Who is GOD?

WHO'S GOD?

Little Johnny goes up to his mother and asks, "Is God male or female?"
After thinking for a moment, his mother responds, "Well, honey, God is both male and female."
This confuses the little boy, so he asks, "Is God black or white?" "Well,God is both black and white."
This further confuses the boy so he asks, "Is God gay or straight?" At this the mother is getting concerned, but answers none the less, "Honey, God is both gay and straight."
At this the boy's face lights up with understanding and he triumphantly asks, "Mom, is God MICHAEL JACKSON?"

"Two guys are sitting on a bar stool. One starts to insult the other one. He screams, 'I slept with your mother!'"
The bar gets quiet as everyone listens to see what the second guy will do.
"The first again yells, 'I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!'
"The other says, 'Go home dad, you're drunk."'