Who can make corrections to my essay? (An EC's member need help!)

Some student want to attend a university in their home country, others desire to finish their university education abroad. Which do you think is a better way to get university education? Why? Give specific reason.
For many students in my country, university education is a crucial factor *****ccess in the future. In my home country, Students have to pass an exam to enter university and this exam is quite difficult. Others choose to study abroad where they can learn from both the advance theory and the develop social. I personally think that the latter is the better one.
If student stay in their home country, the life seems to be easier. They live near their family and when they confront the difficulty family might help them to solve problems. In college, they study in native language and it is really simpler than learning in foreign language. If their family is the middle class, their parents may give them enough money until they graduate university. They just need to concentrate to their work in college and get the best scores.
On the other hand, student study abroad must face to many difficulties. They are too far from their parents and in many cases the financial aid from their family is limited. Therefore, a student needs to find a job to cover their fee from school to real life. However, I think itâ?Ts a good chance for them to improve their ability to live independently, which is a crucial skill for success in the future. They could enjoy the life in campus with convenient library, class, advanced technology and meet various people from different culture. Moreover, they could learn from the advanced education whose theory is very practical. When they return their home country, the advance skill they gain from learning is appreciated. They could also gain much more experience from develop social life and this lesson will be essential to apply to their own country.
In sum, each person could choose their best way based on their own situation. But I prefer studying abroad because their profits outweigh their disadvantages. The life may hard in the beginning but it will return the success once you can overcome these obstacles.

Some people enjoy change, and they look forward to new experiences. Others like their lives to stay the same, and they do not change their usual habits. Which approach do you prefer? Explain why.
For many young people, change is a chance to experience something new, and they appreciate that very much. As people get older and meet many difficulties and failures, they may lose their need of changing and want to have a stable life. I am a very young man, I have many chance and my long future ahead and Iâ?Tm eager to learn fresh and chanlleng thing.
The world is changing day by day, change is a crucial factor to make human different from other animals. When prehistoric people use stone tools to do all their work they might think of something new to change their productivity and they develop the new material easier to produce foods. Itâ?Ts the process of changing. In our modern world today, we can see many new invents of people everywhere in the world everyday. No matter itâ?Ts useful or useless, people appreciate the creativity of these inventors. They are different from other average people in a fundamental character: they always want to change the existing product. For average person, if one can not change to adapt to new modern world and technologies, he will be discarded. No enterprise wait for employee to realize this fact, if one can not use the new technologies and have no ideas to improve productivity, its time for him to be dismissed.
When we are young, its better that we have as many experiences as possible. We could try many aspects of life to find out our strong and weak point. When we get older, we may have not chance to do this anymore because we are most intelligent, strongest in young age. Though, changing is a crucial issue of a young man.
Some people may say that they want to stay the same because of its stability and balance. They donâ?Tt want to face with difficulties and want their life with lowest risk, they may not have failure by doing this but they will never taste the delicious fame of victory also.
In conclusion, each person can choose their best way for their own situation. I prefer to enjoy the change even the failure its may cause and the victory of winner after overcoming many difficulties. If one do not meet the failure he could not taste the sweet of the happiness. Is this true?

Some people enjoy change, and they look forward to new experiences. Others like their lives to stay the same, and they do not change their usual habits. Which approach do you prefer? Explain why.
For many young people, change is a chance to experience something new, and they appreciate that very much. As people get older and meet many difficulties and failures, they may lose their need of changing and want to have a stable life. I am a very young man, I have many chance and my long future ahead and Iâ?Tm eager to learn fresh and chanlleng thing.
The world is changing day by day, change is a crucial factor to make human different from other animals. When prehistoric people use stone tools to do all their work they might think of something new to change their productivity and they develop the new material easier to produce foods. Itâ?Ts the process of changing. In our modern world today, we can see many new invents of people everywhere in the world everyday. No matter itâ?Ts useful or useless, people appreciate the creativity of these inventors. They are different from other average people in a fundamental character: they always want to change the existing product. For average person, if one can not change to adapt to new modern world and technologies, he will be discarded. No enterprise wait for employee to realize this fact, if one can not use the new technologies and have no ideas to improve productivity, its time for him to be dismissed.
When we are young, its better that we have as many experiences as possible. We could try many aspects of life to find out our strong and weak point. When we get older, we may have not chance to do this anymore because we are most intelligent, strongest in young age. Though, changing is a crucial issue of a young man.
Some people may say that they want to stay the same because of its stability and balance. They donâ?Tt want to face with difficulties and want their life with lowest risk, they may not have failure by doing this but they will never taste the delicious fame of victory also.
In conclusion, each person can choose their best way for their own situation. I prefer to enjoy the change even the failure its may cause and the victory of winner after overcoming many difficulties. If one do not meet the failure he could not taste the sweet of the happiness. Is this true?

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Attending a live performance (for example, a play, concert, or sporting event) is more enjoyable than watching the same event on television. Use specific reasons and examples *****pport your opinion.
I totally agree with the idea of attending a live performance is better than just watching it through television. The reason is when you attend in a live event you can feel much better the real environment, you can share your opinion directly and you may have a chance to participate actively in this event.
We can consider a football match of national team as an exemple. If you choose to watch through TV you can sit in comfortable sofa with a beer and enjoy you alone. It is quite boring if you really know what dynamic atsmosphere in the stadium. When the athem of your country begin you feel you are a great fan of football and your national team and you may cry when over one hudred thousands of people altogether sing the song. This feelling is incomparable. You can bring with you your national flag and you can cry *****pport your team until you lose your voice completely. Your eyes could see obviously your favourite player control the ball over other defenders, your ears could hear the great voice of tamboo and people around you, such a great feelling. It is great thing that you never have if you just watching throught television.
For another example, have you ever wonder why the ticket of a live concert is so expensive like that. It is because the great feeling a live performance can bring back to you. You imagine you are in the concert performing a great symphony of your favourite composer, you can applause and share your opinions with other audiences. You even can ask artist to play a song you want to or you can give them some flower to express your apreciation, if you lucky enough you may have a signature of your favourite artist. By this way you can participate actively in this performance that you may not have by watching television.
In conclusion, the advantages of attending in a live performance are undebatable. You not only feel the reality environment but also can attend actively in the process.

Hey bro, sis....
Why you dont reply me, please give me some comments and grades if not my essay writting preparation is worthless....
I have a little time just about 4 days remains... what should i do if i dont have any idea about what kind of my writing is?...
So... please help me... Thank you all
Some people prefer to work for themselves or own a business. Others prefer to work for an employer. Would you rather be selfemployed, work for someone else, or own a business? Use specific reasons to explain your choice
For many people, work for an employer is one way to have a stable life in the middle class of social. As an ambitious man, I prefer to own a business and work hard to develop it and become rich. The reason of my choice is to have a huge amount of money for myself, to contribute service directly to social and make my country richer.

Long time ago, in the view of many people in Vietnam, businessman is one of the lowest class in social. It may be one of reasons to answer why my country is ranked in one of the poorest countries in the world. To change this bad status, we young need to spend more efforts on the private sector, which mean owning a company, this is also encouraged by our government. One of the obvious benefits to own a business is that if you are good competitor you could get rich easily. Money is not all things but it is one of the crucial factor determining whether you have happyness or not. If you work for an employer and receive salary monthly, I am sure that you will never have a chance to become rich.
Secondly, by owning your own business, you may have more responsibility in your work. If you work for someone else, you may not concern about the productivity, even you want to work as little as possible and gain as much as possible. This may destroy your personality, you will find some way to conceal your poor ability and steal from the other in different level. If you really work for you, if you do not work you will have nothing to eat, then you have to work harder to earn money and offer service to other. I think this way contribute better to the social.
In conclusion, I deeply believe that owning a business is the best way to work. You can not only get rich for yourself but also serve better for social. This can be the best way to get happiness in your long life.

Lâu rồi không viết lách gì. Hôm qua vừa viết một bài essay ( thấy chật vật không chịu được). Bạn nào góp ý hộ tớ với nhé. Đặc biệt là về ngữ pháp và cấu trúc nhé.
Present a writen argument or case to an educated reader with no specialist knowledge of the following statement:
Modern technology has increased material wealth but not happiness.
......
Thanks to the development of modern technology, the society has been changing extensively with each passing day. Some pessimistic people are concerned about these changes that have increased material abudance but not happiness. However, other people, myself included, firmly believe that material wealth and happiness can be perfectly compatible in the age of technology revolution.
The first reason is that technology development has led to the improvement of living standard. Therefore, people have much more free time to enjoy their life. For example, accountants with computer - aided calculating function nowadays can spend less amount of time on work than they used to in the past. So, their working hours must be shortened inspite of their unchanged or eventually increased income. Consequently, they certainly have much more time to share with their families, caring for their children, joining in favourite social activities... All things which are mentioned above play an important role in contribution to an individual''s physical and mental life. They are fundamental roots of happiness indeed.
Futhermore, it is admited that surprised advantages of modern technology have also satisfied many passionate dreams of human kind. For example, the biotechnology helps many older couples have their own child by artificial insemination. Also, biotechnology achievements promise *****pply an abundant variety provision of foods to deal with the starvation. More simplistically, with only the internet - connected computer, people can communicate with all the world, reading ebooks, watching films, listening to music... Especially, they can do these coincidently and without moving to anywhere else.
In summarise, I am convinced that modern technology has brought us not only material wealth but also happiness. However, to exploit these advantages more effectively, people should use them for proper purposes, instead of negative purposes, such as, using computer to hack the secret information or using biotechnology in the war, destroying the environment.

Hi Artox,
Here''s the revision. I have applied "the shorter and more concise the better" writing method.
Modern technology has increased material wealth but not happiness.
......
Thanks to the development of modern technology, our society has been changing extensively. Some people are pessimistic about these changes that produced material wealth and not happiness. However, others, myself included, firmly believe that material wealth and happiness can perfectly co-exist in this technology revolution age.
First, technology development has led to better living standard, and people have much more free time to enjoy their life. For example, PC-equipped accountants nowadays can spend less time at work than they used to. Earning the same income while being able to work less allows people time to share with their families, to care for their children, or to join their favourite social activities. All these things play an important role in contribution to an individual''s physical and mental well-being. They are the foundation of happiness indeed.
Futhermore, it has been shown that terrific achievements of modern technology have also helped human kind''s many dreams come true. For example, the biomedical technology has made many older couples able to have their own child by artificial insemination. Also, biotechnology gives hope for an abundance of food supply to deal with hunger caused by possible future overpopulation. A simple and everyday tool, the internet helps people connected with the world, reading ebooks, watching films, and listening to music... All these activities can be done simultaneously, and without having to leave one''s desk.
In summary, I am convinced that modern technology has brought us not only material wealth but also happiness. However, to take these advantages from technology to the fullest, people should not abuse them. In fact there are individuals who have used modern technologies for evil purposes. Internet hackers, computer virus spreaders, mass-destruction weapon suppliers, and biochemical-weapon pharmacologists are just a few examples. If we can control these individuals'' activities somehow, modern technology should become a good companion to a world full of happiness.
Được hbae787 sửa chữa / chuyển vào 03:43 ngày 22/10/2004

I am going to take IELTS soon, and today I post my esay. Hope that some of you will correct it for me. Thanks.
In the field of industrial relation, employeesõ?T going on strike is not a valid way of resolving conflict. There are better approaches to resolving differences in the workplace.
I entirely agree that in the industrial area, going on strike from employees is not a useful way to settle the conflict between managers or employers and employees. There are several peaceful solutions to offer viewpoint of employer and worker other than strike so that solution can be reached without serious disagreement.
Going on strike is an extreme activity and it is never proved that strike brings the sweet acceptance on any matter to both sides. If the employees insist on striking, they of course do harm to the factory where they are working or earn a living. Any day of striking passes, the factory in general and the manager in particular bears much loss. And it finally affects the employeesõ?T salary. Furthermore, strike also makes the factory unstable and creates very bad image to customers who may not give any purchase order, as they know well that the factory suffering from a strike cannot produce qualified products.
Thus, what are the better approaches to put an end to the conflict? When working for any factory, the employeesõ?T right is represented by Union. It is advisable that whenever the employees disagree with the boss about any matter like salary, working time, bonus õ?Ưit is better for them to inform the situation to the Union in advance. The Union with good knowledge on protecting the right for employees surely finds out the peaceful way to get out of the conflict. Another way is that the employees temporarily accept the loss as salary cut, overtime working, and then they are going to ask for salary rise. Before doing this, the employees should put themselves in the position of manager and ask whether our factory is being influenced from global economic recession. And when the factory recovers from the recession, the workers need to ask for their demand via the mediator, the Union.
In conclusion, in the field of industrial relation, the benefit of employees and employer is related to each other. Going on strike is not a good way to solve the conflict if the benefit of employees is affected. They should believe in the peaceful methods as mentioned above because finally the strike may cause bad thing for the employees themselves.
(370 words - 40õ?T)

Hi Cungtrang,
Here you go.
I entirely agree with the statement that in an industrial environment, going on strike by employees is not a useful way to settle the conflict between them and managers (or employers). There must be peaceful ways to resolve the differences between the workers'' and the employer''s opinions other than strikes so that solution can be reached without serious consequences.
Going on strike is such an extreme action. It has never been proved that strike can bring about the desired result on any matter to either side. If the employees insist on striking, they of course do harm to the factory where they are working for a living. As any day of striking passes, the factory in general and the manager in particular bears much loss, and it finally affects the employeesõ?T salary. Furthermore, strike also can make the factory''s business unstable and create negative image to customers who will become hesitant in sending purchase orders, as they know well that an on-strike factory would not likely produce quality products.
Then what are the better approaches to put an end to the conflict ? In most companies, the Union serves as employees'' representative. Whenever the employees have concerns about salary, working time, bonus õ?Ư, it is best for them to file a complaint with the Union. The Union, with good knowledge on protecting the right for employees, will likely find out a peaceful way to get the workers what they want and avoid the conflict. Another solution can be applied when the company is proven to be under an economic crisis either locally or globally. Without necessary cost reduction measures, the company won''t survive. Therefore the employees must temporarily accept a salary cut or work overtime *****pport their company, and then wait for the company''s recovery when they can ask for a raise via a mediator, the Union.
In conclusion, in industrial relations employees and employer have mutual benefits. When resolving an employer-workers conflict, one must use productive, constructive and peaceful means. Going on strike can only serve as last resort if everything else fails because normally strike will cause more harm than good. As employer take a loss resulted from the strike, workers'' benefits will also be affected. Before going on any strike, all peaceful methods as mentioned above must be exhausted because a strike will have an adverse effect on the employees themselves eventually.

mynga
,VietnamThành viên từ 17:55, 28/04/04Chưa có ai bình chọn    Quản lý thành viên
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