World's Funniest Joke Is Named And It Takes Place In New Jersey

World's Funniest Joke Is Named And It Takes Place In New Jersey

Oct 3, 2002 10:10 am US/Eastern
(CBS)-(LONDON)-Drum roll, please õ?" an online search for the world's funniest joke has produced a winner.

In a year-long experiment called LaughLab, a British psychology professor asked thousands of people around the world to rate the humor value of a list of jokes; they could also add their own favorites.

In December, Richard Wiseman and his associates announced the front-runner, a hoary old gag involving fictional detective Sherlock Holmes and his sidekick, Dr. Watson. But in the final tally of some 2 million votes for 40,000 jokes, announced Thursday, a new joke emerged as a round-the-world rib-tickler:


"A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head.

"The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: 'My friend is dead! What can I do?'

"The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: 'Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.'

"There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: 'OK, now what?'"

"Many of the jokes submitted received higher ratings from certain groups of people, but this one had real universal appeal," said Wiseman, who has published a book based on the experiment.

Wiseman, who teaches at the University of Hertfordshire in southern England, said the research revealed that different countries preferred different types of jokes. Respondents were asked to rate jokes on a five-point scale from "not very funny" to "very funny."

Germans were the most likely to find all types of jokes funny, while Canadians were the least amused of the 10 top responding nations.

The British, Irish, Australians and New Zealanders favored jokes involving wordplay, while continental Europeans liked jokes with a surreal bent. Americans and Canadians preferred jokes invoking a strong sense of superiority õ?" either because a character looks stupid or is made to look stupid by someone else.

Among the jokes favored by Americans:

"Texan: 'Where are you from?'

"Harvard graduate: 'I come from a place where we do not end our sentences with prepositions.'

"Texan: 'OK, where are you from, jackass?'"

Wiseman said jokes work "for lots of different reasons. They sometimes make us feel superior to others, reduce the emotional impact of anxiety-provoking situations or surprise us because of some kind of incongruity."

The winning joke about the hunters, he said, "contained all three elements."

Computer analysis also threw up a number of arcane humor "facts." Not all animal jokes, for example, are created equal õ?" jokes mentioning ducks were rated as funnier than other jokes.

And length matters. Jokes containing 103 words were thought to be especially funny. The winning joke is 102 words long.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Top Jokes In Different Countries

United Kingdom:

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: õ?oThat's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!õ? The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: õ?oThe driver just insulted me!õ? The man says: õ?oYou go right up there and tell him off õ?" go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you.õ?

United States:

The American data proved to be somewhat strange. Dave Barry is a well known humourist whose columns are syndicated in many American newspapers. In January 2002 he kindly devoted an entire column to LaughLab. At the end of the column he urged readers *****bmit jokes that simply ended with the punch line:

õ?~There's a weasel chomping on my privates.õ?T

Within just a few days we had received over 1500 õ?~weasel chompingõ?T jokes.

One weasel joke scored very highly in the USA and almost became the funniest joke in America. Here it is:

At the parade, the Colonel noticed something unusual going on and asked the Major: õ?oMajor Barry, what the devil's wrong with Sergeant Jonesõ?T platoon? They seem to be all twitching and jumping about.õ?

õ?oWell sir,õ? says Major Barry after a moment of observation. õ?oThere seems to be a weasel chomping on his privates.õ?

However, ignoring the weasels, the top American joke wasõ?Ư

A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: õ?oWow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.õ? The man then replies: õ?oYeah, well we were married 35 years.õ?

Canada:

When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300 C. The Russians used a pencil.

Australia:

This woman rushed to see her doctor, looking very much worried and all strung out. She rattles off: õ?oDoctor, take a look at me. When I woke up this morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my hair all wiry and frazzled up, my skin was all wrinkled and pasty, my eyes were bloodshot and bugging out, and I had this corpse-like look on my face! What's WRONG with me, Doctor!?õ?
The doctor looks her over for a couple of minutes, then calmly says: õ?oWell, I can tell you that there ain't nothing wrong with your eyesight....õ?

Belgium:

Why do ducks have webbed feet?
To stamp out fires.
Why do elephants have flat feet?
To stamp out burning ducks.

Germany:

A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. The soldier would pick up any piece of paper he found, frown and say: õ?oThat's not itõ? and put it down again. This went on for some time, until the general arranged to have the soldier psychologically tested. The psychologist concluded that the soldier was deranged, and wrote out his discharge from the army. The soldier picked it up, smiled and said: õ?oThat's it.õ?


<:3~~ <:3~~ <:3~~ <:3~~