where we live. I think they have found our trail!
Well, this brings me to what happened the other night.
Bill and I had decided it was bedtime. He has to get up really early
to go to work and if I don''t want to listen to him snore on the couch we
have to retire fairly early.
Anyway, you know there are always those bedtime duties you have to
take care of. Bill had gone to one of our bathrooms to remove and take off
his spare parts and take care of his business, and I had gone to the other
bathroom.
I was sitting on the throne (I know, too much information, but it is
pertinent to this story.) Anyway, I happened to glance down and saw a BIG
ole black ant crawling along the edge of the shower!
Now, you have to understand, back when I could walk, I could take care
of a lot of those BIG issues myself, however, I don''t walk these days and I
don''t move very fast, either. And, folks that BIG ole black ant was moving
full speed ahead!
"YEEKS! HELP! BILL, COME HERE QUICK! HURRY!"
Well, Mr. Big Bad Life Saver came to my rescue, or so I thought.
"Bill, get that big ole ant!" I said in my most distressing feminine voice.
Bill knows a damsel in distress when he sees one. So he picks up
something and hits at that big ole black varmint. (Now, you must
understand, our shower is right next to the throne.)
"GET IT BILL!" I am good at giving out instructions.
Well, lo and behold, that ant disappeared. Bill knocked it to only
heaven knows where, until all of a sudden...
I looked down and there crawling on my underpants was that BIG OLE
BLACK ANT! Well you never saw an old handicapped woman move so fast in
all your life! I was a miracle in the making, right then and there. You
would have thought the hand of God had healed me instantly! I stood up and
proceeded to do the "heebee geebee" dance.
GET THAT THING BILL! FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! GET THAT THING! I''VE GOT
ANTS IN MY PANTS!"
Well, Bill began to laugh and I began to holler. I got rid of that
pair of pants faster that any striptease dancer you''ve ever seen!
We looked down and there were three or four more of those gigantic
varmints at my feet!
"I''m not sitting down on that thing again!" I said.
I was afraid those critters were sneaking up through the sewer lines.
One never knows from what direction ants will attack. I didn''t want to
take any chances.
Well, I lay there in bed later, listening to Bill snore, and begin
wiggling and squirming around. It woke him up.
"What''s the matter?" he asked.
"I keep feeling something crawling on my rear end," I informed him.
"It''s just your imagination," he said.
"Oh, that''s easy for you to say! You''ve never had ants in YOUR pants,
before!"
I finally got to sleep that night. So far, we haven''t see another one
of those critters crawling around anywhere. But I''ll tell you what -- that
experience gave a whole new meaning to the often heard phrase, "You''ve got
ants in your pants."
Just keep your eyes peeled, because I think there is an ant invasion
taking place in this town!
Yep, ants are another one of those things I really don''t like! YEEKS!
-- Betty King <baking2 @ charter.net>

THE FUNNY THINGS KIDS SAY
On the first day of school Bailey, 7, was asked where his mother
worked. He told them where she taught. Then they asked him where his
father worked. Bailey replied "Dad-A-Tronics!" He thought his dad worked
at "Dad-A-Tronics" rather than Data-Tronics! -- Utanah Williams
(grandmother of Bailey) of Pocahontas, Arkansas
When Haley (now in third grade) started kindergarden, she was really
excited when she learned all of the words to the Pledge of Allegience. She
would recite it whenever she had a chance. But it took a while for people
to convince her that it didn''t end "...with liberty and justice for all,
you may be seated." -- Amber (stepmom of Haley) of Georgia
Shiwani was working in the kitchen when her 3-year-old daughter
sneezed. Shiwani was lost in thought and forgot to say, "God bless you."
Her little girl came over and complained that she had not said, "God bless
you." Shiwani replied, "Oh, daughter, I want God to bless you ALWAYS!"
The little girl replied, "No, not ALWAYS because I don''t want to sneeze all
the time!" -- Shiwani Vadhera of Phoenix, Arizona
Jodi''s mother-in-law is one of those ladies who will sometimes keep
money in her bra instead of lugging along her purse when she does not have
any pockets. Apparently Jodi''s daughter, Sylvia, 4, had taken note of this
when she was around 2 or 3. One day Sylvia and Jodi were shopping, and it
was one of those days when they had lots of food samples. Jodi noticed
Sylvia did not have her napkin after she finished eating one of her
samples. She had put the napkin in her shirt! Unfortunately, when Jodi
asked her where it was, she had to dig all the way down to her waistband to
retrieve the napkin, as she proudly stated, "I''m keeping it in here, just
like Grandma!" -- Jodi Villarreal of St. Paul, Minnesota
Olivia, 3, went with her mother to the vegetable garden to see how
things were growing. While her mother was checking on the green beans,
Olivia decided to check out the zucchini. All of a sudden Olivia screamed,
"Oh, Mommy! The bikinis are HUGE!" -- Harriet Moyer (great-grandmother of
Olivia) of LaGrange, Indiana
Recently a fast food place had a hepatitis scare. Sue''s daughter had
eaten there and she had to have a shot along with about 3000 other people.
Sue''s grandson Jesse was over for a visit and Sue told him she had to take
their dog Duffy to the vet tomorrow for his shot. Sue''s grandson asked,
"Did Duffy eat fast food, too?" -- Sue Strausbaugh of Gas City, Indiana
Recently, the fifth grade moved to the old middle school building in
their school district. One day when they went to the restroom to wash
their hands before lunch, Angie''s girls came out and said that the hand
dryer was broken. Angie told them that she was sorry and that if they
would remind her, she would bring a roll of paper towels the next day in
case it wasn''t fixed yet. One little girl looked at Angie wide-eyed and
said, "Yeah, you''d better, ''cause napkins cost a quarter!" -- Angie Skaggs
(fifth grade teache), of Kentucky
Donna''s grandson, Jayce, 5, was having a push up ice cream treat. In
the process, his face got lots of red color added to it, making quite a
mess. His uncle''s girlfriend, Jessy, took him inside to clean the red off.
When she finished she asked him, "Did I get it all?" He answered, "All
except my lips, and they don''t come off!" -- Donna Johnson of Minnesota
Sherry''s daughter, Angel, 20 months, has learned to say "swim." One
dinner time she climbed onto the chair and started watching the dishes on
the table. Staring at the bean sprouts in the soup, she said, "They are
swimming!" -- Sherry Chen of Wuxi, China
Heather''s parents live next to train tracks. When they were at their
house this past weekend, a train carrying coal passed by. Keatyn, 7, said,
"There must be a lot of kids who have been bad. Look at all that coal they
are taking to Santa!" -- Heather (mother of Keatyn) of Humeston, Iowa
James and Tabitha are Jean''s 6-year-old twins. Jean had told them to
clean their room and of course they didn''t like that. James was cleaning
and Tabitha told him she didn''t want to clean any more. They started to
yell and Tabitha said, "I don''t like you anymore and I don''t want you for a
brother anymore." Then she stomped out of the room. James said, "Well,
good-bye and good ribbons to you!" He meant "good riddance!" -- Jean
Peterson of Manchester, New Hampshire

GREENER, ON THE OTHER SIDE
by Nancy B. Gibbs
A few months ago, Snowball, our nineteen-year-old dog passed away.
Her companion, Benjamin Franklin, grieved. My husband, Roy and I
noticed how Benjamin seemed even more sad and lonely as the days went by.
He slept most of the time and rarely played.
"Benjamin needs a friend," Roy announced one afternoon. I personally
didn''t want another dog, but I let Roy make the decision about whether or
not to welcome a new pet into the family.
About a month ago, a five-month-old yellow Lab, George "Dubyah" Bush
came to live with us. Benjamin Franklin and George "Dubyah" Bush hit it
off right away. They played together constantly.
There were two things, however, that caused squabbles between the two
of them. Benjamin didn''t want to share his house with Dubyah. Nor did he
want to share his food with his new friend.
The first time it rained, Dubyah stood outside Benjamin''s house
begging to get inside. Benjamin wouldn''t allow it. Roy felt sorry for
Dubyah. He went outside, in the pouring rain, and separated the two dogs.
He put a dog house on both sides of the yard. A fence divided their
separate areas. Roy ran back inside. We watched the dogs from the window.
Both dogs stood at the gate staring at one another. We initially
thought they didn''t like being separated. Roy ran back outside and like
any good master would do, he opened the gate.
Dubyah ran into Benjamin''s side of the yard and Benjamin ran into
Dubyah''s.
It turned out that both dogs thought the other had something he didn''t
have. Both dogs obviously thought the grass was greener on the other side
of the fence.
Aren''t we just like the two dogs? We are sometimes selfish and don''t
want to share. In ad***ion, we don''t appreciate the possessions we own
like we should. We want the better things we think the neighbors may have.
Many times, we believe that other people have been afforded greater
luxuries or happier lives than we.
So what can we do when our human nature kicks in and we feel somewhat
resentful about the treasures our neighbors possess? We can thank God for
the blessings He has given to us. In ad***ion, we can share our own
possessions with those who have less than us. By doing these two things,
we will find greater happiness than all the material possessions on earth
can give us. It is only when we completely appreciate what we have, and
give a portion of what we have to help someone else, that we will discover
perfect peace and contentment.
Benjamin Franklin now allows Dubyah to sleep in his house with him.
The two dogs have become great friends in just a few short weeks.
Likewise, when people learn to share with their neighbors, they will become
lifetime friends.
The grass may sometimes appear greener on the other side of the fence,
but we can be sure that the fertilizer, which will help our own grass grow
greener is made of nothing less than kindness, generosity, and love.
If we want greener grass, we should learn to love our neighbors.
-- Nancy B. Gibbs <Daiseydood @ aol.com>

LIKE HINDS'' FEET
by Lee Simonson
Joanna likes her tattoos.
The young woman from Williamsport, Pennsylvania, was a student at UCLA
a few years ago and became quite the athlete. After she won some races,
she went out and got a tattoo of a dove placed on her upper right thigh.
And why not? Her grandmother''s name was Dove, and Joanna''s middle
name is Dove. She even has the ceramic dove her grandmother gave her when
she was a girl.
But there is more to the story.
She was a rising track star, specializing in sprints and hurdles --
very fast races that saw the runners cross the finish line in seconds.
The dove also represented the birds that are released during the
opening ceremonies at the Olympics. In fact, she had the Olympic rings,
drawn in black, etched into her skin next to the dove. She told everyone
that if she ever realized her Olympic dream, she would add color to the
dove and the rings.
But fate took a cruel turn, and Joanna wasn''t good enough to qualify
for the 2000 Olympic games. Despite the best coaching and training, she
missed out. Moreover, she didn''t compete the year after because of an
injury. And, she decided to take the next season off to work a Boys and
Girls'' Club.
Joanna was out of sight, out of mind, and getting older. Not a good
thing in a sport that is constantly seeing ever younger competitors
grabbing the spotlight.
But her tattoo was a constant reminder of a dream she refused to give
up. As a young girl she grew up idolizing five-time Olympic medalist,
Florence Griffith-Joyner, who died in 1998. Joanna had told friends that
"Flo Jo" was the most beautiful and glamorous woman she had ever seen and
was her inspiration for running. Joanna would keep trying.
Last year, Joanna got back in the game and ran as fast as she could.
She came in 2nd place at the U.S. Nationals, and won the competition at the
2003 Pan Am Games. Like a phoenix, she was rising from the ashes, and back
with a vengeance.
Soon after, she finally qualified and earned her right to represent
the United States on this year''s Olympic team.
After waiting so long, could anyone actually stand in her way? Could
anyone steal her dream?
Well, yes.
She wasn''t the only fish in the big sea of track and field. In a
sport that separates the winners and losers by hundredths of a second,
Joanna wasn''t even favored to win in Athens.
Joanna, at age 27, was good, but maybe not good enough. There were
several athletes with equal or better records, including Canadian Per***a
Felicien, ranked #1 in the world. Per***a was not only 4 years younger,
but she even participated at the 2000 Syndey Olympics. She is a celebrity
in Canada and she was setting records all over the place. The icons of the
track world were crumbling at her feet.
Last week, the runners finally met on the track in Athens.
The best runners in the world were all in the same place, at the same
time, and about to do what they do best. All eyes were on Per***a, and
Joanna was just another face at the starting line.
The race would be finished in less than 13 seconds, and the world
would know who would take home the gold. The runners heard the starting
gun and they were off their marks in an instant.
But something bizarre happened. Despite practicing it thousands of
times, Per***a tripped over the first hurdle. Her sights were set on the
finish line, and yet, her foot caught on the hurdle and she fell to the
ground.
A moment later, Joanna Hayes dashed across the finish line and set a
new Olympic record of 12.37 seconds, breaking the previous 16-year record
by 1/100th of second. She didn''t even know that Per***a had fallen until
after the race was over.
Amazingly enough, the favorite in the men''s hurdles, Allen Johnson,
representing the USA, had a race the next day. He experienced the same
fate as Per***a, tripping on a hurdle near the end of the race. He was
sprawled on the track as he watched his opponents cross the finish line.
The man who went on to win the gold medal in that event, Liu Xiang from
China, actually asked Allen for his autograph a few years ago. Now maybe
Allen will be asking Liu for his autograph!
Two champions -- Per***a and Allen -- both defeated by the hurdles
they had spent years mastering.
The heartbroken Per***a will no doubt see brighter days ahead. One of
her friends said the experience would spur her on to prove she can break
the world''s record. And in four years, she will have another shot at the
gold when the Olympics are in China.
Sports are unpredictable. Life is unpredictable.
Anything can happen to anyone at anytime.
The strong can become weak, and the weak can become strong -- in the
blink of an eye. It''s the reason why "hope" is the most powerful word in
the English language. Sooner or later, we all have a shot at the gold.
Yes, Joanna likes tattoos. And she will color in the dove and the
Olympic rings. She also has another tattoo on her swift legs. It is a
passage from the second book of Samuel. It reads, "He maketh my feet like
hinds'' feet and setteth me upon my high places." (A hind is a female red
deer.) She learned that passage when she was younger and has used it for
inspiration since. She never lost hope.
Today, she wears her gold medal with pride and honor.
-- Lee Simonson, Publisher, Heartwarmers
<publisher @ heartwarmer.com>

THE FUNNY THINGS KIDS SAY
Friends of Debbi''s recently moved from Orlando to the town of St.
Cloud, which is less than a half hour''s drive south, on the other side of
Disney. When Debbi went to visit them last week, 7-year-old Connor asked
very seriously, "So how are things up there in Orlando?" Debbi told him,
"We are fine, but still cleaning up from the hurricane." "Yeah, Hurricane
Charley," he replied. "I remember that one. Now we''re getting ready for
Hurricane Fantasia." (He meant Frances, of course.) -- Debbi Armstrong of
Orlando, Florida
Here''s another one from Debbi. Coming home from school recently,
Debbi''s daughter Anna, 10, wanted to go for a swim. She tried,
unsuccessfully, to convince her sisters to go in the pool with her. She
complained that she really wanted to go swimming. "Go by yourself," Debbi
told her. Still whining, Anna replied, "I can''t go swimming by myself.
It''s as dumb as taking a bath!"
Holly, and her mom, Heidi, were grocery shopping when Holly saw they
had fajitas on sale. "Can we buy some fajitas for Daddy?" she asked. "He
really likes fajitas." Noticing that Holly had pronounced the "j" in the
word both times, and since Holly has been learning Spanish, Heidi corrected
her saying, "Remember, Holly, in Spanish you don''t pronounce the j --
instead, you say ''h'' for j." Holly nodded and repeated the word properly.
The two continued their shopping until they came to the frozen food aisle,
where Holly noticed the Jimmy Dean sausage, and said, "Can we buy Daddy
some Himmy Dean sausage, too? He really likes Himmy Dean." -- Cindy
Bevington (grandmother of Holly, who lives in Jacksonville, Fla.)
Lucas, 5, overheard his parents, Kelly and Brad, talking about
getting his younger brother, Jacob, 1, a haircut. But before they could
take Jacob to get his hair cut, Lucas decided to do the job himself and cut
a large chuck out of the front of Jacob''s hair. Kelly tried to explained
to Lucas that they always take him to the beauty shop to get his hair cut
and had planned to take Jacob there also. When Kelly asked why Lucas
didn''t wait so they could take Jacob to the beauty shop he replied, ''''Well,
Mom, I can''t drive!!'''' -- as told to Jan Richardson of Kendallville,
Indiana (Kelly''s mother) by Luke''s other grandparents, Barry and Paula
Graden
Karen, who is Native American Cherokee, was eating quiche with her
sons. Her 4-year-old wasn''t sure if he liked it or not. "What is it?" he
asked his mother. Karen told him it was called quiche. He turned to his
grandmother, who had made it, and said with a very serious face, "Tastes
more like Chera-quiche to me!" (Cherokee was the only word he had ever
heard that remotely sounded like quiche!) -- Karen Wright of Nevada
Paul Jason (PJ) was about 6 when he got into trouble. His father
scolded him at great length. Afterwards PJ just looked up at him and said,
"Dad, I wish you would cut me a piece of slack!" -- Paul Stamsen (PJ''s
father) of Delta, Colorado (PJ is now 19 and 6 feet, 2 inches tall, so his
father is doing the looking up these days!)
Bailey, 8, went with his grandmother to the hairdresser for a trim.
On the way they stopped and bought a fountain drink to take with them. His
grandmother decided it would be nice to take one to Linda, their
hairdresser, as well. As Bailey was sitting down in the chair in front of
Linda, his grandmother handed her the drink she had bought her. Linda
said, "Oh that was sweet of you." Bailey piped right up and said, "Just
take it off the bill!" -- Lyne Hitt (grandmother of Bailey) of Statesboro,
Georgia
Abigail, 5, just started kindergarten last week. She came home and
told her mother with great excitement that she was learning about erections
in school. Her mother was worried and asked her what she meant. Abigail
said, "It''s how to get to the playground and how to do my work. Her mother
figured out she was talking about directions! -- Amber (mother of Abigail)
in West Virginia
Joey, 7, was being grouchy about something. His grandmother told him,
"Joey, life is too short to be grouchy." He replied, "Not for me, it''s
not. I''m only in my sevens!" -- Peggy Rathfon of Lewisburg, Pennsylvania
A couple of years ago, Jackie was working at a daycare center. One
little boy was leaving with his mom when he saw a cake picture on the big
kids'' calendar. He asked his mother, "What''s that?" She told him, "That''s
a birthday cake; that''s Martin Luther King Jr.''s birthday." Then he said,
"Oh, well, maybe we can go to his house and have birthday cake!" -- Jackie
of Sonoma, California
Jackie remembers the same little boy was pinching everybody one day.
When she told him to stop, he said, "But I''m a crab!"

MORE THAN WIND AND RAIN
by Roger Dean Kiser
I guess my family and I were lucky this time around as Hurricane
Frances only grazed us.
Judy and I watched out the front window as winds of fifty miles per
hour blew the large tree limbs from side to side. I stood out on the front
porch recalling our own exodus during Hurricane Floyd in September of 1999.
As the wind subsided, I got into my truck and I drove about half a
mile to Interstate 95. I parked my vehicle and I stood above the freeway
watching -- thousands of cars, trucks, motor-homes, travel trailers and
buses lined the roadway for as far as the eye could see.
As children played, laughed and joked in the backseats, the parents''
expressions plainly showed a sign of fear and worry.
I remember when my family and I drove for hours, at five miles per
hour, to get away from Hurricane Floyd. I will never forget the chaos and
the confusion. Even then people would stop and help those who were out of
gas or stranded. I will never forget how much kindness Americans can show
to one another in a time of crisis.
I walked to the other side of the freeway overpass and I noticed
hundreds, upon hundreds, of utility trucks coming down the southbound
lanes, exiting at Exit 38. It was the staging area where the trucks waited
for the go ahead to begin their tasks of getting the electricity flowing
again.
The truck license plates were from Pennsylvania, Kentucky, Tennessee,
Virginia, and Ohio, to name a few.
I stood there with a little bit of a lump in my throat.
"Never thought I would get a lump in my throat from seeing a darn
utility truck," I mumbled to myself.
After thinking about the situation for several minutes I realized that
it was not the utility trucks at all -- it was seeing that America always
sticks together and that it always looks out for its own. It was no longer
a game about Ohio beating Florida or Mississippi beating Alabama. America
was a team and a team always works together.
I walked back to the other side of the freeway and I stood there
watching the north-bound traffic. I watched family after family pass under
me. Once in a while I would get a waive or a thumbs-up. I stood there
wondering how many of these families really understood the severity of the
situation. Yes, there was the hurricane itself and the possible
destruction to their homes. But what about everyday life?
The grocery stores, the gas stations, the hardware stores will all be
closed or just empty. There will be no food, gas, electricity or hardware
supplies for days, possibly even weeks. There will be no television or
video games for the children. There will be no food for the pets. There
will be no pizza or going out to McDonalds. It will take weeks to
reestablish these necessities and conveniences.
And what about the elderly who have no vehicle to drive themselves to
escape the storm''s wrath? Do they just sit in their darkened homes, afraid
and crying as the storm passes? What about those who are poor? Those who
do not have the money to reach safety? There must be many Americans in
that situation.
I thought about many things as I watched the traffic crawl beneath me.
Then my cell phone rang.
"Rog, this is Craig. We are really getting pounded down here Tampa.
We are right in the middle of this thing. By any chance do you have a can
opener on you?" he asked me.
"A can opener?" I replied.
"We grabbed the kids and we had to get out quick. The hurricane was
right on top of us within minutes. All that was left at the grocery store
was about twenty cans of tuna. That''s all we''ve got to eat," he told me.
I told him to take his pocket knife and use it to open the cans.
"Roger, you wouldn''t believe it. There are catfish swimming around in
the parking lot. I have to admit, I''m really scared. I waited too long to
get out. I''m really scared for my family," said Craig.
As I was about to speak we were disconnected.
I stood there contemplating the entire situation. Everything from the
families caught in this hurricane, to the catfish swimming in the parking
lot. And then I thought of the hundreds of American corporations who
donate millions in supplies, and the countless number of Americans who
donate millions more in cash to help the Red Cross. The team work to put
the pieces back together is amazing -- the true spirit of America.
I thank God that there is so much more to a hurricane than just the
wind and rain -- it''s also people who help one another in a crisis.
-- Roger Dean Kiser <trampolineone @ webtv.net>

TURKEY TALES
by Sandy Martin
As happens every fall, the turkeys come back to our yard from wherever
they have spent the hot summer months.
In early spring, two years ago, we had 2 hens, each with a set of 4
babies. One bunch was just a bit bigger than the other so we could tell
them apart.
After a big windstorm in July, they left and we did not see them again
until last of September. But now there were only 8 turkeys. As near as we
could tell, there was still one mom and 7 younger ones.
They had grown so much over summer that it was hard to tell the
younger from the older birds. We could pick out the remaining mom turkey
though. She was the one who would always keep an eye out for danger.
I had some Indian corn on the cob that the neighbor had given to us to
plant. I did not want it to cross breed with our sweet corn so I never
planted it. I put it in a box, thinking it would make good turkey food.
The turkeys had been back for a few days and since they were born here and
we worked around them earlier, they were not afraid of us. I decided to
try to feed them some of the shelled corn. I walked out and they backed
off a bit. When I threw the corn, they backed off a bit more but then
began pecking at it. I only gave them a few handfuls and then went back in
the house.
As the week progressed, I continued to feed them a few handfuls of
corn each evening. It only took a few days for them to learn that I was
the person with the food!
One afternoon, I could see them way across our field where they had
just crossed the highway. As it so happened, I had a snack for the cats
that day and I called. "Here kitty, kitty, kitty" to get all 4 cats over to
the porch.
Well, my voice must have carried clear across the field because all 8
turkeys headed straight to my house on a run. It was so funny to see.
They did not want to miss out on their snack either.
Naturally, I got out the corn box and fed them. By this time, I could
stand right in the middle of them and they would not be afraid at all. So
the feeding went on for probably two weeks.
Then one morning, I went out to feed the cats as I do each morning
when I get up. I could hear the turkeys making a lot of sounds just over
the hill to the east. It was the sound they make when they are calling to
one another. It seemed strange to me because I had never heard them call
like that in the morning.
Then, just as we were just sitting down to breakfast, we noticed that
all the turkeys were back in the yard. They seemed to be milling around
just outside the dining room window. A couple even jumped up on the porch
railing which they had never done before. My husband said that it was like
they were trying to get our attention and we both thought it was strange.
I told my husband that I had heard them making a racket just over the
hill earlier that morning. He said that he feared that one of them had
been run over.
Sure enough, we only counted 7. They milled around the yard for a
while. In the meantime, he walked up to get the mail. When he came back,
he said that there was a dead turkey on the road. It was just so eerie
that they would come back to tell us or as he put it, "to see if we could
do anything about it!"
Later than usual that morning, they went on with their ritual of going
across the highway to the east. That evening, they came back and I fed
them more corn. We could tell from the way they acted, that it was the
other mom who had gotten run over.
So now the young ones were on their own. I won''t feed them much
longer because when weather gets colder and snow begins, they will gather
with all the other wild turkeys and head down into the small canyons to be
protected from the weather.
We''ve learned over the years we''ve watched them, that they aren''t just
dumb turkeys.
-- Sandy Martin <smarte34 @ msn.com>