Weeken Story!

I''m not eating any more chicken...
A little boy and girl at school were having lunch in the shelter shed. "Tommy," she said, "I''m not eating any more chicken sandwiches." "Why?" he asked. "''Cause I''m starting to grow feathers down here," she said, pointing to the bottom of her tummy. "I don''t believe you," he said. "You''ll have to show me." Behind the shed they went, where the inspection took place. "Gee, you''re right," he said. "I''ve been eating a lot of chicken also. Perhaps I''m getting feathers too." "Well, I''d better have a look," she said. After a lengthy examination, she looked up and said, "Oh, I think it''s too late for you. You''ve got the neck and giblets too."
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Can''t we just make his legs longer?
There was a young man who was so well-endowed that it was bothering his knee. Three doctors and one nurse were in the operating room to remedy the situation. The first doctor said, "We''ll just take a big hunk off the end." They discussed it and decided that would affect his sensitivity. The second doctor said, "We''ll just take a big hunk out of the middle of it." They discussed it and decided it would change the texture and feel of it. The third doctor said, "We''ll just take a big hunk off the base of it." They discussed it and said that would give him erection problems. The doctors looked at the nurse who had tears running down her cheeks. The nurse cried, "Can''t we just make his legs longer?"
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E-Mail Errors..
It''s wise to remember how easily this wonderful technology can
be misused, sometimes unintentionally, with serious consequences.
Consider the case of the Illinois man who left the snow-filled
streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a
business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day.
When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a
quicke-mail. Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had
written her e-mail address, he did his best to type it in from
memory.
Unfortunately, he missed one letter, and his note was directed
instead to an elderly preacher''s wife, whose husband had passed
away only the day before. When the grieving widow checked her
e-mail, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing
scream, and fell to the floor in a dead faint.
At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note
on the screen:
Dearest Wife,
Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival
tomorrow.
PS. Sure is hot down here.
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When I get big, fat, and juicy...
There was a cucumber, a pickle, and a ***** sitting around talking about how their lives sucked. The cucumber "Man, my life sucks. When I get big, fat, and juicy, they cut me up and stick me on a salad." The pickle looks at him and says, "You think you have it bad? When I get big, fat, and juicy, they stick me in vinegar, put spices on me, and stick me in a jar." The ***** looks at him and says, "You think you have it rough? When I get big, fat, and juicy, they stick a rubber tarp on my head, stick me in a dark room, and bang my head against the wall until I throw up and pass out!."
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BOY : May I hold your hand?
GIRL : No thanks, it isn''t heavy.
GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY : You love me... !
GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, what''s your phone number??
GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY : Then marry me and we''ll be the happiest couple
GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
BOY : Don''t you ever want to improve??
BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL : How soon??
BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!
GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there??
SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning kiss??
TRACY : I did once. He''d forgotten to take the cigarette out of his mouth.
MAN : You remind me of the sea.
WOMAN : Because I''m wild, romantic and exciting?
MAN : NO, because you make me sick
WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other.
HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth.
MUPMIP

Một cô bé kiêu hãnh bước vào cửa hàng để mua mấy thứ để làm cái áo cho con búp bê của mình.
Khi ra quầy trả tiền, cô bé hỏi người bán hàng, "Cái này giá bao nhiêu vậy bác?"
"Với một cô bé dễ thương như cháu", người bán hàng (cảm giác có vẻ rộng lượng) "ta chỉ cần một nụ hôn thôi".
"Cảm ơn bác" cô bé đáp. "Bà cháu bảo là dù là gì, cái giá phải trả, thì ngày mai bà cháu sẽ tới và trả nó".
Nguyên bản tiếng Anh:
A little girl walked proudly into a dry goods store to buy material for a dress for her doll.
When she came to the cash register she asked, ?oWhat does this cost?"
"For a sweet little girl like you," replied the man (feeling generous)"I''''ll charge only one little kiss."
"Thanks" replied the tot. "Grandma said whatever it is, to charge it and she''''ll be by tomorrow to pay for it."
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