You Know You're Getting Older When...

- You and your teeth don't sleep together.

- Your try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you aren't wearing any.

- At the breakfast table you hear snap, crackle, pop and you're not eating cereal.

- Your back goes out, but you stay home.

- You wake up looking like your driver's license picture.

- It takes two tries to get up from the couch.

- Happy hour is a nap.

- You're on vacation, and your energy runs out before your money does.

- You say something to your kids that your mother said to you, and you always hated it.

- You look for your glasses for half an hour, and they were on your head the whole time.

- You sink your teeth into a steak - and they stay there.

- All you want for your birthday is to not be reminded of your age.

- Your idea of weight lifting is standing up.

- It takes longer to rest than it did to get tired.

- Your memory is shorter and your complaining lasts longer.

- Your address book has mostly names that start with Dr.

- The pharmacist has become your new best friend.

- Getting "lucky" means you found your car in the parking lot.

- It takes twice as long - to look half as good.

- Everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt - doesn't work.

- You give up all your bad habits and still don't feel good.

- You have more patience, but it is actually that you just don't care anymore.


Hasta La Vista

Được sửa chữa bởi - milou on 21/10/2001 05:54

You can not ... too far!
Nghh
E***ed by - truongdu on 20/06/2001 01:42:49

The little old lady was standing at the railing of the
> > cruise ship,
> > holding
> > > her hat on tight so that it would not blow off her head
> > in the wind.
> > >
> > > A gentleman approached her and said: "Pardon me, madam.
> > I do not
> > > intend to be forward, but did you know that your dress
> > is blowing up
> > > in this high wind?"
> > >
> > > "Yes, I know," said the lady, "I need both hands to
> > hold onto this hat."
> > >
> > > "But, madam, you must know that your privates are
> > exposed!" said the
> > > gentleman in earnest.
> > >
> > > The woman looked down, then back up at the man and
> > replied,
> > > "Sir, anything you see down there is 85 years old. I
> > just bought this
> > hat
> > > yesterday!"