Vietnamese poems and their translations

Quả mít
Hồ Xuân Hương
Thân em như quả mít trên cây,
Da nó sù sì, múi nó dày.
Quân tử có yêu thì đóng cọc,
Xin đừng mân mó nhựa ra tay.


Jackfruit
translated from the Vietnamese by John Balaban

My body is like the jackfruit on the branch:
My skin is coarse, my meat is thick.
Kind Sir, if you love me, pierce with your stick
Caress me and sap will slicken your hands.






Tao_lao

more by Dinh Linh
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Thank Milou for your nine interesting poems.
Tao_lao

A poem I made when reading ur poem in order to "họa thơ" with you... (^_^) sorry if it's too... hi hi... just kidding...
Quả...vú sữa
Thân anh như dzú sữa trên cây,
Da nó trơn tru, lõi nó dầy.
Nương tử có thương thi` nhét bị,
Xin đừng xoa nắn, sữa ra tay.
Get a life, get alive...
Được himurakenshin sửa chữa / chuyển vào 03:19 ngày 15/10/2002
Được himurakenshin sửa chữa / chuyển vào 03:29 ngày 15/10/2002
Được himurakenshin sửa chữa / chuyển vào 14:41 ngày 15/10/2002

Hallo em mập,
Well-done...hihihi...I have enjoyed your poem.The idea of the poem is interesting:comparing a jackfruit and a star apple which stimulate the imaging of the readers...hihihi.
However i have got pain in my neck during reading it.Hopefully,my 2 cents ideas will not make you sick.
Firstly,that is the vocabulary using in the poem.Im my opinion, if " anh đây" is replaced "thân ânh" (like the poem by Lady Hồ Xuân Hương) it sound better and more meaningful.
Secondly,the rhythmic laws of Tang poetry (Đường Thi) was not obeyed strictly.The second line broke the law "nhị tứ lục phân minh".I suspose that this line ruined the interesting idea ("tuy"did not sound very smooth also).In ad***ion,the rhythme for a "hoạ thơ" poem (the poem respond to a poem) was not followed correctly: "cây,dày,tay" for the first one and "cây, đầy,tay" for the other.
Last but not least, the verb "đóng cọc" used in the first poem was wonderful.Two steps need to do for enjoying jackfruit "mân mó" and "đóng cọc".The same thing for star apple "xoa nắn" (the word you used) and "bỏ bị".In my opinion,"bỏ bị" does not respond "đóng cọc" properly. Can you choose another verb?I think there are some verbs doing this job better (remember how to enjoy the star apple..hihihi).
Anyway, it is just for fun.Kenshin,why do not you translate your poem into English.I think translating help us improve both of Vietnamese and English at the same time. That is one of reasons i opened this topic.
I am waiting for the translation from you and poetry lovers.Thank you for your reading.
Tao_lao
Được tao_lao sửa chữa / chuyển vào 12:22 ngày 15/10/2002