Women and Men - Jokes

1. Women are unpredictable. Before marriage, she expects a man, after marriage she suspects him and after death she respects him.
2. There was this guy who told his woman that he loved her so much that he would go through hell for her. They got married and now he is going through hell.
3. A man inserted an advertisement in the classifieds: ?owife wanted?. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: ?oYou can have minê?
4. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new of the wife.
5. It?Ts easy to tell if a man is married or not. Just watch him drive a car with a woman sitting beside him. If both his hands are on the wheel, you can be sure he is married.
6. A man received a letter from some kidnappers. The letter said: ?oIf you don?Tt promise to send us $100000 I swear that we will kidnap your wife.? The poor man wrote back: ?oI am afraid I can?Tt keep my promise but I hope you will keep yours.?
7. -What?Ts the matter? You look depressed.
-I?Tm having trouble with my wife.
-What happened?
-She said she wasn?Tt going to speak to me for 30 days.
-But that ought to make you happy.
-I did! But today is the last day.
8. Little monkey asks his Mother: ?oWhy do we look so ugly?? The Mother monkey gently replies: ?oGod created us as what we look like now. But don?Tt worry dear. We are not the ugliest creatures he created.? Little monkey surprised: ?oSo what creature is the ugliest one in the world?? Mother monkey smiles: ?oThe one reading this.?